A/N- Okay first of all thanks for all the reviews , I really appriciate them , second this chapter should be a lot longer and will include an explination for Draco's slutty ways, more Ginny , some Draco/Hermione fluff (but they're not together yet) and you get to meet Jamie White.

House Elf Relations Chapter 4

That night at dinner Ginny was suspiciously absent , so Lavender took her place next to Hermione.

" Herm I am so , so sorry about what happend." Lavender apologized. " We weren't planning that , it's just he's Draco Malfoy and having him in my bedroom , well , I just couldn't control myself."

"Our." Was the only thing Hermione had to say.

" What ?" Lavender asked confused.

" It's our bedroom , meaning that two people other than yourself , live there. Please try to remember that in the future." Hermione said tightly , not looking up from her mashed potatoes.

" Normally , I would have remembered that , really , Herm , I would have. But Draco is just so hot and I let him sweet talk me into doing it. But that will never happen again , I promise." Lavender told her in a firm voice banging her hand against the table to emphasize her point.

Hermione finally took her eyes off her plate and looked Lavender in the face.

" Thanks , Lav. Look I'm really not feeling to great , I'm going to go to bed , so could you tell Harry and Ron where I am when they come back from Quidditch practice ?"

" Sure , oh and Hermione , you might want to avoid our bathroom for a while. Draco and I didn't get a chance to clean up in there before dinner."

Whimpering slightly , Hermione stood up and left the Gryffindor table. As she passed by the Slytherin table her arm was grabbed by , none other than , Draco Malfoy.

" What do you want , Malfoy ?" She asked wearily.

" I need to talk to you." Draco stated and then after taking a closer look at her , he narrowed his eyes and asked. " Are you alright ?"

" You didn't seem to care to much about my welfare this afternoon , Malfoy. Why the sudden intrest ? And to answer your question , no , I'm not alright , I just want to go to bed." At this Draco raised his eyebrows in an inquistive manner. " Not like that Malfoy , do you think you could get your mind out of the gutter for just one moment ?"

"Hmmm." Draco hummed pretending to think. " No , I was born with my mind in the gutter and I'll die with my mind in the gutter , thank you very much. Oh by the way , sorry about this afternoon , I tend to get a little cranky when interupted mid fuck."

" Whatever , if you want to talk to me your going to have to come back to Gryffindor tower with me , I can't stand it in here any longer." Hermione informed him while rubbing her temples.

" Okay , I'll come with you , I've finished my dinner anyway." Draco told her quickly. As he stood up she caught a glimpse of his plate on which the food was barely touched but refused to comment on it.

They walked in comfortable silence until they reached the Fat Lady's portrait , Hermione opened her mouth to say the password when Draco spoke first.

"Hello Flo." He said cheerfully to the painting. " Draco Malfoy is the best shag I've ever had." As the portrait opened and Draco walked inside Hermione could have sworn she heard the Fat Lady muttering something about Draco being ' such a nice , handsome boy.'

" What the hell was that ?" Hermione enquired once they had taken seperate seats by the fire in the common room.

" What ?" Draco asked raising his head from where lay on the couch.

" That whole ' Draco Malfoy is the best shag I've ever had' thing."

" Oh , Lavender changed the password this afternoon , before dinner. I must say it'll be rather amusing to see the Gryffindor boys trying to get back in here. Can you imagine Weasley saying that ?"

Hermione giggled slightly at the thought of Ron saying that Draco was the best shag he'd ever had , and then she instantly regretted it as pain shot through her head. She once again bought her hands up and massaged her temples. Not that it did much good.

" Headache ?" Draco enquired , sitting up slightly.

"Yeah."

After moving into a half-sitting , half-leaning position against the arm of the couch and spreading his legs , Draco asked her to come over to him , gesturing between his spread legs.

" Why ?" Hermione asked narrowing her eyes at him.

" So I can get rid of your headache." Draco said as though it was the simplest thing in the world.

" I don't think having sex with you is going to cure my headache , Malfoy." Hermione said skeptically.

" Why do you always think that I mean sex ?" Draco asked gettting fustrated at her stubborness to following his instructions.

" Draco , think about this afternoon and then ask me that question again."

" Fair enough. I'll rub your head for you , now come over here."
" Fine." She answered getting up , going over and placing herself in a sitting position between his legs , sitting straight up.

Sighing Draco reached around her waist and pulled her back so she was lying flush against him with her head just under his chin. Then he brought his hand up and began to softly stroke her hair away from her forehead.

" So what did you want to talk to me about ?" She asked after a few minutes of stroking. Even though she hated to admit it , Malfoy actually knew what he was doing.

" I'm going to join S.P.E.W. and I've already got a few ideas to make it better , would you like to hear them ?" He asked as her switch from stroking to softly pulling strands of her bushy hair to relieve the tension causing the headache.

Sighing as she felt her headache begin to fade , Hermione answered. " No let's meet in the library tomorrow. I'm too tired at the moment."

" Okay." Draco agreed as he began working on her pressure points. Hermione moaned and squirmed against him , which caused his body to react in a very natural way.

Frowning at the feeling of something poking into her lower back Hermione turned and asked. " Draco , is your wand poking me in the back ?"

" I..um...yeah...sorry." He stuttered as he reached down to readjust his 'wand'.

