I once thought of stopping the story but seeing the reviews, I decided to
go on. Thanks a lot. Hope you enjoy this chapter.
Kurama's POV
I went after Hiei by tracing his youki, rather than seeing where he went, which was absolutely impossible. I ran and ran, completely unaware of where I was, but suddenly, the youki stopped. I looked around and found myself in a park and it was rather empty. Hiei must have masked his youki here. Fine, I was defeated, but I would not give up until he stood in from of me.
"Hiei, come out. I know you are here," I talked, feeling rather foolish that I was speaking to the air. "I just want to apologize for what I said. I should not have suspected you that you did not trust me, and it's all my fault. I should not have exerted all my anger on you. I'm really sorry."
"You sure know how to put all the blame on yourself."
My heart skipped at his voice, and I had a queasy feeling in my stomach when he appeared in from of me. When had I become so emotional? His face was emotionless as usual, making me seem like an idiot to be so nervous. Then it just occurred to me that it had been so long since my fire demon had spoken to me face to face.
My fire demon?
"I want to stop this feud between us. I'm sor."
"Just shut up, Kurama," he cut me off and turned to face the half moon.
"That means you forgive me and won't hold the grudge against me anymore?" I asked as a ray of hope lit my voice and heart.
"Not unless you tell me what you had seen in your dreams."
I knew that it was the limit to Hiei's tolerence and one wrong move could send him away, but I just cannot tell him. I never wanted him to be swept into the whirlpool of hate and revenge Karasu had already sucked me into, never wanted to deceiver him, never wanted his words to cut so deeply and painfully into my heart. I had endured this pain for nearly two weeks and it was becoming excruciating. I was surprised that I had not been tormented to death by it.
Hiei understood my silence and without looking at me once more, disappeared, eaten by the darkness of the night.
I felt as if he was slipping away bit by bit from my grasp. At first, agony, frustration, followed by desperation, struck me, but now when I could no longer feel him in my hands anymore, every emotion was gone. I was just. empty.
No! I cannot let that happen. I tracked Hiei's youki once more and followed it, jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Finally, I found him on the peak of a skyscraper. The moon looked ever so big and near once I reached the top. He was standing with his back facing me, not at all aware of my presence as I had hid my youki. His figure silhouetted against the incomplete planet, making him look more forlorn and untouchable than ever.
I dashed forward and wrapped my arms around his firm torso. The moonlight cast onto my face and the breeze played with my hair, brushing it against Hiei's pale smooth face. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder, enjoying the moment, enjoying his presence in my embrace, his smell, his slightly disordered breathing and pounding of heart, enjoying everything about him. I expected him to push me away, but instead, he caught a wisp of my hair between his fingers.
"Don't hide your ki and come close to me, it's a bad habit."
His voice pulled me back to reality, reminding me what I must do so that he would not run away from me anymore.
"Why do you want to know what Karasu is doing to me?" I said bitterly and tightened my hold on my fire demon, afraid that he would be gone the next second.
"Because I want to know what could disturb the ruthless youko Kurama so much." I guess that was the best way for him to express his concerns.
"I told you not to call me that. You know that Karasu seeks nothing but revenge in me, and you also know what is my greatest weakness. The reason I am not telling is obvious, but why can't you understand?" my voice and my whole body shook while saying that, caused by the overflow of pain and emotion I hid all the time. Somehow, I could not pretend anymore with Hiei so close to me.
When he was around, I always felt safe enough to tear away the perfect mask I wore all the time, and allowed myself to become a kid, depending solely on his warmth as comfort. A strange feeling it is, but all too precious and vulnerable for me throw it away.
"Because Karasu wants something that belongs to me."
"What do you mean?"
"Tell me what he did first."
"In my dreams, I was all alone, so I ran, in search of you all. When I finally found you, I reached out and touched you but I killed you instead. Your blood was gushing out, as if there was no end," I shuddered at the memory. "Your eyes, they were cold and hard, blocking me all out from communicating to you. Hatred shone in them. yes, you did hate me. You said nothing but the gleam in your eyes seemed to be daggers slicing up my heart. I lost you because I tried to get near to you." my voice choked, and I felt something warm slide across my cheek to the corner of my mouth. I t was salty. Hiei was in my arms, but he seemed so far away once I recalled that dream. I buried my face in his shoulder, letting all my uncertainty flow out with my tears, dampening the material of his cloak.
"Let go of me."
"No," my words muffled but stubborn.
