The next night after sunset Angel knocked on Tara's door. The others had told him she spent almost the whole day in her room. She only came down for food. He heard her invite him in and he opened the door. She was sitting on the floor by the window. She had removed the bedding from the bed and made herself her own bed by the window.
"Is something wrong with the bed?"
She shook her head, not taking her eyes off the moon. "It's me, not the bed."
"Okay," Angel said. He sat on the edge of the bed and watched her looking at the moon. She was transfixed. "Um, if you're up to it, I'd like to take you to see Lorne."
Finally her eyes left the moon and she turned to him. "Who's Lorne?"
"He's a demon. He can read people," Angel explained. "He owns this bar called Caritas."
"He's a good demon?" Tara asked. Angel nodded his head. "How does he read people?"
"He can't see specifics, but he can give you an idea of what kind of path you have ahead of you," Angel explained. "What you're meant to be or do, those kinds of things." Angel paused, not sure how she would react to one part of the process. "Thing is…you have to sing."
"Sing?" Tara asked, confused.
"Yeah, Lorne can only read you if you're singing," Angel said. "You would have to sing a song for him."
"Sing? In public?" Tara asked, nervous now. She had never been much for any kind of public speaking or performances. Angel nodded his head. "Oh, I-I don't know about that."
"It's not that bad," Angel said, lying a little. "I've done it before, and trust me, I don't have a good singing voice. Actually, we've all done it before."
"But he'll be able to see my future?" Tara asked. She wanted to know what she had ahead of her. The unknown scared her.
"In general," Angel said. He saw the apprehension on her face. "If you wanna wait, that's fine."
Tara looked back to the moon and thought about the future. The sooner she knew what she was up against the better. Stage fright should be the least of her fears. She nodded her head.
"Okay," she said. "I'll go tonight."
* * *
When they arrived at Caritas, a green-skinned demon with red horns and hair approached them. He was wearing an electric blue suit with a silk black shirt and matching blue silk tie. He smiled as he spoke with Angel.
"Angel, it's been ages," he said. "What brings you by? Business or pleasure?"
"Business," Angel said. "Lorne, this is Tara Maclay. She'd like you to read her."
Lorne turned to Tara and smiled warmly. He took her by the arm and led her to a table with a binder on it. "No problem. Pick a song, and we'll see what you've got."
Tara nodded her head and started flipping pages, searching for a song she felt she could do a decent job of singing. Lorne and Angel moved over to the bar to talk.
"So, what's her story?" Lorne asked. "You usually don't bring them to me unless it's pretty serious."
"She's cawdr am daear," Angel said. Lorne nodded his head, recognizing the name of Tara's demon species. "Two months ago she saved the world and got sucked into a demon dimension where she spent two hundred years in torment before her friends brought her back."
"She ages well," Lorne said. He knew cawdr am daear weren't immortal and was curious how she could still be alive. "Which dimension was it?"
"Moktar," Angel replied. Lorne glanced over at him in shock. Then he looked back to Tara, surprised that she was as put together as she was.
"Poor thing," he said sympathetically. "She's a strong one though. After two hundred years in Moktar I would expect her to be in a padded room somewhere."
"I was surprised, too," Angel said. "A friend sent her to me, since I have some experience with demon dimensions."
"She's trying to figure out her purpose in life," Lorne said in understanding.
"That and she's trying to find some control," Angel explained. "It might not be obvious, but she's having trouble controlling the urge to kill she acquired in Moktar."
"Understandable," Lorne said. He turned to the bartender, ordered a drink and then returned to the conversation. "Don't worry. Once she starts singing we'll figure out what she's got to look forward to."
The bartender returned with the drink Lorne had ordered and he carried it over to the table where Tara was seated. Lorne sat next to Tara and Angel sat on the opposite side of her. He set the drink in front of her.
"On the house," he said. Tara looked at the drink and was surprised to see it was her favorite drink.
"How'd you know?" she asked him.
"It's a gift," he said with a smile. "Did you find a song?"
"Uh, yeah, I think so," Tara said hesitantly. She showed the song to Lorne and he nodded his head.
"Okay, then. Let's get the show on the road, sweetie," he said. He took her by the hand and led her up to the stage. They waited for a large, yellow-skinned demon to finish singing his own off-key version of "New York, New York." When he was done, Lorne took the microphone as the bar's patrons clapped half-heartedly.
