Hey guys.
I'm back with another chapter for this fic.
I don't usually write so fast. But I don't know why, but I felt the need to get this story over and one with. It's getting pretty hard updating 3 stories at once.
Well here's the chapter.
And thanks to everyone who reviewed. I love you guys. So here it goes.
Disclaimer: I don't owe CCS…I'm really getting tired off this. But oh wellz.
Open Up My HeartChapter 14
By Shisnei Kokoro a.k.a Pinklover-samaIt was past four in the afternoon, and the thought of calling Tomoyo once again emerged in Sakura's mind.
From the past hour she was lying face down on her bed, everything around the room left in a mess.
The table lamp, which she had crashed against the wall the moment she had appeared in her room after the conflict with Syaoran was now lying down…broken.
Everything that was on her dresser, had been swept down by her arm, and they were all fallen across the room.
The rug next to her bed had been overturned, with black stains from the blackcurrant juice bottle.
The glass cup on her bedside cabinet had been thrown to her wardrobe, which had left little sharp pieces of glasses clinging on to her hanged clothes.
The thick heavy books, which used to be lined neatly over the small wooden bookshelf, were now flung across the room, and there was one hanging on top of the curtains.
Where there used to be tidy folded up clothes, those clothes were now hurled around the room, leaving no clear space anywhere.
Her dresser mirror had a large crack in it, with a brush hanging down by its handle.
The room was quite a catastrophe, but none the less the chaos going on Sakura's mind was maddening. Her left cheek was still a little red, and her dress was torn by the side hem. Her hair was a mess, and her face felt hot and wet.
Her eyes held no tears…but raging anger. Her clenched fists lay below her forehead, and her nose was snivelling with fury. Her bloody lips were tightly pressed together, and her whole body was quivering terribly.
Everything was absolutely quiet, except for the deep breathing from Sakura.
Her head was hurting more than anything, and her eyes were burning for more tears to slide out. But the anger kept it in. The image of the slap ran through her vision again, making her jerk for the thousandth time.
"Bastard…" she seethed through her clenched jaw.
Flashes from yesterday once again passed her eyes.
His smiles.
His worry of not letting her drink.
His…
"Auuuuurrrrrrrrgggggggggghhhhhhh!!!" she cried pushed her palms against both ears.
Just minutes before she had vowed never to even think about him…
And here she was wanting to remember everything that happened yesterday night!!
What the hell was wrong with her!?
He had slapped her!
The nerve of him!
That bastard!
How could he!?
Just how could he do that!?!
How!?
Why?!
She had trusted him!
Told him her life!
Believed in his sweet words!
Exactly like what she had done with Kai!
Just exactly…
Kai Saito.
The past love of her life.
The man who she surrender all her passion, love and herself towards.
The man who promised her security and love for eternity.
The man who ended betraying her, and killing her unborn precious baby.
Every thought of Syaoran was instantly lost at that point. Kai's snow-white eyes once again probed her mind. And she let out an uneasy smile as thoughts of times she used feel his exhilarating lips on hers entered her mind. His thick bronze hair, which she loved brushing. His wide hands, where she used to always bury her face into.
His beautiful smile, that used to lit up her face every time.
His words that always worked on letting go of her anger. His cheeks that always brushed past hers during the night she used to spend at his.
And the lovely child they were about to have.
The times she had spent during the night preparing names with Tomoyo for her beautiful child that was hidden in her womb.
But all those…were lies.
Damned lies!
Imaginary fantasies that he had made her believe!
The fake love they had shared!
And the memories?
They were still beating by her heart…twinging every time she let them out.
All that was left was now hate…
The hate for letting the man she loved, betray her and letting him abort the baby who was never given a chance to open his/her eyes and see the world that was held before them.
All the energy she had held in, fell out at that thought.
Salty tears immediately fell down soaking her wet pillow. Her cries started to get louder by ever thought, and hoarser.
Men!
Bastards!
Damned devils!
How could she then!?
She had lost her belief in love and life for Kai!!
He had given her only a load of crap!! He was in need of only money!
