Life with Seymour
AN: Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate it when people review, flames are also accepted cause I need something to burn and torture the Hypello Slaves I have in my basement… enough said… on with the show!
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Torture Chamber in Seymour's Cheatau
(Leblanc walks up to the door and listens to the screams coming from within because she's nosey)
Seymour: HARDER!!! (whip) HARDER!!!
Logos and Ormi: ugh!!! Yes boss!
Hypello: oh!!!
Seymour: FASTER!!! (whip) FASTER!!!
Ormi: Logos, he's too hard!!!
Logos: I can't take it any more!!!
Seymour: HARDER!!! BEFORE I HAVE TO BREAK OUT THE HANDCUFFS!!!
Hypello: shtop!!!
Leblanc: (thinks of the worse possible thing) oh Yevon (faints and the door opens)
Hypello: (on rack)
(Logos and Ormi: cranking the rack)
(Seymour: sitting on his throne with a loud speaker and whip)
(AN: they weren't doing what you think they were doing ;-)
Tromell: ( stepping over the unconscious Leblanc) The lady Yuna is here!
Seymour: (like a dog being called, this look is complete with the big watery eyes and tongue hanging stupidly from his mouth) YUNA??? Arf!!! Arf!!! ..-!!-;; I PEED MY PANTS!!! OH YEVON! THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS!!! LIKE THAT TIME, IN LUCA, I PISSED MY PANTS WHEN I SAW THOSE SCARY FIENDS BEFORE I FOUND OUT I SENT THEM OUT!!! Tee hee hee
Ormi: that's something a Maester should say
Seymour: (realizing what he said) uh… tee hee hee, pretend I didn't say it!
Ormi: huh?
Logos: (pokes Leblanc)
Leblanc: (mumbling) Nojie, don't touch me there… you know that turns me into a horny adolescent!!!
Logos: (sweat drops)
Seymour: Tromell, code 1442457894-667884.782, stall the guest while I change my pants!
Tromell: Stalling sir! (leaves)
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Seymour's Living room
Tidus: I'm bored, and I don't want to look at Seymour, so I'll just talk to everybody…
Yuna: What does he want with me?
Wakka: and they say I'M dense!
Kimarhi: Kimarhi no like Maester Seymour
Yuna: Say it loud enough, shhhh!
Kimarhi: Kimarhi shut up now.
Wakka: nothing 'gainst the Maester, but this place stinks!
Rikku: yum! This food is goooooood!!!
Auron: Stay on you guard
Tidus: The guy's a priest, what's he gonna do, molest us?
Auron: (looks at Yuna) I wouldn't be surprised if he tried…'people with power use it'
Tidus: riiight… lets see what Mrs. Know-it-all has to say…without my asking, mind you
Lulu: there is no temple in Guadosalam, so people come here to mainly go to the farplane or make fun of the Guado…
Tidus: if I want an explanation, ill ask Maechen…I didn't even ask and your explaining things!
Lulu: you rather I say nothing then? (glare) -Say something and you can say goodbye to your manhood-
Tidus: AHH!!!
Tromell: (looks at Rikku, whose stuffing her face in… "Stuff", mumbles) sucker… (louder) It is good to have guests again… these halls have been eerily silent since Lord Jyscal kicked the bucket…
Tidus: hey Wakka, was Jyscal so great?
Wakka: ya, he brought the teachings of Yevon to the Guado, he truly is a great man
Tromell: you don't know half of it, but don't fear Lord Seymour promises to bind the races of the Guado and humans together!
Seymour: that's enough, Tromell, must I always endure such praise?
Tromell: -leaves-
Yuna: -gasp- he is sooooo charming
Tidus: -rolls eyes-
Seymour: please my lady, take in my oh-so ogling body as I suavely show everybody a very nostalgic look into the past! ( its so hard to impress people with big words!)
Yuna: -taking in- oh!!! Its so pretty!!!
Tidoofus: yawn this is just a regular Saturday night in Zanarkand! I was ALL over the place
Auron: except you never go laid by a SINGLE girl -smirk-
Tidoofus: waaaaaaaaaa~
Lulu: Auron, you rule! (High-Five Auron) Rikku: This fruit tastes like $h!t!
Seymour: tee hee hee, you have no idea… this sphere is the collected recording of the thoughts of the dead that roam the Farplane
All: ooOOOOoo!
Seymour: She too lived in this Metropolis!
Yuna: she who?
Seymour: don't mind my evil glare as I say nothing until…
Yuna: Lady Yunalesbo?
Seymour: yessiree! Yunalesbo and lord Zaon lived here, and like her, you must form an unbreakable bond of love to defeat Sin, you know, someone hot, sexy and original… someone like…
Yuna: Justin Timberlake? (drolls)
All the guys: EW!!!
Seymour: Yevon no!
Yuna: Johnny Depp?
Seymour ^~^;; no, but your getting warmer!
Yuna: hmmm… Orlando Bloomers?
Seymour: -looking at his nails- NO!!!
Yuna: -giggle- barkeep, the hypello?
