Back To Before
Disclaimer : Every HP thing you recognize belongs to JK Rowling. The main song
belongs to RAGTIME the musical. The
song "Slipping Through My Fingers" Belongs to ABBA
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Please read the Authors Note. You need to read for the story to make sense !!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Authors Note : This is the sequel to Memories Can Kill.
The 1ST CHAPTER : MEMORIES CAN KILL is about Sirius in Azkaban. He reminisces
about the life that was, James, and Daniella, his Ex Fianc‚e.
The 2nd CHAPTER : ON MY OWN is about Daniella, living alone in Boston, from her
point of view of what happened so long ago, and her love for Sirius is it still there
? At the end, she discovers that Sirius has broken out of Azkaban.
The 3RD CHAPTER : REUNION is about Daniella coming back to the life she had run
away from 13 years ago She meets Sirius again, and refuses to believe that he is
innocent. Finally, she does, but only after they talk.
The 4TH CHAPTER : LOOKING BACK is about what complled her to leave. It is just
reflections.
THE 5TH CHAPTER IS CONTINUING FROM CHAPTER 3, WHERE THEY MEET AGAIN.
AND NOW! WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! THE STORY!
There was a time
Our happiness seemed never ending
Dani sat in her office, reading a newspaper. She couldn't really understand what had
happened in the past few days, it was all a blur to her now. After 13 long years, she was
home. She was with Remus, her best friend And For some unknown cause, Sirius
had come back into her life. Sirius the prankster. Sirius the Murderer. Sirius who was
innocent. Sirius Her Ex Fiancee. Sirius who had once meant everything in the world
to her. She had tried so hard to forget him, but that hadn't worked. Then she tried to
come to terms with him, and what he did, but that hadn't worked either. She once got
pushed into seeing a shrink by her boss, but she couldn't explain everything. Come on, the
Shrink knows nothing about what once was in her life, her being a witch, about Hogwarts,
about Voldemort, about Azkaban So after one visit, she never came back. Finally, she
just gave in. No matter how much she protested, no matter how much she told herself
she wasn't, no matter how much she wanted to BELIEVE she wasn't, she was. She was
completely, and totally in love with him.
I was so sure
That where we were heading
Was right
That was the hardest thing for her. Because, he had murdered her best friends. Torn her
apart. Ruined her life. But, she guessed, he had been too much a part of her life, to just
forget.
Sirius walked in. She smiled slightly up at him.
"Uh Dan Can we talk for a second?"
Dan put down her newspaper, puzzled.
"Sirius I believe you You don't have to tell me again truly."
"No, it it isn't about that."
"Oh Alright then "
Sirius sat down across from her. His eyes looked sunken and dead. He looked really
nervous, almost sick.
"Uh Dan 13 years ago I was planning on marrying you. But then, unfortunately ,
( he said with a self mocking smile ) I got put in Azkaban."
Dani had no idea where he was going with this.
"And well I mean, I'm sure you don't want to but maybe, I just, well, thought I
would ask, and, I was just thinking and uh Oh, hell. Do you maybe when my name
is cleared uh maybe Wanttomarryme?"
Dan gaped. This was not the Sirius she knew. The Sirius she knew was confident, was
happy, was sure of himself, and everything he did.
"Uh "
Sirius nodded.
"I thought so. I just Thought I'd ask .. You know."
"I didn't answer."
Sirius looked up from his lap.
"Sirius I don't know. I just don't know. I mean You have to understand it from my
point of view. For the last thirteen years, I have been living alone, friendless, my life had
no point. And oh, Sirius, how I missed you. But I was alone. All alone."
"That was NOT my fault." Sirius said, his eyes blazing.
"I never said it was. But, whoever's fault it was, it doesn't matter anymore. I was alone. I
was scared. I needed you. And you weren't there. Those are the facts. And, well Every
night, I dreamed that you would come back And that we would get married, and you
would be innocent, and and I had so many fantasies about you."
Sirius grinned, the fire gone from his eyes.
"Care to elaborate?" He said, with a ghost of the Sirius I once knew.
"No I'm not done. Well now that you are here, and you are innocent It's a bit
overwhelming. That's why I couldn't believe it."
