In the later part of the story, I made Kurama talk about Hiei using "you"
instead of "he", so that it seems that Kurama is talking to Hiei although
he is not there. If you think it is strange, tell me and I will change it.
As for the poetry, I did not write according to the tempo and rhythm for a
formal poem to achieve more feeling and freedom. (you could also say that I
am too lazy to obey the formal stuff)
I walked on a road, A road that I could not see But I had to keep on, without stopping. Darkness enveloped me. No, I was part of it.
The rain lashed at my face Every part of me that I could touch My hands and feet were numb. Was I cold? No, a person who never knew warmth would not feel cold.
The wind caressed my hair Sending my cloak afloat. I saw a wind chime But no sound came; it was broken. No, there was only a lone piece of metal on it.
I reached the center of a frozen lake, The ice thinner than paper. I dare not take one more step Afraid the surrounding would shatter. No, it was an excuse to stop the pointless journey.
You stepped onto the ice with the weight of a feather And embraced me With touch like rose petals glazing my skin. Was it desire you make me feel? No, it was warmth I never knew and never wanted.
We were still, but the ice broke Tearing you away from me. Emotions I never had before Surged through my mind. No, they were always there, just undiscovered.
I held on to your hand as tightly as I could But the force of the water was prying us apart. I felt my hand slipping away And as the presence of your fingertip left mine. I could hold you no more. No, I could still do that, by clutching to the memories we shared Never to let go again, As you existed only in them now.
I embarked on the road once more, The road that I could not see. Darkness ate me up as always, Yet something was wrong. No, I was not who I was anymore.
The rain lashed at me mercilessly, Just like before. Now it chilled me to the bones, Toe the heart. No, a person who had known warmth could not withstand the cold.
The wind sifted through my hair Carrying with it a heartbroken requiem Made up of the tinkling of wind chimes. There were tow pieces of metals on it now. No, being side by side did not create any happy melody.
I walked on Replaying the precious memories in m y mind, Memories of you, Of you when you were, for a split second, mine. No, you were never mine, and never will be.
* Kurama's POV
I woke up and looked groggily around. The clock read 10 am.
"Wow, I slept for so long." I surveyed the room again. Something felt wrong; something was missing. Yes, I could not sense Hiei's youki in any part of the house.
"Maybe he went out for a walk," I consoled my self, trying to cover the hollow feeling in my heat, but I climbed out of bed quickly and rushed downstairs, not even bothering to groom. Hiei had left me for long periods before, but I would always have a subconscious knowledge of where he was and whether he was hurt. It was as if there was a thread that joined out hearts together. Now, the thread was cut. I did not know why, and had not the slightest idea of where he was. I know that was the fact, but refused to let the reality sink in.
"Hiei must be here somewhere," I searched his room, and soon dashed into the kitchen, "he promised that he would not leave, he promised," my voice chocked up with desperation.
"Shuuichi, are you alright? What are you looking for?" Shiori's voice called out from behind me.
I turned and saw the concerned face of my mother, but also the visage of the person who haunted me just last night. Hatred and disgust floated to the top of my mind, but was soon pushed down by my frantic desire to at least know where Hiei was.
"I'm fine. Do you know where Hiei is? I mean, did you see him this morning?" I tried not to sound too anxious, but my words still came out jumbled up without making any sense.
"No, I haven't, dear. I thought he's still asleep," she replied and her frown deepened, "is he gone?"
"Well, sort of. I'll go look for him outside," I said and squeezed out a smile before brushing past her hurriedly, eager to get out into the place where Hiei was. Suddenly, I found my self in a light embrace with my head on her shoulder. I froze, reliving through the horrible memories of last night.
"Calm down, Shuuichi. I know that you are worried about Hiei, but he must have reasons for his departure. There's no point meeting him when he is not ready for you yet. Don't put it too hard on both of you. Just wait for him, and I believe he will be back, no matter how much time has passed. People you love always will."