They why had she gone trusting a man she had just met days ago!!?
That too a man of high honour!
A screen idol!
How low could she stoop!!? And forget about all the vows she had made to forget every man that had stepped into her life, and flick away the ones who will!?
How dare she do that?!
What was so special about Syaoran Li?!
What was it about him that made her feel so hurt to have had him betrayed her trust?! To have gone ahead without her consciousness's permission?!
To have ever had the defiance to even touch her!?
Why?
Sinking down limp…without any energy left in her, she cried once again…this time…silently…just to replay all the pain she had been suffering was all those things.
Her mom's death.
Her father's.
Her brother's.
Her unborn child's.
Her fiancé's.
And now…for another man…whom she had given away her trust…Syaoran Li. That was his name.
# * # * # * # * #
Quietness…
Peace…
Concord…
Silence…
Harmony…
Amity…
All the six meanings of serenity. Tranquillity.
Yet the complete opposite of what Syaoran was feeling.
Desperateness?
Was that the right word to define his plunging heart?
Or was it disgust?
The disgust in himself for slapping the woman he felt that special emotion towards.
Banging the back of his head to the bed again, he rewinded the film in his head.
The way she had that look of betrayal in her eyes. That hurt look. Those tears. She had looked frightened…alone…and afraid. But afraid of what? Him?
Him? The man who used to be gentle to even flies?
What was it in him that made him strike her? What?
Was it just his seeping anger?
Was it that she never trusted him?
Or was it her choice of words?
The sudden nausea she felt towards him…
Or was it the idea she had gotten of him exploiting her?
God.
Even the thought of that made him die.
How could she think that?
He would never take the advantage of a woman?
Never.
Exploit…
Even that word brought him nightmares.
It was like killing what a woman held precious to herself.
Using her.
Hanging his head down in repulsion, he felt the guiltiness increase.
He would never do that…not even if it costed him his life.
Not with any woman…
And certainly not her…never…never her…he respected her…
# * # * # * # * #
'Five seconds…
Four…
Three…
Two…
One…And it's five o' clock…'
A small giddy look appeared on Sakura's face as she stared at the alarm clock in her hands. Probably the only piece of instrument left unbroken.
Wrong…
Feeling the next jab of anger, she hurled the alarm hard across her room, and watched it shatter against the wall.
That noise…
That breaking noise…
It almost seemed to bring pleasure to her ears…knowing that she wasn't the only thing broken at that moment.
Her neck fell back against the headboard of her bed.
And tears fell out again.
Stupid tears.
But at least their life was better.
They just came flowing…and ended up soaked. Finished. They lived only for seconds. No pain.
But no gain either.
What was the reason for life?
What was her reason for living?
Eriol?
Tomoyo?
Sonomi?
Who else?
Eriol used to be her love.
Yes.
They had fallen in love years ago.
But broke up…for Tomoyo.
He had rearranged his love. That passionate love was replaced as a brotherly love. This was before Kai. Before she had known what pain love could bring. She was foolish…not knowing that the two of them weren't meant to be.
Somehow…she knew that secret jealousy she felt towards Tomoyo would never go away. She would always have one thing that she wouldn't.
Love.
A family.
What else would a woman want?
If then…then what was this thing about Syaoran Li? Why did she feel so free to believe his words?
Was it his sincerity?
His friendliness?
Or his passion?
Bah!
He was a complete duplicate of Kai…only that her was after her…a woman who he found attractive.
Or was he?
She could never figure him out.
He could get serious at anytime…passionate about his will. Was that what she liked about him? The way he talked with honesty, and craze?
Oh god…
Why was she always the one suffering?
It was getting pretty tiring…everything…
Thrusting her arm to her bedside cabinet, feeling around. Finally finding the white bottle she brought it up to herself, and opened it without any hesitance.
Leaning out a pill, she popped it into her mouth, and gulped it along with her saliva. Keeping the bottle back in the original place, she sighed.
Why was life so hard?
Not only did she now have to use every ounce of her strength to erase Li out of her mind…but she also was in a desperate need of a job…
She needed money to pay her rent…and get food.