Life was a road
So certain and straight
And unbending
"And well It's sort of hard to deal with. And too much has happened. I have had to
deal with too much. Sirius Do you have any idea what I have gone through?"
"Oh and I suppose I just sat on a beach did I?' Sirius said, quietly.
"I never said that. But me alone, friendless See, with you, you didn't have a choice.
You were locked up. For me, I did have a choice to communicate But I also didn't
have a choice. It would bring back a life I didn't want to remember. And now you are
here, sitting right in front of me and I just can't seem to deal with the concept
of being able to just, pick up where we " She began to cry softly. "Where we left off
It's Oh God, Sirius It isn't that easy."
"I never said it would be But it might be worth a try."
"Oh Sirius You aren't the person I used to know anymore. You aren't the Sirius I knew.
Not at all."
"What are you saying?" He said, dangerously.
" All I am saying, is that Maybe Maybe it wouldn't work. You were so fun loving, and
not serious, and oh, you and I complemented each other perfectly. But now
Azkaban " She trailed off.
"Look at my eyes. You see that? There is nothing. Nothing. All that is left is blank
ness. If people only saw my eyes, they would think I was dead. You know it, and I know it.
Everyday, in that blasted cell in the middle of no where, you know what I thought of ? I
thought of you. And James. Do you know how hard it is for me? Do you CAN you
even begin to understand ? I'm alone. Alone. I'm destined for a life, where I am completely
alone. I can't go out. I can't marry. I can't do anything. Do you understand that ? I need
my name cleared. And even then When it is cleared. What do you think is going to
happen ? how many people do you think are going to believe ? They have thought, for 15
years almost, that I was a murderer. A traitor. The person who sold the Potters to
Voldemort. And if you marry me I guess it would appear that I can't be all that
bad."
Our little road
With never a crossroad in sight
"Is that all you want ?" She hissed . "The protection of my name ???"
"No. Dani, I love you so much. I don't know what it is going to take to make you see that. I
don't know what. But If you won't have me, there is nothing I can do. Nothing."
"Sirius I love you too. Don't you see that ? But You can't just expect me to cry
wildly, and fall into you're arms and tell you that Everything will be all right and
we'll just pick up where we left off "
But she was crying now.
Sirius grabbed her in a hug, and just held her there. Happy for the moment, with what he
had.
~ Three Months Later ~
Sirius sat at the table in his room in Hogwarts. Dumbledore had given himself and Dan
an apartment hidden in Hogwarts. It was unplottable, as you could enchant some things
to be. Dumbledore was working on his case secretly, searching through Pettigrew's old
things in order to find something. Something . Anything. So far, no luck. He held a cup
of coffee in his hands. He looked at his wife, Daniella. He thought of a song he heard on
Dumbledore's muggle radio.
Sleep in our eyes
Her and me
At the breakfast table
Watching the clock
As the precious time goes by
I watch her go
With a surge of that well known sorrow
And I have to sit for a while
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feelings in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
He sighed. Dani looked puzzled, and she looked up.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just realized something."
"What?"
"That I really take everything for granted. I took James for granted. I thought he would
always be there. But he wasn't. I thought you would always be there. I thought the 6 of
us would always be together. You, me, Lily, James, Peter, Remus. And look what's become
of us what's become of us "
Back in the days
When we spoke in civilized voices
Woman in white
Dani didn't know what to do with herself. Or with Sirius. The Sirius she had known and
loved was different. He had been fun loving confident out going but Azkaban
had changed him. And not for the better. Now She still loved him. She had to. She
wouldn't have gotten married to him if she didn't. But She patted her belly. Slightly
swollen. She was expecting a child in 7 months time. Sirius constantly seemed
preoccupied but now, it was even more so. It was January. A year after Harry's
'incident' with the Goblet of fire. Voldemort was on the rise. He was getting a foot hold,
and everyone knew it. There was magical anarchy, as one half of the Ministry was working
tirelessly against Voldemort, while the other half sat back on their haunches and
refused to believe that Voldemort had risen again. Still.
And sturdy young men at the oar
Back in the days
When I let you make all my choices
We can never go back to before
Everyday, the world heard news of new people who had died. New people who were missing.
