Chapter 4
By Lyaliro
Warning: This fanfic contains shoujo-ai, also known as yuri, which is also known as a girlxgirl relationship. Don't flame me because you weren't smart enough to read the warning.
The look of surprise on Sakura's face melted away as I stumbled over her name, "S-Sakura. This is Sakura." I gestured towards her, "And Sakura, this is Kozue-chan." Out of habit I added that playful suffix, unaware I even said it till the word left my lips. I could feel her presence behind me. Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, a barely controlled collection of energy in human form, her arms wrapped about my shoulders and ready to burst any second. Her hand extended to Sakura, and they shook stiffly, or Sakura shook stiffly, rather. Their eyes met. A harsh glare that even I never saw before was shot to Kozue. Those blue orbs returned only an offer of friendship. For what seemed like eons they were locked in a battle of wills, till finally Sakura turned away, slipping me a glance of disappointment and hurt.
"A little overprotective, are we?" Kozue said, her voice stinging like the edge of a knife.
"You two can talk alone. I have to be going now anyway," Sakura spat out, venom dripping off each syllable. Her tone had a certain note of sadness to it, one that said she wanted to cry out and sob until the tears carved channels into her cheeks and her heart ceased to yearn for me. With that she stood and stormed off. Being as close to the Clow Mistress as I was, I could see small threads of pure magic traveling over her body like electricity. A few individuals with a bit of sixth sense quickly got out of her way. Angry storm clouds briefly blocked out the sun, dispersing as Sakura stepped out of the playground.
"Your friend doesn't seem to like me very much."
I sighed, "She has good reason to, Kozue."
"You can tell me later," she whispered, leaning to my ear. Shivers went up my spine. Her breath against my skin instantly erased any thoughts of Sakura I had at that moment. She playfully nipped my ear and planted a kiss on my neck. It felt warm, like fond memories of simpler days. She managed to coax a small smile out of me. My hand she took in hers and led me to a more deserted area, sometimes dashing as fast as we could and sometimes strolling leisurely. The grass was thick and healthy, happy to cushion us as we collapsed on the ground. Various bright flowers dotted the hillside we lied on. The wind was gentle.
I managed to speak once my ragged gasps returned to a semi-regular breath, "You were gone for so long, I thought you-"
A finger she placed against my lips, preventing me from speaking as well as any stern teacher's command could. "I said I would come back for you, Tomoyo-chan. So I did. You don't seem too happy about it, though." She smiled impishly, "Let's see if I can't change that."
She drew closer, kissing me. I drank her in like a person stranded in the Sahara drinks from an oasis. Each detail of her I forgot came back to me. The way a lock of hair falls in her face and how she tucks it back with her left hand. The way her head tilts to the side sometimes when I talk to her and her lips spread into a quiet grin. The fact that she only drinks tomato juice when traveling. Her voice as she says, "I'm not a rabbit," while frowning slightly and pushing aside a plate filled with salad. How she always makes sure that when we walk side by side, I'm not the one next to the road.
We broke apart. I was absolutely ecstatic. She always was good at cheering me up when I became sad. A smile tugged at the corners of my lips, and Kozue smirked back, almost smug. "You know me too well," I half-complained, half-teased.
"I wouldn't be your girlfriend if I didn't," said she, a finger toying with a strand of my hair. That one word flowed so easily over her tongue that one could not help but overlook it as regular talk. Suddenly she stood and glanced at her watch. "Gomen nasei, Tomoyo-chan. I have to go…" she said, extending a hand, her face a perfect mask of regret, "…Buy you an ice cream cone. Come on. Today you have me all to yourself."
I took her hand and she helped me up. We strode out giggling and joking as if she never left and I never kissed Sakura.
~~~~
I am shallow and hollow. Transparent. That is all I appear to be to others. Always happy, always cheerful and full of energy even in the face of the most difficult challenges. This image, this label, has attached itself to me for most of my life. There is nowhere I can run, nowhere I can hide where it won't follow. I suspect even in death it would more than willingly tag along. What I did to deserve the half-respect of my peers remains a mystery to me, though my magic is the most powerful in the world. I smile so I don't cry, I laugh so I don't scream, I am unaware so I don't go insane. I have seen horrors that are worth a thousand nights of screaming nightmares, and more. I have stroked death and heard it purr in response. I have known of nirvanas far greater than any heaven the human mind could imagine, much less handle being in. I have been in hells that pale Cocytus in comparison. And yet, nothing could hurt me more than seeing that kiss.
