Chapter eleven - Have you any wool?

"This isn't working," Tatra said as the sixth person they met ran away before they could ask.

"I know! We'll put on a disguise!" Catty exclaimed.

"Great idea!" Tatra said as she pulled out three pairs of fake eyeglasses that had a nose and a moustache on it.

Draco couldn't believe the two of them.

Catty and Tatra put on their disguises and got twenty people to sign their petition.

One person wouldn't sign, so Tatra asked her for her name and then made the girl sign by moving her hand. Then Catty made her say $500.

"I feel sorry for your parents," Draco muttered.

"Why's that?" Catty asked.

Draco didn't answer, just looked at them with pity in his eyes.

"Besides, it was our parent who taught us," Tatra said, laughing.

"I'm glad I'm not in you family," Draco sneered.

"You should be," Catty replied.

"Why?" He asked.

"Because our family wouldn't like you," Catty replied simply.

"Why not?" Draco asked.

"You're too pale," Catty answered.

"Dot, dot, dot," Tatra said suddenly.

"Polka, polka, polka," Catty replied.

"Poke?" Tatra said.

"Poke!" Catty replied.

Tatra and Catty started poking Draco.

"Ah! Get away from me!" He screamed.

"But you're too fun to be around!" Catty replied simply, still poking him.

"Um, Potter's doing something that you need to see!" Draco yelled.

"How do you know?" Catty asked.

"I heard them talking," Draco said.

Catty, Draco and Tatra disappeared and reappeared in the Gryffindor common room.

"They aren't doing anything," Catty said, disappointed.

Tatra tackled Ron and wrote 'underage wizard' on his head with a permanent marker.

"Ah!" Ron screamed, "Get it off! Get it off!" He began to madly rub his face.

"You're not going to get it off. It's a MAGIC permanent marker," Tatra stated proudly.

Ron rubbed harder, "get it off, get it off, get it off!"

"It's not coming off," Tatra said.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" Ron screamed as he rubbed even harder.

"Poor Ron, he's gonna rub his face off," Tatra said to Catty.

Catty shook her head sadly.

Ron was still yelling and rubbing.

Tatra ran up to the girls dorm and changed into a black dress and a hat with a veil. Then she came back downstairs.

"What's with the outfit?" Draco asked.

"Well, Ron's gonna rub his forehead off, isn't that a reason to dress up?" Tatra asked.

"Not really," Draco replied.

"Oh," Tatra said.

Then she went back upstairs and changed into a robe, but not just any robe. She changed into a bathrobe.

She grabbed a hammer and came downstairs.

"What's with the hammer?" Draco asked.

"You ask too many questions," Catty replied.

"I'll tell you what it's for. It's for stubbing your toe!" Tatra yelled as she tapped his foot with the hammer.

"Ahh! Get away from me!" He screamed, running away dragging Catty with him.

Tatra shrugged, got down on her hands and knees and started to crawl around stubbing everyone's toes.

Catty began to wave the hand that was attached to Draco madly around in the air.

"What are you doing?" Draco asked.

"Saying hi to that man over there," she replied, pointing.

Everyone looked to where she was pointing to and saw no man.

"Where is he?" Hermione demanded.

"Where's who?" Catty asked innocently.

"The man!" Hermione exclaimed.

"What man?" Catty asked.

"The man you just said was over there!" Hermione yelled, becoming frustrated.

"I didn't say anything about a man. Did you hear anything about a man, Tatra?" Catty asked.

"Nope, I heard nothing about the man," Tatra said as she hit Hermione on the toe with her hammer.

Catty began to run around in circles and Draco was being dragged all around.

Tatra hit Harry on the toe with the hammer.

"Ow! Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" Harry yelled as he hopped around holding his toe.

"Go away!" Ron yelled.

"Can't!" Tatra replied.

"Why not?" Ron asked.

"Because I glued your shoe to the floor," Tatra answered.

"Go away!" Ron screamed.

"I already told you I can't, I glued your shoe to the floor," Tatra said, shaking her head.

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" Ron boomed.

"Say that again," Tatra said, holding a mike up to Ron's mouth.

"Get away from me!" Ron yelled.

Tatra took the tape recorder she had and went up to the girls dorm.

"What's she doing?" Harry asked.

