hehe, Im posting in small amounts right now..hopefully the chapters will get longer as I go on...sorry that the beginning of the story is sorta dragging on but i promise well get some action in here somewhere...

Disclaimer: nope...still dont own the show...or the characters...
Warnings: Future Yaoi/shounen ai and in this chapter mention of Yuri by veeery sensitive Dorothy...0.o scary ne?


As they pulled up to the mansion, Heero saw that Quatre was waiting for him accompanied by someone else he knew very well...

"Trowa?" he muttered under his breath. He didn't mean for Dorothy to hear him but she did

"Hes been staying for a few weeks now"

"Doesn't he work at the circus with Catherine?"

"Yes, but hes on a vacation"

"Hn." It didn't bother Heero much that the two former allies were there. In fact, it cheered him up slightly. He had always gotten on well with both of the pilots, and he enjoyed their company, though he would never admit it out loud.

Quatre was at his side the minute heero left the car.

"Hello heero!" he said. Too cheerily. They knew what was happening, but they weren't gonna let on. Heero allowed himself a grin straining at his seemingly stone face, Trowa nodded to acknowledge him and Heero returned the gesture.

Dorothy of course, would not be left out of the conversation, "Aren't you going to invite your guest inside Mr. Winner?"

"Oh! Thats right!" Quatre finally remebered his manners. Usually, it wouldve been the first thing he had done, but he sensed that Heero was not emotionally stable, and concern for his friend was all that filled his mind at the moment. He quickly recovered and ushered everyone inside.

"Come in come in!"

He whispered something in Arabian to one of the men standing inside the doorway, and the man quickly took off. Then he led Heero, Trowa and Dorothy into the sitting room, and offered each a seat. Soon, the man he had talked to as they walked in, came in with a tray set with four cups of tea and put one out in front of each of them.

No one wanted to start the conversation...

No one knew what to say...

Finally, Quatre opted on a safe subject: how they all came to the same place after the war.
Anything to keep Heeros mind off of what had happened.

"Heero, did you know that Trowas circus does trips to earth now?" He asked, burning to get some sort of conversation going. He looked at Trowa who nodded to show it was true. Heero still didn't say anything so Quatre tried again...

"I met up with him on a business trip to see his boss. You should go down sometime, its really nice. Ne Trowa?"

Trowa catching on agreed "Yes, the animals can be quite calming..."

Heero didn't like seeing his friends trying to help him so much, and he finally decided to say something.

"I know what your trying to do, and I thank you for your support..." he stood up, "but what I really need, is some time to think..." He turned to Quatre "..but thank you for your hospitality"

Quatre stood up as well "Your not a stranger Heero! Your a friend! friends help eachother with their problems. Please heero let us help!"

Heero looked away "I never said I have a problem, what made you think that?" he was lying through his teeth and he knew it, but, he didn't want them to feel sorry for him.

Quatre wasn't giving up, "Ne heero! Why dont you stay here? at least for a few nights until you figure out what you're going to do..." he was getting desperate. Anything to keep his comrade from leaving.

It was then that heero realized how forlorn he had become without Relena. No home...no companionship...no anchor to hold him down. Yes, he would stay, but, he still needed time to think. As if reading his mind Quatre added quickly,

"Theres an extra wing down by the lake. Its quiet and no one ever goes down there. Please Heero! Let us help!"

Heero finally relented."Ok, Quatre. I cant accept your pity but I will gratefully accept your offer until I can find my own way..." 'if I have one...' he wanted to add but kept it to himself. He didn't know why he just couldn't bring himself to say certain things in front of his...friends. He grinned at the thought. His friends were there for him, even if Relena wasn't anymore.

But thoughts of Relena diminished his smile again. Had he really loved her? So much that his pain was noticible to his friends when he lost her? Heero wasn't sure, his head began to spin...

Quatre seemed to notice the internal struggle heero was going through and offered "Come on heero, Ill show you where the room is"

Grateful Heero followed Quatre down many halls, Quatre pointing out bathrooms, kitchens, sitting rooms and dining rooms on the way. Finally they arrived at a quiet corridor in front of a heavy oak door.

"This is the room Heero" he said opening the door slowly. If Heero had been a normal boy his jaw would have dropped in amazement. The room was beautiful! It was even larger than Relenas room at Cinq, a giant oak desk against the wall a huge oak bed with curtains against another wall. But what was the best part about it was the ten foot long picture window overlooking the lake lined with a window seat and plenty of cusioning. Quatre wasn't surprised at all. If this was a guest room, the main rooms must be extrodinary!

