The Lec-Bomb
by Daniel S. Langdon

Characters:

James Bond

003

008

Felix Leiter

Bondgirl: Mrs. Drill

Scene 1:

(Gun barrel opening)

(Bond walks in to Ms room)

Bond: Good morning, M, Q,-

(Bond stops dead in his tracks)

Mrs. Drill: Hello, 0-0-7....

(Bond loosens his neck-tie)

Bond: H-H-Hello, M-Mrs. D-Drill.

(Mrs. Drill stands up)

Bond: Well, aren't you well equipped!

Mrs. Drill: Why aren't you listening to Ms-

(M stops Briefing 007 and looks up)

(Bond and Mrs Drill are kissing)

M: 007.....

Q: 007, snap out of it, we are trying to brief you!

(Bond and Mrs. Drill stop and M starts talking)

M: You are going to the US with Mrs. Drill. her code name

is XX. Now, please stop by Q-Branch on your wayout.

(Bond and XX Start leaving)

M: Wait!! XX stays here......

(Bond sighs and lets go of XXs' hand)

Scene Two:

(Bond walks to Q-Branch)

Bond: O.K. Q, what kinda gadgets you got today??

Bond: A Rappel, a nano suit??? Maby?..

Q: No 007, a High-Tech gun... With a rappel, a Bomb disarmer, and, when you go undercover, it go's from

Walther P22 to a Martini shaker.

Bond: A Walther P22?!!?

Q: Oh yes, Your new gun: the Walther P22, 15 round

magazine, 9.99mm, and its small.

Bond: Nice choice...

Q: Your new car: a Hummer H2 with machinguns, its' bullet proof, a nano mod (with only limted time), rocket

launchers, smoke screen, oil slick, and a martini maker.

Bond: WOW. the whole 10 yards...

Q: yes.... M told me to tell you your plane leaves for

the USofA in the morning.

Bond: Thanks Q...

(Bond walks off)

Scene 3:

(Main tittles and Music play)

(Cut to a scene with a Boeing 747 plane landing in Anchorage, Alaska USA)

Bond: Shure is cold up here....

XX: Lest we're-

(XX cuts off because Bond is running to a man)

Bond: Felix!!!

Felix: Bond, James Bond!!

(XX look's at them both for a few seconds)

XX: Who are you??!

Felix: My names Felix Leiter!

Felix: And what's your name?

XX: Dana Drill, err, Mrs. Drill. My spy friends call me XX...

Felix: James, 003 has turned bad.

Bond: XX, you call M and tell him this: Leiter contacted,

003 bad, send 008, BJ007.

XX: OK, 007!

Felix: If you don't know this, I'll tell you: 003 has set-up

base in the Alaskan city, er, town of Nome. Well need to

take my car, its got 4 wheel drive and ski's.

Scene 4:

( We see 003)

003: We need to kill that, son of a spy!!!

Guard: But boss, how?? He's got Leiter!

003: Forget Leiter, Bond and Leiter won't die!

003: But XX will......HA!

(We see Bond and Leiter in a vent)

Bond: Shut-up, 003!! The girl WILL not die!!

(Bond kills the guard and runs)

Scene 5:

Bond: Its' time you retired!!!! 003!

003: Bond!! Howed you get here????!

Bond: The back way.

(Bond winks at 003)

Bond: Felix, get my Walther P22!

Felix: P22??! I thought it was a P9-

Bond: Just Do It!!!

(Felix gives Bond the P22)

Bond: Now 003, Its time to get yours.....

(Bond shoots 003, but 003 kills Leiter first)

(Felix and 003 fall at the same time and Bond gets away)

Bond: Dang, It always ends this way.

(Bond gets to the car and finds XX dead)

Bond: I guess....... Idiot, why would I spear the girl if

I already had her???

(Bond calls his car and leaves)

Scene 6:

(End tittles and the song "Nobody Dos It Better" plays)