" Why do you do it ?" Hermione asked after a few minutes of companionable silence.

" Why do I do what ?" Draco asked taking his hands from her head and putting them around her waist.

"Have sex with so many different girls you don't care about." Hermione answered quietly.

" Because I'm good at it." Draco answered honestly , while begging to stroke her stomache gently.

" Really , so your reason for going through girls like tissues is because your good at

it ?"

" Yes , all my life nothing I've done has never been good enough , not in school , not in Quidditch. But now I've finally found something I'm good at and I intend to keep doing it."

" Draco , why are you being so nice to me this year ?" Hermione asked tiredly.

" Well I guess I've done a lot of growing up over the summer , I relized that muggleborns have the same right as anyone else to be here , I mean even people with wizarding blood can be squibs. Plus the fact that my fathers already disowned me helps , he always used to threaten me with that whenever I disagreed with him." Draco explained while still rubbing her tummy.

"Oh. So are we friends now ?"

"Do you want to be ?"

" Yes." Hermione said quietly trying to keep herself awake.

" Then we're friends , and as your friend I feel it's my duty to tell you , that you should go to bed , your falling asleep." Draco said gently pushing on her shoulders.

" No , I don't want to go to bed just yet. Tell me about your family." Hermione said while snuggling into him.

Sighing Draco complied. "Well my father , as you know , is a deatheater , he doesn't see me as his son , only his heir , he was always very cold towards me. The only time that he really paid attention to me when I was needing to be punished. My mother , well I never did see her much , only on formal occasions , even when I did see her she was distant , hardly paid attention to me.The house elves were always kinder to me than my actual parents , they were always fussing over me."

" Even Dobby."Hermione asked with her eyes closed.

" Especially Dobby , even after my father had order him not to be nice to me. Every time I saw him after that he was always belting himself over the head with some blunt object." Draco smiled as he looked down and relized that Hermione had fallen asleep.

* This is nice , just laying here holding each other. I can't believe I finally have a friend* he thought to himself as he felt his eyelids getting heavy. * I'll just rest my eyes for a moment..* He thought as he laid his head on top of Hermione's head and promptly fell asleep.

Meanwhile in the Great Hall.

Lavender had fallen victim to food poisioning and had to be taken to the hospital wing. About halfway there she realized she hadn't told the other Gryffindors the new password , but as luck would have it she spotted Ginny Weasley exiting a broom closet with a Hufflepuff boy she'd never seen before.

" Ginny , Ginny , come here." Lavender called.

Sighing and rolling her eyes Ginny made her way over to a rather green looking Lavender.

" What is it Lavender ?" Ginny demanded impatiently looking back at Jaime.

" I changed the password this afternoon now it's ' Draco Malfoy is the best shag I've ever had.' could you please tell the other Gryffindors , they don't know it yet." Lavender explained to her.

" Sure , and by the way I totally agree." Ginny said.

" Wha.." Lavender began before proceeding to vomit all over the floor just missing Ginny's shoes.

" Ewww. Maybe you should go to the Hospital Wing." Ginny suggested stepping futher away for the disgusting mess on the floor.

Nodding her head miserably Lavender wandered off down the hall clutching her stomach.

Stepping up behind Ginny , Jamie asked. " What was wrong with her and , more importantly did she get any upchuck on you ?"

Turning to face him Ginny answered.

" I have no idea what was wrong with her , and thank you for your concern but no she didn't get it on me , but it was sweet of you to ask anyway. Now come on I've got somewhere where we can be alone." Ginny said taking his hand and dragging him towards Gryffindor tower.

Gryffindor Common Room.

Entering the Gryffindor common room Ginny and Jaime were confronted with a rather strange , although not unpleasant sight. Draco and Hermione curled up asleep with their arms around each other.

" Awww , that's so cute." Ginny cooed in an extremly girlish way.

" Umm , yeah I guess it is , but shouldn't we wake them up before the rest of your housemates come in ?" Jaime asked putting his arms around Ginny's shoulders.

" None of them know the new password , they're not coming in until me or Hermione let them." Ginny smirked. " Now let's go upstairs so we don't disturb them." Ginny Said dragging Jaime up the stairs.

Half an Hour Later.

A crowd of Gryffindors were standing outside the portrait with a very pissed off Harry and Ron in the front yelling at the Fat Lady.

" Bloody don't tell me it isn't the right password , you silly painting. Now I'll say it one more time so you'd better open up. ' Sexy Dragon.'" Ron yelled completely flying off the handle.

" Sorry dear , that's the wrong password I can't let you enter." The Fat Lady said calmly.

" BLOODY HELL." Ron's shout could be heard all around the castle.

A/N - woah this is the longest chapter I've ever written , so please let me know if you like it. Do you know what I hate , I hate writers who demand like 10 reviews for the next chapter , i mean some of their stories are good and if you do this I'm not knocking you , I just saying it's kinda rude. You have my muses Spunky!Draco and SecretlyLustingAfterSpunkyDraco!Hermione to thank for this chapter hopefully the next chapter will be up within the next 2 days but it will be a lot shorter. Seriously thank you for all the reviews though. If you want to read a seriously funny D/Hr fic read Draco Malfoy the Amazing Bouncing...Rat by Maya it's the funniest thing I've ever read. So thanks again and the next chapter should be up soon.