But for now…she wanted to just sleep…sleep all this over. Forget about this.
But even as she made herself comfortable on her bed, she could still feel that abrupt pain on her cheek, and as she opened one eye, a paper ball suddenly caught her attention.
'The letter…'
Frowning to herself, she tightly closed her eyes.
Darn it!
She was supposed to forget him! Everything about him.
But there was still that nagging feeling in her mind. It was only a matter of minutes that the pills would start working. And the first step to start forgetting, was tearing up that paper.
Flinging her legs by the bed, she instantly got up. But as she did, her feet suddenly felt wobbly, and as her knees began to give in underneath her, she instantly fell onto her knees, her arms holding her down for support.
"Ahh!!" she cried out, pulling her hands back.
Her vision immediately saw the deep crimson blood flowing down from slits, and from the edges of the sharp glass pieces that had entered deep into her hands.
Crying out loud, she quickly pulled out the largest piece of glass, and winced. One by one she took them all out, and then stared at her wrecked bloody hands. They were pierced with pain, and she quickly wiped the blood against her dress, not caring if it was disgusting or not.
Leaning by the wall underneath the window, she grabbed the ball of crumpled paper, and spread it out. Her seeping blood immediately got absorbed into the edges of the paper, and she threw back on to the floor. Scanning her eyes over the letter, she read it all over again.
— Sakura
Hey. You probably won't remember anything of last night,
so I wrote this letter before I left.
Just to let you know, we did nothing of any sort. It was
just a friendly date. We fought, talked and you drank. A lot.
You'll probably be having a heavy hangover the whole day.
So don't do anything that'll worsen your headache. Okay?
I had a bit of hard time searching for your house key. But your
neighbour helped me find it, and I put you to bed.
Don't think me bad. But seriously, nothing happened.
Call me on my mobile if you want to. It's 023 875 9306.
I had a great time last, by the ways. Maybe we could do it
again. It was a hell of a fun. You embarrassing the waiters and
all.
And if you don't remember that, don't forget that I told you
not have any alcohol. But that's what you get for not listening to
me. Don't even start blaming me!
Hey, call me tomorrow okay? I don't know your phone number.
I hope now you can finally see, that all men are different. They
have different needs and desires. Not just lovemaking.
I'm leaving in a week to China. So I thought, maybe we could
get together again.
You're one heck of a woman Sakura.
— Syaoran Li (your biggest fan)
At that the letter immediately fell wilted in her bleeding hands. And before she could control her stinging eyes, tears once again rolled out.
Now she was confused…really confused.
There was only one question that was throbbing in her head.
'Why is all this happening…?'
# * # * # * # * #
Syaoran spread his legs over on the floor. He hadn't moved form the last position form the past two hours. He was tired and just sick of everything.
Why did he had to take that from her?
He said it to her…they hadn't done anything? Had she not read his letter? Had it not make it clear?
They had only kissed. He couldn't hide that from her. She had to know what they had shared. That special bond.
Why couldn't she believe him? Hadn't he told her in the car…before they even went to their date?
Hadn't he told her what he thought of everyone?
The why couldn't she trust him?
Did all this…their whole relationship…only come down to one thing? Trust?
Was that the only thing she was after?
Trust?
Not true love?
Hardships?
True…trust was one important element in a relationship.
But did they even have a relationship? He had brought it up to her as a friendly date…what even so wrong in kissing?
She hadn't resisted him…
And she was the one after it…
Maybe it was best if she could remember all their fun…
Maybe if she hadn't drunk that much…she would have understood what she had wanted herself.
But…that didn't matter anymore…she couldn't remember anything, and she hated him. To make him more miserable he had slapped her.
That was the worst. He just couldn't stand the words that slipped out of her mouth. How could she even think that had exploited her?
Exploited?
Out of all the imaginary words.
He wasn't sink minded.
His deal with woman didn't just round up to lovemaking.
He was a man from a good and well-educated family. He had been taught traits. He had been taught respect.
And he used them well.
Then was this thing about this woman that made him feel so guilty?
