~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ Chapter 13: To Forgive is Divine ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Hermione burst out of Harry's office, she had to get out of there.  Being so close to him brought her so many memories and a lot more pain.  It was stupid of her to come, why had she done it?  She was stumbling to get out of there when she felt a pair of arms wrap around her.  She fell into them and sobbed on the person's shoulder.

"Please get me out of here.  Take me away from here." She cried softly.

"Shh.  It's okay.  I'll get you out of here." Ron's voice was soothing as he stroked her hair.

"Just where do you think you're going with her, Weasel?" Draco was furious.

Ron drew his wand and whipped around to face him.  "Not now Ferret Boy." 

He held Hermione close as he walked back to the lifts.  She was hiccupping softly and still clinging to him in the elevator.  It felt good to be in his arms, it was comforting, and it was at that moment that she had really missed being his friend, and having him as a friend too.  Ron squeezed her a little closer to him.  He was feeling the same way too.  He had missed being around his friends.  For seven years they had been without each other, been without the people they cared most about.  He could only think of one place he could take her as he sat her down in his car.  He had bought one a couple of years ago.  He blamed his dad for the muggle fascination with automobiles.  He drove in silence, listening to her once in awhile sniffle as she stared out the window.  He wondered what was said since he couldn't hear through the door.  Probably a silencing charm. 

He parked his car, got out and opened Hermione's door.  She leaned on him for support as they walked up the steps of a building.  It seemed like a place where witches and wizards could live in peace and freely do their magic without the worry of muggles.  An elderly witch passed them in the hallway, bags bursting with recent purchases from Diagon Alley.  Children were playing a game of exploding snap on the staircase.  It seemed like a friendly building.  Ron stopped at a door and knocked.

"Ron!  Hermione?!  What are you doing here?  What happened?"  Ginny beckoned her visitors in. 

"I'm sorry Ginny, but I couldn't think of any place to take her." Ron explained.

Ginny steered Hermione to one of her bathrooms.  "Come on.  Let's get you cleaned up."

Ginny left Hermione in the bathroom to wash her face as she gathered some pajamas she could wear.  She knocked on the bathroom door to hand her the clothes, then walked back into the living room where Ron was sitting on the couch.

"What happened?" she asked.

"I'm not really sure.  She came by the Ministry today to talk to Harry.  She was crying when she came out of his office."

"She talked to Harry?"

"Yeah, but I don't know what was said."

"Oh, I don't know why she would talk to him."

"What are you on about?  Why are you so mad at Harry?  Now that I think about it, it wasn't very nice that you slapped him."

"Serves him right after what he did to Hermione."

Ron opened his mouth to respond but shut it as Hermione walked into the room and sat on the sofa. 

"Well, I'm going to finish getting ready.  Hermione you're going to stay here tonight.  You can sleep in the extra room.  And Ron, there's some food in the fridge, just don't eat all of it, and clean up after yourself."

"Where are you off to?" Ron asked.

"It's Friday night.  I have a date."

"A date?  With who?"

Hermione smiled to herself as she listened to Ron continually pester Ginny until the moment she had left the flat.  He was still the overprotective brother.  She could remember the times at Hogwarts when Ron would bully Ginny's potential suitors.  At least some things didn't change, and she welcomed that thought. 

Ron had just finished making himself a sandwich that consisted of every edible thing that Ginny had in her kitchen.  He offered to make something for Hermione, but she wasn't' really that hungry.  Like her father, Ginny also had a fascination with muggle objects.  Hers was a television which held the fascination of Arthur and his sons when they would come and visit, and which right now seemed to hold Ron's undivided attention.  She looked around the place and realized that in all the years that Ginny lived here, Hermione had never visited her.  It was a cozy apartment, definitely a girls' one seeing as she was rooming with Luna Lovegood, who Ginny told them was away on assignment at the moment.  Her eyes wandered around the flat before they settled back on Ron who was staring at back at her.  She smiled warmly at him.

"We need to talk." He said as he turned of the television.

Hermione didn't know if she could handle anymore heart to hearts.

"First of all, I want to apologize to you.  I'm sorry that I wasn't a good friend to you and I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you when you needed me."

Hermione sighed and looked down, but Ron got up and sat in front of her as he continued.

