Luka sat on the leather sofa in the waiting area. Kerry had certainly come up in the world, he thought. But still, with County still struggling, he well knew, to maintain basic services, how could they justify this kind of expense for the Chief of Staff's office? (And this was just the waiting area! He couldn't imagine what her office would look like.)

It was still hard, Luka realized, for him to even picture Kerry as Chief of Staff. She had taken the position before he left for Africa, but he hadn't really absorbed the change before leaving. And he knew too (Susan had told him), that she still took frequent shifts in the ER. Because she didn't trust Robert to manage it well, because they were short-staffed, and because she wanted to keep her clinical skills up. Well, with any luck, the 'short-staffed' problem should soon be less acute.

"How much longer?" he finally asked the secretary.

"Dr. Weaver is on a conference call. It's running longer than she anticipated. She'll be with you as soon as she can, Dr. Kovač."

Luka rubbed his leg, it had become a nervous habit these days as much as a response to the constant discomfort, then put his head in his hands and took a deep breath. It wasn't like he was in any kind of a rush. He didn't exactly have a thousand places to go that day. His life, in the almost four months since he'd been discharged from the hospital could be most accurately described as "empty." These days he had counseling once a week with DeRaad. He'd finished physical therapy at the hospital, but went to a local gym sometimes. An occasional lunch or dinner with Susan. And endless hours sitting in his apartment, or walking in circles around the living room to keep his leg from stiffening up, as it tended to do whenever he sat too long.

He was ready. Now all he had to do was convince Kerry of that fact.

Finally the secretary answered a quiet beep on his desk phone and then said to Luka, "You can go in now, Dr. Kovač ."

Luka rose, gave his leg a minute to adjust (he'd been sitting too long), took his crutch, and entered the office. Kerry was standing behind her desk, she smiled warmly as Luka entered.

"Luka, you're looking very well."

"Thanks. I'm feeling much better."

Kerry motioned to the chair. "Have a seat."

"No, I've been sitting in your waiting room for a while. Standing is better; really."

Kerry sat down again in her own chair. "So, what can I do for you, Luka?"

"I want to come back to work. I'm ready to come back."

Kerry shuffled some papers on her desk, suddenly wouldn't meet his eyes. "I'll need to talk to DeRaad first; see what he has to say."

"Kerry, however crazy Carl may tell you that I am, I'm getting crazier sitting at home. I need to be working again. I need something to occupy my mind ... my hands. I need to be able to think about someone other than myself. All I do is sit at home."

"I'm just not sure that you're ready. I know it feels like a long time to you Luka, but you suffered some very serious injuries. Emotional issues aside, I'm not sure you're up to it physically yet."

"I'm an emergency room physician, I'm not a construction worker or a mountain climber. I have full use of my hands. I can walk. I can stand. I am fully ambulatory, with a little help from my stick. And I should be rid of that in a few months time. But you should know better than anyone, Kerry, that a slight mobility impairment does not keep a doctor from doing his job." A deep breath. "I need to work, Kerry. I can't sit at home any longer."

Kerry seemed to be studying his face for a moment, then she nodded. "I'll need to clear it with DeRaad first, but if he clears you, you can start back next week. But we're going to start slow. Two eight hour shifts a week; if you do well with that, we'll increase you to 3 after the New Year.

"Two 12's," said Luka. "Increasing to 3 after a month."

"Deal. But no trauma for that first month either. Just general medical. You've been away for a long time. And I don't want you to push yourself too hard. Don't be afraid to say something if you're finding that it's too much. We can put you on half shifts ..."

"I'll be fine, Kerry," Luka interrupted.

"Ok. Go down to the ER. Get Robert to put you on the schedule. Two shifts a week for the next four weeks." A smile. "Welcome back, Dr. Kovač."

Luka smiled back, shook the hand she offered him, didn't even flinch. "It's good to be back, Dr. Weaver."

He made his way to the elevator, pushed the button. The elevator was empty, and when he stepped inside, hit "1", he was suddenly trembling. Was he ready? Could he do this? It had been six months ... But he knew that his words to Kerry had been true. If he sat at home much longer he would start to go backwards again. Getting busy again, working again, was the best therapy for him now.

The doors opened again and he stepped out into the ER. It was bustling, as busy as always. How long had it been since he'd been here? Well over six months, since he'd been working in Africa for several weeks before he'd stopped working completely. (A slight shudder still at that memory.) He'd always made it a point, unintentionally perhaps, to avoid coming here all these months. He would never meet Susan here, meeting her instead at one of their apartments or, if they had to meet at the hospital, in a neutral place like the front lobby or ambulance bay. He just hadn't been able to face being here, seeing all his colleagues, until he could see them as equals again.

"Hey! Dr. Kovač.!" Lily had spotted him, rushed over to greet him with a smile. "You are looking great!"

"Thanks, Lily." He didn't want to deal with this now. Not yet. "Is Dr. Romano around?"

"Try curtain one." She smiled again. "Will you be back to work soon?"

"I hope so," a quick return smile, then off to curtain area one. He had some trouble finding it. They had remodeled a little bit.

Robert was there, supervising some med students casting a broken wrist. He had, Luka saw, a new prosthetic arm. It looked like a good one, but still, Luka couldn't help thinking 'There but for the grace of God ...'

"Robert," he said aloud. "Got a minute?"

"Hey, look who's back from the dead," Robert said, and they went out into the hall.

"You need to put me back on the schedule. Two shifts a week for the next month. I'll take whatever you need; weekends, nights, holidays."

"Not so fast," Robert said. "Who said you were ready to come back? You aren't looking very fit."

Luka bit back the temptation to say something about pots and kettles, saying instead "Check with Weaver. She said I could start back as soon as you can fit me in."

"Fine. You can start tomorrow night. I haven't had a Saturday night off in months. I'll have the rest of your schedule for you when you come in tomorrow."