Reunions

REUNION



It was close to 2 years after Sirius had escaped. He had eluded the grasping fingers and watchful eyes of the ministry, until he was caught at Hogwarts - where he had been to kill Harry. God Sirius, what happened to you. You used to be so fun loving, the first to laugh, play jokes on people, but always the first to apologize if the person was your friend. Now you get thrown in Azkaban for murdering James and Lily, then after 12 years in that place, you escape to murder your best friend's son. What changed in you? Did James really do something that horrible to you? Or were you just acting on your master's instructions? Well Sirius, I hope you are happy with him. He deserves you.



Sirius sat in the cave by Hogsmead , eating the chicken Harry had recently sent him via Hedwig. Life was just as hard for him as it normally was, living off rats and such. But he had to make sure that nothing was going to happen to Harry in his 5th year. It was only September, but already shreds of evidence pointing to Voldermort's return were showing. In Hogsmead, everything was tightly secured, and people hurried about their business, as though they wanted to get home soon, and not get caught loitering in an alley. Especially as they didn't want Voldermort to turn up and to another Mass Murder spree. Or him. People expected that Sirius Black had returned to Voldermort, and was his right hand man again. Ha! If only they knew the truth. Sirius had changed in Azkaban. He used to be carefree and fun, back when he was young. Now he was cynical, easily annoyed, and mistrusting. Maybe it was just the fact that he was older. Or maybe it was all he had seen in Azkaban, all he had heard ; all he had witnessed. He had seen his best friend and his wife dead. He had watched Wormtail murder 12 people. He had seen stuff in Azkaban that he never wanted to think about again.

But there were things he wanted to see again. Things he wanted to know about. He wanted to see Dani more than anything. More than the world. He had never really thought about it - he had been too absorbed in self misery - but, what had she gone through? He had seen the change in Remus, but what about her? She thought her ex - fiancee a murderer. Damn Wormtail. All those wasted years! He should have married her while he had the chance. Now no one will ever go near him again.



I Hate Sirius! I Hate Sirius! I Hate Sirius! The number of times I could say that - it would be forever. But I knew inside that I never would be able to hate him fully. I had been too much in love with him. But that was a long time ago, right? I wasn't sure of it anymore. After the shock of him escaping had passed, I half wanted him to come and visit me. But if he did, would I kill him? Before he had another chance to hurt me?



Oh, I want to talk to Dani. To be near her again. To even see her for a minute. Dumbledore knew I wanted too and warned me against it. After all, no one in the English Ministry had seen or heard from her in 10 years. As well, she, like many others, believed me the murderer. He hoped that she had known that he wasn't, but deep inside he knew that she did. After all, I had left our house in a rage that day. I was mad enough to kill anyone.



"That's right Sirius. You never mean anything you say."

And she walked out.

I stormed out after her, and saw her sobbing in the arm chair near the fireplace.

"I'll be back later, Honey" My voice was icy cold, and sarcastic. I saw her wince, just before I slammed the door.

I made my way to James house, smashing things out of my way with my wand. By the time I got there, I was calmer, but not much. I pounded on the door, and Lily pulled it open, carrying Harry in her arms.

"Sirius. What's wrong?"

"Stupid, stupid Dani! I hate her so much!"

"Well padfoot, I never expected that from you"

"Shut up Prongs. Want to swap your perfect life for my horrible one?"

"No thanks Padfoot. I am perfectly happy with my perfect life." He kissed Lily on the cheek, and reached out to hold Harry. I felt a wave of jealousy burning up inside of me. Why couldn't Dani and I be like that?

I left soon after for the flat Remus and I shared when I wasn't with Dani, to calm down before I went to apologize to her. But I never got the chance. She never knew...

She never knew.

***



"Oh hey Pickles"

I grabbed the letter that was tied to his leg and began to read it. It was from Dumbledore. How he had found me I knew not, but I didn't care. For so long I wanted to talk to my old friends, but had been too embarrassed to do so.



Dear Ms. Milano,

This is Professor Dumbledore. It has taken me 2 long years to find you, and I have finally managed to do so. We need you back in our service as aurors. We are greatly in need of more , as most were killed in his last uprising, or they have gone missing. Also, I have someone you may want to meet. Or, I daresay, you may not. Anyway, here is your muggle plane ticket, should you decide to come. If you do so, please catch the train from Platform 9 3/4 on October 11. Please come. I have been reduced to begging. Many people here want to see you again.



- Albus



October 11! That gave me little over a week to decide. Well, my decision didn't take very long. Within 5 minutes I had decided that I would go. I was going back to the life I had run away from 10 long years ago.