New people who were tortured, who were caught. And the Dark Mark was constantly up in
the sky. But still, many people sided with Fudge. The works of the Death Eaters. The work
of random lunatics who believed that they were working for Voldemort. But it wasn't
Voldemort. Dumbledore was furious. No he was irate. That day, he made a speech in
the hall over breakfast.
"Last night, we lost another of our students. Colin Creevey."
A murmur spread across the hall. People's faces turned white. Daniella could see, from
her position at the Staff Table, Harry put his head in his hands. Many people were crying.
Even Snape looked remorseful.
"I do not know how you can ignore the fact that Lord Voldemort has indeed risen again.
That is the second student taken from our midst. We have lost many others, some
muggles, some wizards, who were part of our community. No doubt, it is part of some
masterwork plan. The Ministry, well, what is left of it, is appalled that I have been giving
you weekly updates. They refuse to believe that he was risen again. Therefore, everyday,
he is gaining power. Everyday "
Daniella looked at the dog at her feet. It bit her on the foot, nodding towards their
rooms. Daniella whispered a good bye.
"I have to get to class. I will see you after.'
She was teaching Defense Against The Dark Arts. After all, Mad Eye Moody was
currently not leaving his house, after a ten month imprisonment in his own trunk.
Daniella had known from even last year, during Harry's fourth year, that something like
this would happen. Harry's scar hurt then Death Eaters were marching And then
the Dark Mark was up in the sky. She didn't find out about the scar hurting until later
though. She was scared, beyond belief. Voldemort had risen in their 6th year, at the end.
And it was looking as it had all those years ago. Her happiest time was from the first
year at Hogwarts, until then. Everyone was so carefree, and fun, and unworried. But then
Everything changed. But not Sirius. He was still the fun loving guy that he always
was. Dani found herself in love with him, even more than ever. But now She could never
go back to before.
There was a time
My feet were so solidly planted
You'd sail away
While I had my back to the sea
She had loved Sirius so much, it was like a dull constant ache. Everytime he would turn
around, at date someone else, not seeing what was in front of him, she would sit. And
wait for him. But she couldn't bear to look. Finally he 'noticed' her. Finally. And she
had been so absorbed by him, that, in fourth year, when he asked her out, she almost
said no. She learned that he was one of the most fun loving, happy people she had ever
met. She could never understand why the Slytherins hated him so much. He had more
charm than should be allotted to one man. Her and Lily, James and Sirius. Both Sirius
and James proposed to them, and they were planning on being married on the same day.
But then, Sirius and Dani decided to hold off for a bit, and Lily and James got married.
Then they had a kid. Dani and Sirius still decided to wait. A year later, they were
planning. The same year, Lily and James died, and Sirius got sent to Azkaban, and
nothing would every be the same. Ever.
~*~
When she got to class, people were bombarding her with questions.
"Do you know if Colin's brother died ?"
"What's going on ???"
"Will Dumbledore protect us?"
"We are all going to die !"
" Will you SHUT UP!"
Daniella raised her hands. Everything quieted down.
"Now listen to me. I have not been told anything about Colin Creevey's unfortunate
death. I am not able to answer any questions at this time, aside from that Dumbledore
will do everything in his power to protect you, and No, we are not all going to die. I
survived Voldemort's last reign, I am living proof that we did not all die. And neither will
you. Now We have to get back to our studies. As you know, last year, Mad Eye Moody
taught you how to fight the Unforgivables. In this new term, we will be learning how to do
them. I have been instructed by Dumbledore to teach you, just as I was taught all those
years ago. Now please pull out your text books, and look over the incantations, and we
will do some hands on practice in a minute. Harry you told me something was wrong
with your text book. Will you please come up here?"
Harry picked up his text book, not exactly remembering that he had said anything was
wrong but oh well.
"Hello Harry. Are you alright?" Said Professor Milano, under the context of examining his
text book.
"Fine."
"I have a question to ask you. Does Sirius normally become stressed and,
distracted and oh, I don't know under pressure?"
"Uh I am guessing so. But Why ?"
"Well, he is acting weird. And Oh, Harry I feel so awful "
"Why?"
"Because I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore."
"Excuse me?"