"Who cares, as long as she's gone," Ron said.

"I'm back!" Tatra called as she came down.

Tatra hit play on her tape player. Ron's voice said 'get away from me' over and over again.

"Now that you've gotten my message, GO!" Ron yelled so loud that he didn't know he had the power to be that loud.

"Alright," Tatra said.

She left for about two minutes and then came back.

"I went," Tatra said as she wiped her wet hands on Ron's robes.

"EW" Ron yelled.

"What, it's clean water, I just washed my hands," Tatra said.

"Quiet!" Catty yelled, "Every one hide! The Ba Ba Black Sheep is coming! If he finds you he'll get you good!"

"The ba ba what?" Harry asked.

"THE BA BA BLACK SHEEP!" Catty shrieked, pointing to Dumbledore, who had just walked into the common room, "He's gonna get us good now!"

"What about a ba ba black sheep?" Dumbledore asked.

"Like you don't know," Catty accused.

"No, I don't know!" Dumbledore yelled.

"A BA BA BLACK SHEEP!" Catty boomed.

"What about it?!" Dumbledore yelled.

"YOU'RE THE BA BA BLACK SHEEP!" Catty screamed, "YOU'RE GONNA GET US GOOD!"

"I'm not the Ba Ba Black Sheep!" Dumbledore yelled.

"BA BA BLACK SHEEP!" Catty began to chant.

Dumbledore sighed and left.

Catty continued to chant while Tatra cheered.

Just then Tatra started to chant too, only she was chanting 'kitties' instead.

Catty got louder. Tatra started to march around in a circle while chanting.

Suddenly Snape entered the common room.

"It's the Muffin Man!" Catty screamed suddenly, pointing to Snape.

"The Muffin Man? What's that?" Snape asked.

"The Muffin Man!" She repeated louder.

"Is he gonna get us good too?" Harry asked.

"No! He's the Muffin Man!" Catty yelled.

"Yes, yes," Harry said, "but is he gonna get us good like the Ba Ba Black Sheep?"

"No, the Ba Ba Black Sheep is gonna get us good, but he's the Muffin Man!" Catty replied.

Harry sighed and muttered, "I give up!"

"Me too!" Catty screamed.

Tatra went up to Snape and asked, "If a monkey stole your robes, would you be unhappy?"

Snape stared at her as if she was crazy.

Catty began to sing, "Ba ba black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir three bags full! One for the master, one for the dame, one for the little boy who lives down the lane! Ba ba black sheep have you any wool? Yes sir, yes sir three bags full!"

"I came here because some students complained to Dumbledore that one of you was going around hitting people on the toe with a hammer," Snape said.

"Then why didn't Dumbledore come?" Tatra asked.

"He did! He was just in here a moment ago!" Snape exclaimed.

"No! That was the Ba Ba Black Sheep!" Tatra yelled.

"Well anyway, who had the hammer?" Snape asked.

"I did! And I still have it!" Tatra said as she got on her hands and knees and hit Snape's toe with the hammer.

"Ouch!" Snape yelled.

"Muffin Man! Muffin Man!" Catty screamed.

"Give me the hammer," Snape demanded, holding his hand out.

"Alright," Tatra hit Snape's hand with the hammer.

"Hand it to me!" He boomed.

Tatra tried to hit him with it, but he grabbed it away too quickly.

"Got you good!" Snape laughed.

"The Muffin Man!" Catty screeched so loud that the windows shattered.

"Stop screeching," Snape said before repairing the windows.

Snape left with the hammer.

Tatra went back up to her dorm. She came down to the common room a minute later, another hammer in her hand.

"Can I have one?" Catty asked.

"How many hammers do you have?" Harry asked.

"This is an 'A, B' conversation, so 'C' your way out," Catty replied.

"Huh," Harry said, confused.

"Go lick the giant squid in the lake," Tatra said.

"Why?" Harry asked.

"Because it's something to do," Tatra said.

Tatra snapped her fingers and Harry found himself in front of the lake.

Harry sighed, then started the long walk back up to the castle common room.

Meanwhile Tatra had given Catty a hammer and they were hitting people with them.

"Let's go find Harry and then go complain to Snape or Dumbledore," Hermione said to Ron after the third time they were hit on the head with a hammer.