"I can't see you this way, baka kitsune."
I slowly let go of him, but still kept my hands on his shoulders. There was something in his tone which I could not defy. Commanding? No. More like teasing with a hint of impatience for my obstinacy.
His eyes surprised me when I saw them. They were strong and firm, telling me that nothing would happen as long as he was there. But somewhere deep in those ruby orbs, a ray of gentleness cut through the solid exterior. They made me forget my sorrow and fear.
He carefully pulled my left side lock, guiding my face so that it was level with his. I blushed as his finger touched my face and I realized how close we were. He inched even closer, and I felt him tracing the still wet tearstains on my face with the tip of his tongue. I shivered and closed my eyes as his warmth drew a line across my face.
Hiei's POV
I panicked as I saw the watery eyes and the tear stains on his face. The calm and most tolerant kitsune was crying. A blade cut through my heart, but somewhere deep down, I felt blessed at knowing that he was crying for me. I tried to look strong, because I had to be there for him. What should I do?
Intertwining my fingers in his silky hair, I pulled his face down so that we were level. The moonbeam gave his visage a special glow and also made his emerald eyes sparkle, decorated with dew-like droplets. Normally his eyes were warm but he was hiding something in them. Now the shafts of cool light showed all his hidden element - uncertainty, fear, passion, and at loss.
I ran my hand across his jaw line and held his head still, so that he could not escape. I saw him blush, and my heart pounded faster. Strange that it should pump more on such a tranquil moment.
Before I knew it, I had a salty taste on the tip of my tongue. His tears were salty, but it also had the taste of dewdrops in the morning on a red rose. It ended by his mouth, and how I longed for those soft red lips, but it was not the time. I did not want to let him think that I merely pitied him.
"Shed blood, but don't cry, kitsune. If only makes you give in to your weaker self. Besides, you won't look nice with your eyes red and puffy tomorrow." I said sarcastically and smirked.
He smiled. I led him to the side of the building and sat down, our legs dangling over the edge. He laid his head once more on my shoulder and circled his slender arms around my waist possessively, as if I would run away again. After a while of comforting silence, he was composed enough to continue with his account of the nightmares.
"I saw my mother in the dream just now. She was unconscious and her blood was being sucked out and drunk by me. The youko me," his voice was soft and smooth, and I know he had missed much detail in his description.
"I watched as youko continued drinking, but I could do nothing. I was disgusted with youko, yet that was what I used to do. I despised him, detested him and hated him, yet I knew perfectly that I was hating myself. Why am I the youko? Why did I do such things? I wanted to deny my identity, to break all the mirrors in the world so that I would not see my self again, and maybe someday I would forget who I am."
"And throw away all the memories you share with Shiroi?"
"I don't know."
"You think too much, kitsune, you are just who you are, and that will never change and never be forgotten. Accept yourself and love yourself, or you will never love others."
"Strange that it is you who are lecturing me about love."
"Because I am not in it, so I could observe it more sensibly."
"Just like the moon, overlooking everything with coldness, pretending not to car while casting its beams to give utmost comfort to the needed. It changes everyday, but it is still the same in every way. So distant, so near. I stretch out my hands but could never touch it, yet I know it is nearest to my heart. It would always be there for me."
"Hn. Whatever," I hated to admit, but he was rather accurate.
"Cone on, let's go home. Our home," he stood up and offered his hand tome. I took it, and without a word, we sped home, a blur of black and red in the middle of the night.
*
We entered the house through Kurama's open window. It must be rather late since those noisy Ningen had left. I prepared to leave for my own room when he spoke.
"Stay with me for tonight. It has been a long time since you spent the night here once you moved in." He was sitting on the bed, leaving just sufficient space for me. I stuck to the ground, unsure of what to do. I might not be able to curb my desires if I got too close to the dangerously attractive kitsune. I wanted him. Seeing me hesitate, he smiled somewhat mischievously.
"Don't worry. I won't do anything to you. Not yet."
"What do you mean?" I asked sharply and glared at him. I felt myself flush. Not good.
He pulled me over and pushed me onto the bed. He lied down beside me and snuggled up close, his garnet hair spread all over my shoulder and chest. His hair which was cut off by me had pretty much grown back. Such a vain creature.
"What did you mean when you said that I am not your friend and that Karasu wants something that belongs to you?"
"I'll tell you someday," and I watched as he drifted into a peaceful slumber, with no nightmares to haunt him.