It wasn't just that slap.
Wasn't just the hurt he had seen in her eyes…
If so…then why was he feeling so ashamed?
Like they really had done something.
Groaning, he pulled back his knees, and set his head on one of them.
What the hell was he thinking!
He wasn't even half drunk yesterday night!
He could still remember each word they had conversed…
And he knew that he hadn't done anything to her expect kissed.
He knew that…for sure.
# * # * # * # * #
She had checked.
Those pregnancy tests.
And the relief had hit her so hard in the chest…that second thoughts began to rush in faster than she could expect.
Was Syaoran Li really guilty?
Had she just taken things off the cliff?!
No…
He had touched her…kissed her…
And the sudden thought of it had made her want to rip the skin off her face.
But now she was on her bed.
Sprawled across.
Asleep.
The pills had finally done their work.
They had finally put her to the rest she desperately needed.
The need the shut her eyes, and deafen her existence to the world only for a short period of time.
To feel the calmness hitting her skin like waves from the sea.
Hadn't she wanted to walk down with the beach…at the date?
Who was he?
At that thought she fidgeted in her sleep.
She had chosen to ignore the constant ringing of the phone. Probably Tomoyo…or maybe even Eriol.
Ahh…Eriol.
He was always a good kisser…but not as good as…
Who was he?
Oh whatever.
Those silky strands of auburn hair kept hitting against her skin. Or so she thought.
It felt tingly. Like Kai's hair. Like every time he snuggled up to her, and let her breath his scent.
But these strands felt smoother, and the smell seemed to hurt her sense to breath. It was as if she was trying to remember the owner of these thick strands of hair.
Who was he?
Skin as soft as flower petals. Touches that couldn't help but linger. That manly chuckle. Those strong arms around her slim waist.
Constant worries for not falling. Over the balcony?
Worries for not drinking…
Crying…
Feeling cold…
Who was this man?
She couldn't put her finger on him. But the sudden fragrance suddenly made her tighten her hold around a particular letter unconsciously.
Sandalwood…cherry blossoms…and buttercups…
It was familiar.
Everything…
The kisses…
The feel…
The touches…
The smell…
The concern…
"Love me…"she mumbled without thinking, "I'm lonely…don't leave me…Syaoran…I need my…good night kiss"
# * # * # * # * #
When was the last time he had had a good girlfriend?
Last year?
And what was her name?
Hakuru Yokata…
Yeah.
She was stubborn…and irresponsible…
Always wanting to know when the end of the world would be…
She would always squint her grey eyes, when she was concentrating…but now she was gone…probably lying in some other man's arms as he thought of her.
Would she laugh at him if she saw him like this?
And anyways…why was he even thinking of her?
She was the past…and Sakura was the—
Present?
Was she really the present?
Or the past like his every girlfriend…
She was even hardly his girlfriend…then…why?
Why was his heart beating so hard?
Why was his need for her growing immense every second he thought of her?
It wasn't just the guilt…
Was he in love then?
In love with those enigmatic emerald eyes?
In love with those sweet lips, that fit perfectly on his?
Or in love with the way her mind spinned?
Or maybe just in love with everything about her?
Oh god…he was going to get nowhere with all this dreaming and thinking. Just nowhere…and swallowing all that guilt had made his throat go soar and dry.
But just as he made his mind to get up or not, there was a sharp knock at the door.
"Syaoran! Open the door man!"
Eriol…
That was his voice.
Frowning a bit, he sighed. What could he possibly want?
"Come on Syaoran! Open this door! We need to talk!"
And that was Tomoyo's voice.
They needed to talk, certainly not him. He just needed some quality time with himself. But what could they possibly want?
Reality check? He certainly knew what they wanted.
Unwilling he struggled to get up form his cramped position and unlocked the door, making quite a few number of faces outside his door lit up.
Each and every team member of his were standing outside, with the Coach standing right behind Eriol, his looming figure sending nervous thoughts in his mind.
Eriol was right in front of him, a worried look in his eyes.
"Syaoran? Are you okay? What happened?!"