***

"Yes, Sirius, she is coming back. I just got her owl. However, I must warn you that she will have changed, as you have. She was hurt very badly by you, and chances are, she will not just accept your innocence. Be prepared for the worst.

" But I didn't murder them!"

"You know that. I know that. Harry knows that. She doesn't."

"But she knows me so well..."

"She probably thinks that she doesn't know you as well as she thought she did. And you can't blame her."

" I know. But remember, I was hurt too. She wasn't the only one."

"I never forgot"

Sirius bade goodbye to Dumbledore and went down to Remus' office - in dog form. He knocked on the door. The school had been told that Dumbledore had a new dog, so no one payed any real attention to him except to pet him. He was free to wander the halls, but sometimes he preferred the cave. He would stay there for months on end, just thinking. He liked the quiet - something else that had changed. At school, he had always wanted to be around people, making loud noises and being in the thick of things. But after 12 years of people screaming in their sleep next to him, he loved to be alone, to just....be.



Doomsday. October 11. Oh, why had I made my decision so rashly? I didn't really wanted to go back to England, didn't really want to go back to what she had left behind. But as she stood in front of Platform 9 3/4, I knew I had no choice. I stepped through the barrier, the familiarity of it enveloping her like a warm hug. She made her way down the train, and sat in an empty compartment. It would stay empty. After a few hours the cauldron cake lady came, and I chose out some Bertie Bott's every flavour beans, chocolate frogs, and drooble's best blowing gum. They had been Sirius' favourite....

I fell asleep, but woke up just as we were pulling into the station . I could see Dumbledore waiting for me. I stepped off the train, into the world I never wanted to be in again. Dumbledore held out his arms, and I ran into them, crying softly. He had been like a father to me, and I had missed him so much. I pulled away, wiping tears from my face stupidly. Then I noticed who was standing behind him. It was Remus Lupin.

"RRRREEEEEEMMMMMUUUUUSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oh Dani. I missed you so much."

"Oh Remus! I am sooooo sorry. But I had to get away from it. I had to get away from it all."

"It's O.K. Dani. I forgive you. I don't know how I got through it, but I did. And here I am. A teacher."

I just then noticed all the streaks of grey in his hair, and the lines around his eyes.

"Oh Remus. I feel so horrible for abandoning you. But, I couldn't think about Sirius any more. Everywhere I went, everything I did, reminded me of him. And I wanted to forget about it."

"Enough apologies. Let's go inside and get caught up. How about it?"

"Sounds great"

He grabbed my hand, and we ran up to the castle, leaving Dumbledore there . We laughed like children, and I laughed like I haven't laughed in close to 10 years.


***

I paced the cave, in dog form. So she would be here. But I knew I couldn't see her. She would probably take out her wand and Avada Kedavra me if I just walked up to her and said

"Hi Dani! It's Sirius. Remember me?"

I thought back to Dumbledore's words ' she has been hurt very deeply by you'. These words made me very angry. It's not as though I have been living in the Carribean on the beach. I wanted to see her so badly I had to force myself to stay in the cave. She was a 10 minute walk away, and I was sitting here, doing nothing. I knew I would regret this later. What if she decided to go back to America without my ever seeing her? I know. I'll go up to the castle, and stay in my Dog form. I just need to see her, even if only for a second.

I ran up to the castle , and ran in the front door. The students were at dinner, so I was free to roam the halls. Not knowing where she might be, I decided to go to Remus' office. When I reached there, I pulled the door open.


***

I sat with Remus at his desk, sipping butterbeer. He was just telling me all about Harry and his adventures, when a big black dog walked in. Remus blanched.

"Who's is that? And what's wrong?'

"Oh, uh, that's Dumbledore's dog. I'm just, well, afraid of it."

He glanced at the dog, and if I hadn't known better, I'd have thought he sent the dog a warning look. I couldn't help but think the dog looked vaguely familiar. Like something out of a memory. But as soon as it had come, it left.

"Remus - is there something about that dog that I should know about?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it just seems to me that I knew something about it. Once upon a time..."

"Well. It's new." He said this very stiffly.

I fell silent.

"Come on Dani. Let's just talk."

I smiled, and he continued to tell me about Harry.


***

I walked hurriedly up to Dumbledore's office. I quickly turned back into a man, whispered the password 'acid pop' and barged through. I found Dumbledore sitting in his armchair by the fire, looking calm.

"So you have seen her I take it..." He was still facing the fire.