Seymour -twitch- HYPELLO?!? WHERE?!? -Randomly casts Firaga around the room and hits Yunalesbo-
Yunalesbo: you messed with the wrong bitch, bitch! -pulls out her big Medusa like 'thing'- RA!!!
Seymour: (presses the "power button" that makes Yunalesbo go away) well that's your foreshadowing for today… but…(Whispers into Yuna's ear) will you marry me?
Yuna: -twitch- HOLY YEVON I NEED A DRINK!
Rikku: you look beat red!
Yuna: he… asked… me… to…-pause-
Wakka: What? To what?
Yuna: to…
Rikku: oh goodie, a guessing game!
Lulu: me first! He asked you to dance?
Wakka: puh! that's corny Lu, he asked her to do a little striptease, right?
Seymour: -giggle-
Leblanc: -she was always there FYI- you dirty little man! -slaps Seymour-
Yuna: he asked me… to… marry him!?
Everybody: -GASP!-
Seymour: that's correct, I have the "urge to merge!" but right now… I want to… dance! -starts dancing-
Auron: lets make like a tree and leaf!
Ormi: who taught you that?
Logos: Professor Oak? *AN a little more Team Rocket Humor-
Auron: Spira isn't a play house!
Seymour: yes it is, and you ALL are my little puppets in my scheme of world domination, and besides, why are you still here?
Auron: -silence-
Seymour: er… forgive me… we guado are keen to the smell of the Farplane
Tidoofus: sniff, sniff, Pee you Auron, you need a bath!
Auron: Dumbass -pushes Tidus out of way-
(Party starts to leave)
Seymour: WAIT!!! I INVITE YOU TO WATCH MY OWN PERSONAL HYPELLO SLAVE CAN-CAN DANCERS/TORTURE OBJECTS!!!
(party leaves faster)
Seymour: aw man, its no fun torturing hypello without company…(stares at Leblanc, Ormi, Logos and Tromell) tee…hee…hee…
(The hypello start doing the Can-can)
Seymour: la la la la la la LA LA (casts Fira) lalalala la la la lalala (casts Blizzara)
Hypello: why cant thish shtop!!! Yevon have Merchy!
Ormi: There's have…to… be… laws against…ew…
Logos: the Brutality!
Leblanc: (in hopeless housewife voice) noojie! Where are you? I need you!
Ormi and logos: puke
_____________________________________________________________________________ Once again, thank you for the reviews…
in the next chapter: Seymour tells us if his sad, tragic past just in time for when our protagonists find Jyscal!
AN: Thanks for the reviews! I really appreciate it when people review, flames are also accepted cause I need something to burn and torture the Hypello Slaves I have in my basement… enough said… on with the show!
_____________________________________________________________________________________
Torture Chamber in Seymour's Cheatau
(Leblanc walks up to the door and listens to the screams coming from within because she's nosey)
Seymour: HARDER!!! (whip) HARDER!!!
Logos and Ormi: ugh!!! Yes boss!
Hypello: oh!!!
Seymour: FASTER!!! (whip) FASTER!!!
Ormi: Logos, he's too hard!!!
Logos: I can't take it any more!!!
Seymour: HARDER!!! BEFORE I HAVE TO BREAK OUT THE HANDCUFFS!!!
Hypello: shtop!!!
Leblanc: (thinks of the worse possible thing) oh Yevon (faints and the door opens)
Hypello: (on rack)
(Logos and Ormi: cranking the rack)
(Seymour: sitting on his throne with a loud speaker and whip)
(AN: they weren't doing what you think they were doing ;-)
Tromell: ( stepping over the unconscious Leblanc) The lady Yuna is here!
Seymour: (like a dog being called, this look is complete with the big watery eyes and tongue hanging stupidly from his mouth) YUNA??? Arf!!! Arf!!! ..-!!-;; I PEED MY PANTS!!! OH YEVON! THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS!!! LIKE THAT TIME, IN LUCA, I PISSED MY PANTS WHEN I SAW THOSE SCARY FIENDS BEFORE I FOUND OUT I SENT THEM OUT!!! Tee hee hee
Ormi: that's something a Maester should say
Seymour: (realizing what he said) uh… tee hee hee, pretend I didn't say it!
Ormi: huh?
Logos: (pokes Leblanc)
Leblanc: (mumbling) Nojie, don't touch me there… you know that turns me into a horny adolescent!!!
Logos: (sweat drops)
Seymour: Tromell, code 1442457894-667884.782, stall the guest while I change my pants!
Tromell: Stalling sir! (leaves)
_______________________________________________________________________________
Seymour's Living room
Tidus: I'm bored, and I don't want to look at Seymour, so I'll just talk to everybody…
Yuna: What does he want with me?
Wakka: and they say I'M dense!
Kimarhi: Kimarhi no like Maester Seymour
Yuna: Say it loud enough, shhhh!
Kimarhi: Kimarhi shut up now.
Wakka: nothing 'gainst the Maester, but this place stinks!
Rikku: yum! This food is goooooood!!!
Auron: Stay on you guard
Tidus: The guy's a priest, what's he gonna do, molest us?
