Alright, a quick explanation.



Upon trying to finish this fanfic, I had some mixed feelings. The original ending was a bit happier,

or more light-hearted atleast. This is the alternate ending... much, much more dark. If rape seriously

bothers you, I wouldn't suggest this chapter. It's about half the same as chapter three, with some

serious differences near the middle and the end.

Everyone still belongs to Jhonen.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 3

"...freedom to enjoy what was meant to be enjoyed...

...no longer do I feel isolated..."

Familiar, all too familiar. Like a horrible case of de-ja-vu, Dib found himself slinking silently

up to his room after a long and antagonizing afternoon. He knew that this day wouldn't end like the

other one though, he knew that Gaz wouldn't follow him up to check on him. She wouldn't show up

to comfort him with a loving blanket of friendliness and trust. No, today Dib would face his

frusteration with the world alone.

The opressing weight of failure followed him up the carpeted stairs and into his cluttered domain.

There, it made itself at home, casting a gloomy feel over the area. Not bothering to turn on

the lights, Dib removed his jacket and boots and slunk into the unkept bed. Soft sheets cushioned

his weary body, and deep golden eyes slid shut. Dib pulled a pillow over his face, muffling a sigh

and letting himself relax. The air in the small room felt hot and humid, it smelt stale. He wanted

to get up and start the fan, but Dib's body just wouldn't listen. It was content with its state of

deathlike placidness. His eyes remained closed, ears listening to quiet sounds muffled by the

pillow. He could hear the electronic buzz that was constant throughout the house, the scraping

call of cicadas out in the yard mixed with the chirping of early crickets. The eerie stillness

mixed with the thick heat weighed down heavy on Dib's eyelids. One again, blissful sleep began to

overtake the burdened body.

"Dib...?"

Sienna eyes snapped open at the sound of a soft voice surprisingly familiar. Dib hesitated,

blinking away sleep. Only when his name was repeated again, closer, did he remove the pillow and

peer in question at the source of the voice.

Through the slightly ajar door Gaz peeked in. An unreadable expression was written across her face

as she watched him.

Dib slowly sat himself up, the curiousity not leaving him for a moment, heartbeat increasing.

"Yeah...?"

Gaz took a step forward, deeper into her brother's room. Her head was lowered slightly, Dib's eyes

searched to meet hers. The girl's demeanor held an air of defeat, of submissiveness. When her eyes

met Dib's, a tiny alarm went off in his mind. Gaz held a gaze of someone completly broken, scarred

or surpressed. Dib nervously reconized the look, too. It was the same stare that he met

everytime he'd faced the mirror. Everytime he dared to look at his reflection, to study himself.

Dib knew that Gaz was a strong person, frighteningly strong at times. She shouldn't be like this,

dragging herself into his room like a beaten slave. Somewhere, subconciously, Dib knew that he was

to blame for the shattered soul infront of him.

For a long time the siblings remained fixated on one another. Their soft breathing mixed with the

other evening sounds, outside the land grew darker. After moments that seemed like eternity, Gaz

broke the stare, downcasting her eyes once again, and took a place beside Dib on the bed. Dib's

soft gaze watched her, waiting for possibly an explanation for her sudden appearance.

The heavy silence was carefully pushed aside.

"Dib...there's...there's something we need to do..." Gaz took a breath as though she intended to

continue, but stopped.

Dib's mind searched for meaning behind the words, wanting her to go on.

"Something's wrong with you, Dib...different from the stuff that's always been wrong with you. How

could you do that to me?" She suddenly glared up at him, heated anger mixed with a deep pain as the

true feelings burst forth. "Not only that...but I was awake the other night, when you came into

my room...what do you want exactly, Dib?" The words were spat at him brutally, piercing the boy's

heart with needles.

Dib's couldn't respond, he was trembling, voice caught in his throat. He hadn't relized how badly

she'd been injured by his unthinking, selfish acts. The one person that he'd opened up too, the

one person he loved, was now verbally battering him. He knew what he'd done was wrong...but it'd

felt right. Gaz's voice continued to buzz in Dib's ears, but he quickly became lost in his own

swirling storm of regret. He was sobbing now, desperatly trying to hold it back. Even without being

able to hear Gaz's words, for they were muffled by the inner tempest, they still beat against his

brain.

"Dib? Hello? Earth to Dib? Listen to me!" Clear, frusterated words rang through the volley. Wet

golden eyes turned and met the dark hardened ones.

