Chapter 6
How I Met Seymore
Now don't go no where cause that wasn't all of my greatest adventures. More things hit me soon enough. Yessiree, there were shore more. A lot of times when we was livin in Dan's new cabin I would go out into the big green medow. Now Leutenint Dan, he is always tellin me not to on account of there might be wolfs in the medow, but I tell him that I haf to go to see my new friends. They is Billy the Bird, Leo the Cat, and Bruce the Duck (I named him after the duck I had when I was a doctor). Dan says I is crazy to be friends with wild animals, but I don't mind. Also, just past the medow they is this burger restaurant an on Teusdays Bob the Janitor plays polka music there, an you know how much I like polka music.
Well, all went well for a while till one day when we met Seymore. He is a wolf, like Dan says. I dint understand why my friends were so scart. To me it was just a dog. Shore he be growlin at us, but I figger that's how he says hello. But Bruce, he gits so scart that he accidently leaped into Seymore's mouth. I saw a feather stikin out of Seymore's teeth, so I went on home an got some of Leutenint Dan's dental floss.
When I returned, Leo had the wrong idea an startid tyin up poor Seymore. About that time, some hunters be comin an they think that it was me that captured Seymore. The next day, they throwed us a parade. Everyone was there. Billy, Leo, Seymore, Leutenint Dan, Bob the Janitor, the hunters, Bruce (only now he was reincarnated as Shirley Macclaine), some kid named Peter, the world famous composer Wendy Carlos, an even Lisa Frump, who was so proud of me that she came back to me!
After the parade, one the hunters suggested that we should take the wolf to the zoo. And another said we oughta take him to Disney World. An so that's how it all startid. Me, Seymore, an Leutenint Dan, an a guest got to go to a new theme park ever year for free. But the catch is that these are new theme parks an we is like the guiny pigs. So anything that goes wrong will go wrong with us instead of payin customers. An believe me, a lot went wrong! But I'll git to that later.
First they is takin us to a new zoo where they got all kinds of weird animals. We saw iguanas an sharks an poodles an amoebas an alligators an pigeons an aardvarks an cockroaches an vultures an snails an hummingbirds an about 27 other animals. We even saw a unicorn, which is strange cause I thought they was just a mith.
Next, they sent us to Euro Disney, like Disneyland in Europe. Let me say this - it is a bunch of crap. Ain't nobody ever went there all the way up till the day they shut it down. When I came back home, I got me a job workin at the burger restaurant with Bob the janitor. It was an okay job, but it was nothin like the job I got next.
How I Met Seymore
Now don't go no where cause that wasn't all of my greatest adventures. More things hit me soon enough. Yessiree, there were shore more. A lot of times when we was livin in Dan's new cabin I would go out into the big green medow. Now Leutenint Dan, he is always tellin me not to on account of there might be wolfs in the medow, but I tell him that I haf to go to see my new friends. They is Billy the Bird, Leo the Cat, and Bruce the Duck (I named him after the duck I had when I was a doctor). Dan says I is crazy to be friends with wild animals, but I don't mind. Also, just past the medow they is this burger restaurant an on Teusdays Bob the Janitor plays polka music there, an you know how much I like polka music.
Well, all went well for a while till one day when we met Seymore. He is a wolf, like Dan says. I dint understand why my friends were so scart. To me it was just a dog. Shore he be growlin at us, but I figger that's how he says hello. But Bruce, he gits so scart that he accidently leaped into Seymore's mouth. I saw a feather stikin out of Seymore's teeth, so I went on home an got some of Leutenint Dan's dental floss.
When I returned, Leo had the wrong idea an startid tyin up poor Seymore. About that time, some hunters be comin an they think that it was me that captured Seymore. The next day, they throwed us a parade. Everyone was there. Billy, Leo, Seymore, Leutenint Dan, Bob the Janitor, the hunters, Bruce (only now he was reincarnated as Shirley Macclaine), some kid named Peter, the world famous composer Wendy Carlos, an even Lisa Frump, who was so proud of me that she came back to me!
After the parade, one the hunters suggested that we should take the wolf to the zoo. And another said we oughta take him to Disney World. An so that's how it all startid. Me, Seymore, an Leutenint Dan, an a guest got to go to a new theme park ever year for free. But the catch is that these are new theme parks an we is like the guiny pigs. So anything that goes wrong will go wrong with us instead of payin customers. An believe me, a lot went wrong! But I'll git to that later.
First they is takin us to a new zoo where they got all kinds of weird animals. We saw iguanas an sharks an poodles an amoebas an alligators an pigeons an aardvarks an cockroaches an vultures an snails an hummingbirds an about 27 other animals. We even saw a unicorn, which is strange cause I thought they was just a mith.
Next, they sent us to Euro Disney, like Disneyland in Europe. Let me say this - it is a bunch of crap. Ain't nobody ever went there all the way up till the day they shut it down. When I came back home, I got me a job workin at the burger restaurant with Bob the janitor. It was an okay job, but it was nothin like the job I got next.