"Sakura! What happened between you and Sakura?! Tell me!"
And that was Tomoyo again, her big, round eyes filled with such deep apprehension.
"Nothing…" he said unsure of what he had to say in front of all these people.
Suddenly everyone started shooting questions.
Syaoran tiredly ran his fingers through his hand, and gave out a small yawn, murmuring a small sorry behind his shielded palm. The Coach only closed his eyes. Shaking his head, he pushed Eriol and Tomoyo through the door.
"You go talk to him…" he mumbled as Eriol brushed past him.
And with that the door was closed.
In the room the two could only stare at the wrecked man.
"Syaoran…" Tomoyo whispered as she looked straight at him, "What happened?"
Looking at them through is tired eyes, he sat down on the bed, "Make yourselves feel comfortable…"
"Syaoran…"
This time it was Eriol, "Tell us what happened?"
At that Syaoran fell back on his bed, "Between me and Sakura?"
"D'uh Syaoran! What else!" Tomoyo broke out, "We call her at like 2 o'clock and she picks up the phone all tired! Then she asks for your number, then promises to call back! And when we keep ringing at her place, she doesn't even answer the phone! I know something happened yesterday night! And I want to know about it!"
Closing his eyes in distraught, he thought of what he could say. He couldn't say that he had spent half his date kissing a drunk Sakura, and she went all aggro about it when she found out thought they did something else more. And he certainly couldn't say that he slapped.
Well, what else was there to say than lie straight at their faces?
"She got drunk…" he started in a slow voice.
Eriol nodded, "That explains the hangover"
At that Syaoran pulled up form his bed, "She got seriously drunk man!"
Tomoyo gasped as a thought suddenly hit her, "You guys…didn't do anything…right?!"
"No!" he said at once.
Why the hell did every woman had to think only about that first?!
"So what happened?" Eriol urged on giving Tomoyo a 'questions later' look.
Stumbling on for more words, he finally thought not giving all the info away would be better. It wouldn't be a lie either.
"Well…I had a few glasses too…so I knew what I was doin'…"
"Yeah…" Eriol once again nodded, "You only get drunk after five glasses"
Closing his eyes, he replayed their moments in the car. How he would love it if Sakura could remember that part…
"We talked…and talked…had fun…kissed—,"
"Kissed?" both of the couple smirked in unison.
"Yah…" he groaned, "Kissed…"
"So then what up? Why all this mess? You should be a couple then" Tomoyo remarked confused.
"Wait a sec…" Eriol suddenly frowned, "Don't tell me that Sakura didn't remember all that kissing…"
"Well…she didn't" Syaoran answered. He wasn't lying. He just wasn't explaining the truth, "I guess this morning she wanted to know about what had happened after she got drunk…I told her that we kissed…and she flipped out on that…she said she wasn't ready for another relationship"
Now that was a lie.
"What?!" the couple cried simultaneously.
"She said that she had been through a lot of things…and she needed…time…"
Oh man, where were all these lies coming from?
Tomoyo was the first one to break the crawling silence, "I should have known already…and I guess it's all my fault…" she trailed off close to tears.
Syaoran suddenly leaped up, "What are you talking about?!"
Eriol was at his fiancée's aid at once, "No Tomoyo…it's not…it's not your fault…you only want her to be happy again…that's all…that's not a crime…okay?"
"But I should have known Eriol. She's my cousin…we're like sisters! She's gone through so many hard times…I…I really think I shouldn't have bought you in the middle Syaoran"
Syaoran could only close his.
Great.
Now there was drama on top of his lie.
"It's not" came a sudden voice out of him, even taking him by surprise after what he had said, "It's not your fault…"
"See?" Eriol looked at Tomoyo, who was in his arms, "even he agrees that it's not your fault"
"Yeah. 'cuz it's mine"
The couple instantly whirled to look at him, "Huh?"
"I…I don't know…I mean…I shouldn't have let her drink so much…she took me up by surprise…" he trailed off, hoping some good lie would pop on his tongue.
