Sorry for the delay. Shizuru (Kuwabara's sister) will reappear in this
chapter. Don't forget her, she appeared in chapter 9 before) There will be
two more chapters, and I think most won't be satisfied with the ending. But
don't forget, there's the second of the anthology.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 17: Night of Anticipation; Night of Dread
I never found enough courage to go on to the next day I never want to let go of the happiness of tonight I never want to let go of you But in order to do so, I must face tomorrow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kurama's POV
I sat on my bed as I heard the water started running in the bathroom. Hiei was taking a bath. He was back, but Shiori was gone. I could heart he broken sobs coming from the other rooms, as my stepfather and stepbrother mourn over Shiori, who, Hiei explained as expressionlessly as possible, died form a car crash.
The pain of the past 24 hours still lingered in my mind, but I must move on, only to be hurt by the next era.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(flashback)
"Are you sure you want to carry out the mission tomorrow?" Koenma asked seriously.
"If you don't want another rose growing out of you, then go ahead and delay," Hiei threatened. Although his voice was still weak, the power hidden in it was unmistakable. He had his head on my shoulder.
"Fine, then come to my office tomorrow morning. The only way to get to the dimension is by death, so I will give you tow poison. If your soul gets to split into two, I would keep the remaining soul without its most important part. No matter you complete the mission or not, I will revive you, but I don't know how to join the souls back together, so I don't know what would be left of you. Are you prepared for this?"
"Isn't using a katana for death easier?" Hiei asked back, a hint of challenge in his tone.
"No! It is not! I don't' want to revive you finally and you die again because of overflow of blood from the wound!"
"Koenma, why can't Kuwabara and I go too?" Yusuke complained while tending to the cuts I caused him.
"Because this mission is too great a risk, and I can't afford to lose all four of you. Besides, Kurama and Hiei are more experienced, so they are unlikely to act on the spur of the moment. Do you get me?!" Koenma demanded harshly.
"Ok, ok. Getting all bossy because of that stupid rose," Yusuke muttered under his breath. Luckily the prince didn't catch it.
"Don't make me repeat myself" Hiei answered for me also. Somehow I did not want to talk. I felt guilty for keeping the true reason I wanted to go on the mission form them all, especially Hiei. Sorry, even though I knew a thousand would not be enough.
(end of flashback)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Kurama, don't stare into space. It is too easy for others to know what you are thinking that way."
I looked up and found Hiei with nothing but a towel around his waist, droplets water sill visible in his ebony hair. His ivory complexion seemed to glow softly in the dark room, and I couldn't help bur remember how comforting it was to touch it. The room suddenly felt like an inferno, and my face flushed red. I should not be feeling this way when the situation was so critical, but I could not control my furiously pumping heart to slow down.
"H . . . Hiei, put some clothes on," I said as I averted my gaze onto the bed, but that only made things worse.
"Kurama, tell me why you want so eagerly to go on the mission. You know I have been covering for you in front of Koenma. What are you hiding?" I could feel his eyes burning into me, and I was breaking down under his pressure.
"What are you talking about?" I frowned and clutched the bed sheets, watching intently as I toyed with it, trying my best to not look at him. " You know I won't hide thing from you," I like, with a sick feeling in my stomach.
"Hn. It's fine if you don't want to tell me," he said as he sat down next to me on the bed. I net his eyes, and found myself unable to pull away from the scarlet irises. I moved unconsciously, and soon I was against the wall, my head trapped with Hiei's arms on each side, my body trapped with weight on it.
"Kurama, I just want you to know that," he leaned in closer and his cheek brushed against mine as he whispered in my ear, "if you don't' get out of this mission alive, I will never forgive you." With that, he rose and tuned away. I caught his arm before he got down the bed. I didn't know why I did that. I didn't even know what I was feeling.
"Where are you going, Hiei?" I didn't let go.
"To put on some clothes as you said, baka kitsune." I didn't want to let go. If I did, would he slip away just like Shiori did? The way she called my name as if her life depended on it; the way she struggled; the last spark of life put out as her hand lost its strength; the way I lost her forever . . . I would never let go again.
