Disclaimer: I own only Laura (aka Blaze) and Jessica (aka Raven). Marvel retains all rights to the X-Men. Ilehana Xavier (aka Vixen) belongs to Corrinth.

A/N: This is a slightly different take to Corrinth's first person Ilehana piece entitled 'There's No Place Like Home', totally inspired by said author's work. It occurs in the same time frame, but from a different perspective, so if you've read both, no you're not imaging that it's the same story! And so the timeline gets more tangled- eh Corrinth? Oh, on that note, this is set during the skipped bit at the end of Belonging. Enjoy.

Chapter One- Xavier Mansion

I sit on the small, hidden lawn, legs crossed and eyes closed, enjoying the simplicity of the night. I breathe deeply, slowly, trying to find an ounce of calm and tranquillity through the meditation that has been my centre, my balance, since I was little more than a child. Practice, they say, makes perfect, and the perfect trance state is still something I strive for. This place, here in my mind, is my sanctuary. Through good times and bad I have returned here, and yet again I do the same, wondering what tomorrow may bring.

I am not afraid. The realisation comes slowly; fear is something I have lived with all my life. Fear of those I have crossed? Yes. Fear for those I love? Of course. Fear of myself, of my mutant abilities that can kill without warning or sympathy? Absolutely, it has been my driving force, pushing me over the edge time and again as I struggle onwards, fighting my demons through my meditations. Yet now the fear is gone, I breathe easily, the fight is over.

Firelight dances around the lawn, soft and golden and beautiful. My fire, my essence. It takes no form tonight, a zephyr of mystery that is both warm comfort and light. I am fire, without it I would not exist as you see me, small redhead with big brown eyes and long tangled curls that grow faster than I can keep them cut. The Guardian of Fire. I wonder if I will ever truly understand what that means?

My mutant name is Blaze. I am the foreign languages tutor at the Xavier Institute for Gifted Youngsters. I am an X-Man, have been for many long years now and yet still this place feels like home. I wonder at that; who would have thought that I, on the run at fifteen across Europe for fear of what I had done, killing my own parents, could ever find a place to call home?

My real name is Laura, though for years it was a name I could not touch. I take it more easily now, and that is his doing, the man I love. He could ask me for the moon and I would steal it out of the sky for him or die trying. Taking my own name back is a small allowance I feel, and it means a lot to him, my husband. The word makes me smile, it hasn't been that long and I'm still getting used to the idea. The beautiful pair of rings on my finger makes it real, cold metal a happy comfort. Both are pale gold, the wedding band plain and simple, my engagement ring set with a single diamond. And I'd always thought he had no taste.........

I think I have our daughter to blame for the improvement. Jessica, my secret love, my cause for fighting with the X-Men, has finally found her way home. Legally ours now as well as genetically, emotionally, any way a family can be bound together, I wish I could take some small credit for the lovely child she is, but I cannot. My heart pines with 'what ifs?' but part of me is certain with an adimantium core that I could not have raised my daughter as well as her adoptive parents who I gave her over to. I pray they rest in peace.

The circle is complete, then, surely? But no; just as everything becomes steady and right, the world is swept away from under my feet again and so it is that I take sanctuary outside tonight, knowing that if I am missed I will also be respected enough to be left be. I smile again; long eyelashes tickling my cheeks as unbidden my left hand drifts with its rings to my belly button. Absently I smooth the material under my warm hand, feeling the curve that is my second child growing inside of me, and I am contented. I wonder what they would think of all this, the Xaviers who gave me this wonderful life?

I feel that the Professor would be happy for me. I can almost see the laughter in Charles' eyes as he looks forward to another youngster running around the place. He has been gone from us too long, our founder and our heart......... And his daughter, Ilehana? I think she would be proud of me, at the wholeness I have carved for myself. I wonder if she ever knew she was my inspiration even as her father was my guide? She had not been easy to get to know, a dominant character with bone-deep wisdom. But, as with all who had been privileged enough to know the Vixen well, I was glad that I had had the chance to get past all that. No, not chance, honour.

A twig cracks in the foliage, and instantly my head snaps up. Someone is out there? Keeping my breathing soft and my senses alert I scan the edge of the shrubs and trees for any sign of a threat. If someone is out there, they will have to have the stealth of a wolf to steal away from me without me knowing. And then it hits me, with a lump in my throat as my hand again strays to my pregnant belly, that I know who it is in the trees. I have felt it before, that she is watching over us. Knowing there is no threat from her, I close my eyes again, trusting her as always, and slip back into my meditation. Under my fingers, I am almost aware of the life beginning there.........