Chapter Six

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

The day was gorgeous. The clouds in the sky were the kind that inspired future great leaders, thinkers and dreamers. Moved along with a breeze that seemed to hold the peace of mind many hoped to find in their life, if only they would stop and breathe it in.

Course very few people at the Brewer house were thinking such thoughts. No one actually. No one would be I suppose when you have a wedding in two days. Instead thoughts ran along the lines of what do you mean the flowers have all frozen? I said I wanted the chicken not the turkey! Mrs. Patterson you CAN NOT bring your three golden retrievers to the wedding, I don't care how well behaved they are. Generally speaking all of these problems can be fixed quickly and easily. All you have to do is put the hysterical screaming bride on the phone and voila all is good. And with discounts. All expect of course when the folding chairs burn to the ground with the Church they were in. Which then leads (after a hundred frantic phone calls) Kristy being forced to use one of Sparrow's family contacts to get folding chairs.

"Sparrow are you sure you're reading that right?"

"How else could I read it?"

"Wrongly."

"Wrongly, what a horrible word. It doesn't suit you at all. Heck it doesn't even work for your stereotypes."

"Excuse me?"

"See now that does."

"Alright."

"All's I mean is that by you being a English teacher you are stereotyped as either being a very pompous professor that everyone makes fun of and rightly so.

"Thanks."

"Or everyone's best friend that is always willing to spew off clever advice to whatever supposed traumatized student that darkens your doorway with his brooding."

"Just exactly-and I am sure I will be quite impressed on how you do this-does this have to do with the word wrongly."

"Well do you see your old English teacher going, "No Mr. Thomas that is wrongly."

"Well I would have hoped that my English teacher would have better grammar then that."

"Precisely. Wrongly is one of those words pompous English teachers cringe over when hearing. And it doesn't work with the understanding English teacher because of its negativity. No brooding teenager is wrong; they are just "misunderstood." And by using such words as wrongly you will traumatize them for up to four years. Then they go out into the real world and realize no one cares."

"Well can't say as though I'm impressed, in fact I'm still mystified."

"How can you still be mystified? I explained it quite well."

" I'm mystified for a different reason."

"That being.?"

"What I did to God that peeved Him off so much that He burned one of his Churches to the ground. Which consequently found me trapped in a car for four hours with you, discussing things that have absolutely no relevance to real life and only make sense in your head."

"Well it could be worse."

"HOW?"

"I could like to kill people as well. By the way are we suppose to be in North Glory?"

"Speaking of killing people."

2 hours later.

"How hard is it to simply read a map?"

"A lot harder then you would think."

"I bet."

"Do you have any idea where we are yet?"

"I know where we are, it's just beyond me how we got here."

"A Doop bag whinfy."

"Do I even want to ask?"

"A Displacing Of Ones' Person By A God That Has It iN For You."

"I see. Though shouldn't it be I instead of an N?"

"You try making a word with two I's right after each other."

"My mistake."

"Yes, you were quite wrongly."

They finally arrived in the small town of St. Thomas two and a half-hours late, cranky and wishing never to see the car again. The man at the St. Thomas church wasn't there much to no one's surprise.

"How again do you know this guy?"

"I don't really. He's somehow associated with my sister, Oriole."

"So you would have no idea where he is?"

"Nope."

"What he looks like?"

"Nope."

"What his phone number is?"

"Nope."

"A last name?"

"Nope."

"How could you not know his last name?"

"Because I don't even know his first one."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Well he seems to be quite a strange bloke. Hasn't even told my sister what his name is and she's known him for 10 years. I can tell you though that he really likes cherry pie."

"How helpful."

"It is actually."

The bells tingled as Sparrow pushed the door to Sam's Bakery open. The normal bakery smell hit her and she breathed it in. A man looked up at them with an icing knife in his hand.

"Can I help you?"

"We were wondering if you had any cherry pies made?"

"Sorry, just sold the last one an hour ago."

"Oh good." The baker looked at her oddly. "Did you sell it to a male specimen that buys them quite regularly?"

"Are you sure this is the right address?"

"Of course not. I just felt like taking a tour of St. Thomas at 9 at night."

"Hey with your history that could be quite possible!" Sparrow glared and Charlie glared right back. The Gods above were making bets on who was going to throw the first punch. The two humans back on earth, were standing in front of a mobile home that could quite possibly been the first of its kind ever built.

"Make sure you don't get lost on your way to the door." Sparrow in mid-knock stopped and snorted. Turning she looked at the man behind her with disbelief.

"What are you? FIVE?"

"Just knock on the door would you?"

"Make sure you don't get lost on your way to the door, honestly." The girl snorted again and turned to knock. Instead she found herself stopping her closed fist from knocking on the nose of a pot bellied beady eyed man dressed in nothing but boxers.

"Hello, we're your 6 O'clock appointment." She was answered with a slamming door. Sparrow dropped the raised fist, reluctantly.

" Well that settles it. You get to explain to Kristy why all the guests are going to have to sit on the floor."

" We're not beaten yet. We still have the options of blackmail, bribery and robbery you know. Bribery, has a lesser chance of us ending up in jail on Kristy's wedding day."

"At least we'd have the protection of the police when she found out what happened."

"I do believe you underestimate that girl."

"Thank you again, sir. My sister will hear of this kindness." Sparrow's answer again was a slamming door. "I'm rather amazed that this thing hasn't tipped over, what with the amount of force of that door slamming all the time."

"Give me those keys."

"Why?"

"It took us an hour to talk him into giving them to you. I will NOT risk you losing them." Our main characters had managed to get Cherry pie eating, boxer boy to hand over the keys to the room were the chairs were stored in the Church, using many forms of bribery.

"What's that suppose to mean?"

"It means you have the most amazing ability to never get anywhere on time. Somehow either you or God throws some ridiculously absurd obstacle in your path that can take days to fix."

"So how long have you had this theory?"

"I heard about that incident in India!"

"THAT WAS NOT MY FAULT!"

"Fine, just give me the keys." Sparrow tossed them right at Charlie's unsuspecting head, which was really quite foolish of both of them. Particularly when you're on a bridge. The ripples created by the key's tumble into the pond reflected the horror filled face of Charlie Thomas and Sparrow's startled one.

"Well maybe you do have a point." And possibly for the first time in a long time, Charlie Thomas started laughing until it hurt. After the initial shock wore off Sparrow joined him.

Ten minutes later and after the keys were well sunk they stopped to catch a breath and figure out what to do.

"Where exactly did they fall?"

"Right over there."

"Where?"

"There."

Splash!

"Did you find them?"

"Yes, they're embedded in my butt thanks to you."

"Well your not likely to loose them again are you? Need help up?" Charlie offered his hand to a floundering Sparrow of the lake.

"That's the same hand you used to push me in with. There has got to be some form of symbolism in that, irony at the least." She grabbed the hand anyway and he hauled her to her feet. In the process, they both found their face's only inches apart. Neither could avoid the others eyes. A strange connection formed between them that was only broken when Charlie moved away hastily.

"Yes, well better get those chairs."

"Yah, better do that. Still got a long drive ahead of us. I'm calling the directions."