"Wow, folks. I don't know if that was Klarg or Frank Sinatra," Lorne lied, a fake laugh escaping. He pulled Tara forward. "Okay, kids, I'd like to introduce you to Tara Maclay. All the way from Sunnydale, California. Put your hands together."
The patrons clapped sporadically and Lorne handed the microphone over to Tara. She looked extremely nervous as the opening notes of Nina Gordon's "Tonight and the Rest of My Life" began playing. Lorne had just returned to his seat as she began singing. He and Angel exchanged a look of surprise when they heard Tara's voice. Usually the only good singing voice to be heard in Caritas was Lorne's own. But Tara's voice was sweet and melodic. Lorne started to think she sang the song better than the original artist. Angel looked around to see that everybody's attention was on Tara. Usually the bar's patrons would still be chattering or moving about. They were all mesmerized. When she was done, she nearly jumped out of her skin when the bar erupted with applause. She looked around in shock. Someone even whistled loudly. She smiled nervously, put the microphone back in its stand and quickly left the stage. Angel and Lorne were both smiling broadly at her when she returned. Lorne stood and pulled her chair out for her.
"Was I that good?" she asked as the applause started to die down.
"Sweetheart, if even a fourth of the people who sang here had voices like yours, I would run a record company instead of a karaoke bar," Lorne said. He got a thoughtful look on his face. "Caritas Records does have a nice ring to it."
"I don't really like getting up in front of people," she said. "I don't think I'd be very successful."
"Well, I can't say you'll be signing any record deals," Lorne said. "Although if I hadn't just read you, I would strongly suggest that."
"What did you, um, read?" Tara asked, nervous about what Lorne was going to say to her.
"You've got a bumpy road ahead of you, but you know that," Lorne said. "Some of the bumps will be bigger than others. There will be times when you move forward only to move back. You can't let that stop you."
"Lorne, you're sounding like a horoscope," Angel said impatiently.
"That's almost what this is, Angel-cakes," Lorne said sharply. "I'm just calling it as I see it. Do you mind?"
Angel sat back and crossed his arms over his chest. Lorne turned back to Tara.
"What am I…will I get back to normal?" she asked. She looked into her drink, which she hadn't touched yet. "I just want my old life back."
"Sorry, honey, it won't be that simple," Lorne said. "Your friends brought you back because they care about you, but they were all part of the big picture. The Powers That Be have a plan for you. I'm not sure what it is, but you have a reason for being here. A big reason."
"The Powers That Be?" Tara asked in confusion. "You make it sound like I'm a puppet."
"Oh, you still have free will. You can choose to do whatever you want. You could have chosen not to come to Los Angeles," Lorne said. "The Powers have just put you in the position to choose to go their way or a different way."
"Something's going to happen?" Angel asked. Lorne's reading of Tara had turned into more than just a simple reading. The things he was suggesting sounded like they involved more than just Tara.
"Something," Lorne said. "Like I said, I'm not sure what it is."
"How do I know I'm choosing the right way?" Tara asked.
"That's the eternal question, sweetie," Lorne said. He stood, having told her all he could tell her. "You never can know, not until you've chosen."
Tara fidgeted with the straw in her drink, thinking about what Lorne had said. She didn't like the sound of it. She didn't want this. She just wanted to be normal.
"Oh, and she'll keep her promise," Lorne said before he started walking away. Tara looked up, confused. "She'll wait for you."
Once Lorne had left, Tara and Angel sat in silence. Angel just watched Tara, waiting for some kind of reaction. She seemed to be in shock.
"I don't want to be part of a plan," she said finally. Angel nodded his head and leaned forward on the table.
"I know how you feel," he said. "Makes you feel kind of helpless, right?"
She nodded her head and took her first sip of her drink. She looked up at Angel suddenly, fear in her eyes. "I can't do this. I'm not strong. I'm not some special plan person for the Powers That Be. I'm not like you or Buffy."
"I think you're stronger than you think," Angel said reassuringly. "I know I've only known you for about a day, so I don't know a whole lot about you. But I know you saved the world. I know you spent two hundred years in a demon dimension, and you can still form coherent sentences and spend more than two minutes without killing something. That makes you pretty damn strong in my book."
"I came here to get back to normal," she said, her voice shaking. "I didn't come here to find out I was part of some plan."
Angel nodded his head and sat back in his chair. "That's usually how it works."
