10: Awakening
"The doctor did say you might wake up today," said the nurse lightly. "You've been asleep for a long time..."
Andrew said nothing; he simply blinked several times and shielded his eyes from the sunlight with his right hand. He vaguely remembered what had happened the night before... Had it been the night before? Just how long had he been out cold?
As his vision cleared, Andrew tried to sit up, and the nurse came to help him. "I think it was very brave of you, going after the little boy like that..." Andrew didn't reply, but he stared at his hands. He flexed his fingers slowly, extending them and then curling them in again. "The reporters have been trying to get in all day, but we simply can't let them in."
"Reporters?" Andrew asked.
The nurse laughed. "Honey, you're a tabloid's dream! Your father's the richest man on your planet, but he's killed - sorry - and you go missing... Then you turn up here on Montressor, quiet little Montressor, and save the life of a little boy who turns out to be your half-brother. Meanwhile, your mother's dodging all these reporters when she comes in to see you every day, and - "
"She comes in? Past the reporters?"
"Every day," the nurse confirmed, nodding with a smile.
Andrew stared at his hands again. He'd gone through seas of reporters before. What do you think of this situation your father's going through now? Did I say he was my father? Well, you'd think it was obvious, wouldn't you? ...wouldn't you? Young Master Calls, you've grown way past the point of denying anything... I refuse to make any comment. Where is your mother now, Master Calls? What does that have to do with the Fraser-Wright merger? Absolutely nothing, sir, I was just - Our time is done then.
Simon had trained him to beat off the muckrakers as early as his twelfth year. But what did his mother go through, every day, just to see him? Andrew bit his lip as he imagined the reporters gabbing and grabbing, trying to get a word in... Did she stand tall and push her way through, fearful, but pushing through nonetheless? Or did she shrink and cast her eyes down, hiding half behind Jim, clutching his arm?
Mrs. Hawkins, how did you meet Simon Fraser? How do you feel now that your son has returned? Why exactly did he return? We were told you were dead... Mrs. Hawkins, how do you feel, knowing the kinds of things your son was into? Why exactly did you and Mr. Fraser separate?
If she hadn't changed, if his mother was still the same, Andrew knew that Ravenna Calls would be pained, with all these secrets and past hurts dragged up again, this time paraded before the galaxy. A lesser woman would be devastated; a lesser woman would hole up in her room, crying, or scream helplessly at the reporters. But his mother was not a lesser woman. What they said, what she heard - it would get to her. But she wouldn't let it show...
"You're awake."
Andrew looked up, and there she was, looking tired but relieved. The nurse had disappeared, and in her place were his mother and Jim. She smiled a bit, but she watched him intently as Jim helped her out of her coat. Jim cast him an encouraging grin, and then he sat down on the seat with the coats.
Andrew hadn't moved since the nurse came in, and he felt paralyzed now as his mother sat at the edge of his bed. He went back to staring at his hands. They were silent for such a long time. Andrew knew his mother wanted to say something, but she was wondering how to begin, and when... He felt the same way...
"Simon told me you were dead," he blurted out at last. "He said that Jim was mad at the two of you, so he killed the Admiral and then tried to kill you with that bomb..."
Raven bit her lip, and Andrew flinched when she reached out and touched his arm. But her hand stayed there, and he tried to let her soothe him... "Simon planted that bomb, darling. But until now, we don't know why... Perhaps - perhaps it was just for you to see, so that you'd believe his story." Andrew couldn't look at her. Instead, he looked at her hand on his arm, with her thumb rubbing back and forth, trying to relax him.
"But I looked for you. I did everything I could to find you. And Jim helped..." Out of the corner of his eye, Andrew saw Jim blush slightly and rub the back of his neck, sheepish. "It wasn't enough, I guess... I'm sorry."
Andrew closed his eyes. He shut them tight, trying not to let the tears escape. He'd known that crying was inevitable, but he tried to fight it anyway. "I tried to kill you!" he said, addressing Jim. His voice rose. "I - I didn't know what I was doing, it was a dying man's last wish, for crying out loud! And I hated you! Jim Hawkins, I grew up hating you, because you killed my mother and I'd never see her again!"
His voice went soft, and low. "But you were here, all along. And you loved each other." He sniffed and brought his hands away from his eyes, but he kept them downcast. "I was wrong. I was lied to. Do you know what that's like? Finding out that your life has been a lie? That everything you think to be true is a lie? That because of that lie, you could destroy another child's future - two children's futures - and that you could break... another family?"
Raven's eyes were red, and Jim had his eyes to the floor. Andrew continued. "I shouldn't even be here. I should've just gone back to Capernæuma, and gone back underground..."
"And what?" Raven asked suddenly. "And fall into drugs and girls and gangs? Alison already told us that after the breakup you'd started drinking... You would have died..."
"I've been there and back," Jim added softly.
But Andrew had started in the middle of her sentence. "You know about Alison?"
Raven smiled wryly. "She's here, too, Andy..." Andrew warmed slightly upon hearing his old nickname. Simon had called him Drew...
"She's here? But what did her parents say?"
Jim and Raven exchanged looks. Then Jim said, "They had a fight. They kicked her out, and she came straight here with Jordan. The two of them are in the waiting room now, with the twins."
"Can I see her? Why'd they fight?" Andrew asked quickly. Already his face was dry, and his eyes were wide with surprise.
Jim laughed, and Raven smiled. "In a moment," she said, "we'll send her in, and she can answer your questions."
Andrew smiled to himself and stared absently. He was still flexing his fingers...
"I missed you," he whispered at last. "Every day, I wondered where you really were. And you can't count the times I hated myself for doing something that might break your heart."
"Like what?" Raven asked.
Andrew shook his head. "The fighting, I guess. Plus I used some of my money to support a friend's... habits. Then - well, Alison told you - I got a habit of my own..."
"Well, I missed you too," his mother answered, shushing him. "And I don't want to hear another word from you about things you've done, Andrew Calls. That was then. This is now."
Andrew grinned and wiped his eyes again. He tried to sit up, but he was still weak, so Raven reached over and helped him.
And as they embraced, Andrew cried without shame. He'd been waiting for this. This was the ache in his chest being cured and the terrible nightmares being swept away. For years, he'd been searching for something that would fix everything, that would fill up the space created by the Academy bombing. He wanted a new life, a family, and a real home. Here it was.