I relaxed a little into her hug. Yes, she was Shiori. "I know, Kaasan," but she did not know the main problem. It was not whether Hiei was ready to meet me or not, rather that I needed Hiei now, more than anyone in the world, and yet he was not there, he did not keep his promise. Where are you? Where are you? My mind yelled out again and again, the sound vibrated through the darkness, answering me with only my empty echoes.
"If you want to find him, it's ok. Just don't be home too late," she released me and flashed me a smile I was so familiar with, but when would it change into a loathing smirk? I did not feel like facing her.
*
a few minutes later, I was out on the street buried in the crowd of people. I wound my way between them, not wanting to reduce my self to pushing people onto the ground yet. My progress was slow, and soon, my patience was wearing thin, and only had the enough sanity to stop myself form drawing out my rose whip to clear the road ahead.
Finally, I arrived in front of Yusuke's door.
"Yusuke, have you seen Hiei?" I almost shouted at the drowsy teenager who took 3 minutes just to come to the door.
"Hey, calm down. No, I haven't. Isn't he with you?"
I was buried in the hustle and bustle of people again, turning my head once so often in hope of catching a glimpse of the black hair with a white star shape in the middle, or a pair of flaming scarlet irises. I knew all so clearly in the bottom of my heart that he was not there, but I denied the truth. I was chasing Hiei and escaping the reality. All my fear was transformed into boundless energy to keep me running, and if I stop, the liquid of dread invades my veins, freezes me up ad shatters me into a million pieces, upon hitting a rock. That rock was Hiei.
"Kuwabara, have you seen Hiei?"
"Huh? That shrimp? Why.(yawn) would he come to me.(yawn)?"
I still had on destination left, and where would I go after that? This Ningen world alone was big enough, not counting Makai and Reikai. Why were there so many people, when every one of them was right by me, but of no real importance at all, when you, the only one I needed, were gone? Why did you leave? I was confused. I was lost.
"Genkai-san, have you seen Hiei?"
"I don't sense his youki within 100m diameter form the place I a m standing. What to got to Makai?"
"Thank you."
A gust of wind blew past, carrying the smell of blood, rotten flesh of thousands of years, vengeance and the urge to kill, but something was missing in it. You were not in there, you were not in any part of the vast landscape my eyes could not even see the end. My longing for you broke free, taking the form of a wretching yell, brought away by the same current of air over hundreds of miles. Could you catch it?
"Look what we've got here. Such a pretty redhead, and a Ningen body too. Must be delicious." A foul odour filled my senses, and I felt tiny groups of youki approaching me. Mostly class D and below, but tens of thousands of them were coming.
"What was he screaming about anyway? Lost his mate?"
"ROSE WHIP!!" in a flash, the ten or so youkai around me were split into half by the waist. I did not stop, did not want to and could not, as I lashed y whip out in swift and violent moves, one after another, continuous like the rushing water. I merely heard the wind as I cut through it, felt the blood splash onto me as I cut into the flesh. They did not even have the time to shout out their agony. Pathetic creatures. The air was soon saturated by the reek of the dead; my clothes were almost drenched with blood; the dusty ground made muddy by the freshly shed liquids. I couldn't have cared less.
I ran into the forest, totally ignoring the traps I know clearly of, just wanting to run in that straight line to the end of the world. I fell, stood up; caught in some plants, destroyed them. I kept running, not knowing where I was heading, not knowing how long I had been running, not tending to the injuries I acquired, letting them accumulate to wear me out.
A vine wrapped itself tightly around my ankle, its thorns digging deep into my flesh, I fell onto the ground, into the mud, and all strength left me, my rose whip was reduced to a brilliant red rose, its petals matched my flowing blood.
"You promised that you won't leave me, no matter what. Why did you break the vow?" I whispered, as I finally let the truth sink in. You left on purpose, you were hiding from me. Was it because I was dirty? Then why did you still hug me, still murmured those comforting words in my ear, still caressed me as if you loved me when you were disgusted instead? I did not understand. Why did you lie to me?
You lied to me, you hurt me, and yet every time I call you name, think of you, I could not bring myself to hate you. Then in what form should my love for you take? Anger?
