Disclaimer: The only person from Mash FOX would let me have was Ferret
Face, and who wasn't him???
Chapter Three: Feelings Kept Secret
Hawkeye stood nervously outside her apartment. He didn't know why he was nervous; it's not like he didn't know her. The only thing he did know was that he had a butterfly farm in his stomach.
He took a deep breath, then rang the doorbell. After a moment, the door opened.
Margaret looked at him and smiled radiantly.
"Hawkeye!"
He smiled. "Hello, Margaret!"
She ushered him inside. "Here, come in. I have to find my jacket."
"You want me to come in already, Margaret?" he said cheekily.
She swatted at him. "Oh, be quiet."
He walked in. Her apartment was nice. Not too small, but cozy. There were pictured on the wall, of her father and mother. He smiled when he saw the two sitting on an end table. One was a group picture of the members of the 4077th, standing in front of the signpost. Another was one of him and her, smiling for the camera, with his arms wrapped around her. They had taken it a few days before the war ended.
He turned when he heard her walk into the room. He smiled at her.
"I see you haven't forgot us."
She looked confused for a moment, then smiled when she saw him glance meaningfully at the pictures.
"Oh, those. They've been here ever since I got back. How could I forget you guys?" Especially you, she though, but didn't dare say it aloud. "I only lived with you all for three years, give or take a little."
He smiled at her. "I remember when we took that group picture," he said, picking it up. "It was right before we left to go home. Right after the war ended."
His smile turned mischievous. "So was this picture, he said, holding up the one of them both."
She looked at the picture, and at the grin on his face, blushed a little.
"Are my eyes deceiving me, or is the no- nonsense Major Houlihan blushing?" he asked in a teasing voice.
"Oh you!" she said, hitting him on the shoulder. 'Come on, let's go."
He bowed slightly. "As you wish, madam."
They went through the door, got into the car, and drove to the restaurant.
After they were seated, and had ordered, they started talking.
"So, Margaret, how was your time at the hospital today? I didn't see you much."
She shrugged. "Hectic. No different than usual. We had a few cases, nothing much."
He chuckled. "A lot different than the 4077th, huh?"
She laughed. "You bet. Its nice to here the PA system just paging doctors, instead of blasting out incoming wounded calls."
He nodded in agreement. "That's one thing I won't miss." He paused, thinking, before adding, "Actually, I told BJ once that the only thing I would miss from the war was the people there. I've kept in touch with BJ, Charles, Colonel Potter, even Father Mulcahy. But not you," he added in a softer voice.
She looked away, looking anywhere but into his eyes.
"We tried to contact you. We called anywhere we thought you might be. No one knew where you were. It was like you had disappeared off the face of the earth. We had a reunion, the year after the war ended. All of us wanted you to come, but no one could find you."
She sat quietly a few moments, then spoke. "I'm sorry. I've been really busy, I've moved around a lot and I-"she stopped, and shook her head.
"The truth is, Hawkeye, that I wasn't really sure if any of you really wanted to see me. I figured you all just wanted to get on with your life, forget the war." She stopped then added, hesitantly, "Especially you, Pierce."
He gave her a surprised look. "Me? Why me?"
"You always hated the war, the regulations, anything to do with the army. I figured after the war was over, you wouldn't want anything that would remind you of the war." She paused, before adding, "Including me."
He looked at her for a moment. He sat, thinking about what she had just said. Then, he took her hand, and spoke.
"Your right, Margaret."
Her face fell. He continued quickly.
"But you're only right on one level. I did hate the war, the army; I hated the rules, the death, the senseless destruction. But, like I said earlier, I miss all the people. I miss the..." he searched for the right word. "I miss the closeness we all shared. The only good thing that came out of the war was the friendships we found. I've never felt closer to anyone than the people I met there. BJ, Colonel Potter, Charles." He took a breath. "You. I've missed you a lot, Margaret. The others, I talk to them a lot, we see each other every once in a while. But I haven't seen you in years. I was hoping that we would stay in touch. Even though we used to hate each other, by the end of the war, I thought we were friends."
Margaret looked at him. There were so many emotions running over his face, and through her.
"We were friends, Hawkeye. You and BJ were the best friends I've ever had. I don't let too many people close to me, but somehow you two managed it. Especially you, Hawkeye."
He smiled at her, and she said, "I've missed you a lot too, Hawkeye."
They looked at each other for a few minutes, then Hawkeye broke the silence.