With a wave of her hand, Catty had transformed her hammer into a flyswatter. Then she started smacking everyone.

"Ow!" Ron yelled as Catty hit him on the arm really hard.

She began to alternate, banging on Ron, the table, the floor and a chair. Soon she had an awesome beat going.

Before Harry could stop himself he began bobbing his head to the beat.

"When did you get back?" Hermione asked Harry.

"I don't know, I was on the stairs with the trick step and then I was suddenly here," Harry said.

"I brought you here!" Tatra said as she popped up behind them.

"Why couldn't you have left me there?" Harry groaned.

"Because we all love you so much, and couldn't wait to have you back!" Catty answered for Tatra.

"Besides, Draco was lonely," Tatra said.

"How can Draco be lonely if he's attached to Catty?" Ron asked.

"Go buzz off!" Tatra said as she snapped her fingers.

Suddenly Ron found himself outside, flying.

Ron screamed like a girl, "Get me out of the sky and back into the common room!"

With a snap of Catty's fingers, Ron was sent flying into the Hufflepuff common room.

"He didn't say which common room he wanted to be in," Catty said with a shrug.

"Anyone else want to buzz off?" Tatra asked.

Everyone quickly shook their head.

"Good. Get your peanuts! Nice, hot peanuts! Get your peanuts!" Catty screamed suddenly.

Everyone looked at her like she was crazy, except Tatra.

"Extra! Extra! Read all about it! Peanut sales have gone down 100%!" Catty screeched.

"Really?" Tatra asked.

"Yes, really," Catty answered.

"We should sell more peanuts," Tatra said.

"You two are nuts," Ron, who had suddenly appeared, said.

"No, you want peanuts," Catty said as she began to fill all of Ron's pockets with peanuts.

"No! No! No! No! No! Get those outta there!" Ron exclaimed.

"Why?" Tatra asked.

Because I don't want any peanuts!" Ron replied.

"Why?" Tatra asked.

"Go away!" Ron screamed.

"Why?" Tatra asked.

"Because I find you a weird and disturbing girl," Ron said.

"Why?" Tatra asked.

"Let's go eat," Hermione interrupted.

"Why?" Tatra asked.

"Because I'm hungry," Hermione said.

"Why?" Tatra asked.

"Because I haven't eaten since lunch!" Hermione said.

"What about all the cereal I dumped on you?" Tatra asked.

Suddenly Catty began to pull at Draco's gooey and rubbery hair again.

"Stop that!" Draco yelled.

"Nope," Catty said as she continued to pluck on his hair.

Tatra grabbed the nearest student, which happened to be Ron, and started rubbing his head on the wall.

"I love you Draco," Catty said, batting her eyelashes.

Draco screamed and ran in horror. Then he realized that Catty was still attached to them.

"Stop it!" Ron yelled.

"Why?" Tatra asked, starting to rub his head on the floor.

"Because it's too weird!" Ron yelled.

"I like weird!" Tatra said.

"But this is too weird!" Ron replied.

"So?" Tatra said, still rubbing his head on the floor.

"So stop!" Ron screamed.

Catty pulled a handkerchief out of her robes and tied her leg to Draco's.

"Let's have a race!" She yelled.

"Yeah!" Tatra cried, tying her leg to Ron's.

Then she snapped her fingers and Harry and Hermione's legs were tied together.

"1...2...3!"

They were off.

The race was over before it started. As soon as Harry and Hermione took their first step, Draco and Catty screamed, "I won! I won! I won!"

"Yup I won!" Tatra said.

"What about me?" Ron asked.

"What about you?" Tatra asked.

"Never mind," Ron sighed heavily.

"Fishy wishy how about a kissy?" Catty asked as she gave Draco a big, wet kiss on the lips.

"Yuck!" Draco yelled as he ran to a bathroom and washed his lips, Catty still with them.

Just then Catty started singing Dragula by Rob Zombie.

"Let's just go down to the Great Hall, maybe they won't follow this time," Hermione said to Ron and Harry.

"Alright," they replied.

"I'll be there in a bit, I need to change into a bathrobe and get another hammer," Tatra said.

Ron, Harry, Hermione, Catty, Draco and his hair went down to the Great Hall.