"I don't know Oh my Harry, I'm telling you this, for some reason 13 years ago, he
was different. He was fun loving, was happy, and now he's cynical, worried "
"He did go to Azkaban, you know."
Harry had a bit of an icy tone to his voice.
"Oh Harry, please don't get mad at me."
"I'm not I just think that Well, Sirius has had a lot of pain in his life, and I doubt he
would like that."
'I just Harry I just , am finding it hard to just pick up, and continue on where we
left off."
The fire in Harry's eyes died.
"I understand. Are you going to tell Sirius ?"
"I don't know, Harry. I just don't know."
I was content
A princess asleep and enchanted
If I had dreams
Then I let you dream them for me
"Uh Sirius Can I talk to you for a second ?"
"Sure "
"Well, Sirius 13 years ago, I was in love with you. 13 years ago. And I was always
thinking about you. And, I guess, I thought I was still in love with you. But I'm not
anymore. And Oh, I don't know. Sirius do you understand ? I have been hurt too
much by you."
"Excuse me ? I HURT you ? I was thrown into Azkaban, when I was innocent, and you are
accusing me of HURTING you ???"
"Sirius, I was alone in Boston for 13 years. 13 years. Because I was too afraid of being
hurt again, I wouldn't let myself. And, yes, you did hurt me."
Back in the days
When everything seemed
So much clearer
Sirius stood up above her.
"No, you listen to me now. I thought of you every day for years, and you accuse me of
hurting you ? You marry me, and then tell me that
"Oh, sorry, I'm not in love with you? Hope you don't mind !' no, Dani. Things don't work like
that. If you didn't love me, why didn't you tell me ? I mean Just Grow UP ! So
are you just going to spring this on me now? When you are PREGNANT ? I mean "
He turned around and grabbed his hair in frustration.
Women in white
Who knew what their lives had in store
Where are they now
Those women who stare from the mirror
We can never go back to before
"Don't you get it Sirius ? I love you ! But not like that. Not anymore. Not anymore. I
guess I thought I did. I wanted to so much. And oh Don't you understand ? Am I
just supposed to pick it up ? Just, fall in love with you again ? Life isn't that easy. Life is
struggle. Accept it. Heaven is paradise. James is there. In heaven. He isn't struggling
anymore. You will get there one day. But now, you are on earth. And you have to learn to
deal with it. "
There are people out there
Unafraid of tomorrow
Unafraid to be weak
Unafraid to be strong
"I used to be scared, scared of you. Can you believe it ? Scared of the person I was in love
with ? And oh Everytime you went out with someone else, I would sit here, and look
at you, hope for the day you would finally glance in my direction, finally notice what was
in front of you. But you didn't. I waited for 3 years. 3 years for you. And then, finally, you
did. Doubtless, you were just trying to I don't know. And, I would like to think that you
fell in love with me along the way. You were the one for me. You were my soul mate. And
you always will be."
There was a time
When you were the person in motion
I was your wife
It never occurred to want more
"If I'm your soul mate, then why the bloody hell don't you love me?"
"Because !" She yelled right back.
"WHY?"
"I don't know ! Do you understand ? I DON"T KNOW ! But, you know what? That's the way
it is. Accept it. Sirius, you were always my comfort. And, aside from Remus, you are all I
have left in the world. I am not going to let something like that go completely. You are
still one of my best friends. You and Remus. And DO you want a marriage without a
person you can't live without?"
You were my sky
My moon and my stars
And my ocean
"I can't live without you " He said, through his fingers.
"Yes you can."
"Oh, come on Dan. You know I can't."
"And you know That I just can't go back It isn't that easy And your name will
be cleared And you can get on with your life Sirius You're the best friend I have
left in the world "
But Sirius wasn't listening.
"No, Dani. I won't accept it. You and James were the most important things in my life.
And James is gone. That leaves you. And you are just about to to walk out, and leave
me alone. Fine. If that's what you want to do, do it. I can't stop you. But understand
this. I love you. I always have, I always will. But, if you leave that door, don't bother
coming back."
