Chapter 3

Ron and I sit by the fire in the common room. It's warm and cozy, but it's just not the same without Hermione. The chairs are velvety and soft, but uncomfortable without the warmth of her body near me. The fire crackles and I stare into it thinking about what it would be like if she were in here. Ron seems to be so interested in his quidditch magazine that he doesn't know I'm troubled anyway.

Hermione has caused me some concern today for obvious reason. She just ran away from me on the train. She just took off. Why? Why did she leave me? She acts crazy like this sometimes, and usually I just blow it off. I'm starting to really get worried now. I really love her. I honestly do. And I have never been able to say that about anyone in my life. Hogwarts gave me people to love. I need to talk to her soon. Maybe tomorrow. I need to know what's going on with her.

Soon my eyes start to burn from staring into the flame and I feel someone sit down beside me. My heart leaps. I thought it might be Hermione. It wasn't. Lavender's form had taken the place of the Hermione I was imagining having my arm around. We had become good friends last year due to a few deep conversations about Hermione and our growing relationship, and I am starting to realize that she is a great person.

"Harry, are you ok?" she asks me politely. She is concerned. She must have noticed that spaced out glazed look on my face. More than Ron noticed anyway. It's nice to have someone realize that you need to talk.

"Yeah Lav, I'm ok" I lie. She knows. She can tell I'm lying. I told you we have become closer.

"Harry, don't lie to me. You can't take your eyes off that fire. You are anti-social tonight. Please tell me what's bothering you". She's just always so nice to me. I give in. This seems to be what I need. I need someone to vent to. I need someone who can give me their opinion on this situation. I need Lavender's girl perspective.

"Well, I just don't know if I should talk about this" I start off, not wanting to divulge too much information. I don't want to gush out my emotions like a girl. I want too look a little manly. Foolish pride. She rolls her eyes at me and gives me that look that says 'just tell me'. So I begin.

"It started on the train. Hermione. . . well she's being odd" I begin. Wow, I really don't know how to say these things. I stumble over my words and try again to recount the days events. "She ran away from me. She was crying about Draco, but she ran away from me".

She doesn't change the expression on her face. It was almost as though she had expected this. She nods her head as I ramble on about my feelings towards my best friends, and she just listens. She listens to me. She listens when I talk. And that is what I like most of all.

Soon I am all out of things to say to her. I have told her what's went on and I have no more words left. She opens her mouth and beings to comfort me.

"Harry, take some advice from a female. Hermione was your best friend. She was part of your dream team. Suddenly, she is more than a friend. Where does that leave you? Because I will tell you what she is feeling right now. Suddenly she doesn't know how to treat you. Where most people have a friend to confide in and a boyfriend, you are both. So when she needs to talk about you to her best friend. . . she can only talk to you. Do you see what I'm saying?" She explains this all very fast and I'm confused. But I kinda get it. I have taken away her best friend by being her boyfriend.

I don't believe her. I don't believe that this is a big problem. I will figure this all out. I just have to figure out where to begin.

I stand up leaving Lavender on the couch. I stretch my arms above my head and begin to climb the stairs. Ron's nose is still buried in his magazine and doesn't notice that I have gotten up to leave. No big deal. I don't really feel like talking to him tonight anyway. I enter the empty room. It's still early and no one is ready for bed yet. But depression has set in. I have a lot to think about. I take my pajamas out of my trunk and put them on laying my robes on the chair beside my four poster. I gaze out the window that is layered with a light dew at the sleepy grounds. I see the quidditch pitch and Hagrid's hut. I feel at home at last.

****Hermione's POV****

Even my books are no comfort. The fireplace is warm and inviting, but I don't feel like I belong. My place is in Harry's arms. Sitting beside him by the fire like we used to do. I can't take this anymore. I need to be with him. I have to keep convincing myself I need to be with him.

Suddenly my books are on the floor. My quill is tucked away and I'm on my feet. They are carrying me to the Gryffindor common room. Being Head Girl has benefits. I get all the passwords. The corridors are freezing and uninviting, but I stay on course. I am sure that I will feel much better when I reach my destination.

