Disclaimer #2: 1. Harry belongs to J.K. Rowling. 2. Tobias is from Animorphs and belongs to K.A. Applegate. 3. Cole belongs the the people behind the 6th sense. 4. Fabio belongs to Fabio. 5. Buffy belongs to who ever made Buffy the Vampire Slayer. 6. Tatra and Catty belong to us. Done!



Chapter four- The Madness Starts



Harry woke up, again, to the words "I can't believe it's not butter!" From Cole.

Harry got dressed, went to the Great Hall to eat breakfast.

Fabio was sitting in Harry's seat.

"I can't believe it's not butter!" Fabio exclaimed.

Tobias flew in and told Ron that he liked Hermione as in like.

Harry sat down and buttered his toast with the butter that Fabio was handing out.

Dumbledore looked younger, and the Headless horseman was chasing Peeves, who was running around with the Headless Horseman's underwear on his head.

"I have a head to put underwear on and you don't!" Peeves shouted in a sing-song voice as he flew out a window.

"I'll get you later!" the Headless Horseman yelled.

Fabio began to dance in a circle of fairies with Hermione.

Ron was riding the Headless Horseman's horse.

"Wheeeeeee!" Ron yelled.

Harry watched in awe, noting that Draco was smashing bananas into his face.

Suddenly Harry got an idea. He rushed up to the dorms and started to look in Dean's trunk. He looked until he saw a video camera. Harry grabbed it, put a new video in, and raced back to the Great Hall.

Harry started recording.

Draco was still smashing bananas on his face. Crabbe and Goyle were doing the Hokey Pokey wile singing the song.

Harry moved the camera over to the teacher's table.

Professor Sprout was doing the Hula of the table. Snape had summoned a huge tub of oatmeal and was taking a bath in it with his clothes on.

Harry moved the camera over the Ravenclaw table.

A bunch of 7th years had summoned some rope and were busy tying plates and bowls on their feet, some times with oatmeal still in the bowls.

Harry turned the camera over to the Hufflepuff table.

Some of the 3rd years were tap dancing, and some of the 5th years were licking the table.

Harry then turned the camera over to the Gryffindors.

Some of the 6th years had taken the Ravenclaw 7th years example and were tying bowls onto their feet, and on their hands too!

Cole was running around yelling, "I can't believe it's not butter!"

Draco had given up on the banana's and was smearing his face on the floor.

Just then Professor Binns came into the Great Hall, wearing his underpants over his pants.

Harry watched him run around, trying not to wiggle the camera too much.

"I'm Super Binns!" Binns yelled as he tried to 'save' McGonagall from the oatmeal that Snape was throwing around.

Crabbe and Goyle gave up doing the Hokey Pokey and were running after Binns.

Then, suddenly, everyone stopped and looked around.

Finally, someone asked, "what happened?"

Harry just stood there, laughing his head off.

"Harry, what happened? Last thing I remember was going to bed last night," Ron said.

"I don't know, has Fabio left yet?" Harry asked.

"Fabio?" Ron asked.

"The butter man." Harry replied, "Who was walking around saying 'I can't believe it's not butter'."

"Oh, I haven't seen him," Ron answered.

"Have you seen Hermione?" Harry asked.

"Why?" Ron asked.

"Because she was with Fabio the last time I saw her," Harry answered.

"Oh, I think I saw her talking with Hagrid, who was stuck under a table, don't asked me why," Ron said.

"Good, I need to ask her something," Harry said.

"Whether she's gonna marry Fabio or Tobias," Ron said.

"Yeah, something like that," Harry said as he started over to where Hermione and Hagrid were.

"Hermione, I need to ask you something," Harry said slowly.

"Okay," Hermione said.

"In private," Harry added.

Hermione nodded and they went away from Hagrid.

"What is it, Harry?" Hermione asked.

"If you had a Muggle video camera, and you wanted to play it back, only you wanted it bigger that a tv screen, could you do it?" Harry asked.

"I think so. I read somewhere that it can be done. You say play back words, tap the video camera with your wand, and the video will appear, sound and all, why?" Hermione answered.

"Can you do it?" Harry asked.

"I think so," Hermione said.

"Good, do it," Harry replied as he handed her the camera, with the tape rewound.

Hermione took the tape, set it up on the Gryffindor table, said 'yalp' and tapped the camera with her wand.

A picture came out of the lense and started playing behind the teacher's table.

The Great Hall went silent as they watched themselves acting like idiots.

No one could believe what they were seeing.

"What kind of trick is this?" Snape demanded, "everyone knows I don't take baths in oatmeal!"

"Can't be too sure of that," Ron whispered to Harry.

Harry laughed.

"At least I know that I wasn't the only one that woke up in a strange position. I went to sleep in my bed, and woke up on that horse that fallows the headless man around," Ron added.

Everyone was silent, staring at each other in awe.

"This is my proof," Harry whispered to Ron.

"Proof of what?" Hermione asked.

"Proof that everyone was acting crazy this morning," Harry answered.

"Except for you," Hermione pointed out.

"Yes, and I didn't see Fred or George either," Harry replied.

"I wonder when it started, I mean, I was fine when I went to sleep last night," Hermione said.

"I think it happened early this morning," Harry said.

"Why?" Ron asked.

"Because you came down to the common room last night, Ron, and asked if there was another bed, or was it just you. I said it was just you, even though it wasn't, and you went back to bed," Harry answered.

Hermione frowned, "you were in the common room last night?"

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep cause someone was snoring," Harry answered.