"Yes. Yes I have. And my heart broke . It shattered. I can't take it. I had looked forward for a week for this. But now that's she is here, I almost don't want her to be. Things change you know. Things left me behind, and just by looking at her, I realized things will never go back to being the same. I have always subconsciously known it, but I just figured that out. Dumbledore, am I to be a criminal on the run for the rest of my life? I don't want this life anymore. I'm beginning to not even want to live anymore."

"Sirius. You can't think that. Did you survive Azkaban to kill yourself? I don't think so."

"But I don't want her to be near to me every day without me seeing her. I don't want to live in that pain. I just don't."

"I understand Sirius. You can be our messenger until we see fit to reveal your true identity."

"Until we see fit?"

"Until we see fit."


***

Dumbledore gave me a room in the castle, and a place at the Staff table. He announced me to everyone. He told them I was Daniella Milano, and I was an alum of Hogwarts. He didn't say anymore, but in my head, I was telling myself 'and Sirius' Black fiancee'. He almost called my Daniella Black, I could tell. His exact words were

"And I have great please in announcing that we have a guest at the castle, by the name of Daniella B- I mean Daniella Milano. She may come and sit in on some of your classes, so do not be alarmed. She is just here to learn more, as well as for old time's sake."

As Dumbledore confused my name, I could have sworn that the dog sitting by his feet winced, as though Dumbledore had brought up something the dog didn't want to remember. The dog was looking more familiar every second. And there was something about the eyes....

The next day, I was sitting in the 5th year Gryffindor Potions class. Snape had recognized me, and gave me evil looks throughout the class. And when Dumbledore's dog came in to deliver a message from Dumbledore to Harry, ( which was fairly normal) he just glanced at the dog with disgust and continued teaching. The dog looked at me, and it had a longing in it's eyes. I rubbed my eyes, thinking I must be seeing things, and sure enough, when I opened my eyes again, it looked like a dog.


***

I walked into Harry's potions class with a note from me too him. These had become quite regular, we exchanged notes, just as James and I had. He asked me how I was doing, blah, blah, blah, and I told him other things. I told him about me and James, me and Remus, just basically my history. He found it very interesting. My note today read



You see Daniella Milano at the back of your class? The older one? She was my fiancee. We hadn't set the date yet when I was put away. She testified against me before leaving for America. Dumbledore persuaded her to come back . She doesn't know we are even on the same planet, so don't say anything.

- Snuffles



Harry glanced at the letter, wide eyed, and his eyes flicked back to Dani. I couldn't help but look too. She still looked as angelic as she had a long time ago. Her blonde hair, all pulled up, her blue eyes shining in the light of the cauldrons, her pale complexion glowing. She caught me looking at her, and I quickly turned away, grabbed Harry's letter and trotted out of the room.

I looked at Harry's response back in Dumbledore's office.



I thought something like that might have been going on. I also think she might suspect something. Lay Low.

-Harry


***

I continued to see the strange dog around the castle , though not as much as before. Something seemed to be telling me in the back of my mind that I knew him, but I chose to ignore it. After all, who knows a dog? Around Christmas time, I went to go visit Dumbledore, and was surprised to hear voices arguing in his office. One of the voices sounded strangely familiar, but i couldn't place it.

"I Have to tell her professor! I can't take this anymore!"

"You will do no such thing"

"I Have too! I can't take this anymore."

"You will have to. Now if you will excuse me, I have to return to my work"

"Fine"

"Please come by later. I should like to talk to you, but I have a lot of work."

There were footsteps coming towards the door now, they were angry sounding. The door was wrenched open, and I found myself looking into the face of Sirius Black. I screamed, and all went black.


***

Oh My God. What have I done? I just ran into my ex- fiancee, the one who still believed me a dangerous murderer, and I did it while I was incredibly mad and dangerous looking. She looked at me as if I was the bloody ghost of Christmas past, screamed, and fainted . And now she was lying on one of Dumbledore's sofa's still out cold, and I was as white as a sheet.

"Maybe I should go Professor."

"It will do no good Sirius. She has already seen you."

So it had finally happened. It wasn't exactly the reunion I had expected, but it was something. After a few minutes, her eyelids began to flicker, and I turned my back to her. I could hear Dumbledore ask if she was alright, but half way through, she screamed again.

"What is he doing here?"

"He is here watching over Harry"



"Ha! He murdered his parents! He tried to murder him! It was all in the Daily Prophet!"

Slowly, I turned around to face her.

He began to turn around, and as he did, I got up, walked across the room, and slapped him across the face.

"How could you Sirius? How could you! Why don't you just kill me here and now so I can see my friends again. The ones you murdered!"

