I'm sorry I dragged so long for this chapter. I was too busy reading X (manga by clamp). Anyway, this is the second last chapter. Hope you enjoy, and DON'T FORGET ME!!!! I'M NOT DEAD YET!!! GIVE REVIEWS!!! And I promise that the next chapter will be up next week. Also, go read my other story, if you have not, and give reviews!!!

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Chapter 18: Broken Souls; Broken Vows

I thought that I was already too tired to break anything So I just want a rest. It is not wrong, is it? But by doing so, I broke my soul, I broke our promise.

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Kurama's POV

Darkness, then the surrounding shimmered, and the picture of a vast field of flowers came into focus. This seemed familiar, I had been here before . . . I turned, expecting to find Hiei beside me, but there was nothing but flowers.

"Kurama-sama, we have met again," a sweet voice of a child rang out. The girl had purple hair and eyes, but who was she? How did she know my name? I just remembered having drank the poison with Hiei, but why did we drink it? Something was missing in my mind. All that surfaced in my head was the red tear gems, Hiei, and Shiori.

"Where is Hiei?" I demanded, "Where is this? And how do you know my name?"

"Don't worry, I can only meet one soul at a time, so Hiei-sama is in another dimension, and I will see him after you have made your wish. He is safe. This is the place where dreams come true, but only one that you want with your heart's desire. You told me your name a long time ago, a time that no longer exists for you because it is not in your memory now. My name is Murasaki."

"I think that I am supposed to do something here . . . What is it?" I whispered as I tried to retrieve the lost areas of my memory, but to no avail. I didn't even feel a headache, or that I t was purposely blocked. There was just nothing at all.

"Then that means what you are supposed to do, your duty, is not what you really want. What is your true wish?"

"I want everything to return to how they were before Karasu made his wish." I wished all these never happened.

"I'm sorry, but I can't alter the past. I can only change something in the future to suit you hopes."

Then I want Shiori back. I never should have brought her into this, and she died because of me. I owe my life to her. But what about Hiei? He said that I should let things go and move on. I knew he was right, but . . . I wanted to make up to her, I really wanted her to be back. It was the only chance for me to fulfill my duties and promises to protect her.

"What if I want somebody to come back to life?"

"It is hard to get a soul away from the position where it is placed by the Reikai prince, so I must have a soul to take its place." She looked at me meaningfully and apologetically. "Once the soul is replaced, I cannot get the soul back without having another replacement. If you are willing to sacrifice all that, I will grant your wish."

I could not leave Hiei behind, I promised him, but it is my responsibility towards Shiori. I owe everything I had to her, my life, my personality, without her, I would still be the cold-blooded murderer. Yet, I did not want to give up what I could build with Hiei, the time we would spend together if I ignore my duty. There was no way I could get both, wasn't there?

My conscience was split into two, one telling me to be filial, the other to be loyal. I wanted to act according to my wish, but I could no longer tell whether it was right or wrong, that I was being fake or truthful to myself. I guess I was stuck in between, the two choices going in complete opposite directions, pulling me apart. I was frustrated, but even the agony was slowly breaking into two, and I realized I could never be whole again if I lose either one of them, Shiori or Hiei. Even if I get over her death, the guilt would be gnawing away my heart, little by little, and I could never be able to give myself totally to Hiei.

Life would be living hell, so should escape? To a place where I could live with nothing, because won't be living anymore. Everything would stay in my mind as I wanted to remember.

It was too painful to choose anything. I was too scared. I couldn't think anymore; I didn't want to think anymore. I made a choice that wasn't really there. It wasn't about the two responsibilities anymore; it was the only way I could ever feel happy again, by not feeling at all. I was already torn apart.

"So what is your one last wish? Kurama-sama?"

I'm sorry, Hiei.

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Hiei's POV

I couldn't see anything; I couldn't hear anything; I couldn't feel anything. It was like sleeping, only that you were completely conscious, yet unable to do anything with that consciousness. Kurama wasn't there.

"I'm sorry, Hiei." His voice suddenly rang out from inside my mind. Then, his presence vanished. He wasn't anywhere anymore. "Kitsune, I'm never going to forgive you for this," I thought as a part of me as gone too. I didn't have time to cry.

Blinding light illuminated the surrounding, and I found myself in a field of flowers. A girl was standing there, smiling.

"Hiei-sama, nice to meet you. I have heard Kurama-sama talk greatly about you. What is your wish?" I couldn't sense any evil aura around her, nor could I really sense her as a solid form. More like vapour than anything else.

"What have you don't to him?" I ordered.

"I have just fulfilled his wish. He wanted his mother to be back to life."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Huh? What do you mean?" she blinked, obviously puzzled.

"Why are you granting wishes? Why don't you just let them rest? Do you know what you are causing?"

"I do these just because I want everyone to be happy. Too many people die without ever feeling what is joy, so all I want to do is help them." She said with a dreamy look, totally oblivious to the effects of her actions.

"Do you really thing people will feel happy this way?" my voice sharpened, and she blinked in confusion once more. "Have you considered that by fulfilling a selfish wish of one, how many others will be hurt? For many people, their happiness is built on the pains of others. By letting one person live, hundreds may die, and is that worth it?"

