Chapter 13

I sit beside Hermione and I wonder, 'How could this have ever happened?'. It's all so surreal. After six years of hurting her, I guess I just can't stop. She's silent, cold, and distant. But that's to be expected. I desperately wish I could get through to her. I wish she knew how I felt, or what I was saying. I want so badly to tell her how sorry I am.

I hold onto her small hand all night. It's all I can do at this point. I know she can't hear me, but I carry on a conversation anyway. Sometime during the night I took her blanket off her own bed upstairs and brought it down for her. She looks more comfortable this way, even though she seems to have no reaction.

Quidditch has been cancelled today. One reason was the Gryffindor's keeper was being punished. The other reason: I refused to play. I will not leave Hermione's side. She needs me now more than ever. And I need her too.

The morning after everything happened I wake up in the chilly room. I am freezing under no blanket, and being curled up in my chair is not comfortable at all. I look over at her, and she is still in a deep sleep. She has made no changes, for the worse or better. My heart sinks. Deep down I had been hoping for a miraculous cure.

I scoot the chair closer to her bed. Her hand feels so cold and stiff in mine. It's not the warm soft hand I remember so well. I feel a pang of guilt. Looking on her makes my eyes burn. Tears are building up and soon they tumble to the floor, knocking down every wall I had built up around me. But there is no one here to make fun of me. I am safe here.

"I'm so sorry" I whisper to her. "I am so very very sorry. This wasn't supposed to happen". Then it occurs to me. If Weasley doesn't change then Hermione and I can't be together. Maybe I'm not worth it to her. Maybe I am not worthy after all.

A knife just stabbed my chest. Maybe I have to say goodbye to my stupid ideas of true love. I was fine before her. I didn't hurt like this. A voice inside me speaks up. 'Yeah I was fine, but since then, I have never been happier'. I should just be alone. She clouded my vision and now I feel nothing but pain. What's new?

I don't blame her for anything. I don't blame her for being the person she is and making me fall in love with her. This was my fault for believing it would be okay. I will take care of her until she is better . . . but then I am afraid I have to break her heart.

The slam of a door is heard behind me and I turn my head. No one is around. I am disappointed. Neither Potter or Weasley has been up here. I expected more from them. They never fail to disappoint me.

The minutes creep by. The silence around here is deafening. I never falter, and I never leave her side. I continue talking to her, and when I run out of things to say I just read her our homework. After what felt like weeks, the clock finally strikes nine. I know it's time to meet Weasley in the library. This should be fun.

****Ron****

I find a seat in the library and sit down to wait for Malfoy. He's late as usual. Just like a Malfoy, he has no respect for anyone. He strides in looking calm, but somber. He sits down in the seat across from me and looks me in the eye.

"Shall we begin?" he asks me. He is so nonchalant . . . arrogant prick.

"Whatever" I respond. Wow, that was so witty. My anger level is again reaching a dangerous level. I stand up and pull a book off the shelf and Malfoy follows suit. Scanning the index for the spell, I find nothing. Out of luck, I slam the book shut and grab another. This is going to take forever.

Four hours later we are still in the library. We have this seemingly unspoken rule about no talking, but it's almost enough to drive anyone mad.

"Why haven't you been up to see Hermione at all?" Malfoy asks shattering the wall of silence.

"I have" I respond. Okay, so maybe I hadn't, but how would he know?

"Liar" he accuses. "I think you should have a little more respect than to lie right through your teeth like that".

"How would you know?" I ask. He is always trying to push my buttons. He is nothing but an instigator.

"Well, I haven't left her side, which is exactly what you and Potter should want to do. But you haven't even come to see her at all".

"I came".

"Oh yeah, when?" he challenges.

"You didn't notice me. You were too busy crying your little eyes out" I snap at him. That blow hit him hard. That was way below the belt and I know it. I smile inwardly at the effect I have on him. His eyes narrow in anger. If looks could kill, I'd be dead.

"Hmm, proud of yourself aren't you? Maybe you should be crying too. Your best friend is unconscious in a hospital bed you know! Yeah, I cried. I feel guilty. It's my fault this happened. She should have never been hurt by me! And I am not ashamed to admit it!" he yells at me. His usually milky white skin is glowing red. I can feel the heat of his anger. I hate to admit when the ferret is right.

I lower my head and say nothing. That's one point Malfoy. Bring on the next book. We need to cure Hermione, and put a stop to this spending time with Malfoy crap.

Sadly, the night is over and no cure has been found. Malfoy remains in his seat, seemingly unaware of what time it is. He is half asleep while I retreat up to my bed. I guess Mione will just have to wait one more night.

****Draco****

That jerk just got up and left. Sure, our time is technically up, but doesn't he feel guilty? Doesn't he want to figure this out as soon as possible?

I remain in my seat with books scattered all around me. They are all open to various pages, but none to that key page that tells me what I need to know. I am determined to figure this out tonight.

I lay my head down for one second. I blink my eyes for just one second. My eyelids are heavy and it's hard to hold my head up. But I must continue. I must stay awake. Suddenly, I open my eyes. Sunlight is streaming in through the windows. I swear I only closed my eyes for a second. But the night is over. I fell asleep and I wasted my precious time.

Once upright, I wipe away the puddle of drool on the table in disgust. It's one more day Hermione is sick and one more day I must go through without her. Angrily, I slam the books shut that have piled up around me. Leaving them on the table I storm out. Classes are going to start soon, but I need to see Hermione first.

