A/N: What can I say but sorry for the ridiculous delay? Thanks for being patient! I'm not going to say too much, because I really should be concentrating on this chapter - so here you are!
Disclaimer: I own NOTHING!!!!! L
I Can't Turn Away: chapter seven
So. Here I was, sitting happily, eating a slice of pizza, watching the TV. I guess I was kinda happy at that moment. I mean, as far as Sundays go, this one was pretty damn good! Like I said before, the TV had some good programmes on - there was good food in the fridge (nice change!) and I'd just realized that Alex hadn't yelled at me for GOD knows how long!
So tell me how the hell all that can change with a five minute conversation? I mean, really. Because in five seconds, I found out my 'temporary happy mood' (as my mom so kindly put it) really was temporary. And it was my best friend who bought it crashing around my ears.
Caitie came round. I thought we were gonna study for a couple of hours, grab some pizza, and watch one of those crap films Caitie's so fond of making fun of. Well, it wasn't like that at all! I opened the door, expecting to see her with her usual cheesy smile (saved only for video Sundays), holding a video and her books. But instead. . . .
*~*~*~*~*
"Hey Caitie."
"Hi Jamie. . ." I took a closer look at her.
"Caitie, what's wrong? You look like crap."
"I've got something I have to tell you."
"Okay. . .come in." Caitie walked in, clutching a pink notebook to her chest. I closed the door behind her, feeling incredibly confused. "So, what's this thing you have to tell me?" Caitie held out the notebook. "You're into pink now?" Caitie shook her head. "Then. . .what? Come on Caitie, I'm not a mind-reader."
"Jamie. . .please, I'm trying to be serious." I fell silent. This was when I knew something serious was happening. "Look - I wish I didn't have to tell you this. But it's got to the point where I can't bear it any more." I decided to cut in quick.
"Look, Caitie, if this is about the biscuit tins thing, I swear to God, it was an honest mistake. Anyway, it's not like. . ." I trailed when I saw the look on Caitie's face.
"Biscuit tins? What are you talking about?"
"Um. . .don't worry." Caitie gave me a look but tapped the pink notebook.
"Read that."
"ALL of it?"
"No." She took it off me, and started flicking through the pages. Just as I started getting bored, and reached for another pizza slice, she reached out to stop me.
"You want a slice?"
"No. . .I've found the right page." I stood straight.
"Caitie, what the hell is going on?"
"Read that," she said softly, her eyes fixed on the floor. I tossed the notebook to one side, knelt down, and tilted Caitie's head up so that her eyes were locked on mine.
"Caitie," I said firmly. "Something's going on that you're not telling me. And I can tell that just reading something out a pink notebook won't help at all." Caitie didn't reply. "Damn it Caitie, you're beginning to scare me. Will you please just talk to me?" When she still didn't reply, I began to get slightly mad. "C'mon, you're my best friend, you can tell me -"
"That's just it!" She cried suddenly, standing up so fast that I fell back onto the rug. "Best friends. . .that's all we'll ever be!" I still didn't get it. "Jamie, don't you understand?" I shook my head slowly. She sat opposite me. "I love you."
"Is that it? I know that. We're best friends - of course we love each other."
"But not in the way I'd like it to be," she said, her voice nearly a whisper. That was when my cosy little happy world starting cracking.
"Caitie, you don't mean. . ." She nodded.
"I do. I'm really sorry. . .but I do. That's why Val's been avoiding me. It's why we've both been funny around you. We both love you." I stood up. "Jamie?"
"Caitie. . .I need to think about this!" I said, my voice beginning to crack. "I have to. . .I have to go. . ." I grabbed my coat, and my keys.
"Where are you going?"
"I don't know. I just need to think." Caitie stood up. "No, please Caitie. . .I need to be on my own. Please."
"It won't change anything Jamie!" She yelled as I ran out the door. "Jamie, I love you!"
*~*~*~*~*
So that's pretty much what happened. I remembered, the pink notebook was Val's diary. Caitie was probably trying to show me one of Val's entries. . .about me? Probably.
I hate this. How can your whole entire world be screwed up by three words? 'I love you'. Huh. People say they're meant to be the best words in the world. I don't think so. I mean. . .Caitie's my best friend. And Val, she may not be my best friend, but she's still a friend. But I guess they don't really think themselves my friends. . .I mean, how can they? If they. . .God, I can't even say it. If they. . .love me.
And to top this all off, I have a shift tonight at the station. Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's gonna be awkward as hell. Val's gonna be there. . .oh damn, Tyler's gonna be there. What the hell is Val doing, falling for me? She's got Tyler! He's much better for her than I ever could be. I mean - I'm not exactly like her am I? She's on this stupid squad because she wants to be. I'm on here because I was stupid enough to get myself arrested. That alone would be enough to put anyone off.
Apparently not.
A/N: And there you go! Hope that was worth the wait! Please read and review!