"She's stubborn Syaoran. You should know that by now…"
"I do…but I shouldn't have kissed her…it's was just…she just…I didn't…it was…I knew…that she wasn't ready for me…"
"That why?" Tomoyo asked.
"I don't know…it just happened all at once…she was standing in front of me all drunk…and…and…" he got himself in his own words again.
"You lost control of your will" Eriol completed it for me.
Yes.
That was exactly what had happened.
He had lost control.
"She was just standing there…"
"Did she resist you?" Tomoyo asked him at once her eyes filled with worry.
Syaoran didn't know what to say. He couldn't say no, or his entire lie would fall apart…and he didn't want them to know what it was really about. It would just make matters worse.
"Yes—,"
Tomoyo gasped at that, but he quickly covered it up.
"She was confused Tomoyo! She didn't know what was right and wrong then! She had like nine glasses or something! And I had two! And it all just happened suddenly! And we only kissed!"
"How many times?"
He was struck hard at that question, "I…I don't know"
Eriol was now sitting by Syaoran on the bed, "Man Syaoran…why did you have to go doing all this?" he sighed.
Tomoyo gave out a frustrated growl, and she settled herself on the couch, "Oh man…just when I thought that things would look up"
"What do you mean?" Syaoran asked after a while.
Tomoyo sighed, "Sakura…her mind's very complex…and her stubbornness always gets the best of her…"
'No kidding…' Syaoran mumbled in his mind.
"She's not the kind of woman…who just sits and obeys. She has had a real tough life. She—,"
"I know" Syaoran interrupted her, "Her father died because her mom was dead. Her brother died in a club where he was trying to protect his girlfriend from some thugs. And she spent the rest of her life in your house. She told me that…and she cried"
"She told you all that?" Eriol turned to him taken by surprise.
Tomoyo only interrupted him, "Why don't you tell us the exact things she told you"
Syaoran got up on his feet, and walked to the room window, "She said that her mother was married young, and her grandfather wasn't happy about it. They moved to this place…Tomo—,"
"Tomoeda"
"Yeah…" he looked at Eriol, "Then she became a model. Her elder brother was born and then her. But then her mom then died one day in this car crash. And she said that the effect had been taken quite bad on her father. He died after that, she didn't tell how"
At that the couple behind him exchanged glances.
"It was only her and her brother left…his name was To—,"
"Touya" Tomoyo completed.
"Yeah…Touya…she said he had given up his career for her…and she blamed herself for it. He started working everywhere he could get a job. Sakura had to do her school, and wasn't allowed to work. She said it was ruled from her brother. Then once at a bar, some fellas were harassing his girlfriend, and he broke I think. She got killed there. And he was bought to the hospital, nearly to death. He didn't know that though. Sakura had then told him. But he still thought he was gonna live…ad he had already started making plans…Sakura had started crying at that again. She blamed everything on herself. She said she wanted to go back and change everything. She had had a fight with her mother before she had gone. She had had a fight with her father…and she was going out with this guy who her brother had asked her to stay away from. And all she could do was blame herself. Just wanted to change…the past"
At that he turned around, only to find Tomoyo red faced, resting on Eriol's shoulders, her eyes teary.
"She has been…" Eriol sighed, "And she'll never stop blaming herself…it's a wonder she told all this… she must have really trusted you…"
Trust.
Trust.
She had trusted him.
"I don't get it"
"After her life broke apart…she would hardly even talk…lots of things had happened…" he looked at Tomoyo, who was looking miserable, "The old Sakura was gone. I had known her from ever since…and she seemed to be getting distant every time we reached out to her. And she had become independent"
"She had even gone out of town without telling us! All alone! When she was nineteen! For a whole month" Tomoyo said.
Syaoran dropped his head.
Guilt.
That feeling was swarming in his veins once again.
Then he looked up, "What about this Kai?"
The couple were immediately left stunned at that.
"She called him a bastard last night…but when I asked who he was, she wouldn't tell. Who the hell is he?"
All he got was silence.
"We can't tell you that Syaoran" Eriol mumbled.
"Why? Why not? Was he her boyfriend or something? I don't mind talking about her ex's you know"
"No…" Tomoyo pushed in, "It's not that…"
"Then?"