I step out into the corridor and head to the stairs. As I approach I see someone sitting on the steps. My feet carry me closer and the boy comes into focus. It must be my lucky day . . . it's the Weasel.

"What are you doing?" I ask with a laugh.

"Trick stair" he mumbles refusing to look me in the eye. It's easy to see he won't be asking for my help anytime soon. So I offer my hand instead. I know that this is out of my character, but I seem to be changing. I'm learning to swallow my pride. Weasley could do the same.

"No way. I don't need help from a ferret" he snaps back.

"Just take it".

"No".

"Do it". Reluctantly, he finally agrees. He grabs my hand and I hoist him out. He lets go as soon as he is free. Standing before me he looks around and mumbles a quick thanks under his breath. Quickly, he escapes my presence. I am really getting sick of this guy and his stupid pride.

Once I finally arrive at the hospital wing, a deep voice can be heard from inside. Potter can be seen sitting by Hermione's side, holding her hand and talking animatedly. My knuckles lightly tap on the door and he turns around to see who's there.

"Mind if I come in?"

"No, I was just getting ready to leave anyway" he replies while standing up from his bedside chair. "How was the library? Ron wouldn't talk" he informs me.

"Nothing good came of it. And the library is so expansive, it could take all year to get through half the books" I tell him. I'm discouraged.

"It's times like these we could use Hermione" Potter says with a half- hearted smile.

"Or my dad" I tell him. He has a weird look on his face. "Well, the only thing he was good for was hexing" I clarify.

"I can come help you guys tonight. I want a cure as badly as you . . . and don't let Ron get to you. He may be a bit of a stubborn idiot, but he's a great guy".

"I'll just have to take your word for it" I reply as Harry leaves the room. Truth be told, Weasley does have those damned morals that I never had, I know he is a good guy. He just hates me with a passion.

I am left staring at my unconscious girlfriend. Even in this state, she is extremely beautiful, and I am reminded of why I have been so sad lately. I want desperately to feel her warm touch again. I want to feel soft lips on mine.

I have time to tell her I love her, and I give her a soft kiss. Her lips are cold, and there is no feeling. She emits no emotion, and it pains me. I remind myself it's time for classes. I proceed only to take notes for Hermione. She would kill me if I didn't.

****No POV****

Three weeks passed quickly by, and they brought with them no clues to a cure. Homework piled up around and Draco found himself buried under it. He spent so much time in the library, that he no longer paid as close attention to his work. It was fortunate that good grades came so naturally to him.

Times in the library were often spent with much fighting, but Harry's assistance made up for it. More books were covered in less time, but there was just no hope. Dark spells like this one were not found in Hogwarts. Each night the boys went to sleep empty handed.

One particular night Draco decided to just sit by the fire. It was something he always enjoyed doing he was really missing her. The warmth made him forget about the chilling cold outside and soon he was drifting off into a deep sleep that his body so desperately yearned for.

But sleep brought him nightmares. It always had. Soon his tired mind was at work. He was back at Malfoy Manor and his father was thrusting books into his small child-like hands. He was only a mere six years old.

"Daddy, I don't wanna!" wailed a little Draco. "I wanna play outside!"

"You will learn, and your lessons begin today" his father sneered at him. The little boy was forced to open the books and learn the dark contents that it contained. Grotesque pictures flooded his eyes. Pictures of people in odd positions that were obviously being tortured. It was sickening, especially for a small child.

The dreams never lasted long, and Draco always woke in a cold sweat. As usual he sat upright immediately. The memories were a heavy burden to carry.

"Malfoy Manor" he whispered in a the still silent room. It was as if a light bulb had just flashed on in his head. Like a flash he was off the couch and sprinting towards Dumbledore's office. He had the book he needed . . . it was just a matter of finding it.

His athletic legs couldn't carry him fast enough down the long corridors. Even though it was freezing, beads of sweat were falling down his face. It had never seemed to take so long to get to Dumbledore before.

He found himself out of breath in front of the stone gargoyle that signified he was at his destination. After frantically ringing the bell, the entrance opened and he stepped inside. The old man was sitting behind his desk in purple pajamas and a night cap.

"Mr. Malfoy, what can I do for you at this time of night?" he asked in a sleepy voice.

"Sir, can I have permission to go home?" he asked hurriedly, still panting from his run.

"Am I to assume this is for Hermione?" he asked looking down at the blonde boy.

"Yes" is all he answered.

"Take Mr. Weasley, use the floo network to get there. Get what you need, and get back here. No fooling around".

"Don't worry" Draco told him before taking off to get Ron. He couldn't wait to get the book. He would finally get the information he needed.

Ron was summoned reluctantly from a very deep sleep. Soon they were ready and standing over a fire place. Grabbing a handful of floo powder they both stepped inside, each yelling "Malfoy Manor". They were gone in an instant.

Dumbledore smiled to himself amused at the lengths Draco was going to for Hermione. It was a relationship he had never expected. He also thought Draco was trying harder to get along with Ron. It would be foolish to assume those two would ever really be friends, but one must never give up hope.

A/N: I am so so so so so sorry for the wait!!! I have been incredibly busy. This week I had 5 exams and a paper due. Last week my sister had a baby. It's just been insane! Please enjoy my story, and I will try to post the next one soon, as my spring break will be starting tomorrow. REVIEW!!!!