We can never go back to before
We can never go back
To before
( DUH DUH DUH : WHAT WILL DANI CHOOSE ? Sirius or happiness ? Tune in next
time ! PLEASE REVIEW ! )
Disclaimer : Every HP thing you recognize belongs to JK Rowling. The main song
belongs to RAGTIME the musical. The
song "Slipping Through My Fingers" Belongs to ABBA
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Please read the Authors Note. You need to read for the story to make sense !!!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Authors Note : This is the sequel to Memories Can Kill.
The 1ST CHAPTER : MEMORIES CAN KILL is about Sirius in Azkaban. He reminisces
about the life that was, James, and Daniella, his Ex Fianc‚e.
The 2nd CHAPTER : ON MY OWN is about Daniella, living alone in Boston, from her
point of view of what happened so long ago, and her love for Sirius is it still there
? At the end, she discovers that Sirius has broken out of Azkaban.
The 3RD CHAPTER : REUNION is about Daniella coming back to the life she had run
away from 13 years ago She meets Sirius again, and refuses to believe that he is
innocent. Finally, she does, but only after they talk.
The 4TH CHAPTER : LOOKING BACK is about what complled her to leave. It is just
reflections.
THE 5TH CHAPTER IS CONTINUING FROM CHAPTER 3, WHERE THEY MEET AGAIN.
AND NOW! WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! THE STORY!
There was a time
Our happiness seemed never ending
Dani sat in her office, reading a newspaper. She couldn't really understand what had
happened in the past few days, it was all a blur to her now. After 13 long years, she was
home. She was with Remus, her best friend And For some unknown cause, Sirius
had come back into her life. Sirius the prankster. Sirius the Murderer. Sirius who was
innocent. Sirius Her Ex Fiancee. Sirius who had once meant everything in the world
to her. She had tried so hard to forget him, but that hadn't worked. Then she tried to
come to terms with him, and what he did, but that hadn't worked either. She once got
pushed into seeing a shrink by her boss, but she couldn't explain everything. Come on, the
Shrink knows nothing about what once was in her life, her being a witch, about Hogwarts,
about Voldemort, about Azkaban So after one visit, she never came back. Finally, she
just gave in. No matter how much she protested, no matter how much she told herself
she wasn't, no matter how much she wanted to BELIEVE she wasn't, she was. She was
completely, and totally in love with him.
I was so sure
That where we were heading
Was right
That was the hardest thing for her. Because, he had murdered her best friends. Torn her
apart. Ruined her life. But, she guessed, he had been too much a part of her life, to just
forget.
Sirius walked in. She smiled slightly up at him.
"Uh Dan Can we talk for a second?"
Dan put down her newspaper, puzzled.
"Sirius I believe you You don't have to tell me again truly."
"No, it it isn't about that."
"Oh Alright then "
Sirius sat down across from her. His eyes looked sunken and dead. He looked really
nervous, almost sick.
"Uh Dan 13 years ago I was planning on marrying you. But then, unfortunately ,
( he said with a self mocking smile ) I got put in Azkaban."
Dani had no idea where he was going with this.
"And well I mean, I'm sure you don't want to but maybe, I just, well, thought I
would ask, and, I was just thinking and uh Oh, hell. Do you maybe when my name
is cleared uh maybe Wanttomarryme?"
Dan gaped. This was not the Sirius she knew. The Sirius she knew was confident, was
happy, was sure of himself, and everything he did.
"Uh "
Sirius nodded.
"I thought so. I just Thought I'd ask .. You know."
"I didn't answer."
Sirius looked up from his lap.
"Sirius I don't know. I just don't know. I mean You have to understand it from my
point of view. For the last thirteen years, I have been living alone, friendless, my life had
no point. And oh, Sirius, how I missed you. But I was alone. All alone."
"That was NOT my fault." Sirius said, his eyes blazing.
"I never said it was. But, whoever's fault it was, it doesn't matter anymore. I was alone. I
was scared. I needed you. And you weren't there. Those are the facts. And, well Every
night, I dreamed that you would come back And that we would get married, and you
would be innocent, and and I had so many fantasies about you."
Sirius grinned, the fire gone from his eyes.
"Care to elaborate?" He said, with a ghost of the Sirius I once knew.
"No I'm not done. Well now that you are here, and you are innocent It's a bit
overwhelming. That's why I couldn't believe it."
