Dear Tara,

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I don't think I'm even going to send it. I miss you already and you just left. You're not even in LA yet. Pretty stupid, huh? I just can't stop thinking about you or how I'm going to live without you. The two months that you were gone were torture. The only reason I managed was because I knew I'd bring you back. I knew I could save you. I knew I had the power. Now you're gone and neither of us knows when you'll be back.

That's one thing that scares me. I have all this power inside me and I know it's because of you. I did magic before I met you, but it was all so screwed up. Then I met you and I had balance. I could do spells without screwing things up and hurting my friends. Before you came I made Buffy get engaged to Spike and I made Giles blind Funny in theory, but scary when Xander's got demons chasing him all over the place. How can I return to that, being without you?

And I'm just babbling now. That's me. The babbler. God, I can't send this letter. I'm babbling all about me like my problems are more important. They're not. They're insignificant. I just wish there was something I could do to help you get through what you're going through. I wish I could understand the pain you feel. I feel it, too. On some level, I always will feel what you feel. You are a part of me, a part of my soul. Always. Byth.

I can't send this letter. I think I'm going nuts or something. I just miss you. I'm going to stop now before I get on a bus to LA.

Love always, Willow

* * *

Dear Tara,

So I actually sent that last letter. You didn't respond. I hope you're okay. Maybe it didn't get to you. Maybe you didn't read it. I don't know. I called Angel today, but I just got voicemail. I couldn't bring myself to leave a message. I don't know why. I'm being weird I guess. That's why you love me, right? I'm weird and neurotic.

I decided to go back to school. It gives me a distraction so I'm not sitting at home worrying how you're doing all the time. I was starting to go a little crazy. Buffy and Dawn both told me so. I think I was getting on their nerves. But I managed to get enrolled in all those classes from last semester that I took incompletes in. I can't believe I took incompletes in five classes. At least I didn't fail them. Can you imagine me failing one course, let alone five? My head would probably explode. Not that I want to test that theory. Let's not.

Things are pretty normal around here. There haven't been any new big baddies to deal with. Knock on wood. I think something's up with Giles, though. He's been kind of different lately. Un-Giles-like. I think he's worried about Buffy, and it's not the normal worry that he always has. I don't think he's worried about her getting hurt. I think it's something else. I don't know. I guess I'll figure it out eventually.

Nothing else going on here. I miss you. Nothing new there. I love you. Nothing new there either.

Forever yours, Willow

* * *

Dear Tara,

Now I'm getting worried. I know I'm writing letters about every other day like a spaz, but I called today and Wesley was being very secretive. He avoided my questions. I asked Buffy about it. She said I was being paranoid. But I can't get over this feeling I have in the pit of my stomach. It's a sickening feeling, like when you eat too much of that bakery frosting and you're all jittery from the sugar rush and your stomach feels like it wants to jump right out of your body. I know this feeling has to do with you and I don't know what to do. Are things getting worse instead of better for you? Has something happened? Are you even you anymore? I have all these questions and Wesley wouldn't answer any of them. Maybe you asked him not to tell me anything. I just don't know what to do. I hate feeling like this.

Maybe I'm overreacting. I'll talk to Buffy again, and maybe I'll hear from you or Angel before I get the urge to write you another one of these insane, babble-filled letters. I just want to know that you're okay. I can't help it.

If you need anything, you know I'm here. I'm waiting. I made you a promise, and I'll keep it.

Love, Willow