"It's Sakura's to tell. Not ours…"
Looking as confused as ever, he shook his head, "Okay…"
Sitting down on the cushion this time, he held his head in his hands, not wanting to get up this time.
"Did you tell her that you were sorry?" Tomoyo spoke up.
"No…" he mumbled from the depths of his hands, "She wouldn't listen…she said she was sick of relationships"
Another lie.
"Well…that she is…" Eriol muttered.
"I thought it would be good, if we got you to teach her to live again…" Tomoyo sighed feeling more tears sting, "I'm worried about her. It's like she might collapse any second. She was at the hospital that day. She weak. I know it. She won't show it. I just want her to move on. And I don't know what I would do if she gave up—,"
At that Eriol pulled her into another hug, and it didn't Syaoran to think twice that she was pouring her eyes out.
Sakura was weak.
He didn't have to be told.
He knew that.
He knew she was falling apart.
He could see those opened arms for him in her eyes last night. Even if she couldn't remember, she had somehow awakened that deep passion in him.
He knew she was lonely. Wanting to get away from the cold. Wanting to feel the warmth of love.
"They think she murdered her father…" Tomoyo wept.
"Yeah…" Syaoran leaned back, "She told me that too"
"But she didn't. She loved her father like mad…until…her mother died. She was brought to court for that. Touya was sck of the media that always came by their house. Once he threatened one of them, because Sakura couldn't stand the humiliation and she would never stop crying. You should have seen the anger in Touya's eyes. He was very protective of her, and when he threatened one of the media, it was bad. Those stupid people, immediately put charges on him, and they kind of made a solution of how violent the Kinomoto family was. Assaulting…threatening…it was horrible. But the embarrassment was worse. Everywhere they went…it kind of getting maddening. But Sakura only went to the court after Touya had died. Some rumour had come up that she had not only murdered her father but also…a man"
"Who?"
Tomoyo looked away, "Just this man. It was horrible. She was on local papers. News. People were so scared of her that when she had started looking for apartments…they wouldn't even talk to her. It just wasn't everyone's fright…but her own…she was scare out of her own wits, She wouldn't get out of the house. And at that moment her world had collapsed"
Syaoran sighed. Why was it that by every statement they were making of her, he wanted to go to her and say sorry?
There was silence for a while.
"She said she had wanted to become a model once…" he suddenly spoke.
Tomoyo laughed with her tears, "Yeah…but she gave away my offer for modelling in my clothes…she said she could never fit in"
"Why not…I mean she is beautiful…"
Eriol smirked, "I think I'm finally understanding from where you got that urge to kiss her"
Tomoyo slapped his arm, "Stop making fun"
Syaoran gave them a sloppy smile. The first from ever since that fight he had had with her.
"My modellings are on stage. You cat walk. Show your plastic smile, or just whip your hips around, and walk back. Sakura hates that kind of modelling"
"Yeah. She wanted to model like her mom"
"As in model in single?" he suddenly asked.
"Yeah…she used to love it. And she used to make me sit by her and watch this million videos of what a person needed to achieve to become a model. What clothes…makeup…actions…everything. But all that was when we were little. Her needs for believing in dreams have changed. She just wants to live on her own, and do things…well…on her own"
# * # * # * # * #
It was nine at night, when her eyes had fluttered open for the second time that day. It was hard to believe that she had spent her entire day in bed.
The letter in her hand, that was blood stained and badly crumpled, now laid somewhere in the depths of her drawers. She couldn't bring herself to rip the letter in half.
Not even glancing at the mirror, she slammed her way into her bathroom. And while she started the shower, the noise seemed to cover the ringing of the phone. Even she had heard it, she would have ignored it.
But if she used her caller ID, she would have known that it wasn't Tomoyo or Eriol…but Syaoran.
When the steam from the bathroom had finally escaped, Sakura stepped out, fully dressed into a green and blue robe, with red fishes.
Her eyes were still looking hollow, even with the vast amount of sleep. Her dry hair was tied up in a bun, and for the first time that day, she walked out of her room.