Life was a road
So certain and straight
And unbending
"And well It's sort of hard to deal with. And too much has happened. I have had to
deal with too much. Sirius Do you have any idea what I have gone through?"
"Oh and I suppose I just sat on a beach did I?' Sirius said, quietly.
"I never said that. But me alone, friendless See, with you, you didn't have a choice.
You were locked up. For me, I did have a choice to communicate But I also didn't
have a choice. It would bring back a life I didn't want to remember. And now you are
here, sitting right in front of me and I just can't seem to deal with the concept
of being able to just, pick up where we " She began to cry softly. "Where we left off
It's Oh God, Sirius It isn't that easy."
"I never said it would be But it might be worth a try."
"Oh Sirius You aren't the person I used to know anymore. You aren't the Sirius I knew.
Not at all."
"What are you saying?" He said, dangerously.
" All I am saying, is that Maybe Maybe it wouldn't work. You were so fun loving, and
not serious, and oh, you and I complemented each other perfectly. But now
Azkaban " She trailed off.
"Look at my eyes. You see that? There is nothing. Nothing. All that is left is blank
ness. If people only saw my eyes, they would think I was dead. You know it, and I know it.
Everyday, in that blasted cell in the middle of no where, you know what I thought of ? I
thought of you. And James. Do you know how hard it is for me? Do you CAN you
even begin to understand ? I'm alone. Alone. I'm destined for a life, where I am completely
alone. I can't go out. I can't marry. I can't do anything. Do you understand that ? I need
my name cleared. And even then When it is cleared. What do you think is going to
happen ? how many people do you think are going to believe ? They have thought, for 15
years almost, that I was a murderer. A traitor. The person who sold the Potters to
Voldemort. And if you marry me I guess it would appear that I can't be all that
bad."
Our little road
With never a crossroad in sight
"Is that all you want ?" She hissed . "The protection of my name ???"
"No. Dani, I love you so much. I don't know what it is going to take to make you see that. I
don't know what. But If you won't have me, there is nothing I can do. Nothing."
"Sirius I love you too. Don't you see that ? But You can't just expect me to cry
wildly, and fall into you're arms and tell you that Everything will be all right and
we'll just pick up where we left off "
But she was crying now.
Sirius grabbed her in a hug, and just held her there. Happy for the moment, with what he
had.
~ Three Months Later ~
Sirius sat at the table in his room in Hogwarts. Dumbledore had given himself and Dan
an apartment hidden in Hogwarts. It was unplottable, as you could enchant some things
to be. Dumbledore was working on his case secretly, searching through Pettigrew's old
things in order to find something. Something . Anything. So far, no luck. He held a cup
of coffee in his hands. He looked at his wife, Daniella. He thought of a song he heard on
Dumbledore's muggle radio.
Sleep in our eyes
Her and me
At the breakfast table
Watching the clock
As the precious time goes by
I watch her go
With a surge of that well known sorrow
And I have to sit for a while
Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feelings in it
Slipping through my fingers all the time
He sighed. Dani looked puzzled, and she looked up.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing. I just realized something."
"What?"
"That I really take everything for granted. I took James for granted. I thought he would
always be there. But he wasn't. I thought you would always be there. I thought the 6 of
us would always be together. You, me, Lily, James, Peter, Remus. And look what's become
of us what's become of us "
Back in the days
When we spoke in civilized voices
Woman in white
Dani didn't know what to do with herself. Or with Sirius. The Sirius she had known and
loved was different. He had been fun loving confident out going but Azkaban
had changed him. And not for the better. Now She still loved him. She had to. She
wouldn't have gotten married to him if she didn't. But She patted her belly. Slightly
swollen. She was expecting a child in 7 months time. Sirius constantly seemed
preoccupied but now, it was even more so. It was January. A year after Harry's
'incident' with the Goblet of fire. Voldemort was on the rise. He was getting a foot hold,
and everyone knew it. There was magical anarchy, as one half of the Ministry was working
tirelessly against Voldemort, while the other half sat back on their haunches and
refused to believe that Voldemort had risen again. Still.
And sturdy young men at the oar
Back in the days
When I let you make all my choices
We can never go back to before
Everyday, the world heard news of new people who had died. New people who were missing.