"What are you to me.? Don't you already know that, my kitsune?"
Kurama's POV
I went after Hiei by tracing his youki, rather than seeing where he went, which was absolutely impossible. I ran and ran, completely unaware of where I was, but suddenly, the youki stopped. I looked around and found myself in a park and it was rather empty. Hiei must have masked his youki here. Fine, I was defeated, but I would not give up until he stood in from of me.
"Hiei, come out. I know you are here," I talked, feeling rather foolish that I was speaking to the air. "I just want to apologize for what I said. I should not have suspected you that you did not trust me, and it's all my fault. I should not have exerted all my anger on you. I'm really sorry."
"You sure know how to put all the blame on yourself."
My heart skipped at his voice, and I had a queasy feeling in my stomach when he appeared in from of me. When had I become so emotional? His face was emotionless as usual, making me seem like an idiot to be so nervous. Then it just occurred to me that it had been so long since my fire demon had spoken to me face to face.
My fire demon?
"I want to stop this feud between us. I'm sor."
"Just shut up, Kurama," he cut me off and turned to face the half moon.
"That means you forgive me and won't hold the grudge against me anymore?" I asked as a ray of hope lit my voice and heart.
"Not unless you tell me what you had seen in your dreams."
I knew that it was the limit to Hiei's tolerence and one wrong move could send him away, but I just cannot tell him. I never wanted him to be swept into the whirlpool of hate and revenge Karasu had already sucked me into, never wanted to deceiver him, never wanted his words to cut so deeply and painfully into my heart. I had endured this pain for nearly two weeks and it was becoming excruciating. I was surprised that I had not been tormented to death by it.
Hiei understood my silence and without looking at me once more, disappeared, eaten by the darkness of the night.
I felt as if he was slipping away bit by bit from my grasp. At first, agony, frustration, followed by desperation, struck me, but now when I could no longer feel him in my hands anymore, every emotion was gone. I was just. empty.
No! I cannot let that happen. I tracked Hiei's youki once more and followed it, jumping from rooftop to rooftop. Finally, I found him on the peak of a skyscraper. The moon looked ever so big and near once I reached the top. He was standing with his back facing me, not at all aware of my presence as I had hid my youki. His figure silhouetted against the incomplete planet, making him look more forlorn and untouchable than ever.
I dashed forward and wrapped my arms around his firm torso. The moonlight cast onto my face and the breeze played with my hair, brushing it against Hiei's pale smooth face. I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder, enjoying the moment, enjoying his presence in my embrace, his smell, his slightly disordered breathing and pounding of heart, enjoying everything about him. I expected him to push me away, but instead, he caught a wisp of my hair between his fingers.
"Don't hide your ki and come close to me, it's a bad habit."
His voice pulled me back to reality, reminding me what I must do so that he would not run away from me anymore.
"Why do you want to know what Karasu is doing to me?" I said bitterly and tightened my hold on my fire demon, afraid that he would be gone the next second.
"Because I want to know what could disturb the ruthless youko Kurama so much." I guess that was the best way for him to express his concerns.
"I told you not to call me that. You know that Karasu seeks nothing but revenge in me, and you also know what is my greatest weakness. The reason I am not telling is obvious, but why can't you understand?" my voice and my whole body shook while saying that, caused by the overflow of pain and emotion I hid all the time. Somehow, I could not pretend anymore with Hiei so close to me.
When he was around, I always felt safe enough to tear away the perfect mask I wore all the time, and allowed myself to become a kid, depending solely on his warmth as comfort. A strange feeling it is, but all too precious and vulnerable for me throw it away.
"Because Karasu wants something that belongs to me."
"What do you mean?"
"Tell me what he did first."
"In my dreams, I was all alone, so I ran, in search of you all. When I finally found you, I reached out and touched you but I killed you instead. Your blood was gushing out, as if there was no end," I shuddered at the memory. "Your eyes, they were cold and hard, blocking me all out from communicating to you. Hatred shone in them. yes, you did hate me. You said nothing but the gleam in your eyes seemed to be daggers slicing up my heart. I lost you because I tried to get near to you." my voice choked, and I felt something warm slide across my cheek to the corner of my mouth. I t was salty. Hiei was in my arms, but he seemed so far away once I recalled that dream. I buried my face in his shoulder, letting all my uncertainty flow out with my tears, dampening the material of his cloak.
"Let go of me."
"No," my words muffled but stubborn.
"I can't see you this way, baka kitsune."