The wind stung my eyes as I strained to watch them. Hot tears streamed down my face, and I couldn't tell if they were from the gust or Tomoyo. It felt like someone took a poker straight out of a fireplace and raked it across my cheeks. My grip around the staff tightened, my knuckles turning bone white. I lashed out at a nearby cloud, slicing it in half neatly. When I looked towards the ground again and regained my focus, I saw the two of them sharing an ice cream cone, both apparently without a care in the world.
I can't believe her. She didn't tell me anything about this boy. Curses tainted the air about me. My fury boiled until I could no long stand it, the wings on my back beating furiously as I flew in angry scribbles. Unknowingly, someway or another, I began to dive. A trail of feathers followed behind me as my wings began to slowly disintegrate. The King Penguin slide blurred past. I was just above the street leading towards my house. Li was walking towards me, shoulders slumped and head looking downward. With the last bit of magic I had I decelerated. Finally I dropped a few feet above the ground, easily sliding into an all-out sprint. He was something familiar, some anchor I could hold onto in my state of chaos. My arms wrapped about him in a desperate hug, a distressed embrace. I sobbed freely into his shirt. He was the only comfort I had.
My legs gave way, the stress of magic and intense emotions taking their toll. Li had to carry me to the house. I remember the sky spinning and twisting, then darkness. When I awoke I found myself lying on the couch, head throbbing and dried tears on my face. I sat up slowly and moved aside the thin blanket that covered me. The familiar smell of tea led my eyes to a small cup of it lying on the coffee table, waiting to be drunken. My shaky hands picked it up, barely able to keep the hot liquid from spilling, and I brought it up to my mouth. It felt good sliding down my throat, just a hair away from scalding temperature. I sighed and placed the empty cup back on the table with a soft clink.
Li then entered the room, a small box of Pocky in hand. I smiled slightly. He took this as a sign to toss the snack over to me. I caught it, fumbling a bit, and slowly tore it open. The sweet taste of chocolate Pocky was welcome. I nodded to him in thanks. He walked over and sat next to me, waiting for the right moment to ask the question.
~~~~
She was so close, so near I could reach out and touch her. But I never will. I could've tried as hard as I could to get her to notice me as more than a friend, but she still wouldn't know. I once gave her a box of chocolates and a letter on White Day. Her face lit up when she read the letter. My heart fluttered. She threw her arms around me and said she loved me too. But I knew she didn't. At least, not the way I loved her. Even though she causes so much pain, it's not her fault. She's just a little air-headed and oblivious to everything.
She was so close, so near I could reach out and touch her. But I shouldn't. I've already given everything she asked for. And she asked for a friend. Not a boyfriend. Just a friend to help her along when she needed it. So I did my duty, coming when she called, bandaging when she was hurt. I was a crutch for her to walk on if she couldn't walk herself. After that I would be put aside until my turn came around again. I was fine with that. Anything to make sure she's happy and healthy. Even if it doesn't include me.
She was so close, so near I could reach out and touch her. But I wouldn't. I saw her and Tomoyo together. They looked like the perfect couple, what with Tomoyo's sensibility and Sakura's spontaneous-ness. Opposites do attract, after all. She deserves to be with Sakura. I can't help but be a bit jealous, though. I will be content to have known the great Clow Mistress as an ally.
But… What if I have regrets? Thirty years from now, as a graying man, I could be sighing and stroking a picture of her, wishing that I had only taken the chance.
Her head came to rest on my chest.
This is now a war between Tomoyo and I, with Sakura as the prize.
My arm slipped around her shoulders.
"What happened?" I asked quietly.
And all's fair in love and war.
A/N: GomenGomenGomen! I'm sorry about the lateness. I had way too much stuff going on. I don't think next week will be any better. A whole bunch of dates have snuck up on me. On top of that, Al Roker-sized writer's block fell on my head. I think the gods are punishing me for something.
'Nother A/N: Oh, yeah. Cocytus is the Ninth Circle of Hell. You know, the thing with the Dante's Inferno-mabob. Bah. Just Google it. And, I have problems coming up with a good summary for this story.
Last A/N, I swear: Not to be whiny or anything, but I there are also some personal problems. That's why some of this is darker than usual. E-mail any concerns, opinions, flames, summaries, bombs, or cookies.
I lied: The funky ~ signs mean the point of view changes. And on the subject of reviews: I like reviews, but I'm not a person who goes, "j00 \/\/1|_|_ |23\/31\/\/ 0|2 |\|0 [V]0|23 570|2Y!!!!!111" Review if you want. But, I might write faster if people encourage me.
Coming up next: Confrontations? Hell, even I don't know what's coming next.