"Well, forget about that. What matters now is that we're here." He laughed. "Wait until I tell the others that I've found you, and that you've been here, all this time, and none of us knew!"
Margaret smiled at him.
A few minutes later, their food came. They talked some more while they ate, then paid the check and left. Hawkeye drove Margaret back to her apartment. They stood on the doorstep, and said goodnight.
"Well, its nice to know that this time, when I say goodbye, I'll see you again." Hawkeye said, a smile on his face.
"We work together. We'll probably see so much of each other at the hospital, we'll get sick of each other."
He shook his head. "It didn't happen at the 4077th, did it?" He thought a minute, then laughed. "Scratch that. We did argue, didn't we?"
She nodded, smiling at him. It had been so good to see him again. She had missed him more than she wanted to admit, even to herself.
He smiled back, then said, "Well, I'll let you go inside. It's getting cold."
"All right. I'll see you tomorrow, Hawkeye. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Margaret," he said. He hesitated, then leaned in and kissed her cheek. Then he turned, and walked quickly back towards his car.
Margaret watched him drive off, a storm of emotions inside her. Part of her was apprehensive and wary. She had been hurt to many times before by men, and wasn't eager for it to happen again. But she knew Hawkeye. He wouldn't hurt her. He had been the one who had helped her through her divorce with Donald. She had built up another wall around herself, to keep out men this time. She had sworn off falling in love again. But, after seeing Hawkeye again, she felt her wall crumbling.
Hawkeye sat in his car, driving home. He had a great time with Margaret. He had missed seeing her, more then he wanted to admit. He too had been hurt before, and didn't want it to happen again. He had been denying his feelings for Margaret for almost the entire war, and seeing her again had only brought those feelings closer to the surface. He didn't dare tell her, though, what he really felt. He was sure that she wouldn't want to be with him. They had tried it before, but had settled on being friends. Their relationship hadn't worked. But Hawkeye couldn't shake the feeling that there was a connection between them. He sighed to himself, and kept driving home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N: So, what do you think? Please, I have a bad case of writer's block. I need suggestions for the next chapter, and what should happen between them. Don't worry, the story WILL get finished, but I need help! Please, R&R and tell me what I should do. Thank you!!!!!!
Chapter Three: Feelings Kept Secret
Hawkeye stood nervously outside her apartment. He didn't know why he was nervous; it's not like he didn't know her. The only thing he did know was that he had a butterfly farm in his stomach.
He took a deep breath, then rang the doorbell. After a moment, the door opened.
Margaret looked at him and smiled radiantly.
"Hawkeye!"
He smiled. "Hello, Margaret!"
She ushered him inside. "Here, come in. I have to find my jacket."
"You want me to come in already, Margaret?" he said cheekily.
She swatted at him. "Oh, be quiet."
He walked in. Her apartment was nice. Not too small, but cozy. There were pictured on the wall, of her father and mother. He smiled when he saw the two sitting on an end table. One was a group picture of the members of the 4077th, standing in front of the signpost. Another was one of him and her, smiling for the camera, with his arms wrapped around her. They had taken it a few days before the war ended.
He turned when he heard her walk into the room. He smiled at her.
"I see you haven't forgot us."
She looked confused for a moment, then smiled when she saw him glance meaningfully at the pictures.
"Oh, those. They've been here ever since I got back. How could I forget you guys?" Especially you, she though, but didn't dare say it aloud. "I only lived with you all for three years, give or take a little."
He smiled at her. "I remember when we took that group picture," he said, picking it up. "It was right before we left to go home. Right after the war ended."
His smile turned mischievous. "So was this picture, he said, holding up the one of them both."
She looked at the picture, and at the grin on his face, blushed a little.
"Are my eyes deceiving me, or is the no- nonsense Major Houlihan blushing?" he asked in a teasing voice.
"Oh you!" she said, hitting him on the shoulder. 'Come on, let's go."
He bowed slightly. "As you wish, madam."
They went through the door, got into the car, and drove to the restaurant.
After they were seated, and had ordered, they started talking.
"So, Margaret, how was your time at the hospital today? I didn't see you much."
She shrugged. "Hectic. No different than usual. We had a few cases, nothing much."
He chuckled. "A lot different than the 4077th, huh?"
She laughed. "You bet. Its nice to here the PA system just paging doctors, instead of blasting out incoming wounded calls."
