**
Elizabeth Swann was a kleptomaniac.
She stole things all the time
and felt very sorry for herself.
Then she went to the Caribbean,
where something terrible happened.
She nicked a medallion
and was kidnapped by a bunch of skeleton pirates.
Elizabeth then realised that being a kleptomaniac
might not be so bad after all.
"For the poor pirates," she said earnestly, "are clearly anorexic."
**
(Disclaimer: see chapter 1)