Auron: (looks at Yuna) I wouldn't be surprised if he tried…'people with power use it'
Tidus: riiight… lets see what Mrs. Know-it-all has to say…without my asking, mind you
Lulu: there is no temple in Guadosalam, so people come here to mainly go to the farplane or make fun of the Guado…
Tidus: if I want an explanation, ill ask Maechen…I didn't even ask and your explaining things!
Lulu: you rather I say nothing then? (glare) -Say something and you can say goodbye to your manhood-
Tidus: AHH!!!
Tromell: (looks at Rikku, whose stuffing her face in… "Stuff", mumbles) sucker… (louder) It is good to have guests again… these halls have been eerily silent since Lord Jyscal kicked the bucket…
Tidus: hey Wakka, was Jyscal so great?
Wakka: ya, he brought the teachings of Yevon to the Guado, he truly is a great man
Tromell: you don't know half of it, but don't fear Lord Seymour promises to bind the races of the Guado and humans together!
Seymour: that's enough, Tromell, must I always endure such praise?
Tromell: -leaves-
Yuna: -gasp- he is sooooo charming
Tidus: -rolls eyes-
Seymour: please my lady, take in my oh-so ogling body as I suavely show everybody a very nostalgic look into the past! ( its so hard to impress people with big words!)
Yuna: -taking in- oh!!! Its so pretty!!!
Tidoofus: yawn this is just a regular Saturday night in Zanarkand! I was ALL over the place
Auron: except you never go laid by a SINGLE girl -smirk-
Tidoofus: waaaaaaaaaa~
Lulu: Auron, you rule! (High-Five Auron) Rikku: This fruit tastes like $h!t!
Seymour: tee hee hee, you have no idea… this sphere is the collected recording of the thoughts of the dead that roam the Farplane
All: ooOOOOoo!
Seymour: She too lived in this Metropolis!
Yuna: she who?
Seymour: don't mind my evil glare as I say nothing until…
Yuna: Lady Yunalesbo?
Seymour: yessiree! Yunalesbo and lord Zaon lived here, and like her, you must form an unbreakable bond of love to defeat Sin, you know, someone hot, sexy and original… someone like…
Yuna: Justin Timberlake? (drolls)
All the guys: EW!!!
Seymour: Yevon no!
Yuna: Johnny Depp?
Seymour ^~^;; no, but your getting warmer!
Yuna: hmmm… Orlando Bloomers?
Seymour: -looking at his nails- NO!!!
Yuna: -giggle- barkeep, the hypello?
Seymour -twitch- HYPELLO?!? WHERE?!? -Randomly casts Firaga around the room and hits Yunalesbo-
Yunalesbo: you messed with the wrong bitch, bitch! -pulls out her big Medusa like 'thing'- RA!!!
Seymour: (presses the "power button" that makes Yunalesbo go away) well that's your foreshadowing for today… but…(Whispers into Yuna's ear) will you marry me?
Yuna: -twitch- HOLY YEVON I NEED A DRINK!
Rikku: you look beat red!
Yuna: he… asked… me… to…-pause-
Wakka: What? To what?
Yuna: to…
Rikku: oh goodie, a guessing game!
Lulu: me first! He asked you to dance?
Wakka: puh! that's corny Lu, he asked her to do a little striptease, right?
Seymour: -giggle-
Leblanc: -she was always there FYI- you dirty little man! -slaps Seymour-
Yuna: he asked me… to… marry him!?
Everybody: -GASP!-
Seymour: that's correct, I have the "urge to merge!" but right now… I want to… dance! -starts dancing-
Auron: lets make like a tree and leaf!
Ormi: who taught you that?
Logos: Professor Oak? *AN a little more Team Rocket Humor-
Auron: Spira isn't a play house!
Seymour: yes it is, and you ALL are my little puppets in my scheme of world domination, and besides, why are you still here?
Auron: -silence-
Seymour: er… forgive me… we guado are keen to the smell of the Farplane
Tidoofus: sniff, sniff, Pee you Auron, you need a bath!
Auron: Dumbass -pushes Tidus out of way-
(Party starts to leave)
Seymour: WAIT!!! I INVITE YOU TO WATCH MY OWN PERSONAL HYPELLO SLAVE CAN-CAN DANCERS/TORTURE OBJECTS!!!
(party leaves faster)
Seymour: aw man, its no fun torturing hypello without company…(stares at Leblanc, Ormi, Logos and Tromell) tee…hee…hee…
(The hypello start doing the Can-can)
Seymour: la la la la la la LA LA (casts Fira) lalalala la la la lalala (casts Blizzara)
Hypello: why cant thish shtop!!! Yevon have Merchy!
Ormi: There's have…to… be… laws against…ew…
Logos: the Brutality!
Leblanc: (in hopeless housewife voice) noojie! Where are you? I need you!
Ormi and logos: puke
_____________________________________________________________________________ Once again, thank you for the reviews…
in the next chapter: Seymour tells us if his sad, tragic past just in time for when our protagonists find Jyscal!
