Chapter 20

Grief and Despair

"Dead…" Dumbledore said when they were back in his office where Moody, Mr. Weasley, and Harry had laid Tonks and Elphias' bodies carefully on the floor. Kingsley was on his way to the hospital wing. Harry's head was pounding and it unnerved him to see his friends' dead bodies in front of him. He wished Dumbledore would cover them up or something. "Tonks…Elphias…dead… And how many Death Eaters did you say you caught, Alastor?"

"At least twenty," Moody growled in reply. "I sealed off the Abyss so no one will be able to leave until the Azkaban guards get there."

"And the Crystal of Tritum?"

"Still hidden within the marked cavern. You'll find Peter Pettigrew frozen there, almost touching it."

"So Sirius' name will be cleared at long last," Dumbledore said, though grimly. Harry remained silent. "We will have the Crystal destroyed, of course, once the whole area has been searched."

Mrs. Weasley looked extremely pale underneath her scratches and bruises. Mr. Weasley apparently noticed, for he quickly ushered her out of the room and onto the landing outside the office.

Harry didn't know what to do. Moody stared down at the bodies of his comrades in disbelief. He was covered from head to toe in dirt and blood. Harry knew he probably didn't look much better. Deliberately, he looked away from Tonks and Elphias and at the books around Dumbledore's office. The headmaster stared straight at him. Harry wished he wouldn't. Outside, it was dark. Checking his watch, Harry noticed it was two in the morning.

"Harry, I must ask you something," Dumbledore said just as Mr. and Mrs. Weasley stepped back into the room. "Arthur, Molly, I suppose you had better hear this outright as well. Like always, Harry, you have achieved beyond your potential, and beyond anything I could ever ask of you. Facing Voldemort on your own free will is something few accomplish. I know you have had quite an ordeal tonight, seeing two comrades perish on the battlefront." At this, Dumbledore gestured towards the two Aurors' bodies with a saddened expression. Harry couldn't take much more of this. "I only ask one more thing of you: I ask that you make an appearance at breakfast tomorrow morning where I will announce to the student body what you did tonight and what happened to Tonks aandMisters Malfoy and Lyons. They will most certainly be expelled after this."

"Albus, you can't ask this of Harry!" Mrs. Weasley interrupted. "He's been through enough tonight and he's not ready to face the school just yet!"

"I am aware of your concern, Molly, but I am afraid this has to be done. The students need to understand, and I want Harry there when I explain it to them."

"But so soon!"

"It is necessary they know immediately. Ignorance is something the human race has never had the ability to conquer. I intend to change that."

"Dumbledore?"

"Yes, Alastor?"

"What about the Order? We must call a meeting immediately."

"Not until the school year is over. My headmaster duties come first. Keep tabs on the Lyons family as well as the Malfoys. We cannot trust them any longer.

"I will wake Minerva and Severus. Minerva will wake Mr. and Miss Weasley and Miss Granger. Wait right here, Harry, until I return."

"I see no use for me here any longer, Dumbledore. I'll just take Tonks and Elphias here…"

"Kingsley should be back to his senses by now. I will inform him to go back to Grimmauld Place. We can't risk knowledge of the Order leaking out around the school."

"Right. So a meeting at Grimmauld Place then?"

"At dawn on Wednesday."

"I'll tell the others." Moody waved at the others and disappeared with Tonks and Elphias.

Dumbledore left the office, leaving Harry alone with the Weasleys. They remained silent, although Mrs. Weasley frequently reached forward to flatten Harry's hair. Harry's mind raced; all he could think about was lying down on his four-poster upstairs and taking a long, luxurious nap. He didn't want to deal with this right now, especially in front of Ron, Hermione, Ginny, McGonagall, and Snape.

Soon, Dumbledore reentered the room, Snape following behind in his usual black robes. "Minerva should be here soon with the others." Sure enough, Professor McGonagall came into the room wearing a light pink bathrobe with purple slippers, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny following behind wearing their pajamas. Harry could tell none of them had gotten much sleep.

"Mum? Dad? What are you doing here?" Ron asked upon seeing his parents dirty, bruised, and bloody. "Wait…you—you went to the Abyss of the Enemy? Without telling us?" Mr. Weasley nodded.

"Oh, Mum!" Ginny exclaimed, running up and hugging her mother.

"Harry, please retell your story," Dumbledore said, listening intently. With Mr. and Mrs. Weasley's help, Harry retold his story about the Abyss of the Enemy, from beginning to end.

"You mean Tonks is—is gone?" Hermione asked, fighting back tears.

"I'm afraid so," the headmaster replied, bowing his head.

