Once again, don't own it.
The Lazarus Factor
Chapter 2 - Deconstruction
"I must be fine, because my heart's still beating." - The White Stripes
Kim was flown directly to an FBI hospital where she was kept under observation for a day to make sure there was no danger of infection. She was released the day after and returned with Ron to Middleton. Everyone made a huge fuss over her most recent injury, telling her to lie down and take it easy, offering to get her soup or pillows, and anything else they could think of. Even Rufus, who had stayed behind on the mission due to the FBI's insistence, offered her some of his hidden food stash, which Kim politely declined.
"Really everyone, I'm fine," Kim tried to assure the group, "it's just a little sore."
"Well, I still think you should take tomorrow off from school, dear," Mrs. Possible sighed, sitting down beside Kim.
"Mom, it's not that bad."
"Don't pull that line with us Kim," Mr. Possible stepped up behind his wife, "Remember, we ARE both doctors, we know what kind of damage a wound like that can do."
"C'mon dad," Kim laughed, amused at her parents actually trying to keep her home from school, "I mean, it WAS bad, sure. But now it just hurts when I move it too much, I'll be fine. Right, Ron?" Kim smiled looking around for Ron to step up and agree with her, but he didn't appear to be in the room. "Ron?" Kim called again, a little louder.
"Maybe he went home already," suggested Ron's mother, "he's probably pretty tired himself."
"Yeah, maybe." Kim agreed. But secretly, she was a little worried. It wasn't like Ron to just leave like that without saying anything, and especially not without taking Rufus with him. Of course he had been doing a lot of worrying things lately. He had been reprimanded several times for not paying attention in class, and while he HAD done this before, it was usually because he was joking around with Kim or Rufus. But lately it wasn't joking around; he just seemed to zone out, staring straight ahead with a somber look on his face. Sometimes the teacher would have to call his name three or four times before he would even notice.
He just seemed to be losing interest in everything. Ron had never been that fashion-minded when it came to dressing, but Kim was still worried when she noticed him wearing the same outfit for almost four days straight. When she asked him about it he actually seemed surprised.
"Oh, yeah," he said, scratching his head, "I guess I have. Thanks KP, I'd better change, I think these things are starting to talk to me." This had made Kim laugh and they went on to talking about other things. And THAT was the real problem. He made her laugh. He could always make her laugh and whenever she called him on some strange behavior, he would just laugh it off, and would soon have her laughing with him, and not until later would she realize that he had never answered her question. It wasn't that there was anything major wrong, it was just lots of little things that she might not have noticed had they not grown up together, and this leaving without saying anything was just another out of character move.
"He must have just been tired," Kim tried to convince herself, "He was probably so beat that he just forgot to say anything and get Rufus." But deep down she didn't believe a word of it.
Meanwhile, Ron was just walking in his front door. He had stayed out of the way at Kim's house as the others fussed around her, he was afraid of someone trying to talk to him about what had happened. He knew that none of them would blame him for Kim's injury, but that didn't change the fact that he WAS responsible, and having everyone in one room talking about it had made him feel nauseous. He kicked off his shoes, leaving them laying by the door, and went straight to his room. Closing the door and leaning back against it, he heaved a sigh.
"Man Rufus, I am such a mess," he looked down for the little rodent to respond, but saw nothing. "Ah crap, I forgot Rufus," Ron banged his head against the door, "Man, something else for KP to worry about." Ron knew that Kim was concerned about his behavior lately and this would just give her more grief. "Geez, I hope she'll think I was just real tired or something." He could have kicked himself. Kim had enough on her mind without him acting weird, "Just another way I'm letting her down," he thought angrily. Why couldn't he be more useful? Why couldn't he help her more? He started walking towards his closet to change, not seeing the pair of pants on the floor. Suddenly his foot got caught in the pants, losing his balance he fell forward into a chair. He tipped the chair over and slammed to the ground. Anger immediately flooded his mind, how could he always be so clumsy? In a fit of rage he hurled the chair into the wall, knocking over a nearby lamp. The lamp toppled over and was smashed to pieces as it landed. Ron cursed at himself, looking down at his elbow that had been scraped in the fall. He washed it out in the sink, wincing at the sting.
"Maybe that's it," he thought to himself, "maybe I'm just afraid to get hurt." He had never liked getting hurt, but then again, who did? Kim could face it though. She never backed down from a situation just to avoid getting hurt. He thought back to when he had escaped the ring of guards to help Kim. He COULD do it, but before she was hurt, he seemed paralyzed, afraid of the guards. It HAD to be the pain that scared him into uselessness. Ron walked glumly over to his bed, falling face down among the pillows, he settled in to sleep, not bothering to change out of his clothes. He didn't want to bother changing; he didn't want to think about anything anymore, he just wanted to go to sleep.
The next morning Ron woke up late. Getting out of bed, he quickly threw on a clean shirt, but didn't change his pants.
"Hopefully KP won't notice," he thought as he hurried to get ready for school. Rufus was sleeping in his usual spot. "Mom and Dad must have brought him home," Ron mused, walking over to where the little animal was stirring. "Hey buddy," he said cheerfully as Rufus rubbed his eyes, "sorry about ditching you last night." He handed Rufus a Frito as an apology. The naked mole rat took it, chittering happily as it ran up Ron's arm where it perched on his shoulder and munched contentedly on it's treat.