I reach the Fat Lady. A site very familiar to me. I remember this so well. She's snoring but I say the password anyhow and the portrait hole swings open. I step inside and I already feel more at home. I blink and open my eyes scanning the room for my friends, and more importantly, my boyfriend. I see him. He is sitting on the couch. That one place we would lounge at night after night just cuddling up and being warm. His arm is up around the back of the couch, and as my eyes follow it I see something I would like to ignore.

Above the back of the couch I see sleek brown hair flowing down the shoulders of a girl my age. Lavender. I already know it's her. She seems to have attached herself to him ever since we started seriously dating. And it looks like he doesn't really seem to mind it.

I stand there. I am frozen. Friends around me smile and say hi, but Harry never realized I was there. Tears welled up in my eyes. I don't know why. Maybe I was upset he was close to her. It's not like he was kissing her, it just felt like she was taking my place. I turn around and walk out the portrait hole before letting the tears flow freely. The corridors are empty. Everyone is in their common rooms making friends with first years and catching up with old friends. I know I will not be seen tonight.

I continue my walk. I'm taking the long way. I am in no rush to get back to my common room with Draco. The portraits on the walls see me crying. Some ask if I'm okay. Some of them laugh at me. Some even follow me around in my walking. I don't care. They are portraits.

I turn a corner. My head is down and my sobs are silent. "Okay?" a cold voice asks me. What kind of question is that? I look up. Big mistake. Platinum blonde hair is staring me in the face. I notice him this time. Pale and very blonde. His silver eyes seem to look right through me. He is handsome. . . .what am I thinking?!?!

"What's it to you?" I ask again in the same manner as I did on the train. Immediately I feel remorse for speaking to him like that. After all, he has been very civil to me. "Sorry" I mumble under my breath and continue walking.

He turns direction so he can walk along with me. "Well I was just going to get some food. This is public domain. I thought I would be civil and ask if you wanted to walk along". It's odd to hear him say things like this to me. Sure, he says he's in public domain, but the halls are deserted. He has no reason to act like this.

"I'm sorry Draco but I'm not feeling so well tonight. I think I am going to head up the common room" I tell him reluctantly. I don't want him to think we can be friends.

He looks disappointed. He is acting so strangely lately. "Oh okay. Actually I will just walk there with you. I seem to have lost my appetite". He keeps a safe distance from me. He does not talk to me. He looks over at me with concern every few seconds, but I'm not talking. I will not talk.

We reach the portrait hole and he speaks the password to the sleeping man in the frame. He flinches a bit but opens anyway. Draco lets me in first and we head up to our separate rooms. "Goodnight" he whispers before entering his room. I believe he thought I couldn't hear him. But it was audible. I paused and turned around, but he was gone. Confused, I turn and enter my room.

****Draco's POV****

Green and silver. That's the story of my life. They had to decorate my room in silver and green. I wonder if Hermione's is crimson and gold. Not like I will ever be inside it to find out. I decide not to leave my room tonight. There is no where I feel like going. No one wants to see me, and I have no desire to see anyone.

I lie on my bed and stare up at the ceiling. I could lay here for hours. After all, that's what I used to do when my father was on a war path through our house. There he is again. My father is always popping into my head. I can't his face out of my mind. I can't forget the way he looked the last time I saw him in Azkaban. Crazy. I have never seen anyone so insane. The solitude had really gotten to him.

I shake the image from my mind. I will not think about him tonight. I will not. A walk. A walk is what I need. I need to clear my mind. I open my door and walk down the stairs. No Hermione in sight. She must have gone to bed. It's still early, but that is the only explanation I can think of. I walk through the halls for a while. I don't see anyone. They are all in the common rooms. It's all the same to me. I don't want any confrontation tonight anyway.

I walk around for about ten minutes before I hear someone coming my way. Funny breathing. Sniffling. Who is it? They turn the corner. Bushy hair, petite girl. Hermione. And she's crying. Who know why. Probably because of her situation with Potter. I proceed up to her. Something in me says treat her with care. I don't want to harden her heart anymore than I already have.

"Aryaokay?" I mumble to her. She probably didn't understand what I said. She probably didn't expect me to even acknowledge her. She snaps back at me just like she had on the train. Well that's to be expected. But I let it go.