"I miss you.  I miss our friendship.  I know we can't have back all the years we've missed together, but now that we're here together, I don't want to miss any more years without you."  He reached for her hand and held on to it.  "Please forgive me for being a horrible, horrible friend.  I know we can't be back to the way we were right away, but at least give me a chance to start over again."  His voice was cracking.  "Please-"

But Hermione didn't let him finish as she flung her arms around him.  "Oh Ron!  I've missed you so much." She cried.  It was amazing; the human body seemed to have an endless supply of tears. 

They stayed like that for awhile, crying and holding onto one another, basking in the feeling of renewed friendship.  They stayed up all night, sitting in the bed in the extra room, talking about everything they had missed in each others lives for the past seven years.  They tip-toed around a certain topic, a certain name, as they laughed and cried at each others stories.  Finally, as the sun began to rise and the conversation had begun to wind down, Ron spoke up.

"Are you ever going to tell me what happened between you two the night he left?"

Hermione sighed.  She was hoping to avoid this, but she knew she couldn't any longer.

"All right, I'll tell you everything."

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Harry stood at the door of Twelve Grimmauld Place.  He hadn't been here in so long.  Memories of his godfather rushed at him.  He had never fully forgiving himself for the night that Sirius died.  Being back here was just like reopening old wounds.  Harry quietly opened the door and let himself in. The place had stayed the same, although a lot more clean.  The covered portrait of Sirius' mom still hung on the wall.  He could hear voices coming from downstairs in the kitchen.  He walked downstairs and cautiously opened the door. 

They were scattered around the kitchen engaging in small chit chat.  Mundungus Fletcher sat in the corner with Fred and George, probably discussing "business".  Arthur, Bill, Charlie and Molly sat at the table with Remus.  Shacklebolt, Moody and Tonks were in another group.  In the corner were Dumbledore and Snape talking in hushed voices.  Snape.  He hadn't seen him in seven years but the hatred for him was still there.  He still blamed Snape for his role in Sirius' death. 

"Ah yes, our guest of honor has arrived." Dumbledore said aloud when he spotted Harry.

"Jameson?  What are you doing here?  How did you find this place?" Kingsley asked.

"All in due time, all in due time.  Come now, let's begin this meeting."

Many unsure glances were exchanged, but the Weasley's and Remus gave nothing away. 

"The Goblins have agreed to let the aurors trace the accounts of suspected Death Eaters.  They won't give specifics away, but we can at least track a little bit of their spending habits." Bill contributed.

"Fudge will give us extra work as security for the Halloween Ball.  He wants every auror there, which leaves other areas vulnerable." Kingsley spoke up next.

"Talk to the council, see if they can convince him to take only a handful of aurors." Dumbledore advised.  "What news from Voldemort?"

Snape stepped out of the shadows from the corner.  "He's not pleased about something, although what I'm not sure.  But I have found out that he is building an army of Death Eaters, a large one.  Has them training all day."  He paused a little before continuing.  "They are different, deadlier and more violent.  I don't know where he's getting them from or who is teaching them.  But they are excellent in the dark arts."

Harry thought back to his Death Eater encounter at the ministry.  Yes, they were different than the ones he had encountered before.

"Like the ones we caught at the ministry?" Tonks asked.

"If I recall it wasn't you who disabled them, but the Underground.  The ones you've been catching aren't up to snuff.  The ones you caught yesterday that Malfoy called in weren't Death Eaters."

Harry's head snapped up at this news. 

"But they had the mark and everything." Kingsley remarked.

"The mark may be similar but it's not the real thing.  Voldemort knows that we know about the mark, so now the mark is invisible.  You can't see it, only Voldemort can force it to be shown."

"Why haven't we seen more of these Death Eaters?" Arthur asked.

"What we've seen are mostly skirmishes between them and rebel groups." Remus added.

"That I'm not sure of.  All this training and no attacks.  He doesn't divulge his plans in regards to them with us.  He's consorting with someone else, and I have no idea who this person is."

"If the people we caught yesterday weren't Death Eaters, who were they?" Harry asked.

Snape looked at him calculatingly.  "I don't believe any of this is your business." He said coldly.

"Seeing as they tried to hurt a friend of mine, it is very much my business." Harry glared back.

Dumbledore interrupted them.  "Well, I believe it's time for me to introduce our guest.  Harry, if you please." 

Dumbledore gestured at him and Harry took out his wand and tapped it on his head revealing himself.  There was a collective gasp and shocked looks from those who didn't already know who he was.  Snape was giving him a look of pure malice.

"Wotcher Harry!  You're back!" Tonks exclaimed before she ran up to him and gave him a hug.

"I was wondering what Dumbledore was up to when he told me to let you have whatever cases you wanted." Kingsley was enthusiastically shaking his hand. 