I closed my fingers around the stem of the rose, snapping the brittle thing while its thorns planted themselves in my flesh. I crushed its blooming bulb in my palm, the petals strewn all around me.
Was that how our love looks like?
I walked on a road, A road that I could not see But I had to keep on, without stopping. Darkness enveloped me. No, I was part of it.
The rain lashed at my face Every part of me that I could touch My hands and feet were numb. Was I cold? No, a person who never knew warmth would not feel cold.
The wind caressed my hair Sending my cloak afloat. I saw a wind chime But no sound came; it was broken. No, there was only a lone piece of metal on it.
I reached the center of a frozen lake, The ice thinner than paper. I dare not take one more step Afraid the surrounding would shatter. No, it was an excuse to stop the pointless journey.
You stepped onto the ice with the weight of a feather And embraced me With touch like rose petals glazing my skin. Was it desire you make me feel? No, it was warmth I never knew and never wanted.
We were still, but the ice broke Tearing you away from me. Emotions I never had before Surged through my mind. No, they were always there, just undiscovered.
I held on to your hand as tightly as I could But the force of the water was prying us apart. I felt my hand slipping away And as the presence of your fingertip left mine. I could hold you no more. No, I could still do that, by clutching to the memories we shared Never to let go again, As you existed only in them now.
I embarked on the road once more, The road that I could not see. Darkness ate me up as always, Yet something was wrong. No, I was not who I was anymore.
The rain lashed at me mercilessly, Just like before. Now it chilled me to the bones, Toe the heart. No, a person who had known warmth could not withstand the cold.
The wind sifted through my hair Carrying with it a heartbroken requiem Made up of the tinkling of wind chimes. There were tow pieces of metals on it now. No, being side by side did not create any happy melody.
I walked on Replaying the precious memories in m y mind, Memories of you, Of you when you were, for a split second, mine. No, you were never mine, and never will be.
* Kurama's POV
I woke up and looked groggily around. The clock read 10 am.
"Wow, I slept for so long." I surveyed the room again. Something felt wrong; something was missing. Yes, I could not sense Hiei's youki in any part of the house.
"Maybe he went out for a walk," I consoled my self, trying to cover the hollow feeling in my heat, but I climbed out of bed quickly and rushed downstairs, not even bothering to groom. Hiei had left me for long periods before, but I would always have a subconscious knowledge of where he was and whether he was hurt. It was as if there was a thread that joined out hearts together. Now, the thread was cut. I did not know why, and had not the slightest idea of where he was. I know that was the fact, but refused to let the reality sink in.
"Hiei must be here somewhere," I searched his room, and soon dashed into the kitchen, "he promised that he would not leave, he promised," my voice chocked up with desperation.
"Shuuichi, are you alright? What are you looking for?" Shiori's voice called out from behind me.
I turned and saw the concerned face of my mother, but also the visage of the person who haunted me just last night. Hatred and disgust floated to the top of my mind, but was soon pushed down by my frantic desire to at least know where Hiei was.
"I'm fine. Do you know where Hiei is? I mean, did you see him this morning?" I tried not to sound too anxious, but my words still came out jumbled up without making any sense.
"No, I haven't, dear. I thought he's still asleep," she replied and her frown deepened, "is he gone?"
"Well, sort of. I'll go look for him outside," I said and squeezed out a smile before brushing past her hurriedly, eager to get out into the place where Hiei was. Suddenly, I found my self in a light embrace with my head on her shoulder. I froze, reliving through the horrible memories of last night.
"Calm down, Shuuichi. I know that you are worried about Hiei, but he must have reasons for his departure. There's no point meeting him when he is not ready for you yet. Don't put it too hard on both of you. Just wait for him, and I believe he will be back, no matter how much time has passed. People you love always will."
I relaxed a little into her hug. Yes, she was Shiori. "I know, Kaasan," but she did not know the main problem. It was not whether Hiei was ready to meet me or not, rather that I needed Hiei now, more than anyone in the world, and yet he was not there, he did not keep his promise. Where are you? Where are you? My mind yelled out again and again, the sound vibrated through the darkness, answering me with only my empty echoes.
