Disclaimers: see Chapter 1.

This is going to be the last chapter of:

Making Amends

 "You are never going to change, are you?" Yamato just stared at her with a quizzical expression on his face. "You still want everyone to believe that you are all strong and independent but on the inside you are just begging for someone to help you solve your problems and answer your questions. So, what do you want me to answer? Do you honestly think I could give you an answer? Obviously you don't even know yourself, so how am I supposed to know what's going on inside your messed-up head? I never really understood you and I doubt that your absence helped me on that matter."

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to hand over my troubles to you. But maybe you are right. It really seems as if I have no idea of who I am or what I want. Lately I'm rushing into things without thinking them over first. I know I have been doing this before but it's getting worse. It seems that I'm becoming more and more like your sorry excuse for a brother."

"But how could that be? Wait, let me guess. You were wearing your googles a little too tight again and they cut your brain's bood supply off! That's it, right?"

He just stared at her for a second with a serious expression on his face before he answered while waving his hand. "Nah, I stopped wearing them when I noticed what they were doing to my precious hair."

They shared a brief smile at their joke but that alone was by no means enough to lighten up their mood. An uncomfortable silence threatened to engulf them as they were now sitting right next to another, neither of them daring to look the other in the eyes. Hikari was nervously playing with a strand of her auburn hair while Yamato just stared at the floor again.

The sudden sound of his soft voice took her a little by surprise.

"I guess the truth is that I'm quite lost. It's just as simple as that. It's rather exhausting to be on your own all the time, you know? Unfortunately I am not as mature and independent as everybody else thinks I am. I guess I could become an actor now that my career as a musician has come to an early end. I was so good at keeping up that image of myself that I even fooled myself. But that's just not the real me. The real me misses his old life."

"But what does all of that have to do with me? Was it just sudden inspiration? 'Let's go visiting Hikari and maybe we can break her heart one more time!' Was that what you were thinking before you came here?"

Her eyes were almost blazing with anger as she sat there next to him with her arms crossed. But he knew very well that she had every right to act like that. In her opinion he was probably nothing more than a cruel bastard she had once called her friend. But he tried to explain it anyway.

"Actually that's quite far from what I was thinking. To be honest, it didn't even come to my mind that you are mostly likely still living here until I stood before you. Originally I was just planning on visiting Taichi again."

"Well, thanks for the sweet explanation. That makes everything a lot better of course." Obviously his poor attempt at calming her down a little had failed miserably but he wasn't going to give up yet.

"Look, I'm really sorry about that. I mean it's not like I deliberately forgot about you. Okay, maybe I did and it's my very own fault as well. It wasn't easy for me to hurt you like that before I left but I had to do it. There was no chance that it would have worked back then and if you are honest with yourself you will come to that conclusion as well."

This time, however, it seemed to work. Although not in the way he had hoped it would. The younger girl wasn't giving him the evil stare anymore, which was a good thing, but instead she seemed lost in old memories now. Unfortunately she didn't look too happy either.

"It's okay Yamato. I know you are right about that and I think I knew it all along. I just didn't want to admit it to myself at that time. I just had to find out if you felt the same about me and no matter how much it hurt me in the end it was still better than being in doubt any longer."

"I'm truly sorry that I had to lie to you back then. But I still think it was the right thing to do at that time."

"Wait! What's that supposed to mean? You were not saying what I think you were just saying, right?"

Now she was obviously angry again. Her constant mood swings were beginning to tire him out but then again they were a part of her and therefore he also loved them. He just wished they wouldn't come so quickly and unexpected.

"When you think that I just said that I felt the same for you and that I still broke you heart, well, then you are right."

"But why? Explain it to me, damn it!" Hikari was close to crying now. Unshed tears of grief and frustration were shimmering in her warm eyes. It couldn't get much worse so why shouldn't he finally tell her the truth? She deserved to hear it.

"Well, for all it's worth now: I love you Hikari and it hurt me more than anything else that I had to reject you. Do you know how hard it is to hear that the person you love with all your heart feels the same for you and how much it hurts to crush that tiny sparkle of hope for a happy-end with your own cruel words? Believe me knowing that you are doing the right thing doesn't mend your bleeding heart at all.

It only made my decision to sign the contract a lot easier but on the inside I just wished that I could shred it to pieces and be with you instead of running away. You can hate me for what I have done but I still think that it was the right thing to do."

Carelessly she brushed the tears which had been running down her cheeks away with the long sleeve of her shirt.

"If that's the truth and you really did love me then why didn't you tell me? What made you think that it would have been wrong? I really don't understand you!"

"Just think about it. What do you think everyone else would have said if they eventually found out about us? Do you think your parents or your brother would have been pleased? Do you have an idea what the people at school would have said? It would have brought you more problems than you probably can imagine if you had been going out with a sixteen-year-old who has always been known only as a troublemaker. Believe me it was better that way."