"Hiei, I'm scared. I don't want to lost once more. I want Shiori back with me," I pleaded as tears rushed to my eyes.
"She's dead." His reply was short and cold, and he tried to jerk his arm away. I tightened my grip and pulled him into my embrace. I pressed him close and felt his cool skin against my burning face.
"Kitsune, she is dead. Get over it. Even if there is a way to bring her back, don't do it. What is done is done, and there's no point in changing anything," he said and ran his hand through my hair in a soothing way. His words hit my heart.
"So you render revenge useless? So what I am doing is wrong?"
"Revenge itself is meaningless. It is just a way people try to let out their regrets and guilt. Do you really think the dead could see anything? Let alone feeling happy when someone else is killed. Don't do things because you regret, but because you want to prevent the regret."
"Then don't make me regret, Hiei. Don't ever leave me. The guilt was suffocating me when you almost died today."
"I can make no promise of that kind, for it is not in my power to control. I may leave you tomorrow, but I am grateful enough to have known you for so long. Nothing is eternal, just treasure what you have now."
"I know that, but it still hurts to admit the truth. In reality, everything is painful." I gently kissed his neck, and soon, a red mark formed that matched the one on me. The crimson against his fair complexion stood out even more, just like a plum blossom on the fresh winter snow. I loved it, although I would fade in a few days.
I gradually pressed Hiei onto the bed. I never wanted the next day to arrive; I was unsure of what would happen. I was afraid; I was lost. I didn't want to leave the secure arms of Hiei that encircled me, and yet, tomorrow comes along without delay. I knew I had to face it, had to fight again, so that I might have one more moment with my beloved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shizuru's POV
I didn't know how long it had been since I came here. There was no time, no sun to tell you that it was daytime, nor a moon to inform you of the night. Not that it mattered anymore. It would be night when Sakyo came back, and day when he left. But recently, I had been having a weird feeling that this would not last any longer, that it was time for me to go back.
The wall opened up, and Sakyo came back, blood soaking through his shirt and pants as usual, but not even a single bruise could be found on him. I was once too curious and took a peak at the outside, though he told me not to. I should have listened.
The sight was gruesome. The reek of blood poured into my senses, unable to be driven away. Crimson almost flooded the floor, not even having the time to solidify before fresh ones run over it. Broken limbs lay everywhere, all newly cut, and on one arm, the fingers were still moving. Organs were spilled over the ground; a few sick shades of purple among the red.
Hideous monsters stood everywhere, every type of torture weapon imaginable in their hands. Souls were trudging along, carrying huge boulders on their backs. The monsters lashed their whips, baton, and guns at the souls, and with every hellish scream came new paint to cover the floor. The sounds never end, vibrating through the vast torture chamber, joined together with other dying whispers and laughter of insane ecstasy, forming an elegy that never stopped ringing in my mind ever since.
The souls were tortured to extreme that they were dying, and how I hoped that they wound, but no. Their bodies turned limp, but their senses keened, doubling the excruciating pain they felt. At the end of the day, they would go through the wall to their respective cells, and by then, the wounds, the broken limbs, would have all been cured and grown back. It was not mercy, but rather to let them get ready for the fresh round of bloodshed the next day. Death was no longer an escape; there was no escape.
"Shizure, are you feeling well?" His words and touch brought me back from my thoughts, but that elegy still rang faintly in the back of my head. His clothes were back to that dead grey colour, and it appeared as if nothing ever happened.
"No, I'm fine, but I've been having premonitions that I . . . might soon be going back . . ." I said and looked into his eyes sadly. But he smiled and took me in his arms. "It is best for you to go. This place doesn't deserve you, and you should not be forcing yourself to stay because of me. I have been way too selfish to keep you mine for so long. It is time . . ."
"But I chose to come here, and I really am happy here with you."
"No, you are not. Don't lie to yourself. You have made me understand what is important to me, so now I know what others feel like to have lost you. It is a little late for me in this life already, so go back, when it is still not too late for you."
"But I can't just leave you here! You will die, no, I mean, you would never feel happy again!"