"I'll be back later, get me my schedule for me? Thanks," Hermione said as she dashed off.

"Alright, what was that about?" Harry asked Ron.

"Who knows, but I'll bet she's headed to the library. Where else would she be going to in such a hurry?" Ron said.

"To meet Tobias?" Harry suggested.

Ron shrugged.

Then they headed toward their first class after getting their schedules.

They met Hermione along the way.

"Where were you?" Ron asked.

"Library," Hermione said, not looking up from the book she was reading.

"Told you," Ron whispered to Harry.

"What did you say?" Hermione asked.

"Nothing, nothing, nothing at all," Ron said,

"Which is exactly what's in you head," Fred said as he and George came up behind them.

"Hey!" Ron exclaimed.

"See you later. Can't be late for class," George said before running in the opposite direction.

"I didn't get a chance to ask them if they knew anything about this morning," Hermione said sadly, now looking up from her book.

"Who cares?" Ron asked, still mad about Fred's insult.

"I do!" Hermione said as they entered Charms class.

Harry sighed and fallowed her, with Ron behind him.

Harry ended up sitting between Hermione and Ron.

Professor Flitwick stood on his pile of books and started his welcome back speech.

Everyone was full of boredom when the speech was over.

"Today we will do a review of last year," Flitwick said as he began to pair them up.

Harry got paired with a new girl.

"I'm Buffy, what's your name?" The new girl asked.

"I'm Harry," Harry said.

"Nice to meet you," Buffy said.

Harry looked over to Ron, who was at the next table.

"So you tap it with you wand, say the spell, and it'll turn green and sour?" The girl who was paired up with Ron asked.

"Yes," Ron replied.

"Why we can't turn it into a peanut?" The girl asked.

"Because, Tatra, we have to get this done so that we can get out of here," Ron answered.

Tatra picked up the apple that they were supposed to turn into a sour apple, tapped it with her wand, and turned it into a green worm.

Harry and Buffy weren't having much luck either.

"Why can't we blow it up? Then there'll be nothing to worry about," Buffy asked.

"Because we, or at least I, need a good grade," Harry replied, trying again to change the apple.

"Why don't you just turn it into a worm like I did?" Tatra asked.

"Because, we're not in Transfiguration class!" Ron replied.

"So?" Tatra asked.

Ron started to bang his head on the table.

"Besides, I asked Harry, not you," Tatra said.

"Well... The answer that Ron gave you is the same one I would have given you," Harry said, looking at Tatra.

When Harry turned back around, he found the apple gone.

"Buffy, where's the apple?" Harry asked, trying to remain calm.

"I blew it up," she replied, pointing to the apple goo on the wall.

Harry started to bang his had on the table like Ron.

Hermione as having some trouble too.

Her partner threw the apple out the window; then said, proudly, "problem solved."

"Catty!" Hermione yelled at her partner.

"What?" Catty asked innocently.

"Professor Flitwick? We need a new apple," Hermione said.

"What happened to the old one?" Flitwick asked.

"Catty through it out the window!" Hermione answered.

"And what happened to you four's apples?" Flitwick asked as he noticed the other's apples missing.

"Buffy blew ours up," Harry answered.

"Here's ours," Tatra replied, holding up the green worm.

"Oh, my," Flitwick gasped as he handed out more apples.

"Let's blow this one up, too," Buffy suggested.

"No!" Harry yelled.

"Just when I got rid of it, it comes back," Catty said as she threw the new apple out the window, too.

Tatra tapped the apple and it turned brown. She poked it and it exploded, luckily Tatra had crouched down so that only her eyes were above the table. Ron, on the other hand, was covered in goo.

"It blew up," Tatra announced.

Buffy threw their apple at Harry.

"What was that for?" Harry asked.

"I can't do it," Buffy complained.

Flitwick came back and gave Ron and Hermione new apples, again, which they took and wouldn't let their partners touch.

"Hermione, you're not being fair," Catty said.

"Well I want to get this done, and you keep throwing it out the window," Hermione replied.

Tatra didn't mind that Ron wouldn't let her touch the apple, she was busy trying to turn the first apple back into an apple, it turned into a shoe and a few other things, but it wouldn't turn into an apple.

Catty grabbed a handful of Tatra's apple goo and threw it at Hermione.

"What was that for?" Hermione asked.

"That was for being unfair," Catty answered.

Tatra had given up trying to turn the worm into an apple and was scooping up apple goo and putting it in a bag. Ron was okay with it, except for when Tatra tried to get the apple goo off him.

"Ron! Hold still!" Tatra yelled.

"Get off me!" Ron yelled back louder.

"No!" Tatra yelled even louder than Ron.

"Shut up both of you," Buffy interrupted.

Tatra gave up trying to get the apple goo off Ron and started scooping up Buffy's apple goo that was on the wall.

"Yummy, yummy in my tummy," Catty sang as she began helping Tatra.

Tatra got on her hands and knees and started crawling to the front of the room.

When Tatra reached Flitwick's desk, she took ten apples and went back to Catty.

Then she and Catty started blowing up the apples. Every time they blew up an apple, Tatra put all the goo in the plastic bag.

"What are you two doing?" Buffy asked.

Before Catty or Tatra could reply, Buffy said, "never mind, I don't even want to know."

"I'll tell you any way, we're making apple goo!" Tatra said.



When the class was over, Hermione was the only one in the trio who had turned her completely sour. Harry's was sour in some parts, and Ron's was too sour because of Tatra trying to get the goo of him.

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Thanks to all who reviewed, which was no one, so thanks to all who read the first three chapters.