"You are probably right but I still want to believe that it could have worked somehow in the end," she shook her head sadly.

"Maybe, maybe not, who knows what would have happened? But now it's too late to regret it anyway."

The same uncomfortable silence threatened to overtake them again as both of them seemed to be at a loss of words just sitting there next to each other uneasily until Hikari spoke up once more. The uncertainty in her voice was unmistakeable.

"There is one more thing that I still don't understand."

"Well, then ask me and I'll try to give you a satisfying answer," Yamato encouraged her trying to sound as confident as possible although he didn't really feel up to answering questions.

"Why do you keep saying: 'I love you'? Do you really mean it like that or are you still playing with my feelings?" she inquired.

He was a bit shocked that she would think like that about him but the truth was that he had given her reason enough to do so.

"No, I would never do that again. It is as I said but I guess until now I wasn't ready to admit my feelings to you or even to myself."

"So, you really are serious? You probably can't imagine how much I hoped you were just toying with me again. Strange isn't it? All these years I've been waiting for you to return my feelings and now that my wish has come true I wish it hadn't. Maybe it's better if you leave now."

If he had been shocked before he now felt as if a train had hit him at full speed from behind.

"Wait a moment! What's that supposed to mean all of a sudden? Didn't you hear what I just said?"

"I heard and understood you quite well and that's why I think it would be best if you left now."

"But why? I just don't understand you!" He was beyond being confused now, nothing of all that made sense to him anymore.

"Listen! My feelings for you haven't changed over all these years either but the two of us being together is just as impossible as it had been two years ago if not even more so. The circumstances have changed but not to our advantage. Look, I have been waiting for you for so long but I gave up eventually."

Now the pieces were slowly falling into place. "Somebody else has taken my place in your heart. I see."

"You don't understand. Nobody could ever take your place but that doesn't change the fact that I'm having a steady boyfriend. You are too late."

Hikari look at him apologetically. It obviously hurt her just as much as him but there was nothing she could do anymore. Yamato knew how foolish he had been. Had he really expected her to wait for him? He had given her no reason to do so. Instead he had just walked out of her life without even saying goodbye. He should have known that she wouldn't be alone for long. A pretty and popular girl like her surely had no problem to find a boyfriend.

"Yamato I'm really sorry about that all. I wish it wouldn't have come that way but I can't change my life of the past two years just because you choose to come back all of a sudden and tell me that you love me. It's just not enough."

"There is no need to explain anything. You have done nothing wrong. It was me who made the biggest mistake of his life two years ago."

Hikari wanted to say something but there really wasn't anything else to be said. They just looked at each other for a few more seconds before Yamato got up and walked over to the apartment door.

While slipping on his shoes again he turned around one more time.

"Could you do me one last favour?" he asked her. Hikari who had followed him just nodded silently. "Please don't tell anyone that I was here especially not Taichi or Takeru."

He didn't even wait for her answer this time. Instead he spun around quickly and opened the door. But he never got over the threshold. He froze in mid-step as he recognized the person suddenly standing before him. A whole turmoil of emotions broke loose within him as he just stared into the other boy's eyes unable to move. He wanted to say something but the words just wouldn't make it from his brain to his mouth.

Time seemed to stand still as they just stood face to face and a few silent whimpers coming from Hikari were to only sound audible as no words were exchanged. The seconds continued to tick away but eventually Yamato noticed the single red rose in the other boy's hand and he understood immediately.

Suddenly he had full control over his body again which had felt as if a spell had been cast upon it only a second ago. Without another word he pushed the other boy roughly aside and stormed out of the apartment quickly vanishing behind a corner without ever looking back. Hikari's mouth opened as if she wanted to cry out after him but the words died in her throat. Instead she threw herself into her lover's arms and began crying into his shirt.

*

Around the corner Yamato stood with his back pressed against the wall and his eyes tightly shut in a futile attempt at keeping the tears back which were already running freely over his pale cheeks. He felt so helpless and his fist shook in silent anger. Why had it to be him? Everyone else would have been easier to take but him. It was to be expected, really, but he had still hoped it would be someone else.

"Takeru, why did it have to be you? You could have every other girl you ever wanted but you had to choose her."

That moment he realized he had been wrong all along. But how should he have known that not leaving the love of his life would be his biggest mistake? If he had just never come back…

* * *

A.N.: Are you happy with the ending? Probably not, but it's done and I'm not going to change it. Although I have to admit that I had plans for a different one. A happy fluffy Yakari ending that is. But I realized that I had no idea how to write such a thing! ^__^; Personally I like the ending how it is now but don't hesitate to tell me your opinion on that matter (*cough* REVIEW!!! *cough*)!

Thank you to everyone who reviewed!