"Did you hear what I just said..?" Gaz appeared even more wrathful then before, teeth clenched and

hands locked in fists in her lap, nearly all signs of her submission had been replaced with anger.

Dib now held the defeated look as he slowly shook his head. Gaz suddenly sat up off the bed with

a growl of disgust.

"I'm doing this for you, Dib! I don't know how else to solve this problem..."

Just as the boy opened his mouth to question exactly what she was going to do, a soft pair of lips

roughly met his in a forceful kiss.

Dib literally yelped in surprise, his horridly bruised conscience pushed aside by the confusion.

He barely had a chance to return the kiss before it ended and he found himself pushed back into

a laying position on the soft comforter of his bed. Perplexed honey-colored orbs watched as Gaz

locked Dib's bedroom door and returned to his side. Somewhere in her eyes, Dib knew that he saw

regret. Again they studied each other, Gaz looking down at Dib, her face shadowed and serious.

Dib still held the look of a flustered schoolboy. He knew what was going on, physically he wanted

it, but Dib questioned how this'd benefit their already uneasy relationship. Almost no words were

spoken from that point forward. Without a smile, Gaz crept onto the bed, positioning her body over

his. Their lips met once more, softer this time, yet still lacking the emotional comfort that

should've come naturally with the action. Dib squirmed slightly as he felt Gaz's hands slide

up the front of his shirt, massaging his chest. He wasn't used to being touched, and her hands felt

rough and cold despite the heat of the room. Gaz broke off the kiss and sat herself back a little,

silently encouraging Dib to remove his shirt. Dib nervously complied, pulling the light blue article

of clothing over his head and tossing it to the floor. He lay there now, pale and bare chested,

watching his sister for the next move. She was clearly incharge, though they equally lacked

experience in the situation at hand. With a shrug, Gaz began sliding up her purple dress,

revealing soft and unscathed flesh that'd been hidden underneath. Soon the dress too joined Dib's

shirt on the floor. Dib felt a whimper form in his throat as he viewed the sight before him. Gaz

sat strattled over his waist, one knee placed on either side of the bed beneath him. She now only

wore plain black panties, a matching bra that covered her decently sized breasts, the skull

necklace and a look of stubborn pride. Dib felt himself grow hot, the pressure of arousal forming,

much to his embarressment. He could'nt believe how much that one peice of clothing had hidden

from his eyes during the years.

Again Gaz came to him, pressing her body against Dib's and renewing their broken kiss. Dib felt

her tongue enter his mouth this time, he savored the bittersweet flavor and began to relax finally.

Her hands were there again, on his chest, slowly moving downward, gently massaging his body as

they went. Dib's own hands slipped along the smooth skin of Gaz's back before venturing to the

front, sliding to her chest and coming to rest on her sensitive swells of flesh. They remained

covered until Dib pressed onward, pushing up the concealing fabric. His fingers continued to work,

unsure digits carefully oppressing the light pink nipples, resulting in a surpsrised gasp from the

occupied lips of Gaz. Dib felt her body shudder against his and then resume its previous movements,

more enthusiastic then moments before. Together, their breathing increased, Dib found the clasp on

the back of his sister's bra, undid it and tossed the item away. Gaz's hands had finished their

persuit downwards and came to rest on the obvious excitement of Dib, concealed under thick black

denim. The moment her hands came to that point, Dib tensed up again. Gaz either didn't notice or

didn't care about Dib's sudden uneasyness, she boldly continued on, unzipping his pants and moving

out of the way just enough to slide them down. Dib could only watch as the bare-chested girl's

touch returned, this time uncovering his hard erection from the UFO-print boxers that it stood

proudly behind. As she firmly took hold of it, Dib's eyes slid shut in an ecstasy that he'd never

before experienced. A powerful feeling overtook his weakened body, an intense sensation of

pleasure and trust. Dib heard himself moan as she worked him over with careful hands and the

occasional lick, rationality and regret was quickly making its way far from his mind. Gaz's grip

was firm, almost rough on him, but it brought such a great feeling. Something else came hidden

with that feeling, an emotion that Dib hadn't wanted to feel prior, but now, it rushed him and

conquered his senses.

A hand quickly reached down to stop his sibling from her task.