"If you want to find him, it's ok. Just don't be home too late," she released me and flashed me a smile I was so familiar with, but when would it change into a loathing smirk? I did not feel like facing her.
*
a few minutes later, I was out on the street buried in the crowd of people. I wound my way between them, not wanting to reduce my self to pushing people onto the ground yet. My progress was slow, and soon, my patience was wearing thin, and only had the enough sanity to stop myself form drawing out my rose whip to clear the road ahead.
Finally, I arrived in front of Yusuke's door.
"Yusuke, have you seen Hiei?" I almost shouted at the drowsy teenager who took 3 minutes just to come to the door.
"Hey, calm down. No, I haven't. Isn't he with you?"
I was buried in the hustle and bustle of people again, turning my head once so often in hope of catching a glimpse of the black hair with a white star shape in the middle, or a pair of flaming scarlet irises. I knew all so clearly in the bottom of my heart that he was not there, but I denied the truth. I was chasing Hiei and escaping the reality. All my fear was transformed into boundless energy to keep me running, and if I stop, the liquid of dread invades my veins, freezes me up ad shatters me into a million pieces, upon hitting a rock. That rock was Hiei.
"Kuwabara, have you seen Hiei?"
"Huh? That shrimp? Why.(yawn) would he come to me.(yawn)?"
I still had on destination left, and where would I go after that? This Ningen world alone was big enough, not counting Makai and Reikai. Why were there so many people, when every one of them was right by me, but of no real importance at all, when you, the only one I needed, were gone? Why did you leave? I was confused. I was lost.
"Genkai-san, have you seen Hiei?"
"I don't sense his youki within 100m diameter form the place I a m standing. What to got to Makai?"
"Thank you."
A gust of wind blew past, carrying the smell of blood, rotten flesh of thousands of years, vengeance and the urge to kill, but something was missing in it. You were not in there, you were not in any part of the vast landscape my eyes could not even see the end. My longing for you broke free, taking the form of a wretching yell, brought away by the same current of air over hundreds of miles. Could you catch it?
"Look what we've got here. Such a pretty redhead, and a Ningen body too. Must be delicious." A foul odour filled my senses, and I felt tiny groups of youki approaching me. Mostly class D and below, but tens of thousands of them were coming.
"What was he screaming about anyway? Lost his mate?"
"ROSE WHIP!!" in a flash, the ten or so youkai around me were split into half by the waist. I did not stop, did not want to and could not, as I lashed y whip out in swift and violent moves, one after another, continuous like the rushing water. I merely heard the wind as I cut through it, felt the blood splash onto me as I cut into the flesh. They did not even have the time to shout out their agony. Pathetic creatures. The air was soon saturated by the reek of the dead; my clothes were almost drenched with blood; the dusty ground made muddy by the freshly shed liquids. I couldn't have cared less.
I ran into the forest, totally ignoring the traps I know clearly of, just wanting to run in that straight line to the end of the world. I fell, stood up; caught in some plants, destroyed them. I kept running, not knowing where I was heading, not knowing how long I had been running, not tending to the injuries I acquired, letting them accumulate to wear me out.
A vine wrapped itself tightly around my ankle, its thorns digging deep into my flesh, I fell onto the ground, into the mud, and all strength left me, my rose whip was reduced to a brilliant red rose, its petals matched my flowing blood.
"You promised that you won't leave me, no matter what. Why did you break the vow?" I whispered, as I finally let the truth sink in. You left on purpose, you were hiding from me. Was it because I was dirty? Then why did you still hug me, still murmured those comforting words in my ear, still caressed me as if you loved me when you were disgusted instead? I did not understand. Why did you lie to me?
You lied to me, you hurt me, and yet every time I call you name, think of you, I could not bring myself to hate you. Then in what form should my love for you take? Anger?
I closed my fingers around the stem of the rose, snapping the brittle thing while its thorns planted themselves in my flesh. I crushed its blooming bulb in my palm, the petals strewn all around me.
Was that how our love looks like?