"Well I was heading to get some food, would you like to join me?" I quickly make up a lie. I thought she would enjoy some company in her state. Why am I being so nice. This is not the Malfoy way. She apologizes and explains she wants to go to bed. I understand. I am not stupid. Quite the opposite. She wants to be alone. She doesn't want to be with me.

So I offer to walk her back to the common room. I keep my distance. We are still not friends. We already make that deal, and I will make sure we stick to it. She's still a bossy-know-it-all. I am not acquainting myself with that. I have to remind myself that I no longer have friends and I don't need them. I don't have a father. Most importantly, I don't have a reason to be mean to so called mudbloods.

I open the portrait for her and let her in first. I follow her up to our rooms and we go our separate ways. When I am sure she is out of ear shot I say "goodnight". Where did that come from? I don't know. I quickly slip into my room. This way if she did hear me maybe she will think she is mistaken. Without removing my robes I jump into bed and under the covers. I close my eyes to this cruel unforgiving world. Isn't it sad? I'm eighteen years old, and already I believe that this world I live in is nothing but harsh and intolerable. I am alone. I will forever be sad and alone.

One tear falls down my cheek. Strike that from the records. I don't want anyone to know I can cry. Maybe I'm sad about my pathetic life. I don't really know. All I do know is that I am miserable. I am destined to live in misery for the rest of my life.

****Hermione's POV****

I lay on my bed. My silk pajamas are so smooth on my skin, yet so cold. I need Harry. Wait. . . no I don't. Not if he is going to find comfort in Lavender. I know she is trying to make him feel better, but I also know that she has had a crush on him for some time.

I need to talk. I need to know what's going on. I just need to spill everything. Just to vent. But who wants to hear me talk? It dawns on me. There was one person tonight that was concerned. No, we aren't friends, but maybe he would do this for me. He knew I was upset and still asked if I wanted to be with him. Why did I reject him?

I slide off my bed and put my feet in my slippers. My bathrobe goes around my shoulders and I tie the strap at the waist. I open the door slowly. It's about midnight by this time. I slip across the hall to Draco's door and lightly knock. I hear something that sounds like a muffled "yeah?" and I turn the knob.

"Draco? Can we talk?" I ask in a weak voice. He sits up quickly with an odd look of concern.

"Sure" he answers as he walks towards me. "Sit down" he says as he motions to the chair. 'Must be distant' I remind myself.

He sits on the bed. "Go ahead and talk. That's all you need to do. I know that's what you need. Don't worry, I won't tell any of your little secrets to anyone" he drawls on. And for some reason I know he is telling the truth. Maybe it's because he doesn't have any friends. I believe him, and I gush out all my feelings and emotions to him.

I finish my story about Harry. I finish telling him my feelings, my reservations. I tell him about Lavender. He does nothing but listen intently and nod his head. Clearly, he is hanging on my every word. I couldn't appreciate it more. A good listener is hard to find. I realize that tears are streaming down my face and I'm a little bit shaky.

He keeps his promise and he keeps his distance. It almost hurts. I have to remind myself it's Draco Malfoy. I just want a hug. I want someone to hold me and tell me I will be okay. I look down at my hands folded in my lap. The chair I'm sitting in is cold and uncomfortable. . .and very green. There are wet spots all around me from tears. He knows I'm crying, I just wish he could reach out to me.

I sit there. It's silent. Suddenly he breaks the silence. "Is that all you have to say?" he asks quietly.

"No" I blurt out. "Why are you being so nice to me? Why did you offer food for me? Why are you listening so closely? Do you actually care? What's going on?" I ask very quickly. I regret it almost immediately. He seems overcome with questions.

"I don't know. I just don't know" he whispers as he looks at the floor. "I have just come to realize what it's like to feel alone" he mutters. He seems embarrassed to be saying this to me.

"Draco?" I ask quietly. "Maybe we can be friends". It's all I need to say. Nothing less nothing more. He looks up at me with a hopeful glint in his eye. He slowly nods yes. I walk towards him and put my arms around him. "I think you need a hug as badly as I do" I whisper in his ear. To my surprise he quietly says yes as tears begin to flow down his cheeks at the same rapid rate as mine.