Chapter 6

All eyes are on us as we walk into the Great Hall. Harry and I seem to have caused quite a stir. It was only a few short hours ago, but word travels like wildfire through this school. Evil glares follow us and I just want it to stop. I never intended for this to happen. I never intended to hurt Hermione or Harry. I seem to have succeeded in both.

We just went for a walk. He was very upset about the whole situation and I thought it would help. What was I thinking? I have had a huge crush on him for so long that it blinded me. I saw the opportunity. It was staring me in the face. You don't get a chance like that every day. You don't get the chance to kiss your crush every day.

I took the chance. I touched my lips to his. He didn't stop me. He didn't push me away. In fact, he didn't touch me at all. His mind was at war with itself. He wanted to kiss me, but he didn't want to kiss me at the same time. I guess in all my hormonal rush, I also taught him a lesson. He can have feelings for another girl. And yes, that girl can be me.

He ran after her though. She saw us and ran and he chased her. I can understand that. Who would want to be caught in this situation? But it was to no avail. He didn't get to talk to her last night. She shut him out. I gave him space. I saw him run and I ran too. I ran the other way. I was angry at myself. But worst of all, I was hurt. I know I had no reason to be hurt. He is not my boyfriend, but it was like a knife in my heart. I knew that despite the fact I kissed him, he still wasn't mine.

I gave him his space. I went to my room and I went to sleep. I am ashamed of what I have done. We are like exiles now.

No one wants to talk to us now. We are the cheaters. We are not to be trusted. Even Ron is pissed. I am sure we will figure this out. I am sure this will be fine. I just have to keep saying that to myself.

****Hermione****

We walk down the hall still keeping our distance. No one will see the trouble inside. No one will see the trouble inside either one of us. I know Draco is upset too. He isn't talking about it, but I know he will if he needs to.

So we sit at the table. I munch on small pieces of toast and bacon. Draco eats less than I do. He constantly looks over at me. I don't want his pity, but then again it feels good to have someone be concerned about me.

They walk in. Everyone takes their eyes off us finally, only to turn their attention to them. The story seemed to have spread through the entire school already. I feel my cheeks burning. Tears are welling up. I will not cry. I will not cry.

"Be strong" someone whispers to me. I smile. This will not get me down. I am strong. I am. I just need to prove it to myself, and to everyone else. I turn to Draco.

"I think today I will be happy. I think today will be a great day" I say leaving him with a shocked look on his face. I'm starting to realize that I am learning from him. He teaches me to hold my head up high. No one has to know what I feel like inside unless I feel like letting them know. He has shown me how to be strong. He has shown me how to fight.

I put a stack of pancakes on our two plates. "Eat up. We need our strength for potions" I say with a smile on my face. He smiles back, but it soon fades. He is looking behind me. I turn only to have the smile wiped off my own face.

"I don't want to talk to you right now. I am enjoying breakfast right now. Please go back to your house table until you are ready for classes".

"Hermione please. . ." but I cut him off.

"I said go back to your house table. I do not feel like talking to you right now. But if you are looking for a friend to chat with I'm sure Lavender is free". I turn away from him. I will be strong. I will not falter. But I cannot be tempted to cry because he is standing there.

He looks extremely disappointed. I don't really care right now. He has no idea the pain he has caused me. Well, maybe he has an idea. But I still don't want to deal with him right now.

I go back to my breakfast. It's delicious as always. As soon as I finish Draco asks if I'm ready and we head back to the common room. I disappear into my room to gather my things for Potions taking a bit longer than usual. When I emerge there is a note on the floor.

'People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self centered. Forgive them anyway'.

That's it. That's all it says. In confusion I pick it up and take it along with me. Who knows where it came from? It's time for class anyway.

****Draco****

I wrote that note. She doesn't know. And I won't tell her. Not for a while at least. I know it confuses her, but she is bright. She will figure it out.

Potions should be a fun experience this year. We walk down to the dank dungeons together. "So this is what friends do huh?" I ask her as we walk down.

"Yeah, this is what it's like to be nice. I'm glad you finally figured it out" she smiles back. It's good to see her smile. She really isn't half bad looking. . .for a bushy haired know it all of course.

It feels good to be like this. It is nice to have someone care about you for who you are. . .not just for money. She doesn't like me for my name. It's the opposite. She hates my name. I know she is real with me. We really are friends. I can't believe it. But I'm not complaining either.

Snape is going to be interesting this year. I wonder how he will treat me. I'm not technically in Slytherin anymore, and I am no longer a Malfoy. Maybe it won't be as bad as I think.

We enter his classroom. He seems to have mellowed this year. No longer does he scream at us. Actually I think he is so disappointed that he doesn't say much to us at. He never had much confidence in us. Who cares? He's a bitter old man. Everyone just seems bitter nowadays.

Potter and Lavender come in together. It seems as though they are not too popular among the students. But give it a day. Everyone will move on to something else. It's just the way it goes.

"Ahh, Mr. Potter. The subject of all the talk around this school. Seems as though you are making your rounds with the girls. Here's a bit of advice. Break up with the previous girl before moving on. It avoids rumors and gossip. Which in turn makes me happier. The last thing I want to hear about is your romantic escapades". And with that he turned away. To tell you the truth Potter looked a little hurt. He is such a wimp. But that anger was back in his eye when I looked back. He doesn't have a right to be angry. That's not how it works.