Making herself a black coffee, she settled herself on the sofa. Sipping on it, she thought of every moment that had happened since the past 48 hours. Since yesterday.
And when she couldn't remember half the night, she sighed frustrated.
So what if they hadn't gone further…he still hadn't had the conscious permission of hers to touch her!
Her face reddened with anger and a feeling which she couldn't recognise.
Had anyone seen her?
Wasn't he embarrassed?
Going all over a woman who wasn't half his worth?
But every time she started rounded off things she hated about him…why did it add up to her like list.
Sincereness. Humor. Friendliness. Understanding.
She couldn't remember having his lips on hers…or even hiding herself in his deep embrace.
Touching her forehead with her cold hands, she tried remembering the dream she had had. It was weird. But she could still smell the sandalwood in her hair.
Where was that from?
Shaking her head she felt herself go crazy.
Why was she thinking about him like he was some close friend who betrayed her?
She possibly couldn't have fallen for him could she?
Was that why she couldn't help but think about him all the time…or was it just because that they had had a fight.
What was happening to her?
She couldn't feel for this man. She had vowed never to fall in love. She had promised herself.
No.
She wasn't in love.
It was just agitation.
Not love.
Love felt fizzy…and gooey.
Not like you wanted to smash your fist into a wall.
Just then the phone beside her rang.
On the second ring, she picked up the phone.
If it were Tomoyo or Eriol she would just lie it off, and tell that her go with Syaoran Li was just a false alarm, and didn't need him anymore.
"Hello?" She said as she held the receiver to her ear, "Hello?
"Uh…Sakura…" came a very familiar voice.
Anger instantly seeped into her veins, and without thinking for a second she slammed the phone down so hard, that a cracking voice could be heard.
Slamming down her finished coffee on the centre table, she stomped back to her room, slamming the door behind her.
And that was how the chase began.
He, Syaoran Li, a celebrity, the captain of the democratising Dragons trying every way to get through her and her heart.
While she, Sakura Kinomoto, a normal girl, who didn't believe in love was running away. Away from him. Away from love. Away from someone she knew had cracked down the wall of glass surrounding her soul.
But she was independent.
She had learnt it through suffering and wilting in the hands of other people.
And she didn't want to rewind her life.
But running wasn't a choice, because one day, she was gonna run out of breath and stop. Take a look around and catch her breath.
Try and look at the world in a different shade.
# * # * # * # * #
Sighing he leaned back on his bed.
It was an improvement.
She hadn't sworn at him or anything.
Just slammed the phone down. Hopefully she would take the plug out the next time he would call her.
That's right .
He wasn't giving up.
Not until he showed her what a beautiful place the world could be. Not until he had a chance to have his last kiss from her. And not until he proved himself to her. She was a bit mad in mind. But he could handle her.
He would take back that slap; make her take back her words. It would take time but it was worth it.
He had found out from Tomoyo that she was jobless, not that he already knew that. But he had plans for her. Real good plans.
A small grin suddenly appeared on his face.
Just the need to feel her hair run through her fingers was growing immense.
Just then he opened his eyes.
The pill.
The pill he had taken from her room yesterday night.
Getting on his feet instantly he ran to his closet. Swinging the door open, he looked for the pant; he had popped the pill into.
"Where is it? Where is it?" he cried pulling out all his black pants, and searching through them.
When he couldn't find it, he bolted out of the room, and ran down the hallway.
At that, he ran straight into a maid.
"Excuse me, but was the laundry service by this morning in my room?" he asked with excite.
The maid blushed a little, "Uh yeah…we have to take the laundry each morning"
No.
Oh god.
His one little step to finding out what had made her fall unconscious was pulled back.
Darn it.
# * # * # * # * #
Hey guys I hope you liked this chap. Wasn't much. But yeah. I wrote it as fast as I could. If you guys find any grammar mistakes or typos, then sorry. Any question? E-mail me please.
The next chapter will be up hopefully soon enough. Hehe…I'm not making promises.
Well, gotta go.
Enjoy.