New people who were tortured, who were caught. And the Dark Mark was constantly up in
the sky. But still, many people sided with Fudge. The works of the Death Eaters. The work
of random lunatics who believed that they were working for Voldemort. But it wasn't
Voldemort. Dumbledore was furious. No he was irate. That day, he made a speech in
the hall over breakfast.
"Last night, we lost another of our students. Colin Creevey."
A murmur spread across the hall. People's faces turned white. Daniella could see, from
her position at the Staff Table, Harry put his head in his hands. Many people were crying.
Even Snape looked remorseful.
"I do not know how you can ignore the fact that Lord Voldemort has indeed risen again.
That is the second student taken from our midst. We have lost many others, some
muggles, some wizards, who were part of our community. No doubt, it is part of some
masterwork plan. The Ministry, well, what is left of it, is appalled that I have been giving
you weekly updates. They refuse to believe that he was risen again. Therefore, everyday,
he is gaining power. Everyday "
Daniella looked at the dog at her feet. It bit her on the foot, nodding towards their
rooms. Daniella whispered a good bye.
"I have to get to class. I will see you after.'
She was teaching Defense Against The Dark Arts. After all, Mad Eye Moody was
currently not leaving his house, after a ten month imprisonment in his own trunk.
Daniella had known from even last year, during Harry's fourth year, that something like
this would happen. Harry's scar hurt then Death Eaters were marching And then
the Dark Mark was up in the sky. She didn't find out about the scar hurting until later
though. She was scared, beyond belief. Voldemort had risen in their 6th year, at the end.
And it was looking as it had all those years ago. Her happiest time was from the first
year at Hogwarts, until then. Everyone was so carefree, and fun, and unworried. But then
Everything changed. But not Sirius. He was still the fun loving guy that he always
was. Dani found herself in love with him, even more than ever. But now She could never
go back to before.
There was a time
My feet were so solidly planted
You'd sail away
While I had my back to the sea
She had loved Sirius so much, it was like a dull constant ache. Everytime he would turn
around, at date someone else, not seeing what was in front of him, she would sit. And
wait for him. But she couldn't bear to look. Finally he 'noticed' her. Finally. And she
had been so absorbed by him, that, in fourth year, when he asked her out, she almost
said no. She learned that he was one of the most fun loving, happy people she had ever
met. She could never understand why the Slytherins hated him so much. He had more
charm than should be allotted to one man. Her and Lily, James and Sirius. Both Sirius
and James proposed to them, and they were planning on being married on the same day.
But then, Sirius and Dani decided to hold off for a bit, and Lily and James got married.
Then they had a kid. Dani and Sirius still decided to wait. A year later, they were
planning. The same year, Lily and James died, and Sirius got sent to Azkaban, and
nothing would every be the same. Ever.
~*~
When she got to class, people were bombarding her with questions.
"Do you know if Colin's brother died ?"
"What's going on ???"
"Will Dumbledore protect us?"
"We are all going to die !"
" Will you SHUT UP!"
Daniella raised her hands. Everything quieted down.
"Now listen to me. I have not been told anything about Colin Creevey's unfortunate
death. I am not able to answer any questions at this time, aside from that Dumbledore
will do everything in his power to protect you, and No, we are not all going to die. I
survived Voldemort's last reign, I am living proof that we did not all die. And neither will
you. Now We have to get back to our studies. As you know, last year, Mad Eye Moody
taught you how to fight the Unforgivables. In this new term, we will be learning how to do
them. I have been instructed by Dumbledore to teach you, just as I was taught all those
years ago. Now please pull out your text books, and look over the incantations, and we
will do some hands on practice in a minute. Harry you told me something was wrong
with your text book. Will you please come up here?"
Harry picked up his text book, not exactly remembering that he had said anything was
wrong but oh well.
"Hello Harry. Are you alright?" Said Professor Milano, under the context of examining his
text book.
"Fine."
"I have a question to ask you. Does Sirius normally become stressed and,
distracted and oh, I don't know under pressure?"
"Uh I am guessing so. But Why ?"
"Well, he is acting weird. And Oh, Harry I feel so awful "
"Why?"
"Because I don't know if I'm in love with him anymore."
"Excuse me?"