She looked up at him in mild confusion, Dib watched her for a moment, then came forward, pinning her

back-down to the bed. He was on top now, this is what Dib wanted. The weakening resistance in his

mind had finally snapped, no longer would he hold back from the true emotions that he wanted to

show her. The new feeling swam through his veins, pumping something into him that should've been

long silenced by the programmed morals of humanity.

As the feelings burst forth, he held her down, unconcious of her sudden fear and struggles. He

kissed her neck, her forehead, her cheek, all as fast and as hard as he could, pressing lips into

every patch of sweet skin that showed itself. Dib wanted to prove this to her. She'd come to him, she made him feel good, he was determined to return the

favor ten-fold. The feral, instinctive part of him fueled this, screaming that harder was better.

The human emotion of love and acceptance swirling dangerously with the primitive need to reproduce.

The boy was oblivious to his physical actions, only knowing want and need. Helplessly driven by

a once-satisfyed craving for acceptance.

He'd torn the last of her clothing off, only taking a moments time to let his eye roam across the

well-formed and pale skinned body. He never looked at her face. Dib lept to her again, seperating

her legs with his own, positioning his waist at a desirable angle and now threatened to enter.

Through vision clouded by lust, he couldn't see her pain. His thick organ waited outside for a

moment, gracing its head against her entrance. Just the touch of moisture threw Dib's mind off

even further as he forced himself inward, violating soft virgin flesh in one hard, swift motion.

It was tight, it drove him on, it dared him to try and continue. Dib's ears heard nothing of the

painful cries eminating from his beautiful partner as he ravaged her, forcing the now spoiled

sweetness to yield. Somewhere inside, Dib was making connections. The power he was showing her

now, the power that he brought inside her, they'd prove to her the power of his love. This

thought, that she'd be so happy once she relized what he wanted to show her, made him smile.

He continued to drive on, racing towards climax, the wetness holding him inwards, inviting

him to stay. Happiness. True, unscathed, happiness. Here it was. His hands raced themselves across

her chest and face again, touching, feeling and absorbing part of her. They needed each other, two

parts of the same whole, true sibling or not. The roving hands returned to holding her legs apart

as his hips bucked hard against the bed and her opening. As if a veil came off of golden eyes and

cotton left his ears, Dib's awarness again returned to him just as he released himself into Gaz. A

sharp cry emitted from his throat as he put everything into that last thrust, hot liquid meeting

hot liquid, a final bonding of the flesh. Time stopped, life slowed itself to hold this moment

in its memory. All too slowly, the sounds of the night crept discreetly back into the bedroom,

mixing once again with the muggy air.

Eyes still closed, the world became normal again. Dib's heart was racing, mind trying to slow

with his breathing, euphorical relaxation washing over him, his body overjoyed with its release,

thankful to get rid of the mind-altering chemicals. The contentedness was cut horribly short. A

nerve-shattering sob cut through the nighttime heat. Dib's gut twisted painfully inside, a

feeling of nausia enveloped the now trembling body. The sobs continued, uncontrolled. It was an

out of body experience, he could see himself there, watching his sister on the bed, wailing. She

cried in a way that he hadn't seen her cry since she was an infant. He stepped back, her voice

continued, cracking with the pains, physical and mental, of yet another betrayl. He'd destroyed

her. He knew it. This wasn't love. Gaz's legs pulled themselves up to her chest as she pulled

herself into a fetal position on the bed, wrapped tightly in wet, stained sheets. The cries

wracked her unstable frame, arms close to her chest, shaking as her body fought with the shock

and abuse it just endured. The realization of his actions overwhelmed Dib, it hit him full force,

more powerful then any of the obsessive emotions that'd stormed his body just moments before.

He'd destroyed her. The one person that he could ever come close to. The one person that ever

loved him. She lay a mental ruin on his bed now. A victim of selfish desires. His selfish desires.

The screaming voice echoed harshly in his head, grating the bones of his skull, driving him out of the room in a twisted,

helpless panic. The thoughts, images, smells and tastes of moments before bombarded his

cracking senses. He ran until the air seared his lungs and the tears of self-hatred drowned his

eyes in their vengance. He ran until he found dark. Darker then the night air outside his bedroom

window, darker than the space behind your eyelids when they're closed in an uncomfortable sleep.

Darker than any closet that a child's imaginary monster lives in, darker than a cavernous void,

threatening to swallow up one's last grasp on sanity. Dib found himself staring in the mirror.