Class is painfully long. It's a myth that this is my favorite class. I don't think this is anyone's favorite class. And if it is, then that person has a problem. Of course as we walk out Harry catches up with us.

"Hermione, can I please talk to you". He's begging. It makes me sick. No self respecting person should be reduced to begging. And no man should make a girl cry. Unbelievable that I actually said that, I know. I must be growing up. Weird.

She looks at him. She is studying his face. She looks into those eyes and I know she won't be able to say no. "I do have a break. I was going to go to the library, but I suppose I could talk to you instead" she goes on. His face was priceless. He looked so shocked. His mouth gaped open.

"Oh. . .uh . . .great! Let's go to the common room" he spits out. He is tripping over small words at the mere excitement of talking to Hermione.

"Let's go to my common room. I don't want any interruptions when you are making your excuses" she replies coolly. He can tell. He knows he is getting the cold shoulder. But he is so damn pathetic that he will follow her around like a lost puppy for five minutes of her time.

They proceed to the common room. I follow. I only intend to stay in my room while this goes on. I want to make sure someone is there to pick up the pieces, if need be. I will be there for her. This friend thing is so easy. I love it.

****Hermione****

He wants to talk. . .fine we'll talk. I'll give him what he wants, and maybe he will leave me alone once and for all. We sit down on the couch and he looks trapped. This is my territory and I am going to tell him how it is.

"Hermione, I am sorry".

"Yeah I know. You are sorry. Don't say it again. I don't want to hear that".

"You need to know what happened. You need to hear the story Hermione. You need to listen to me". He's right and I know it. The last thing I want is a play by play of the events, but I guess it's what I need.

"Lavender knew I was upset. You were so distant from me. She took me on a walk. She got too close to me. I didn't see it coming I swear" he was trying to convince me.

"Harry, how did it make you feel?" I ask and he does a double take. "Tell me how she made you feel". This seemed to be the last thing he wanted to hear. It was the last thing he wanted to tell me.

He looks to the floor. "It wasn't you. She wasn't you. . .and. . ." he stopped.

"Say it Harry. Tell me what it was like".

"I liked it. It was different. Hermione, I don't want to hurt you. I'm so sorry".

"Harry, don't be sorry. Don't say sorry. You liked it. It's not me you want. . . .I love you Harry. I love you a lot. And I know you love me too. But maybe we are only meant to be friends. Maybe this was a wake-up call". Tears are streaming down my face at this point.

"I don't want this to be over. I love you. I want you to be the one" he says to me with tears in his eyes.

"I know. I want you to be the one too. But I don't think you are. And I don't want this to happen again. Maybe we will be together someday, but I don't think we are meant to be". I give him a hug and we hold each other for a long time. Finally he lets go.

"So what's the deal with you and Malfoy? How is he treating you?"

"It's fine Harry. We are doing okay. This year won't be as bad as I thought. Look, I'm sorry I put you through crap on the train and everything. I think you should go and be with Lavender. I think you like her. And I know she likes you". He looks at me with doubt in his eyes. "I'm serious Harry. Go be happy. This is how it should be". He gives me one last kiss. One last long and lingering kiss. Enough to melt my heart. I break it off. "You really need to go" I tell him. I am very sad right now, but at the same time I know this is right.

He turns and heads out the portrait hole. "Goodnight Hermione. You are still my best friend" he tells me as he leaves. I love that man. I love him. . .as a friend. I feel much better now. I think I have done the right thing.

Draco comes down the stairs. He sees me crying by the fire and comes to my rescue. My knight in shining armor.

"Are you okay?" he asked me. He is so cute with that concerned look on his face. No, stop. He is not cute. He is my friend. That's all there is to it.

"I think I feel better than you" I reply. Maybe he will let his guard down. Maybe not. I can only hope he will let me in.

****Draco****

"Tortured her". I put my head down. It's just going to come out. I can tell. I'm ready to talk. "My father tortured my mother". Her mouth is wide open in horror. She is so innocent and naïve. She grew up in a happy home. She has two parents that love each other. She doesn't know what it's like. This is an alien concept to her. She has no idea what to say.

"Don't say anything" I tell her. It's almost a relief to her. "He put her under a series of curses. He made me help him. He made me curse my own mother. She went insane. She was delusional. She no longer knew who I was. Every night I said goodnight. Every night I told her I loved her. But she didn't know who I was. She never said it back. That doesn't matter. If she did, she wouldn't have really meant it anyway".

I continue on. I don't want to stop. If I stop I will never start again. This needs to be said. "My dad was thrown in Azkaban. He went insane there. There was no one around. No dementors. Just him. He was alone. And his made him crazy. I went and saw him before he died. I saw him enough to curse him and leave. I let him die. He deserved it. He fucking deserved it!" I cried out. And then I stopped. There was no need to say anything more.

"Oh Draco" she cried to me. Tears seemed to be a permanent fixture on her face. She cried for me. She cried about what had happened to me. And then she held an arm out to me. She hugged me. She gave me a real hug. A hug with feeling. I felt her. She meant a lot to me suddenly. I don't know how this happen, but I wouldn't change it for the world.