Chapter 20
Jack sat and watched his sleeping wife for quite awhile. In his work he had encountered enough traumatized people to know a traumatic flashback when he saw one, but until recently Laura was the last person he would have expected to have one. Obviously the normal middle-class childhood in a suburb of Baltimore she'd told him about had been a KGB fabrication.
Laura moaned, startling him. He looked up at her as she moaned again. She must be having a nightmare; he didn't remember her having a vocal nightmare in a couple of years. She'd had them often in the early years of their marriage, but they'd decreased in frequency since then; he'd always believed that they had something to do with her parents' deaths. She always claimed when she woke that she couldn't remember. He'd never believed her, but had respected her wish not to talk about them.
She cried out again, louder this time, and he stood and leaned over her. When she'd started having nightmares again after the miscarriage, he'd stumbled upon a surefire way to calm her; he wondered if it would work now. He waited until she moaned again, then took her head in his hands and kissed her gently as he stroked the sides of her face. As it had before, it worked like a charm, and she relaxed into quiet sleep again.
He stood and went to the window. No, the view still hadn't changed; he was still looking at another wing of the hospital. He went back to the chair and sat down again, then picked up one of the books. The horrible grammar and spelling in the first paragraph shocked him; was this book written by a five-year-old? He flipped to the front cover and saw that it was [I]Flowers for Algernon[/I]. Oh, well, he thought. It wasn't like he had anything else to do. Nothing except think, anyway, and he really didn't want to do that at the moment.
***
Laura's dinner came at 4:45, according to the usual early mealtime schedule of the hospital, and with it a nurse to wake her up. Fortunately, the shift had changed at three and this was a different nurse from the one who had been so testy this morning. "Our daughter is coming to visit at five, so she won't want to go back to sleep right away," Jack told her.
"That's fine. Just hit the call button if she wants the meds," the nurse said cheerfully.
Laura opened her eyes when the tray was being brought in, but didn't say anything. She stared at the ceiling. Jack turned to her after the aide left. "How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Fine," she murmured.
"You had a nightmare." Irina didn't answer. She knew, of course, that she had had a nightmare. "Want to talk about it?" he said after a moment.
She sighed and tried to force the lingering images of her brother's tiny coffin from her mind. "I don't remember." She really wanted to get out of this bed right now and run away, as far from the memories as she could get.
"Fine," Jack said shortly. He held a spoonful of something unidentifiable up to her lips.
"I'm not hungry."
"Are you sure?" She didn't respond. With a sigh, he put the spoon down. "Sydney and the Sloanes should be here soon." She nodded. Jack decided that there was no point in trying to engage her in conversation. Just like him, she tended to close herself off when she was upset. They'd had very few really serious fights in their marriage, but when they did, it was a war not of shouts but of silence. When they were shouting at each other, it just meant a good stimulating argument, which they both enjoyed immensely although neither would admit it.
They didn't speak for ten minutes, until a knock came on the door. "Come in," Jack called.
"Hi, Mommy!" Sydney cried as she ran around to the far side of the bed. Arvin and Emily came in after her. "I made you a get well card." She held out a piece of bright green construction paper.
Laura smiled and accepted Sydney's creation. "Thank you, sweetheart, it's beautiful," she said. She reached out and propped it up against her books. "I'll keep it right here where I can look at it." She turned to smile at Arvin and Emily. Mostly at Emily, actually, since Arvin was standing by the door with a frown on his face. "Thank you for taking care of Sydney."
Emily waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "A pleasure, as always. How are you doing, Laura? Frankly, for a woman in a hospital bed, you look pretty darn good."
Laura laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm all right; I'll be better once I get out of this bed."
Emily came around the bed, and Arvin followed, going to stand by the windows. Jack got up and joined him, and silently they watched the two women interact. "You poor thing," Emily said. "When are they going to let you go home?"
"Hopefully tomorrow."
"Oh, good. Tell you what. You give me a call when you know what time, and I'll come over and cook dinner for you."
"Oh, no, you don't have to." Laura said.
"All right, I'm going to be tough. Let me cook you dinner tomorrow night, and I'll convince everyone in the choir not to bombard you with casseroles."
