WARNING: There is a pretty visual depiction of what happened to Olivia, so if you're squeamish, skip the dream part.

YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!! ~Brandi

Olivia sat beside Elliot in the car. The silence was awkward, only occasionally broken by Dickie in the backseat playing. Olivia opened her mouth to break the silence, then she shut it again. She hated lying to Elliot, and he would only ask her the one thing that she was hesitant to talk to him about. Tiana had told her everything that she had seen. Most important, Olivia had been able to get the child to tell her what had been written on the business card. Elliot had already told her about Cragen's decree, restricting her from so much as looking at her case file until it was closed. But her investigation would be private. If all went well, the NYPD would never even know that she was involved. She wanted to get this bastard back herself. More for her mother then for herself.
"Liv." She was startled out of her thoughts by Elliot's hand on her arm and his voice, "Cragen's right, Liv. You need to stay away from your case."
She nodded, not surprised that he suspected something.
"Liv, Promise me that you'll stay away from it. Please!"
"Elliot," She started in a voice barley above a whisper, "All my life I've lived with the knowledge that he was never caught. That he was allowed to do to other women what he did to my mother. This time, he did it to me, and the chance to catch him is right here. So close to me that I can feel it. I really do wish that I can promise you that I'll stay away. And I'll try. But I'm used to finding these people. And this time it's personal, Elliot."
He nodded, "Okay, I understand. But finding him, doing whatever you want to do to him. Is it worth losing your badge? Is worth that? Because that's what's gonna happen."
She stayed silent.
"Come on, Olivia! Everything you've ever known!" He sighed at her lack of response, "Well, at least promise me that you'll call me before you do anything."
She remained silent, hating herself and at the same time knowing that what she was doing was necessary. She honestly didn't know what was going to happen when she found him. The thought of actually finding him was too far out of her grasp.
Elliot put the car into park on the street beside Olivia's apartment building, "Are you sure you're going to be okay here alone?"
"Yeah, the landlord switched me to a ground floor apartment and got some guys to move my stuff downstairs. I'll be fine, El."
"Are you coming to work tomorrow?"
"No. I don't think so." Elliot nodded, then started to get out to walk her to her door, "It's okay. I'll try to call you tonight." He nodded, and Olivia watched as he drove away. She then went into her new apartment and started unpacking the boxes that were unceremoniously put together.

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Olivia woke suddenly and sat up, not quite sure where she was. Then she remembered that she wasn't in the hospital anymore. She glanced at her alarm clock and saw that it was already after midnight. She flipped on the lamp and settled back into her bed, pulling her blanket up around her neck. She struggled to remember the dream that she instinctively knew was about her rape. Instead she fell into a light sleep.

~~~~~A noise jolted her out of sleep. Steps on the fire escape outside of her apartment. She remembered that she had left it open. Adrenaline woke her up fully as she sat up and pulled her blanket tighter around her, as if it could protect her. It was too dark for her to see anything so she reached over to turn on the lamp. Hearing footsteps outside of her room she forgot about the lamp and reached for her gun. Her fingers had barely grazed the metal when the door opened and caused her body to freeze. Whomever it was slapped the gun away from her hands, "Don't do that, Olivia, that wouldn't be very nice at all." A hand roughly pushed her back down into a laying position and clamped down over her mouth. His deep voice rang again in her ears, "If you scream, Olivia Benson, I swear I'll kill you. Please don't tempt me." He took his hand away from her mouth and she kept silent, already knowing what was going to happen, and praying that something would stop it. He kept a tight grip on her hands. Her body momentarily unfroze and she tried to fight him, hoping that something, anything, would help her and make him stop. He pulled himself on top of her and she felt his hardness press into her thigh. He let go of her hands just long enough to push down their pants. She felt his hot breath on her neck.
He thrust into her hard. She bit her tongue in an effort to keep from crying out. He kept going, pushing into her harder and harder, moaning as he reached his climax. He bit into her shoulder, and again she had to fight to keep from crying out. She felt him jerking her body along to follow his as he climbed higher and higher. Olivia felt hot tears flow down her face as he started kissing her neck, continuing to thrust himself into her. She heard herself whimper, begging him to stop.
Finally he was through. He stopped moving and relaxed his hold on her wrists. She felt circulation slowly move through them. He stayed on top of her, breathing deeply, his sweaty head resting on her chest. She tried to move her arms but he immediately tightened his grip, "Don't move, Bitch." They lay there, him catching his breath and her still crying silently.
What felt to her like an hour later, he got off of her. He sat down on the side of the bed and brushed a strand of hair away from her face. She remained immobile.
"You really are beautiful, Olivia. It's a shame." He got up and left the room.
Olivia rolled over onto her side and pulled the blanket up around her, believing that it was finally over. Then she heard footsteps outside of her door again. She fumbled around on the night stand again for her gun, but it was too late, he had her hands again. He wasn't there to rape her again, however. He was there to make sure she never told the story. She was conscious for the first five times that the knife entered her abdomen. Watching as the blood, her blood, spurted over him. Then she blacked out, relishing the peace that the darkness brought with it.~~~~~

Olivia woke again, finally remembering what had happened. And wishing desperately that she hadn't. The new memory caused her to know that she had made the right decision in not promising Elliot anything. She knew exactly what she was going to do. Life was too much of a blessing for him. She settled down again, and for the first time in a month and a half, she was able to sleep without dreaming.

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Olivia had just finished taking to the owner of Slappy Joe's Strip club. The owner of the red truck was named Andrew Johansen. And the owner also mentioned a condemned building just outside of Manhattan where Andrew liked to hang out on his off time. She started the car and decided that she should call Elliot. He trusted her not to do anything stupid, and she knew that he honestly did care for her. Maybe more than she was ready for.
He impatiently answered the phone, "What?!"
"1842 Westchester, just outside of Manhattan. I'll see you there."
"Olivia, don't . . . " She hung up as he was telling her not to do anything. She didn't want his voice irking her conscious and she didn't want to hear any more warnings about the Morris Commission taking away her badge. Hell, after she did this, she wouldn't need her badge anymore.