Eventually, Harry finished his tale. He was glad, for Hermione and Ginny had tears running down their faces. Snape and McGonagall had remained silent through the whole interview. "Poppy won't like this at all, but Harry, please return to your dormitory tonight and get what sleep you can. After breakfast tomorrow, you may go to the hospital wing and have her check you over. Mr. Weasley, please accompany him. Good night." Mr. and Mrs. Weasley smiled sadly at Harry as he passed, Ron right behind him.

Harry gladly lay on his four-poster when he got back to the dormitory, but found he couldn't sleep. He hadn't eaten since lunch the day before, but he wasn't hungry. He felt hollow inside, and didn't know what to do about it. After an hour and a half of restless twisting and turning, he sat up, dug out his Invisibility Cloak, and walked out the door.

Harry did not know where he was going to go, but he knew it had to be somewhere where he could face the torture that ate him up inside.

I don't feel like flying, or else I'd go get my Firebolt… Harry thought to himself. I can't go to Dumbledore's office, since McGonagall and Snape are probably still there…I would go talk to Dobby, but not today; not now… Then it hit him: Tonks' office. He knew she wasn't there anymore, but no one would interrupt him. He could grieve in peace. Silently, he turned left into the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, walked to the front, and climbed the stairs in the direction of the office. He stood in front of it for a moment, contemplating what would become of the Order and what would become of him this summer and next year. He reached out and opened the door.

Harry wasn't at all surprised to find Tonks didn't lock her office door. Slowly, he pushed the door open, walked in, and closed it behind him.

Tonks had been so unique; so different from all the other teachers and Aurors Harry had met. He looked around the room at the purple curtains, the Weird Sisters posters, and her desk piled with exams waiting for her to correct. Harry couldn't take much more. He fell into one of the purple chairs, put his arms on the desk, and his head fell on top of them as he started to cry.

Two hours later, Harry woke up, his head still on Tonks' desk. He stood up and walked out of the office knowing he looked dreadful. Harry noticed dried blood still caked on his arm and his robes still torn and dirty. As he walked through the halls of Hogwarts, a few early-risers looked at him with suspicion and curiosity. Harry chose to ignore them.

He didn't want to face the student body today. It was too early and too soon. Having nothing better to do, however, he walked in the direction of the Gryffindor tower. Before he turned the corner, Harry heard familiar voices, those of Ron and Hermione.

"Where could he be?" Hermione asked frantically.

"Somewhere in the castle, I'd presume."

"Ron, I know that, it's just that we don't know where Harry ran off to!"

Not knowing if he wanted to face his best friends or not, Harry tentatively turned the corner and headed straight for them. "Looking for me?" he managed to ask weakly.

"Harry! We were so worried!" Hermione exclaimed. Suddenly Harry didn't want company. He just wanted them to leave him alone.

"You look terrible, mate. Maybe you should get cleaned up before breakfast," Ron said.

"That's right. Breakfast," Harry said hollowly. He just wanted to sleep. He should have slept more.

"Is there anything we can do?" Hermione asked hesitantly.

"No. I'll just clean up before breakfast. I'll follow you in a couple minutes."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Just give me a bit and I'll be right down."

Harry looked in the mirror at his face. There were scratches everywhere, dirt smudges on his right cheek, and his eyes had gotten puffier overnight. He showered and washed his face the best he could, but nothing could wash away the renewed sadness for Tonks and hatred accumulated for Voldemort the night before. Sighing, he pulled on his robes and walked down to the Great Hall.

"As you can see, we are missing several students and a teacher from our midst," Dumbledore started heavily after the student body had finished breakfast. Harry purposely kept on staring down at the table. He hadn't eaten anything and didn't want to see the attention focus on him again. "I will be honest and frank with you, as you all must understand what has happened before you leave school this year. Tonks has died, and Mr. Draco Malfoy and Mr. Zachary Lyons have been expelled for assisting Lord Voldemort in obtaining valuable information." A wave of frightened whispers filled the Hall. Dumbledore again called order by raising his hand. "Last night, Mr. Harry Potter traveled to the Abyss of the Enemy on his own free will to help the Aurors stop Voldemort from acquiring a power that could have destroyed the world as we know it." Everyone in the Great Hall craned their necks to get a look at Harry. He felt himself blush, and continued to pick at the table. "Harry succeeded, but not without a great loss.

"Few of you knew Tonks for over a year, but I'm sure in your brief acquaintance, you have found that she was an intelligent, courageous, vibrant, and fun-loving young woman. She was one of the best Aurors I have ever known. She died facing Lord Voldemort, fighting for a noble cause. Consider yourselves fortunate to have known her.