"Welcome back Mr. Potter." Moody's voice was gruff, a gnarled smile formed on his face as he slapped Harry on the back, nearly knocking him off balance.

"Well, well, well.  The prodigal son returns." Snape's tone was condescending. 

Harry's eyes narrowed slightly at Snape.

"Harry Potter has come back to us to take his place in the Order of the Phoenix." Dumbledore stated aloud.

A half circle formed around Harry as Moody stood directly in front of him.  He held out his wand his wand with his right hand and touched it to Harry's shoulder.  He then gestured for Harry to do the same.

"I vow to uphold truth, honor and justice.  I vow to fight against those who are against the Light.  I swear allegiance and loyalty to my fellow members as they do so for me.  Only together can we achieve the greater good. For I am a member of the Order of the Phoenix." Moody proclaimed as Harry tried to follow along repeating what he had said.

Arthur Weasley came up next, reciting these same words, repeating the same exact gesture.  He was followed by Fred, then George, and so on and so on.  Harry had begun to recite his vows along with the other members.  He had gotten a little lump in his throat when he swore allegiance with Lupin, who gave his shoulder a slight squeeze when they were finished.  Molly was near tears, after Lupin, looking at him with her eyes shining.  Harry's stomach dropped when he saw Snape approach him.  They hesitated for awhile giving each other expressionless looks before Snape finally raised his wand to Harry's shoulder.  Dumbledore was last, eyes twinkling as they recited Harry's induction into the Order. 

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Harry had stumbled onto his bed around midnight that night.  He was very tired and just plopped down fully dressed.  A small twittering sound was above his head and he swatted at it only to have it come back again.  Harry lifted his head.  It was Pig with a note.

I'm at Ginny's.  I'll be back in the morning.

Ron

Harry laid his head back down on the pillow and shut his eyes.

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The slam of a door woke him from his slumber, followed by a loud pounding on his door.  Groggily, Harry reached for his wand to undo the locking charm he had placed on his door.  Ron flung the door open.

"YOU ASSHOLE!" then he turned around and stormed off.

Harry groaned into his pillow.  Guess he found out about that night, he thought to himself.  He forced himself out of bed and grabbed a t-shirt off the floor to go with his pajama bottoms.  He walked into the living room to find Ron angrily pacing the floor.  Harry didn't know if he could stand another fight.

"You slept with our best friend!  She told me everything about that night.  How could you?" Ron was clearly irate.

"You saw her last night?  How is she?" Harry asked in a voice of concern.

"How is sh—Harry, she loved you so much.  She told me so last night.  How could you lead her on like that?  Take advantage of her?"

"I did NOT take advantage of her that night." Harry said hotly.

"Well, what would you call it then?"

"Look it was in the heat of the moment, and I wasn't thinking clearly.  It wasn't supposed to happen."

"Not supposed to happen?"

"No, it was a mistake."

"A MISTAKE??!!  Harry, it's not like it was an accident.  You didn't trip and fall into her."

"That's not what I meant.  I meant it wasn't supposed to happen like that.  It was done out of jealousy and selfishness."

"But I thought you loved her."

"I did.  I do.  But I didn't want her like that so quickly."

"Harry, I know you were a virgin, but were you going to wait for your wedding night or something?"

"No.  I just didn't want to take her so soon.  We had just found out that we loved each other."

"Then why did you leave her?"

"I had to.  Malfoy had used her to get to me.  What if Voldemort found out about her?  What would he do to her?  I'd rather die than let him harm her."

"He already harmed her, Harry."

"I know.  I will forever pay for that." He said softly.  "How is she?"

"She's a little upset."

"Do you think she still loves me?"

Ron sighed.  "I don't know, mate.  It doesn't look good."

Harry sighed and shook his head.  He had to sit down.  He was fighting down the lump in his throat.

"She asked me to go to the zoo with her today.  I'm supposed to meet her there this afternoon." Ron informed him.  "Maybe you should go instead."

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Hermione dragged herself out of bed around noon so she could get ready to meet Ron.  She pulled on a pair of jeans and white t-shirt and put her hair into a ponytail before heading out the door.  It was a beautiful day outside as Hermione sat on a bench waiting for Ron.  She watched as people passed her by; families with children, young couples in love, people laughing and having a good time.  She began to think about her own life.  Here she was, young, at the start of her life; but it wasn't the life that she wanted.  What would her parents think about her?  She missed them so much.  She had such a promising future, now look at her.  Her life had been thrown into chaos.  Her parents were dead, she had no job, she couldn't even go outside without some sort of disguise, and she was alone.  She watched a young family pass by; the father was carrying his son on his shoulders, while the mother was pushing along a stroller with an infant inside.  They were laughing and smiling.  Would that have been her if things were different?  Her eyes began to mist and water.  She felt a hand softly on her shoulder and looked up to its owner.