"I don't know Oh my Harry, I'm telling you this, for some reason 13 years ago, he
was different. He was fun loving, was happy, and now he's cynical, worried "
"He did go to Azkaban, you know."
Harry had a bit of an icy tone to his voice.
"Oh Harry, please don't get mad at me."
"I'm not I just think that Well, Sirius has had a lot of pain in his life, and I doubt he
would like that."
'I just Harry I just , am finding it hard to just pick up, and continue on where we
left off."
The fire in Harry's eyes died.
"I understand. Are you going to tell Sirius ?"
"I don't know, Harry. I just don't know."
I was content
A princess asleep and enchanted
If I had dreams
Then I let you dream them for me
"Uh Sirius Can I talk to you for a second ?"
"Sure "
"Well, Sirius 13 years ago, I was in love with you. 13 years ago. And I was always
thinking about you. And, I guess, I thought I was still in love with you. But I'm not
anymore. And Oh, I don't know. Sirius do you understand ? I have been hurt too
much by you."
"Excuse me ? I HURT you ? I was thrown into Azkaban, when I was innocent, and you are
accusing me of HURTING you ???"
"Sirius, I was alone in Boston for 13 years. 13 years. Because I was too afraid of being
hurt again, I wouldn't let myself. And, yes, you did hurt me."
Back in the days
When everything seemed
So much clearer
Sirius stood up above her.
"No, you listen to me now. I thought of you every day for years, and you accuse me of
hurting you ? You marry me, and then tell me that
"Oh, sorry, I'm not in love with you? Hope you don't mind !' no, Dani. Things don't work like
that. If you didn't love me, why didn't you tell me ? I mean Just Grow UP ! So
are you just going to spring this on me now? When you are PREGNANT ? I mean "
He turned around and grabbed his hair in frustration.
Women in white
Who knew what their lives had in store
Where are they now
Those women who stare from the mirror
We can never go back to before
"Don't you get it Sirius ? I love you ! But not like that. Not anymore. Not anymore. I
guess I thought I did. I wanted to so much. And oh Don't you understand ? Am I
just supposed to pick it up ? Just, fall in love with you again ? Life isn't that easy. Life is
struggle. Accept it. Heaven is paradise. James is there. In heaven. He isn't struggling
anymore. You will get there one day. But now, you are on earth. And you have to learn to
deal with it. "
There are people out there
Unafraid of tomorrow
Unafraid to be weak
Unafraid to be strong
"I used to be scared, scared of you. Can you believe it ? Scared of the person I was in love
with ? And oh Everytime you went out with someone else, I would sit here, and look
at you, hope for the day you would finally glance in my direction, finally notice what was
in front of you. But you didn't. I waited for 3 years. 3 years for you. And then, finally, you
did. Doubtless, you were just trying to I don't know. And, I would like to think that you
fell in love with me along the way. You were the one for me. You were my soul mate. And
you always will be."
There was a time
When you were the person in motion
I was your wife
It never occurred to want more
"If I'm your soul mate, then why the bloody hell don't you love me?"
"Because !" She yelled right back.
"WHY?"
"I don't know ! Do you understand ? I DON"T KNOW ! But, you know what? That's the way
it is. Accept it. Sirius, you were always my comfort. And, aside from Remus, you are all I
have left in the world. I am not going to let something like that go completely. You are
still one of my best friends. You and Remus. And DO you want a marriage without a
person you can't live without?"
You were my sky
My moon and my stars
And my ocean
"I can't live without you " He said, through his fingers.
"Yes you can."
"Oh, come on Dan. You know I can't."
"And you know That I just can't go back It isn't that easy And your name will
be cleared And you can get on with your life Sirius You're the best friend I have
left in the world "
But Sirius wasn't listening.
"No, Dani. I won't accept it. You and James were the most important things in my life.
And James is gone. That leaves you. And you are just about to to walk out, and leave
me alone. Fine. If that's what you want to do, do it. I can't stop you. But understand
this. I love you. I always have, I always will. But, if you leave that door, don't bother
coming back."
We can never go back to before
We can never go back
To before
( DUH DUH DUH : WHAT WILL DANI CHOOSE ? Sirius or happiness ? Tune in next
time ! PLEASE REVIEW ! )