He nodded in agreement. "That's one thing I won't miss." He paused, thinking, before adding, "Actually, I told BJ once that the only thing I would miss from the war was the people there. I've kept in touch with BJ, Charles, Colonel Potter, even Father Mulcahy. But not you," he added in a softer voice.
She looked away, looking anywhere but into his eyes.
"We tried to contact you. We called anywhere we thought you might be. No one knew where you were. It was like you had disappeared off the face of the earth. We had a reunion, the year after the war ended. All of us wanted you to come, but no one could find you."
She sat quietly a few moments, then spoke. "I'm sorry. I've been really busy, I've moved around a lot and I-"she stopped, and shook her head.
"The truth is, Hawkeye, that I wasn't really sure if any of you really wanted to see me. I figured you all just wanted to get on with your life, forget the war." She stopped then added, hesitantly, "Especially you, Pierce."
He gave her a surprised look. "Me? Why me?"
"You always hated the war, the regulations, anything to do with the army. I figured after the war was over, you wouldn't want anything that would remind you of the war." She paused, before adding, "Including me."
He looked at her for a moment. He sat, thinking about what she had just said. Then, he took her hand, and spoke.
"Your right, Margaret."
Her face fell. He continued quickly.
"But you're only right on one level. I did hate the war, the army; I hated the rules, the death, the senseless destruction. But, like I said earlier, I miss all the people. I miss the..." he searched for the right word. "I miss the closeness we all shared. The only good thing that came out of the war was the friendships we found. I've never felt closer to anyone than the people I met there. BJ, Colonel Potter, Charles." He took a breath. "You. I've missed you a lot, Margaret. The others, I talk to them a lot, we see each other every once in a while. But I haven't seen you in years. I was hoping that we would stay in touch. Even though we used to hate each other, by the end of the war, I thought we were friends."
Margaret looked at him. There were so many emotions running over his face, and through her.
"We were friends, Hawkeye. You and BJ were the best friends I've ever had. I don't let too many people close to me, but somehow you two managed it. Especially you, Hawkeye."
He smiled at her, and she said, "I've missed you a lot too, Hawkeye."
They looked at each other for a few minutes, then Hawkeye broke the silence.
"Well, forget about that. What matters now is that we're here." He laughed. "Wait until I tell the others that I've found you, and that you've been here, all this time, and none of us knew!"
Margaret smiled at him.
A few minutes later, their food came. They talked some more while they ate, then paid the check and left. Hawkeye drove Margaret back to her apartment. They stood on the doorstep, and said goodnight.
"Well, its nice to know that this time, when I say goodbye, I'll see you again." Hawkeye said, a smile on his face.
"We work together. We'll probably see so much of each other at the hospital, we'll get sick of each other."
He shook his head. "It didn't happen at the 4077th, did it?" He thought a minute, then laughed. "Scratch that. We did argue, didn't we?"
She nodded, smiling at him. It had been so good to see him again. She had missed him more than she wanted to admit, even to herself.
He smiled back, then said, "Well, I'll let you go inside. It's getting cold."
"All right. I'll see you tomorrow, Hawkeye. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Margaret," he said. He hesitated, then leaned in and kissed her cheek. Then he turned, and walked quickly back towards his car.
Margaret watched him drive off, a storm of emotions inside her. Part of her was apprehensive and wary. She had been hurt to many times before by men, and wasn't eager for it to happen again. But she knew Hawkeye. He wouldn't hurt her. He had been the one who had helped her through her divorce with Donald. She had built up another wall around herself, to keep out men this time. She had sworn off falling in love again. But, after seeing Hawkeye again, she felt her wall crumbling.
Hawkeye sat in his car, driving home. He had a great time with Margaret. He had missed seeing her, more then he wanted to admit. He too had been hurt before, and didn't want it to happen again. He had been denying his feelings for Margaret for almost the entire war, and seeing her again had only brought those feelings closer to the surface. He didn't dare tell her, though, what he really felt. He was sure that she wouldn't want to be with him. They had tried it before, but had settled on being friends. Their relationship hadn't worked. But Hawkeye couldn't shake the feeling that there was a connection between them. He sighed to himself, and kept driving home.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N: So, what do you think? Please, I have a bad case of writer's block. I need suggestions for the next chapter, and what should happen between them. Don't worry, the story WILL get finished, but I need help! Please, R&R and tell me what I should do. Thank you!!!!!!