Heero stopped admiring the room long enough to Thank Quatre and once he had left heero strolled over to the desk and set up his laptop. He sat down at the desk wondering what to do. he opened up his e-mail and saw that he had recieved an e-mail from preventers. It was from Wufei. He opened it quickly. Why would wufei want to get ahold of him all of a sudden?

Heero,

I need to talk to you about a job we have here for a mechanic, think you can meet me somewhere? Im free anyday after five except friday...e-mail me if you will...

Wufei

Heero was hesitant. Did he really want to work with preventers? It wouldn't be a bad job, and itd be pretty easy for him. He really didn't want to get involved with anything that had to do with fighting, but he did need a job.

He e-mailed wufei telling him to meet at the Bijou cafe downtown the next day at five thirty. He then closed his laptop and walked over to the large windowseat.

You could easily sleep there comfortably, but Heero didn't feel like sleeping. He rested his chin on his knee and looked out over the lake. He remebered how he and relena had once stood together in her office, overlooking the ocean, and at the time had figured hed never see something quite so beautiful again...but it paled in comparison to this.

He sighed quietly, not aware that he was being watched, but soon to find out when Dorothy's voice rang out over the quiet room.

"It's beautiful isn't it?"

Heeros head snapped up. "Dorothy?"

"Sorry Heero. I dont usually come down here, but I wanted to talk..." she said. She DID sound sort of sorry for interrupting his train of thought, so he decided to give her a minute of his time. He nodded and she walked across the room to sit next to him on the windowseat, but she remained silent, looking down.
Heero decided for once to get things going...

"You've changed alot" he said. And it was true. She seemed almost....introverted. Quiet and........kind...

Dorothy smiled a bit. "I hope its not a bad change?"

Heero managed again to smile briefly "No...I was just wondering how it came about." Heero realized this was probably one of the most truthful things he had said all day and his smile faded again.

Dorothy cast him a glance and began "I guess that happens to you, when you're rejected by the one you love..."

Heeros head shot up in surprise and Dorothy laughed. "Oh dont pretend you didn't see it. I was in love with Relena since the first day" She smiled ironically "For the first time I felt happy and cared for, and she took it all away from me after the war, ignoring me and calling me a threat to the peace SHE had attained..."

Dorothy looked up at Heero...who averted his gaze, he did not want to admit that he had thought hed had almost those same feelings not too long ago...

"I hated you for the longest time after that" she admitted. Heero still didn't look up "After all, you didn't even love her, and still...she chose you..." Heero glared at her angrily. What did SHE know!! He HAD loved Relena! How could she even think...

"Dont try to deny the facts Heero" Dorothy interrupted his thoughts as if she could hear them, she stood up. "I know you didn't...you couldn't have loved her the way I did..." Heero blanched as a single tear rolled down the girls cheek and he couldn't help feeling sorry for her, but he was still infuriated that she had right out said that he hadn't loved Relena.

Heero stood up as she wiped the tear from her face. He looked at her for a minute, before asking "What makes you think that I didn't love her?"

Dorothy looked down before saying quietly, "You haven't changed, thats why." she paused for a minute before continuing

"People like you and me, we never let others know what we are thinking. But Relena changed that for me, when she told me it was over, I cried out loud for the first time in my life Heero. I thought I was going to die. Do you feel like that Heero? Let me answer for you...no...I know you feel torn up, rejection feels like that. To anyone. But you'll get over it.
Unfortunatly, I never will. Not like you, because a part of your heart knows that you didn't truly love her, with all your soul. Had you..." She smiled and laughed sadly up at him "You wouldve ended up like me, a blubbering fool..." slightly more serious she added "Love changes your WHOLE character Heero. When you find it, you will know. True love will finally let you lose that mask of indifference, and let the real you show, after all of these years of being repressed" She turned to go and finished over her shoulder, "I hope you find it someday Heero Yuy..." with that she was gone, leaving Heero with even more to think about.


0.o Dorothy...sensitive...just when everyone thought it couldn't be done...Hehe..ok so I didn't introduce Duo yet...he'll come next chappie I promise...right now were just gonna torture poor Heero-kun with sapsapsap!!! Hehe...alright...Ill get going on the next chapter...