As promised, here is Chapter XXIV, in this and the next few chapters, there is going to be plenty of participation from Barney. I hope the readers enjoy that.

Thanks to all who read the previous chapters, especially those of you who took the time to comment.

As we well know, all the characters belong to Thomas Harris. I own nothing and make no profit from this fiction.

If I overlooked any errors, please e-mail me and I'll fix them.

Exchanges©, Chapter XXIV, uploaded 1/10/04 by Clariz.   

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Exchanges XXIV-

Starling's Story

The two men started with small talk and soon were fully engaged in a conversation about change, the multiple facets of personalities, and the ability to adapt.

Clarice was barely participating in the conversation. She was fascinated and overwhelmed by the sight of the two of them together in a setting so utterly removed from the one where she first met them. The memories of the dungeon brought in her an overwhelming need for physical contact with the doctor who, always receptive to her moods, reached out for her hand and brought it to his lips as he often did. This time however, he saw an amused light in Barney's eyes and both men smiled.

"I love a happy ending," Barney commented.

"Then you are going to love this one," Hannibal said. "Clarice has agreed to marry me. We are going to be married tomorrow morning in a small ceremony at the family chapel right here in the grounds. I has hoping you'd agree to be my best man."

It took a few seconds for Barney to recover from the surprise. Then he boomed, "Congratulations," got up and both men shook hands and then hugged patting each other in the back, the bond between them unmistakable. "It will be an honor and I humbly accept" Barney said,

He went over to Clarice then and hugged her too, declaring "I'm very happy for the both of you, Starling. If I may say so, happiness suits you more than the badge."

"I kept saying that, Barney." the doctor said with feigned sarcasm and a mock sad face, "It took her years to believe me."

Clarice punched him lightly on the arm and they all laughed.

Barney couldn't help to compare the doctor's old sardonic laughter at the dungeon with this open and carefree one. He liked the change. "His nature is probably unchanged, but his lighter qualities seem to prevail." he though.

After he sat again, Barney shook his head back and forth with delight. "Why am I not surprised? From the first time you met, the chemistry between you was like no other I've ever seem"…

"Please do tell." Dr. Lecter teased, "Here I thought no one noticed…"

His tone reminded Clarice of their first meeting at the dungeon. "Please tell me - the newspapers won't say."

She chortled.

"Dr Chilton noticed," Barney responded, half smiling, "and he was jealous and spiteful, as was his nature. He couldn't stand the though that even behind the glass Starling would find you more interesting than him and his greasy advances. I suppose that is why he wanted to put a stop to her visits to the dungeon. It was pathetic."

He went on

"Did you ever notice, Clarice, that you broke the rules from the start? I always wondered if you just didn't realize or if you felt safe enough with the doctor that the rules seemed obsolete. Maybe a combination of both?"

"I don't remember breaking the rules." She said, puzzled. "Did I really break the rules; what did I do?" she was sure she remembered everything about the meetings in the dungeon, and didn't recall breaking any rules.

"You passed him a questionnaire that had not been checked for staples," Barney said. "And you took a towel that the Dr. sent through in the tray carrier at the beginning of the second meeting."

"…AND," the doctor volunteered, "in a later meeting, there was the offer from the Senator, a whole folder not checked for staples."

Stunned, Clarice asked. "How come you didn't try to stop me, or report it to Dr. Chilton, if you did I'm sure he would have been more than happy to make an issue of it."

"If I told Dr. Chilton, all he'd do was blow a lot of hot air and make matters worse for you, probably attempt to get you in trouble with your superiors -you being a trainee and all. But he wouldn't have participated in the activities that result from a breach of security or make things easier for anyone.

After the fist visit, it caused both the doctor and me a bit of grief, because I had to do a complete search to verify he didn't keep any of the staples. I had to remove the doctor from the cell and search him, then search the cell. I wanted to follow the routine by the book, specially because I chose not to report the issue to Dr. Chilton. Still I felt him knowing wouldn't have made things easier, or more secure, in fact, quite the contrary. So I just chose not to tell him."

He paused a few second, organizing his memories.

"Bringing it to your attention was something we discussed with the doctor. It was then that he told me you were like a small cub that will grow up to be like one of the big cats. One you can't play with later. You had the cublike earnestness, he said. You had all the weapons, in miniature and growing .

The doctor felt that alerting you of an oversight of such magnitude might undermine your self confidence or make you ponder on your motives at a time when you needed your self assurance the most. He said he was curious to see how often would you overlook the rules, seemingly unaware of it. The doctor said he preferred the inconvenience of being subject to a search, and gave me his word he would not take advantage of the situation. Naturally I continued to go through with the search routine anyway, because that was my job.

"I was unaware until right now," Clarice said, as if suddenly waken from a reverie. "In hindsight, it seems as if the routing might have appeared bizarre or inconsequential, possibly because somehow the doctor didn't appear to me as menacing as he was made out to be," she paused, then declared, "I knew we broke the rules in Memphis when Hannibal called me back to give me Buffalo Bill's file and I reached out to take it. When I did, our fingers touched…" her voice acquired a dreamy quality to it, and she went on. "Nothing in my life until then had the impact or the significance of that touch." She looked at her lover and as usual, found in his eyes what she needed to sustain her.