"Casseroles! Oh, the horror!" Laura said with a slight grin. "Please don't let them bring me casseroles, Emily. I'm going to be on crutches. How on Earth would I do anything with a big heavy casserole?"
"Well, that's what your husband is for," Emily said, turning to wink at Jack.
"I could help, Mommy!" Sydney chimed in.
"No, Sydney, that shouldn't be necessary," Laura said. "All right, Emily, you may make us dinner tomorrow night. I insist that you and Arvin stay and eat with us, though."
"Only if you let me help with the dishes."
"I think I can live with that."
Jack and Arvin glanced at each other, both wondering if they could pull off making the dinner seem normal for Sydney and Emily. Jack couldn't decide whether to be annoyed at having them there, or glad that it reduced the time he and Laura had to spend alone together.
Emily spoke again. "Now, when I tell Jim what happened, you know what his first concern will be. What shall I tell him?"
"Who's Jim?" Jack whispered to Arvin.
"The choir director," Arvin whispered back.
Laura looked confused. "About what?"
"The Requiem next Sunday," Emily said. "I'm not surprised that you forgot, but you know it will be the most important thing on Jim's mind."
"Oh, that's right," Laura said. "I suppose it will depend on if Jack can take me to the rehearsals." She looked up at Jack. "Honey, can you drive me to choir practice Thursday night and Saturday morning, and to the concert on Sunday?"
Three-days-ago-Jack wouldn't even have hesitated, Jack thought. "Of course, sweetheart," he answered. Now that he thought about it, he did remember Laura mentioning a concert. A Requiem by some composer he'd never heard of, in honor of All Saint's Day, as he recalled. The choir did two or three concerts outside of church services each year; he always meant to attend but always seemed to end up being out of town on the day of the concert.
"Well, I'll be there, then," Laura said.
"I'll make sure to tell Jim. You know he'd probably have a conniption if he had to find a new alto soloist at this point." Wait, Jack thought; Laura was singing a solo? She had never sung a note for him, even when he asked, and she was singing in front of God knew how many people at a church concert?
Laura sighed. "I'm not doing the solo. I just said I'd learn it in case he couldn't find anyone else, remember?"
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Laura, you really think he's looking that hard? He's been trying to get you to do a solo for four years. I bet your name is already on the program."
Laura got a stubborn look on her face. "I'm going to have to have a talk with that man," she said. Then an idea dawned. "Tell him I have broken ribs and I can't breathe deeply enough to do the solo."
Emily chuckled. "I'll tell him, but I can't guarantee he'll believe me."
The conversation paused for a moment. "Mommy, are you going to sing in church? All by yourself?" Sydney asked.
"No, Sydney, I most certainly am not," Laura said.
"But Mommy, you sing really pretty. Everybody would like it."
"Thank you, sweetheart, but it's not going to happen."
Arvin stepped forward after a moment. "Well, Emily, we should probably get going, let Laura get her rest."
"Yes, of course," Emily said. "Give me a call when you find out what time they're letting you out of this zoo, Laura."
"I will. And remember: no casseroles, and no solo!" Laura said.
"I'll try," Emily said with a smile. She gave Laura a hug, and then she and Arvin left.
Jack stepped forward. "Well, Sydney, are you hungry?"
"Yeah. Can we get pizza again?"
"Sorry, sweetheart, Mommy says you have to have vegetables tonight," Jack said.
Sydney made a face. "Oh, sure, make me the villain," Laura said.
Jack went right up to her bedside. "Only telling her the truth," he said. Without waiting for Sydney's prompting this time, he leaned over and kissed her, again lingering longer than was strictly necessary. He pulled back and smiled at her. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," she said, smiling back.
"Daddy, I want to kiss Mommy goodnight too," Sydney said. Jack lifted her up so that she and Laura could kiss each other's cheeks. "Goodnight, Mommy."
"Goodnight, Sydney. Eat your vegetables for Daddy, okay?"
"Okay." She waved as Jack shepherded her out the door.