"You never knew this, did you? Thinking that the whole world is as pretty as the dreamscape you create, that nobody can be truly evil, that by helping others to their ultimate goal will make everyone happy and the world perfect. You are too naïve. Nothing is ever perfect, and nothing you do could ever make perfection. There is no method to make everyone happy."

"What is dead is dead. If you don't let go, new things will never happen. Everybody has had their chance of life, and their outcomes are what their actions result in. Don't feel sorry for them. It's what they choose, and by giving them another chance, their decisions waver, and they start to regret, or their greed takes over them. Either option is far form the joy you want them to feel."

"B . . . But," she stammered, "they all look so content when they made their wish."

"Yes, content that they get what they want without having to think one tiny bit about how others feel; content that they get to escape what would happen to them, pushing all the grief that would befall on them onto the ones who love them most. Content is not happiness, it is when you know you have chosen the best option for yourself in a certain circumstance. If someone must choose between killing himself or killing the most important person to him, he would no doubt commit suicide. He is content. Is he happy? Has he ever thought about how guilty the other person must fell," I smiled bitterly at myself, "or how the one who loves him must feel?"

"You love Kurama-sama? Then what are you feeling now?"

"Anyway both of us will be dying, so there's no harm telling you. I'm mad at him, furious, even, that he left me with just a sorry. But calm down and think, and anger evaporates, leaving the intense residue of bitterness, knowing that my warnings merely bounded off him, that he still chose Shiori, that he could not let go. Maybe I have no position to lecture him at all, since I can't even let go myself. Of course, I'm hurt. I hate him for letting me know what love is, and then leaving a permanent dent on me that no one has ever did. Bu I still love him, despite these injuries, because they would not be here if I had forgotten him."

"I told him before to forget, because I was afraid this will happen. I lied to him right in his face, pretending that I know everything I say, and I will do it, when I will do exactly opposite."

"You look sad. Is it because of what I've done? Am I wrong?" she asked in confusion, staring with her deep violet eyes.

"You are not wrong for wanting to help people. In fact, it is noble, but you underestimated the human nature. Remember that there is no way you can do something without unconsciously hurting someone."

"Then how can I redeem my mistake? Is there anything you wish for?"

"Honestly, I am worse than Kurama. I know what I am supposed to do, but am too selfish to do it. I have sunk too deep to pull myself out of this. Is there any way Kurama could be revived?" you can blame me for lying to you, Kurama, but you couldn't blame me for doing this. I was just repeating your steps. This was my blessing and punishment to you.

"Yes, but then, you will have to take his place. I can grant you this last wish, but do me a favour," she said brightly, "can you please destroy my soul before you go? Once I am 'dead', this dimension will cease to exist and things will be back to normal."

I was rather surprised by her request. I did not expect her to see through death so easily. "How do I do it? Once the wish activates, I would be gone, won't I?"

"There is a little time needed for the wish to start, so you can use that time. I'm sure it's no problem for you. Don't fell guilty for killing me, and do not hesitate, or it will be too late. I know what I did wrong now, so I'm wiling to correct it. At least I know that many people will be less troubled without my presence." She replied as her form started changing to an adult. She had grown.

"How long is the time difference?"

"It should be about 0.01 second, but that should not be difficult for you," she watched me with hopeful eyes.

"I'll try." I ripped off he bandage of my right arm, gradually adding youki to it, but holding the dragon back so that the power is accumulated but it takes no form. I had done this before.

Slowly letting go, I watched as a smoky, translucent form of the kokuryhua taking shape in the air. The sky crackled with lightning, and the surrounding of the dimension blurred, wrapped around with a black, metallic aura. The omen of death. The dragon, not fully released, circled the sky, waiting for my commands. Wind whipped around me, making my cloak beat against it, creating a rattling sound. The ground had been torn of its cover, the flowers and plants long carried away by the wind.

"Are you ready?" I shouted through the storm, and Murasaki only managed to nod while trying to hold herself onto the ground.

I held up three fingers, signaling a countdown. As the last finger came down, she started glowing, and I felt myself being pulled into the darkness. I gave the command.

As my eyes fell shut, I saw the dragon tearing through the air, almost cutting the dimension into two, and with a deafening roar, it engulfed the small glowing form of Murasaki. Then it suddenly dissipated, and I closed my eyes.

An excruciating pain invaded my body, paralyzing me, shocking me. It tried to burst through my body, but was held within, so tightly that I could hardly breathe. I was bleeding, on the inside. I thought it was the aftermath of the wish, but as I felt I t completely eating away my soul, I finally knew what it was.

It was love.

Did you feel it too, Kurama?

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Kurama's POV

I felt as if I was being pushed through a tunnel, tiny lights flew by, as I rushed forwards. The extreme speed made me feel sickening, but it became even worse when I came to a sudden halt. My mind whirled, and before I could come to my senses, I was being pulled back. What was happening? The spell couldn't have reversed, could it? I finally stopped, and I felt . . . solid.

I opened my eyes.