"I didn't murder them." His eyes looked hurt.

"Yes. Yes you did. Don't bother to deny it. I HATE you!"

He gave a half smile. " Don't I know it."

"Excuse me?"

"Don't I know it.... Everybody does. But not Harry, Remus or Dumbledore. They know the truth."

"Then they have been deceived in you. Just like I was."

"Is that honestly what you think?" His voice was barely more than a whisper.

"Yes. I do. What happened to you Sirius? I thought I loved an honest person. I thought I loved someone who loved me back. I guess I was wrong"

And I stormed out of the room . My legs carried me down to the DADA classroom, where Remus was teaching the 5th years. I came in, apologized for interrupting and sat at the back. After 2 minutes I began to cry. Remus looked at me, swore under his breath, then announced "Class Dismissed" . The students got up and left, smiling at their good fortune

"You saw him, didn't you"

"Yes. I went to say Merry Christmas to Dumbledore, and he walked out just as I arrived. We just had a big argument."

"He really is innocent, you know."

"No he isn't. He can't be. For years I dreamed that he was innocent, but now that I see him, I can't believe it. His eyes..."

"They look dead, don't they"

"Yes. Except every time they looked at me, there was a look in his eyes as though he was being tortured."

"Well, the dead look is what you get for spending 12 years in Azkaban. The tortured look is because of you."

"Why?"

"Because you were the only person he thought would believe him. And you are the only one of his old friends that are alive who doesn't. Look, Dani. He is innocent, believe it or not. He switched the secret keeper to Peter. We have proof. WE can offer you all the proof you want, but we can't make you believe him. Only you can do that."

As he walked away, I couldn't help but think of a song that used to be one of my favourites.



They passed me by

all of those great romances

because of you robbing me

of my rightful chances



My picture clear

Everything seems so easy

But then u dealt me the blow

one of us had to go

how you hurt me I want you to know



One of us is crying

one of us is lying

in her lonely bed

staring at the ceiling wishing she was somewhere else instead


One of us is lonely

One of us is only waiting for a call

Sorry for herself

Feeling stupid feeling small

Wishing you had never left at all



I wished my life had been more simple. I wish Sirius had never... had never.. Oh I was so confused. I don't know what he did anymore.
***

"Padfoot! What did you say to her?"

"Hey moony. I don't know. She took one look at me and fainted, and when she woke up, she started slapping me and yelling . And then she said ' I thought I was in love with someone who loved me back. I guess I was wrong' and then she walked out."

"Padfoot, she knows you loved her. She told me, almost 10 years ago. But she was angry. She was hurt. You can't blame her."

"I know. But she was the one I always thought would believe me"

'I told her that. She started sobbing during my class. I let them all out early."

'Oh Moony, what am I going to do?"


***

I sat in my bedroom, looking out at the moon. I now had to believe he was innocent, if Remus said they had proof. Remus never lied. Peter, the secret keeper? It didn't make sense. There came a soft knocking at the door.

"Come in"

The door opened unsteadily, and there stood Sirius Black.

I turned my head away, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw his hurt face turn to leave.

"No wait."

"If it's all right."

"So spill. Why are you innocent." My voice was like ice.

"At the last minute, I switched the secret keeper to Peter. I thought Voldermort would never suspect someone like him. That weak talent less thing that the 6 of us had befriended. When I arrived at the Potter's house to make sure everything was alright, it was too late. I saw Lily, dead, cradling the air. And James was crushed my rubble, blood seeping all over the wreckage. I couldn't bear it. They died because of me. Harry had no parents because of me. I was stupid, filled with rage. Instead of going straight to Dumbledore, as i should have done, I went after Peter. The rest is history. I had bought roses to give to you, and I was about to bring them home to you, when I went to check. I left them with James. I hope you don't mind" he chuckled bitterly. " And then I had 12 years to dwell on that day. 12 years. It was torture."


I wasn't sure I believed him. He must have noticed.\

'Please Dan, you know I would never kill James and Lily. You know that. You know me."

But do I know him?

"Look, Dan. It's your choice whether you believe me or not. I just thought you knew me better than that. And this hasn't exactly been a walk in the park for me either, believe me."His voice sounded bitter and cold, just as it had the last time I had seen him - over 10 years ago, when I had gotten mad at him.


He turned to leave, and all of a sudden, it hit me. He was telling the truth.

I leaped up.

"Wait Sirius!"

He turned around, scarcely daring to believe it. I wrapped him in a hug, and his tense body slowly relaxed.

"Oh Sirius, I missed you do much".