Disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin or any of it's characters. I also do not own the song "If I never knew you" by Alan Menken & Stephen Schwartz.

A/N: This is a songfic(ish) about Kenshin telling Kaoru about his fatal disease. There are Seisouhen spoilers or Reflections spoilers, either way you want to look at it. Other than that, it's not horribly long so just read it and see what it's about. I hope you enjoy! Please R&R

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Kenshin had just found out about his disease. "So," he thought to himself, "This will be the end of the Hitokiri Battousai. Survived the Bakamatsu, and a series of other battles afterwards, not to mention fighting Mokoto Shishio. Undefeated by man, his end would be his own body attacking him. Something that he could not defend himself against.

Now the hardest part would be telling Kaoru.

"Kaoru...."

Her name lingered on his lips. Kenshin had never been afraid of anything in his life. He had always been ready to give his life, if necessary to protect those he loved. Why was it now that he was so afraid.

"Kaoru...." he repeated.

How could he do this to her? How could he tell her that the illness he had contracted would take his very life?

"Kenshin?" Kaoru said from behind him.

Kenshin looked up at his wife. How he loved her. She seemed like an angel standing there, the light from inside behind her. How he would miss her. He longed to take her into his arms, and hold her forever. He wanted to kiss her so that her lips would know his forever.

"Kenshin what's wrong?" asked her innocent voice.

Oh that innocent voice! His wife had never taken the life of a man, or terrorized cities, watched a loved one die at her own blade. She had always believed that a sword was meant to protect, and not to kill. There lied her innocence.

"Kaoru..... I...."

Kenshin's voice cracked.

"What is it Kenshin?"

"Kaoru... I'm sick...."

"Well then I'll send for Megumi...."

"No.... Kaoru.... Megumi-dono cannot help me, that she can't...."

"What do you mean Kenshin? Do you need some sleep?"

"Kaoru.. I..... I'm dying Koishi..."

Kaoru covered her mouth in astonishment. Tears filled her eyes.

"No..." she whispered, "No... I don't believe you.... we'll send for Miss Megumi and everything will be ok..."

"No Koishi. Megumi-dono already examined me. There is nothing that can be done. I.... I'm sorry Koishi."

Tears streamed down Kaoru's cheeks.

"No Kenshin!! No... I.... I don't want you to die.... Kenji... Me.... we need you... I don't want you to die!!!"

Kenshin took Kaoru into his arms.

"Shh.... Koishi.... it's alright. Even if I died today, I have had the best life I could have asked for. I met you. Life wouldn't have been worth anything to me if it wasn't for you."

Kaoru was clinging to her husbands Gi.

"No Anata...."

"Koishi.... listen...." and as she did, Kenshin began to sing to her.



(Kenshin)

If I never knew you
If I never felt this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be

And if I never held you
I would never have a clue
How at last I'd find in you
The missing part of me


In this world so full of fear
Full of rage and lies
I can see the truth so clear
In your eyes
So dry your eyes


And I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you

Kaoru wiped her eyes, but still sobbing slightly started singing back to her husband...

(Kaoru)
If I never knew you
I'd be safe but half as real
Never knowing I could feel
A love so strong and true

I'm so grateful to you
I'd have lived my whole life through
Lost forever
If I never knew you


(Both Kenshin and Kaoru)
I thought our love would be so beautiful


Somehow we made the whole world bright


I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong
All they'd leave us where these whispers in the night
But still my heart is singing
We were right

(Kenshin)
If I never knew you
If I never knew this love
I would have no inkling of
How precious life can be


There's no moment I regret
Since the moment that we met
If our time has gone too fast
I've lived at last...


I thought our love would be so beautiful
Somehow we'd make the whole world bright

(Kaoru)
I thought our love would be so beautiful
We'd turn the darkness into light

(Both Kenshin and Kaoru)
And still my heart is saying
We were right


We were right
And If I never knew you
I'd have lived my whole life through


Empty as the sky


Never knowing why
Lost forever
If I never knew you

"Aishiteru Koishi." Kenshin whispered as a tear fell from his eye.

"Aishiteru Anata."