Disclaimer: I own nothing of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, saddly. Too bad the show is over and Angel is ending soon or I'd be begging Joss to give me a job, but alas, I settle for this. Don't sue! It's yours! Not mine! Besides, I don't have any money :P

Author's Notes: Thank you so much to all of you who have reviewed the story. Your reviews really do make a difference when I sit down to type more of my story. So thank you thank you thank you! You rock!

Chapter 7

A week Buffy stayed in her comatose disposition, walking around like a zombie, muttering to herself, and a week had gone by that no one has seen hide nor hair of Spike. A week Riley had been gone and a week, Joyce had come back home.

While Buffy could barely take care of herself she did take care of her mother and Dawn, but the fire that was in her eyes were gone. She would stare longingly at Willow and Tara or Xander and Anya when she saw the couples together. She was the only one alone. Angel left, Riley left, Parker didn't even care, and Spike, what was Spike? Whatever it was, he had left too. It left Buffy to wonder, did she even get a chance at real love being the Slayer?

It was during this week that she had retreated into herself and someone needed to pull her back out, but how? On patrol one night, she stared blankly ahead of her, but felt drawn, compelled to Spike's crypt. Everyone had told her that he was gone, but where could he have gone? Surely he couldn't have left too. Or maybe he had, maybe he had gotten sick of being kicked around.

She opened the door to the crypt and walked inside. It smelt of him, leather, smoke and a smell purely his own. She walked in further, sliding her hand over the walls idly, her fingertips making drag lines through the dust that had collected on the wall. Perhaps being here, seeing this, touching it would somehow clear her head, make her understand why she was feeling like this. The guilt of yelling at Willow still weighed heavily on her and she felt, detached. Detached from her own body, her own feelings, the world.

The door to the crypt shut behind her and the soft cockney drawl of his spread through the crypt, surrounding her, caressing her. "So now a man can't even keep his place to his bloody self? What is it ya want luv? Little Bit in trouble, need of some help? Or maybe could it be that you just missed me?" He walked up to her and looked down into her eyes and what he saw scared him.

Her eyes were void, searching, they looked straight through him. She walked up to him, her hips swaying back and forth, enticing. There was lust in her eyes as she stalked her prey, yet he sensed that if he made the slightest movement she would bolt like a frightened fawn.

"What is it Spike? Tell me, you've always been able to read me. Why do I feel this? What is my purpose? Do I feel something for you? A vampire without a soul? Is that wrong? Is this wrong? To feel some sinister attraction to my enemy for years? To think about the feel of him, inside of me, filling me? Do you think about it? Tell me Spike, come on, give me some quick little quip about this whole thing. Tell me that I'm dreaming and I'll wake up, that'll I'll be in bed, a nice normal girl, with her nice, normal boyfriend."

He could feel her heat radiating from her body and he yearned for her, yearned to touch her, to pull her into his embrace and to capture her lips with his. He yearned to plunder her mouth with his tongue, but he stood his ground, staring down at the slight girl.

"Nothing to say now Spike? This is one for the record books." She slid a finger down the middle of his chest, one short manicured nail, and she moved closer still so that the tips of her breasts just barely brushed his chest.

He could smell her, vanilla, her shampoo and body wash. She didn't wear perfume, she didn't need to, at least he didn't think so. It took all of his will power not to do anything as she tilted her head up and nibbled, sucked and kissed his neck, whispering sweet little nasties to him.

"Don't you just want to feel something Spike? Anything? Don't you just sometimes want to give into your primal? I envy you, because you can. I can't, I have to remain the holder of the world. I carry this world on my shoulders and you're the one who has always been able to pull me down, do you know that? I've seen you. I've seen the sweet side of you. You let me in. Why'd you let me in? Why did you tell me about your poetry and Dru? You should hate me, resent me, loathe me. Yet we're friends and once, we were lovers."

His resolve was crumbling and he knew that he had to say something soon or risk losing it completely. "Luv, you're not in the right frame of mind for this. Somethings wrong. So why don't we just sit down, we can talk about this..."

He was cut short by Buffy's lips pressing against his own, forcefully, drawing the breath out of him that he didn't even have. Gripping onto her hips, he let out a guttural growl and ground into her as his tongue plunged into her mouth, fighting for dominance in this fight of passion.

She pinned up against the wall and ripped his shirt off, the kiss never breaking away, each one was seeking solace in the other, and each one knew that this would probably be the all that it would ever be, a solitary cry of passion, for some truth or understanding that they could only gain by giving into their more primitive of emotions.

The emotions that were present of their first time, gentle, tender and loving were not present this time. This was primal, a need that needed to be dealt with as quickly as possible. Their clothes were ripped off of their heated bodies as quickly as they could rip them from one another.

Spike spun around and slammed Buffy up against the cold hard stone, growling against her neck as his vampiric face was showing. "Do you want a monster luv? Did you miss the monster?" With no intention of hurting her he slid his large incisors across the side of her neck, leaving a trail of blood running down that he quickly lapped up. This action elicited a moan from Buffy who writhed under him against the wall.

He had been hurt, she had done so many things to him that had hurt him and she had come crawling to him! Crawling! For as much as he loved her, he loathed her as well. She wanted her monster, well tonight she was going to get her monster.

Her nails dug into his back, tearing at the skin that was back there and the air smelt of sex and blood. She knew what she was doing. She wanted this, needed this. She needed pain, to be pounded into until she cried for more and she knew that Spike would give it to her. She could be brought back into the world of the living, the feeling. She pushed back onto him and he fell, toppling over onto the cement coffin. His body was hard and unyielding and she clung to it like a lifeline.

He pulled back and looked down at her with his yellow eyes and he still saw the animal lusting that laid behind those green orbs. She wasn't even put off by his monster. His heart nearly collapsed for this girl who had been through so much pain and agony. Well he would give her what she wanted. He was her puppy, to be whipped and beaten and used as she deemed fit.

Finally, after a night of lovemaking, in the most animalistic of sense, they both passed out in one another's arms, exhausted, bloody and caked in sweat.

With his last ounce of strength before he passed out, Spike wrapped his tired arms around his lover, holding her close to him, taking solace in the beating of her heart and wished that she could feel the comfort of his as well, but even he didn't get that, he didn't have a heart.

She woke later on, her lover still passed out next to her and she found his arms wrapped around her. She felt safe, comforted, she... felt. Slipping out of his arms as so not to wake him she quickly dressed and as she was heading out of the door she looked back, the place was a mess and she smiled to herself. Walking over to Spike she bent over at the waist and placed a gentle kiss on his lips and whispered, "thank you. Maybe on day I can figure out all of my emotions, but thank you, you have no idea what that meant to me, or what you mean to me. In fact, as soon as I figure it out, I'll let you know." She smoothed his hair that had become tousled and mussed during their fierce lovemaking. Turning she walked out into the sunlight of the day and left her sleeping lover of the night.





A.N.: I know that this story has been pretty dark lately, but the mood should pick up soon, maybe. Anyways, review review review! :)