"Promise me, go back and live your life to the fullest, and I will feel your content. That is enough; that is all I deserve. But no matter how long we part, keep the hope burning in your heart, and someday it will bring us together again. Before that, don't ever allow yourself to cry; don't ever be weak; don't make me worry."
The tears from my heart landed on his should. "What about you? You can never get out of here!"
"No, I will. After the long years of punishment Koenma set for me are over, I will be able to reincarnate, I will be able to go and find you. The torment here is only temporary. Nothing of it can compare to the life I led before."
"But . . . but . . ." I could find nothing to say. He kept silent also, as I wept on his shoulder. There wasn't anything that I could do anymore, but pray that tomorrow would not be the day I would leave; that tomorrow would be the day I meet him once more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hiei's POV
"Yukina-san, can you please keep this for us while we are away?" Kurama asked, as he took out a delicate bag filled with our tear gems from the last night and the night before. We stopped by Genkai's temple before going to Reikai just for this.
"Sure, but can I see what's in there? So that at least I know what to search for I if accidentally lost it," she said as she received the pouch. Kurama smiled and nodded in approval, while I stood beside, pretending not to be looking and listening.
"Wow! These are tear gems, aren't they? How did you get them, especially the red ones?"
"Hmm . . . Hiei just happened to find them when he once traveled to the koorime's homeland in search of your brother."
"Then you are really lucky! Legends say that red tear gems are formed when the tears of two destined lovers, who one of them is a koorime, are mixed together, and the lovers who created them or possess them will never be separated. My mother used to have one, but she showed to no one but me. She was afraid that it was going to be discarded just like my brother," she said and lowered her head, "so I'm really glad that you found 'them', Hiei- san," her sweet smile returned and she beamed at me knowingly.
"Thanks, Yukina-san. We have to go now." Kurama bid farewell and instead of leaving first, I followed him this time, lingering behind just enough to hear what she murmured to herself.
"Yes, I really am glad for you, because these gems only exist as a legend to the koorime . . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We reached Koenma's office and saw two small bottles of limpid fluid on his desk. Yusuke and Kuwabara had their most serious face, and the prince's expression didn't exactly relax the atmosphere. We didn't exchange glances; we didn't speak.
I drank the liquid in one gulp before anyone could say anything.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chapter 17: Night of Anticipation; Night of Dread
I never found enough courage to go on to the next day I never want to let go of the happiness of tonight I never want to let go of you But in order to do so, I must face tomorrow
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kurama's POV
I sat on my bed as I heard the water started running in the bathroom. Hiei was taking a bath. He was back, but Shiori was gone. I could heart he broken sobs coming from the other rooms, as my stepfather and stepbrother mourn over Shiori, who, Hiei explained as expressionlessly as possible, died form a car crash.
The pain of the past 24 hours still lingered in my mind, but I must move on, only to be hurt by the next era.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(flashback)
"Are you sure you want to carry out the mission tomorrow?" Koenma asked seriously.
"If you don't want another rose growing out of you, then go ahead and delay," Hiei threatened. Although his voice was still weak, the power hidden in it was unmistakable. He had his head on my shoulder.
"Fine, then come to my office tomorrow morning. The only way to get to the dimension is by death, so I will give you tow poison. If your soul gets to split into two, I would keep the remaining soul without its most important part. No matter you complete the mission or not, I will revive you, but I don't know how to join the souls back together, so I don't know what would be left of you. Are you prepared for this?"
"Isn't using a katana for death easier?" Hiei asked back, a hint of challenge in his tone.
"No! It is not! I don't' want to revive you finally and you die again because of overflow of blood from the wound!"
"Koenma, why can't Kuwabara and I go too?" Yusuke complained while tending to the cuts I caused him.
"Because this mission is too great a risk, and I can't afford to lose all four of you. Besides, Kurama and Hiei are more experienced, so they are unlikely to act on the spur of the moment. Do you get me?!" Koenma demanded harshly.
"Ok, ok. Getting all bossy because of that stupid rose," Yusuke muttered under his breath. Luckily the prince didn't catch it.
"Don't make me repeat myself" Hiei answered for me also. Somehow I did not want to talk. I felt guilty for keeping the true reason I wanted to go on the mission form them all, especially Hiei. Sorry, even though I knew a thousand would not be enough.