I slowly let go of him, but still kept my hands on his shoulders. There was something in his tone which I could not defy. Commanding? No. More like teasing with a hint of impatience for my obstinacy.
His eyes surprised me when I saw them. They were strong and firm, telling me that nothing would happen as long as he was there. But somewhere deep in those ruby orbs, a ray of gentleness cut through the solid exterior. They made me forget my sorrow and fear.
He carefully pulled my left side lock, guiding my face so that it was level with his. I blushed as his finger touched my face and I realized how close we were. He inched even closer, and I felt him tracing the still wet tearstains on my face with the tip of his tongue. I shivered and closed my eyes as his warmth drew a line across my face.
Hiei's POV
I panicked as I saw the watery eyes and the tear stains on his face. The calm and most tolerant kitsune was crying. A blade cut through my heart, but somewhere deep down, I felt blessed at knowing that he was crying for me. I tried to look strong, because I had to be there for him. What should I do?
Intertwining my fingers in his silky hair, I pulled his face down so that we were level. The moonbeam gave his visage a special glow and also made his emerald eyes sparkle, decorated with dew-like droplets. Normally his eyes were warm but he was hiding something in them. Now the shafts of cool light showed all his hidden element - uncertainty, fear, passion, and at loss.
I ran my hand across his jaw line and held his head still, so that he could not escape. I saw him blush, and my heart pounded faster. Strange that it should pump more on such a tranquil moment.
Before I knew it, I had a salty taste on the tip of my tongue. His tears were salty, but it also had the taste of dewdrops in the morning on a red rose. It ended by his mouth, and how I longed for those soft red lips, but it was not the time. I did not want to let him think that I merely pitied him.
"Shed blood, but don't cry, kitsune. If only makes you give in to your weaker self. Besides, you won't look nice with your eyes red and puffy tomorrow." I said sarcastically and smirked.
He smiled. I led him to the side of the building and sat down, our legs dangling over the edge. He laid his head once more on my shoulder and circled his slender arms around my waist possessively, as if I would run away again. After a while of comforting silence, he was composed enough to continue with his account of the nightmares.
"I saw my mother in the dream just now. She was unconscious and her blood was being sucked out and drunk by me. The youko me," his voice was soft and smooth, and I know he had missed much detail in his description.
"I watched as youko continued drinking, but I could do nothing. I was disgusted with youko, yet that was what I used to do. I despised him, detested him and hated him, yet I knew perfectly that I was hating myself. Why am I the youko? Why did I do such things? I wanted to deny my identity, to break all the mirrors in the world so that I would not see my self again, and maybe someday I would forget who I am."
"And throw away all the memories you share with Shiroi?"
"I don't know."
"You think too much, kitsune, you are just who you are, and that will never change and never be forgotten. Accept yourself and love yourself, or you will never love others."
"Strange that it is you who are lecturing me about love."
"Because I am not in it, so I could observe it more sensibly."
"Just like the moon, overlooking everything with coldness, pretending not to car while casting its beams to give utmost comfort to the needed. It changes everyday, but it is still the same in every way. So distant, so near. I stretch out my hands but could never touch it, yet I know it is nearest to my heart. It would always be there for me."
"Hn. Whatever," I hated to admit, but he was rather accurate.
"Cone on, let's go home. Our home," he stood up and offered his hand tome. I took it, and without a word, we sped home, a blur of black and red in the middle of the night.
*
We entered the house through Kurama's open window. It must be rather late since those noisy Ningen had left. I prepared to leave for my own room when he spoke.
"Stay with me for tonight. It has been a long time since you spent the night here once you moved in." He was sitting on the bed, leaving just sufficient space for me. I stuck to the ground, unsure of what to do. I might not be able to curb my desires if I got too close to the dangerously attractive kitsune. I wanted him. Seeing me hesitate, he smiled somewhat mischievously.
"Don't worry. I won't do anything to you. Not yet."
"What do you mean?" I asked sharply and glared at him. I felt myself flush. Not good.
He pulled me over and pushed me onto the bed. He lied down beside me and snuggled up close, his garnet hair spread all over my shoulder and chest. His hair which was cut off by me had pretty much grown back. Such a vain creature.
"What did you mean when you said that I am not your friend and that Karasu wants something that belongs to you?"
"I'll tell you someday," and I watched as he drifted into a peaceful slumber, with no nightmares to haunt him.
"What are you to me.? Don't you already know that, my kitsune?"