"One question, if I may, Starling?" Barney was a little hesitant.

"Go ahead, ask" Clarice smiled

"Why did you take so long to join him, was it the Dr's past?" he was impressed by his own daring.

Clarice, paused, she seemed to be weighting her thoughts, shifting them back and forth. While Hannibal Lecter watched her intensely, proud of the fact that she felt free to express her feeling with such abandonment.

"I guess at first his past was a factor, but after Memphis, that changed. I kept the appearances with the Bureau but privately, inside my head; his past had no bearing on my feelings. No, not his past!" She emphasized, and then added, "we are predators, Hannibal and I; we've both killed people, albeit from different sides of the fence. His nature didn't appall me, in fact it attracted me then as it attracts me now, and I always admired his willingness to take ownership of his actions. I have great respect for that."

"What then?" Barney persisted, impressed by her forthrightness.

"For years I was torn by the constant conflict between my sworn duty and my feelings. I believed in the FBI, -in the organization, and refused to believe it was corrupted from within. I tried to annihilate my feelings for Hannibal. Back then I found them incomprehensible. And yet he was always with me, always inside my head; not 30 seconds of everyday as I told you, but in different degrees of intensity he was with me 24 hrs a day.

Over the years I feared he'd forget me, that if he thought of me at all it would be as some marginal episode from a time in his life he rather forget."

Hannibal Lecter snorted. She paused to look at him, smiled apologetically, and went on.

"After you gave me the tapes, I listened to them constantly. I wished he would come and sweep me away, just throw me over his shoulder and take me with him, so as to relieve me from the responsibility of a decision."

"Dr. Lecter would have never done that!" Barney exclaimed spontaneously.

The Dr. grinned in appreciation of Barney's comment. Then got up and graceful as a cat came around and sat on the armrest of Clarice's chair, threw his right arm protectively around her shoulders, and waited for her to continue.

"I know that," Clarice said tiredly, "but a girl can hope, and that was what I hoped for… of course it never happened, in fact, I was never sure he was in my joining him… Then, that dreadful night, I tried to make it happen, to force him to take me with him, with disastrous results" She seemed to have difficulty talking because she was getting to the part she had been avoiding to discuss. The doctor pulled her towards him almost imperceptibly, as a reassuring gesture.

She paused as if preparing to leap off a cliff, and went on "that night at Krendler's house, my feelings were more contradictory than ever. At the beginning of the evening I wanted him caught, I'm ashamed to say, at the time I had selfish motives, I thought if I caught him, I'd be reinstated. As the night went on, I admitted to myself I wanted him safe, and reasoned that he wouldn't be safe unless he was behind bars."

"That was a weak move, he would have gotten the needle" Barney said

"Not if he was declared insane again" Clarice said weakly and then murmured "I'm ashamed of the whole episode."

Hannibal Lecter grunted. Clarice continued

"Anyway, we were in the kitchen when I finally caved in and knew for certain that more than anything, I wanted to go with him. By then I didn't know how to tell him, things had gotten out of hand, everything was going too fast. He asked me a question and I gave him an answer that sounded all wrong. I just kept making the wrong moves." she shrugged in despair. "So, I handcuffed him to me, thinking he'd be forced to take me with him or be captured."

Almost instinctively she reached for his left hand and ran her index back and forth over the thin scar where his thumb had been reattached to his hand. Then, suddenly, anguished by the memory, she covered her own mouth with his hand, as someone who wants to repress a scream.

The two men waited, knowing she would go on when she was ready.

Clarice brought his hand back to her lap, when she went on with her story, she skipped to after his chopping off his thumb. " My hair was still caught in the refrigerator. He was obviously in great pain, and still had the presence to wrap the wound and then his entire hand in a wad of paper towels; then put the thumb in container with ice. Before he left I reached out, pulled him toward me, and kissed him. He looked at me and staggered out. It was awful."

She turned to Dr. Lecter. "To this day, I have difficulty dealing with the guilt of that night. That's is why I never asked you what happened after you left."

"I can tell you what happened," Barney volunteered.

Clarice turned to Barney and gave him an astonished look. "You know…You helped him?"

"Who else would have helped me?" Hannibal Lecter said in a neutral voice. " Barney or Margot were my only choices, and the Vergers Mansion was crawling with FBI."

"We almost lost him." Barney answered softly. "Do you want to hear the whole thing?"

She held on to the doctor's left hand and looked at him, there were tears in her eyes. Hannibal Lecter nodded reassuringly and she turned to Barney.

"Go on Barney" she whispered.

"Yes Barney, go on" said Dr. Lecter "I'd like to hear it too, I'm sure there is much I don't remember."

The doctor rested his chin on Clarice's head and waited for Barney to begin.

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I hope you liked. The next one will follow in two weeks, maybe less.

Comments are more than welcomed.