(end of flashback)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Kurama, don't stare into space. It is too easy for others to know what you are thinking that way."
I looked up and found Hiei with nothing but a towel around his waist, droplets water sill visible in his ebony hair. His ivory complexion seemed to glow softly in the dark room, and I couldn't help bur remember how comforting it was to touch it. The room suddenly felt like an inferno, and my face flushed red. I should not be feeling this way when the situation was so critical, but I could not control my furiously pumping heart to slow down.
"H . . . Hiei, put some clothes on," I said as I averted my gaze onto the bed, but that only made things worse.
"Kurama, tell me why you want so eagerly to go on the mission. You know I have been covering for you in front of Koenma. What are you hiding?" I could feel his eyes burning into me, and I was breaking down under his pressure.
"What are you talking about?" I frowned and clutched the bed sheets, watching intently as I toyed with it, trying my best to not look at him. " You know I won't hide thing from you," I like, with a sick feeling in my stomach.
"Hn. It's fine if you don't want to tell me," he said as he sat down next to me on the bed. I net his eyes, and found myself unable to pull away from the scarlet irises. I moved unconsciously, and soon I was against the wall, my head trapped with Hiei's arms on each side, my body trapped with weight on it.
"Kurama, I just want you to know that," he leaned in closer and his cheek brushed against mine as he whispered in my ear, "if you don't' get out of this mission alive, I will never forgive you." With that, he rose and tuned away. I caught his arm before he got down the bed. I didn't know why I did that. I didn't even know what I was feeling.
"Where are you going, Hiei?" I didn't let go.
"To put on some clothes as you said, baka kitsune." I didn't want to let go. If I did, would he slip away just like Shiori did? The way she called my name as if her life depended on it; the way she struggled; the last spark of life put out as her hand lost its strength; the way I lost her forever . . . I would never let go again.
"Hiei, I'm scared. I don't want to lost once more. I want Shiori back with me," I pleaded as tears rushed to my eyes.
"She's dead." His reply was short and cold, and he tried to jerk his arm away. I tightened my grip and pulled him into my embrace. I pressed him close and felt his cool skin against my burning face.
"Kitsune, she is dead. Get over it. Even if there is a way to bring her back, don't do it. What is done is done, and there's no point in changing anything," he said and ran his hand through my hair in a soothing way. His words hit my heart.
"So you render revenge useless? So what I am doing is wrong?"
"Revenge itself is meaningless. It is just a way people try to let out their regrets and guilt. Do you really think the dead could see anything? Let alone feeling happy when someone else is killed. Don't do things because you regret, but because you want to prevent the regret."
"Then don't make me regret, Hiei. Don't ever leave me. The guilt was suffocating me when you almost died today."
"I can make no promise of that kind, for it is not in my power to control. I may leave you tomorrow, but I am grateful enough to have known you for so long. Nothing is eternal, just treasure what you have now."
"I know that, but it still hurts to admit the truth. In reality, everything is painful." I gently kissed his neck, and soon, a red mark formed that matched the one on me. The crimson against his fair complexion stood out even more, just like a plum blossom on the fresh winter snow. I loved it, although I would fade in a few days.
I gradually pressed Hiei onto the bed. I never wanted the next day to arrive; I was unsure of what would happen. I was afraid; I was lost. I didn't want to leave the secure arms of Hiei that encircled me, and yet, tomorrow comes along without delay. I knew I had to face it, had to fight again, so that I might have one more moment with my beloved.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Shizuru's POV
I didn't know how long it had been since I came here. There was no time, no sun to tell you that it was daytime, nor a moon to inform you of the night. Not that it mattered anymore. It would be night when Sakyo came back, and day when he left. But recently, I had been having a weird feeling that this would not last any longer, that it was time for me to go back.
The wall opened up, and Sakyo came back, blood soaking through his shirt and pants as usual, but not even a single bruise could be found on him. I was once too curious and took a peak at the outside, though he told me not to. I should have listened.