Jack sat and watched his sleeping wife for quite awhile. In his work he had encountered enough traumatized people to know a traumatic flashback when he saw one, but until recently Laura was the last person he would have expected to have one. Obviously the normal middle-class childhood in a suburb of Baltimore she'd told him about had been a KGB fabrication.
Laura moaned, startling him. He looked up at her as she moaned again. She must be having a nightmare; he didn't remember her having a vocal nightmare in a couple of years. She'd had them often in the early years of their marriage, but they'd decreased in frequency since then; he'd always believed that they had something to do with her parents' deaths. She always claimed when she woke that she couldn't remember. He'd never believed her, but had respected her wish not to talk about them.
She cried out again, louder this time, and he stood and leaned over her. When she'd started having nightmares again after the miscarriage, he'd stumbled upon a surefire way to calm her; he wondered if it would work now. He waited until she moaned again, then took her head in his hands and kissed her gently as he stroked the sides of her face. As it had before, it worked like a charm, and she relaxed into quiet sleep again.
He stood and went to the window. No, the view still hadn't changed; he was still looking at another wing of the hospital. He went back to the chair and sat down again, then picked up one of the books. The horrible grammar and spelling in the first paragraph shocked him; was this book written by a five-year-old? He flipped to the front cover and saw that it was [I]Flowers for Algernon[/I]. Oh, well, he thought. It wasn't like he had anything else to do. Nothing except think, anyway, and he really didn't want to do that at the moment.
***
Laura's dinner came at 4:45, according to the usual early mealtime schedule of the hospital, and with it a nurse to wake her up. Fortunately, the shift had changed at three and this was a different nurse from the one who had been so testy this morning. "Our daughter is coming to visit at five, so she won't want to go back to sleep right away," Jack told her.
"That's fine. Just hit the call button if she wants the meds," the nurse said cheerfully.
Laura opened her eyes when the tray was being brought in, but didn't say anything. She stared at the ceiling. Jack turned to her after the aide left. "How are you feeling?" he asked.
"Fine," she murmured.
"You had a nightmare." Irina didn't answer. She knew, of course, that she had had a nightmare. "Want to talk about it?" he said after a moment.
She sighed and tried to force the lingering images of her brother's tiny coffin from her mind. "I don't remember." She really wanted to get out of this bed right now and run away, as far from the memories as she could get.
"Fine," Jack said shortly. He held a spoonful of something unidentifiable up to her lips.
"I'm not hungry."
"Are you sure?" She didn't respond. With a sigh, he put the spoon down. "Sydney and the Sloanes should be here soon." She nodded. Jack decided that there was no point in trying to engage her in conversation. Just like him, she tended to close herself off when she was upset. They'd had very few really serious fights in their marriage, but when they did, it was a war not of shouts but of silence. When they were shouting at each other, it just meant a good stimulating argument, which they both enjoyed immensely although neither would admit it.
They didn't speak for ten minutes, until a knock came on the door. "Come in," Jack called.
"Hi, Mommy!" Sydney cried as she ran around to the far side of the bed. Arvin and Emily came in after her. "I made you a get well card." She held out a piece of bright green construction paper.
Laura smiled and accepted Sydney's creation. "Thank you, sweetheart, it's beautiful," she said. She reached out and propped it up against her books. "I'll keep it right here where I can look at it." She turned to smile at Arvin and Emily. Mostly at Emily, actually, since Arvin was standing by the door with a frown on his face. "Thank you for taking care of Sydney."
Emily waved her hand in a dismissive gesture. "A pleasure, as always. How are you doing, Laura? Frankly, for a woman in a hospital bed, you look pretty darn good."
Laura laughed. "Don't be ridiculous. I'm all right; I'll be better once I get out of this bed."
Emily came around the bed, and Arvin followed, going to stand by the windows. Jack got up and joined him, and silently they watched the two women interact. "You poor thing," Emily said. "When are they going to let you go home?"
"Hopefully tomorrow."
"Oh, good. Tell you what. You give me a call when you know what time, and I'll come over and cook dinner for you."
"Oh, no, you don't have to." Laura said.
"All right, I'm going to be tough. Let me cook you dinner tomorrow night, and I'll convince everyone in the choir not to bombard you with casseroles."
