Life with Seymour

AN: thanks for the reviews!!!

Seymour's Chambre

Seymour: welcome to my swingin' bachelor pad!

Ormi: -whispers to Logos- he sounds so suave

Logos: that's because there's no Hypello to torture

Leblanc: he's sooooooo cool I'm in love~

Logos: shall we start the interview?

Seymour: be my guest!

Leblanc: Tell me about yourself or great manly maester!

Seymour: well… I'm half Guado/Human. That caused me quite a terrible/traumatizing childhood… my father, lord Jyscal, Yevon rest his soul (not really) couldn't stand me and sent me and my mother to Baaj Temple… there she was possessed by the idea that if she died and turned into a large mutated three day old fish in chains, that would help me with my loneliness… but…

Leblanc: but?

Seymour: SHE GAVE ME THE CREEPS!!! How you'd be an crazy madman too if your mom turned into this -Summons Anima-

Anima: ROAR!!!

Leblanc: PEE U!!! that thing stinks!

Anima: GRRRR -Casts Pain-

Guado guard: -dies-

Leblanc: -sweat drop- uh… hi?

Anima: (in a mommy-ish voice) Hello and good day, are you friends with my son?

Leblanc: no, were basically using him so we can have a claim for his chateau when he dies!

Anima: …well…anyway, isn't it cute that little Seymour still sleeps with his little Bahamut footie PJ's!

Seymour: er… -Dismisses Anima- uh… would you like some tea?!? ^-^;; -everybody goes into the dining room

Tromell: Lorrrrd Seymourrrr, the guest is herrrrre

Seymour: send in the clowns!

-Enter Baralai-

Seymour: I wasn't serious, Tromell…

Baralai: good afternoon lord Seymour -Yevon Hand Gesture-

Seymour: welcome, there looks like you have a pretty good reason to see me if you brought 5 hypello for my sadistic pleasure! (Tromell keels over holding a large bag)

Baralai: well I came to inform you that the Crimson Squad is no more, Master Kinoc betrayed us… and to add on to that, my friends betrayed me too, I have no idea who to turn too… -sniff sniff-

Seymour: then why do you turn to me, for I too am a Maester of Yevon.

Baralai: I don't need a ally, I just need a shoulder to cry on, and a band-aid, I just got shot in the back by my friend, however my emotional scar is bigger than the physical one…-breaks down, crying-

Seymour: boo hoo, I have my own sob story too you know, and you don't see ME crying!

Anima: I beg to differ…

Seymour: piss off, mother

Anima: pissing off, son (mother ALWAYS gets her revenge~)

Seymour: my advice, grow some balls, get laid, and take two of these (hands Baralai a bag of "pills") and call me in the morning!

Baralai: -sob- you're the best Milord! -Yevon Hang Gesture and goes away-

Leblanc: wow… he has issues…

Logos: like you don't, boss…

Leblanc: huh? I'm the defender of love, men bow before me! Plus I also embody perfection!

Ormi: so I guess Nooj isn't a man?

Leblanc: hmm?

Tromell: Lord Seymour, the Shoopuf carrrrrring Lady Yuna has arrrrived, shall I make preparations for my lords futurrre wife?

Seymour: yes tee hee hee… but after that, I must kill the Hypello!!!

-Seymour presses the hidden passageway to the interior of the Chateau which leads to a Specialize Hypello Torture Chamber, not chamBRE, chambER-

A/N ok, Seymour tortured the hypello… I'm not going to put what I ORIGINALLY had because FF.net doesn't allow NC-17 material… just to let you know how bad it was, lets say that Leblanc, Ormi and Logos needed to seek therapy after that session. Tromell doesn't because he seen it ALL before and was only surprised when Seymour decided to castrate the Hypello…

Seymour: MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! NOTHING CAN SHAVE YOU NOW!!! OoOoOoOoOo that just gave me an idea! -Skins Hypello with shaving razor- MWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Tromell: -Yawn- Lady Yuna is here

Seymour: buy some time, I must wash my pretty hands!

Leblanc: I NEVER want to go in there AGAIN!!! -cries hysterically-

Logos: MOMMY!!!

Ormi: MOO!!!

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As for what happened in Seymour's torture chamber, ill leave that up to your imagination to find out what happened…

Stay tuned for more Hypello torturing and Lady Yunalesbo!!! Woo hoo!!!