The sight was gruesome. The reek of blood poured into my senses, unable to be driven away. Crimson almost flooded the floor, not even having the time to solidify before fresh ones run over it. Broken limbs lay everywhere, all newly cut, and on one arm, the fingers were still moving. Organs were spilled over the ground; a few sick shades of purple among the red.
Hideous monsters stood everywhere, every type of torture weapon imaginable in their hands. Souls were trudging along, carrying huge boulders on their backs. The monsters lashed their whips, baton, and guns at the souls, and with every hellish scream came new paint to cover the floor. The sounds never end, vibrating through the vast torture chamber, joined together with other dying whispers and laughter of insane ecstasy, forming an elegy that never stopped ringing in my mind ever since.
The souls were tortured to extreme that they were dying, and how I hoped that they wound, but no. Their bodies turned limp, but their senses keened, doubling the excruciating pain they felt. At the end of the day, they would go through the wall to their respective cells, and by then, the wounds, the broken limbs, would have all been cured and grown back. It was not mercy, but rather to let them get ready for the fresh round of bloodshed the next day. Death was no longer an escape; there was no escape.
"Shizure, are you feeling well?" His words and touch brought me back from my thoughts, but that elegy still rang faintly in the back of my head. His clothes were back to that dead grey colour, and it appeared as if nothing ever happened.
"No, I'm fine, but I've been having premonitions that I . . . might soon be going back . . ." I said and looked into his eyes sadly. But he smiled and took me in his arms. "It is best for you to go. This place doesn't deserve you, and you should not be forcing yourself to stay because of me. I have been way too selfish to keep you mine for so long. It is time . . ."
"But I chose to come here, and I really am happy here with you."
"No, you are not. Don't lie to yourself. You have made me understand what is important to me, so now I know what others feel like to have lost you. It is a little late for me in this life already, so go back, when it is still not too late for you."
"But I can't just leave you here! You will die, no, I mean, you would never feel happy again!"
"Promise me, go back and live your life to the fullest, and I will feel your content. That is enough; that is all I deserve. But no matter how long we part, keep the hope burning in your heart, and someday it will bring us together again. Before that, don't ever allow yourself to cry; don't ever be weak; don't make me worry."
The tears from my heart landed on his should. "What about you? You can never get out of here!"
"No, I will. After the long years of punishment Koenma set for me are over, I will be able to reincarnate, I will be able to go and find you. The torment here is only temporary. Nothing of it can compare to the life I led before."
"But . . . but . . ." I could find nothing to say. He kept silent also, as I wept on his shoulder. There wasn't anything that I could do anymore, but pray that tomorrow would not be the day I would leave; that tomorrow would be the day I meet him once more.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hiei's POV
"Yukina-san, can you please keep this for us while we are away?" Kurama asked, as he took out a delicate bag filled with our tear gems from the last night and the night before. We stopped by Genkai's temple before going to Reikai just for this.
"Sure, but can I see what's in there? So that at least I know what to search for I if accidentally lost it," she said as she received the pouch. Kurama smiled and nodded in approval, while I stood beside, pretending not to be looking and listening.
"Wow! These are tear gems, aren't they? How did you get them, especially the red ones?"
"Hmm . . . Hiei just happened to find them when he once traveled to the koorime's homeland in search of your brother."
"Then you are really lucky! Legends say that red tear gems are formed when the tears of two destined lovers, who one of them is a koorime, are mixed together, and the lovers who created them or possess them will never be separated. My mother used to have one, but she showed to no one but me. She was afraid that it was going to be discarded just like my brother," she said and lowered her head, "so I'm really glad that you found 'them', Hiei- san," her sweet smile returned and she beamed at me knowingly.
"Thanks, Yukina-san. We have to go now." Kurama bid farewell and instead of leaving first, I followed him this time, lingering behind just enough to hear what she murmured to herself.
"Yes, I really am glad for you, because these gems only exist as a legend to the koorime . . ."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We reached Koenma's office and saw two small bottles of limpid fluid on his desk. Yusuke and Kuwabara had their most serious face, and the prince's expression didn't exactly relax the atmosphere. We didn't exchange glances; we didn't speak.
I drank the liquid in one gulp before anyone could say anything.