"We caught Misters Lyons and Malfoy passing information to Voldemort through a map of the Abyss of the Enemy. It plotted exactly where the source of power was located. Naturally, their expulsion is yet another loss, but use it as a lesson showing us we must unite against Lord Voldemort." At this, Harry glanced in the direction of the Slytherin table. Sure enough, Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson looked up at Dumbledore with a great disgust. Down the Gryffindor table, Harry heard one of Zachary Lyons' groupies burst out into sobs.

"O.W.L. and N.E.W.T. exams will continue tomorrow, for the futures of our fifth and seventh year students, but all other final exams will be canceled. Remember the lessons you learned from Tonks. Honor her memory." At this, Dumbledore stood up and raised his goblet. "Nymphadora Tonks," he said loudly and clearly while looking gloomily at her empty seat at the staff table.

All students (including most Slytherins) and staff members followed suit. Benches scraped on the floor as they stood up, raising their goblets. "Nymphadora Tonks," the school mumbled in reply, many people with tears in their eyes.

The mood of Hogwarts was bleak for the next week as the fifth and seventh years completed their exams. The Quidditch cup remained in Professor McGonagall's office since the championship match occurred before Malfoy and Lyons had left the school. Harry had been overjoyed, but now his favorite sport wasn't there to keep him occupied. People constantly asked him about the Abyss of the Enemy, but he told them he couldn't talk about it. He spent his days either avoiding people altogether or playing wizard chess with Ron. The days kept dragging on and on…

Finally, the week ended. Harry packed his trunk and unwillingly walked down to the feast with Ron and Hermione. Ever since that night when Harry had gone to the Abyss, they avoided the subject. Harry was glad, but that didn't stop others from pestering him to tell them about it.

Before they entered the Great Hall, Ron stopped them. "There's something I want to tell you two before we go in there," he said nervously. "I've decided that I'm going to take that five-year Auror course through the Ministry after we graduate. I figure I'll—I'll help you, Harry. We're going to need some Aurors to replace the ones we've lost anyway and it's a way I can help." He paused. "What do you think?"

"It's a great idea, Ron," Harry said, a smile spreading across his face for the first time in weeks. "You'll make a great Auror." Ron blushed a deep red.

"Come to think of it," Hermione said, concentrating hard, "I think I'll take that course too. I mean, there can never be too many Aurors, can there?" Harry's smile only widened.

The next day, Hogwarts students loaded the train to go back home for the holidays. Hagrid caught Harry before he left. "Harry, yeh've done well this year. Not tha' yeh don' every year, but with everything goin' on…yeh did it. Yeh goin' back to Grimmauld Place then?"

"Yes. Since Sirius left it to me in his will and I don't have the Dursleys to go back to anymore, Professor Dumbledore thinks it best that I go to Grimmauld Place where Aurors will be able to keep a watch on me."

Hagrid pulled Harry into a one-armed hug. "I may jus' come to Grimmauld Place to visit yeh sometime this summer. Dumbledore thinks I can do some work fer the Order an' all. Take care, Harry." With that, the train whistle blew and Harry followed Ron and Hermione onto one of the scarlet cars. They waved at Hagrid until they couldn't see him any longer.

Mrs. Weasley, Moody, and Hermione's parents greeted the trio on Platform 9 ¾. "All right there, Potter?" Moody growled from under his bowler hat that covered his magical eye.

"Yes."

"I'll take you to Grimmauld Place, then. Miss Granger and the Weasleys will join you later in the summer. Right, Molly?"

"That's correct, Alastor. Harry, do take care of yourself, won't you?" she asked as she hugged Harry tightly.

"I will, Mrs. Weasley."

"We're off then, Potter," Moody obviously wanted to leave the platform as soon as possible, so Harry quickly said his goodbyes to Ron, Hermione, and Ginny.

"Take care, mate," Ron said, slapping his best friend on the back.

"Bye Harry, and please be careful," Hermione said nervously, almost in the same manner Mrs. Weasley had.

"See you later, Harry," Ginny added.

Harry followed Moody, not knowing what he was getting himself into nor what would happen to him next year. All he could do was hope. Hope for a happier life and hope for a more peaceful world.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The end! That's the first novel-sized story I've actually finished! What did you think? Did you enjoy it? Please send comments my way through a review. Thanks for reading!

Oh, and I guess I forgot to mention that I'm already almost halfway done with a seventh year following up this story (Harry Potter and the Life of Another), so I'm not trying to be mean or anything by having a cliff hanger ending, just a follow-up story! So please read on…