"I knew you would come.  I figured Ron would do that." She smiled softly at him.

Harry looked into her sad face.  He too had seen the young family pass by and he knew they were thinking the same thing.  He sat down next to her and handed her a tissue.

"Life never turns out the way we want it to, huh?" he asked sadly.

She blew her nose into the tissue and gave a small laugh.  "No.  I guess it doesn't."

"Come on.  Lets go for a walk." He stood up and offered his hand to her. 

She took it and stood up with him.  They walked through the zoo, not saying anything for awhile.  Harry had noticed that she didn't pull her hand from his, and he was fine with that.

"I once made the glass disappear and set a snake on my cousin when I last came here." Harry reminisced.

Hermione gave a small smile.  "Did you really?"

"Yeah.  It was one of the few times the Dursley's had let me go with them somewhere fun.  Before I knew I was a wizard."

She remembered that Harry had grown up with a cruel aunt and uncle after his parents had died.

"Do you know about my parents?"

"I found out about them a couple of days ago.  I'm so sorry, if I had only read the note…"

"You didn't see the note?" she asked him surprised.

Harry shook his head.  "The night I…left, I had brushed aside a piece of paper that was on my bed.  I'm assuming now that it was the note Voldemort had left me.  I would have done anything to save them.  No one should have to lose their parents like that." He added bitterly.

They didn't say anything for awhile, just kept on walking. 

"I don't think I would've let you go anyway." She said quietly.

Harry stopped and looked at her.  Anguish filled up inside of him as he looked at the pained look on her face.  Her face scrunched as she burst into tears.  He gathered her into his arms in a protective hug.

"I'm sorry, Hermione.  I'm so sorry for everything I've done to you.  And for everything that was done because of me." He was crying too.

"Why?  Why did you leave me, Harry?"

"I was afraid Voldemort was going to hurt you.  I would have died if that happened.  I had to do something."

"But you left without saying goodbye."

"I know.  I was stupid, I was a coward.  I knew that I couldn't leave your side if I looked into your eyes one more time.  But I had to."

"Where did you go?"

"Durmstrang.  To study the Dark Arts."

"Oh, Harry."

"I had to know what I was up against."

"I wish you never left."

"I've wished that since the day I did."

He held her hand again as they continued to walk through the zoo.  He offered her a ride home, since Ron had lent him his car.  She instructed him to the gates of the manor.  Harry turned off the car and sat back in his seat.

"Where do we go from here?" he asked her.  A knot was forming in his stomach.

"I don't know.  So much has happened lately.  I need to think about things." She sounded so tired.

"Do you think we could ever be friends again?"

"I don't know.  I feel like I need to evaluate my life right now.  Take a step back and sort things out first."

Harry nodded.  She unbuckled herself and opened the door and then stopped.  She turned back to Harry, leaned over and gave him a small kiss on his cheek.

"Goodbye, Harry.  And, welcome back." Then she left him in the car.

Harry watched her as she opened the gates and walked through them.  He watched her as she walked all the way to the front door.  Something died inside of him as she walked through the door and shut it behind her.

"Goodbye, Hermione." He said softly to himself, then he started the car and drove home.

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Hermione sat at her dressing table, staring at herself in the mirror.  She had cried some more when she got home.  She opened a drawer at her side and reached in to pull out a small jeweled box.  She opened it and pulled out a silver chain with a silver key adorned with snakes and emeralds attached to it.  She stared at herself in the mirror again.  Yes, she needed to make some changes in her life.  She put the necklace around her neck and fingered the key.  There was a knock at her door.

"It's me. Ginny."

"Come in."

"I came by to check on you.  How are you doing?"

Hermione turned to look at Ginny, a determined look on her face.

"Ginny, I need your help with something."

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Yay!  I hit the 100 reviews mark!  Thanks to everyone who reviewed.  It's kinda crazy right now so I might update more slowly for the next couple of weeks.  But be patient!  Good things come to those who wait right?  But I'll tease you with this little tidbit:

Coming up next:  Hermione will rock Harry and Draco's worlds.

(Author lets out an evil laugh)