"Casseroles! Oh, the horror!" Laura said with a slight grin. "Please don't let them bring me casseroles, Emily. I'm going to be on crutches. How on Earth would I do anything with a big heavy casserole?"
"Well, that's what your husband is for," Emily said, turning to wink at Jack.
"I could help, Mommy!" Sydney chimed in.
"No, Sydney, that shouldn't be necessary," Laura said. "All right, Emily, you may make us dinner tomorrow night. I insist that you and Arvin stay and eat with us, though."
"Only if you let me help with the dishes."
"I think I can live with that."
Jack and Arvin glanced at each other, both wondering if they could pull off making the dinner seem normal for Sydney and Emily. Jack couldn't decide whether to be annoyed at having them there, or glad that it reduced the time he and Laura had to spend alone together.
Emily spoke again. "Now, when I tell Jim what happened, you know what his first concern will be. What shall I tell him?"
"Who's Jim?" Jack whispered to Arvin.
"The choir director," Arvin whispered back.
Laura looked confused. "About what?"
"The Requiem next Sunday," Emily said. "I'm not surprised that you forgot, but you know it will be the most important thing on Jim's mind."
"Oh, that's right," Laura said. "I suppose it will depend on if Jack can take me to the rehearsals." She looked up at Jack. "Honey, can you drive me to choir practice Thursday night and Saturday morning, and to the concert on Sunday?"
Three-days-ago-Jack wouldn't even have hesitated, Jack thought. "Of course, sweetheart," he answered. Now that he thought about it, he did remember Laura mentioning a concert. A Requiem by some composer he'd never heard of, in honor of All Saint's Day, as he recalled. The choir did two or three concerts outside of church services each year; he always meant to attend but always seemed to end up being out of town on the day of the concert.
"Well, I'll be there, then," Laura said.
"I'll make sure to tell Jim. You know he'd probably have a conniption if he had to find a new alto soloist at this point." Wait, Jack thought; Laura was singing a solo? She had never sung a note for him, even when he asked, and she was singing in front of God knew how many people at a church concert?
Laura sighed. "I'm not doing the solo. I just said I'd learn it in case he couldn't find anyone else, remember?"
"Oh, for heaven's sake, Laura, you really think he's looking that hard? He's been trying to get you to do a solo for four years. I bet your name is already on the program."
Laura got a stubborn look on her face. "I'm going to have to have a talk with that man," she said. Then an idea dawned. "Tell him I have broken ribs and I can't breathe deeply enough to do the solo."
Emily chuckled. "I'll tell him, but I can't guarantee he'll believe me."
The conversation paused for a moment. "Mommy, are you going to sing in church? All by yourself?" Sydney asked.
"No, Sydney, I most certainly am not," Laura said.
"But Mommy, you sing really pretty. Everybody would like it."
"Thank you, sweetheart, but it's not going to happen."
Arvin stepped forward after a moment. "Well, Emily, we should probably get going, let Laura get her rest."
"Yes, of course," Emily said. "Give me a call when you find out what time they're letting you out of this zoo, Laura."
"I will. And remember: no casseroles, and no solo!" Laura said.
"I'll try," Emily said with a smile. She gave Laura a hug, and then she and Arvin left.
Jack stepped forward. "Well, Sydney, are you hungry?"
"Yeah. Can we get pizza again?"
"Sorry, sweetheart, Mommy says you have to have vegetables tonight," Jack said.
Sydney made a face. "Oh, sure, make me the villain," Laura said.
Jack went right up to her bedside. "Only telling her the truth," he said. Without waiting for Sydney's prompting this time, he leaned over and kissed her, again lingering longer than was strictly necessary. He pulled back and smiled at her. "Goodnight."
"Goodnight," she said, smiling back.
"Daddy, I want to kiss Mommy goodnight too," Sydney said. Jack lifted her up so that she and Laura could kiss each other's cheeks. "Goodnight, Mommy."
"Goodnight, Sydney. Eat your vegetables for Daddy, okay?"
"Okay." She waved as Jack shepherded her out the door.