"Hm, guess I'm forgiven," Ron smiled as he headed downstairs.
"There you are," Kim was waiting for Ron as he came down, "I thought we might be late."
"Sorry KP, guess I was more beat than I thought." They hurried out the door, saying good-bye to Ron's parents as they left. They hurried to school talking and joking about how the students and faculty would react to this latest development. Kim predicted that Bonnie would barely be able to hide her joy at Kim being unable to perform with the cheerleaders for a while. Aside from Bonnie's hostility, the rest of the school seemed sympathetic. The teachers all asked how she was and her locker was covered in "Get Well" cards.
"Gee, maybe I should get hurt more often, everyone's being so nice." It was lunchtime and Kim, Ron, and Monique were just sitting down with their trays.
"Well what did you expect," Monique pointed her spork at Kim's shoulder, "It's not everyday someone gets messed up THAT bad." Kim sighed, rolling her eyes.
"I keep telling everyone it's not that bad," Kim insisted, but winced when she reached for her drink.
"Yeah, not that bad." Monique replied sarcastically.
"I just stretched it a little to much," Kim rubbed her bandaged shoulder painfully.
"Um, 'scuse me KP," Ron stood, "I, uh, gotta make a toilet run." He quickly picked up his tray and headed away.
"What's the matter with him?" Monique asked, "He looked like he was going to be sick." Kim watched worriedly as Ron tossed the contents of his tray into a trash barrel and left the lunchroom.
"I don't know, but it's really starting to worry me."
Ron was grateful for the empty bathroom. He entered one of the stalls and sat down tiredly on the closed seat. Resting his head in his hands, he tried to fight down the rising panic in his gut. He had been fighting to keep himself calm the entire day. Kim's injury had hit him like a knife in the back, and having everyone talking about it, reminding him of his role in it. Well, it just felt like someone had grabbed the knife handle and started twisting it. Rufus scurried out of Ron's pocket and onto his knee. He didn't understand why Ron was so sad. Seeing Rufus staring plaintively up at him, Ron smiled.
"Sorry pal, I'm okay, really," Ron picked up the little rodent, holding him at eye level. "I'm just not feeling well. Listen, could you do me a favor?" Rufus squeaked happily and nodded. "Great! I gotta get out of here before I go nuts, keep an eye on KP for me, huh?" Rufus saluted and jumped to the floor, scurrying off towards the lunchroom. Ron sighed and left the bathroom. He peeked into the lunchroom to see if Rufus had gotten to Kim okay. Rufus gave him a thumbs up from the back pocket of Kim's backpack. Satisfied, Ron headed for the doors. He didn't bother telling the office he was leaving, he just didn't want to bother.
As he walked home he felt a pang of guilt for ditching Kim, especially since he was supposed to help out with the cheerleaders' practice after school. He wanted Kim to be in the cheerleaders, and had started helping out to make sure she stayed. When they had first started the whole Team Possible thing Kim had been so enthusiastic about it. After some a few more serious missions though, Ron had noticed her becoming more detached, not as cheerful.
"No surprise, really," Ron thought, "the kind of stuff she faces would depress anyone." In fact, he had started to get really concerned about her. Cheerleading seemed to boost her spirits again, reviving the old optimistic talkative Kim he had always known. She needed cheerleading, needed something normal to worry about instead of criminal masterminds. He had joined up with the group, hoping that his involvement would keep her there. Ron wasn't stupid. He knew that working with the cheerleaders did nothing to improve his standing in school and more often than not, brought ridicule from some of the nastier kids. But Kim needed the cheerleaders as an anchor to the normal world. It was a place where she could use her exceptional talents for something other than fighting. She was doing normal things, and that made her feel normal.
Arriving home, Ron was once again thankful to be alone. His parents were out for the day and probably wouldn't be home till almost 6:00. Walking up to his room, Ron's mind began to drift back to the night before. He thought again about what made him afraid and came to the same conclusion. The pain. That was the only explanation, he was afraid of pain. But that was selfish; he couldn't let Kim be hurt just because he was afraid of getting hurt himself.
"Kim gets hurt all the time," he thought, "but she keeps going. Maybe it's not that bad. Maybe it's just a matter of getting used to it." Ron's gaze fell on the broken lamp from last night. Walking over to it he picked up one of the larger jagged pieces and sat down in a chair. Resting the elbow of his left arm on his knee, he looked curiously at his palm. He slowly brought the edge of the lamp piece to just below his index finger. Finally, pressing down, he slid it diagonally across his palm, stopping just as he hit his wrist. He stared at the gash in his hand, waiting for the searing flash of pain, but it didn't come. Somewhere in the back of his mind he KNEW that his hand hurt, but it just didn't seem to be registering. He watched, fascinated by the bright red blood that oozed from the cut and flowed down his arm. He watched as it ran down into the crook of his elbow and dripped onto his leg, soaking and staining his tan cargo pants.
Ron was amazed. He had never noticed how strangely stunning it was, the bright red against the paler white skin of the arm, the strange patterns it seemed to make as it ran downwards. He was so entranced by the sight that it was several minutes before he noticed that Kim was kneeling in front of the chair, screaming at him.
Sick yet? Don't worry, it only gets worse.
