Chapter Four
"Watsamatter?" He stammered, his face still sleepy and his eyes weren't focused which is probably why he didn't notice Snape right away. "I think you know perfectly well 'watsamatter', Mr. Malfoy," Snape said coldly, glaring at me, then at Draco. "Professor!" he said, suddenly snapping full awake but not looking at his surroundings. "I haven't finished that essay yet! Can I hand it in tomorrow?" "Yes, you can. Tomorrow is the only day this week you have my class," Snape said smoothly, still glaring at me but speaking to Draco, who had clearly forgotten I was there. "That's detention, I think. You not only slept – together – on the stairs, but that clearly means that you were up after hours. Your detention is to be served with me tonight. My dungeon at 8:30 pm," he continued, brushing past us and walking up the steps in the direction of the library. "Detention?" Draco repeated, still looking mildly confused. "Yeah. I guess we fell asleep," I replied, getting to my feet and helping Draco do the same. Draco nodded his goodbye and yawned again before stumbling down the stairs, obviously still tired and going back to bed. I got up and headed for Gryffindor Tower, thinking vaguely of a hot shower and clean clothes. I walked blindly through the corridors and nearly banged into the portrait of the fat lady who shouted at me to watch where I was walking. I gave her the password and stepped inside the Common Room. The fire was out and the room was void of all life save for Crookshanks asleep in a chair in front of the non-existent fire. I yawned and stretched my arms over my head, then started the stairs up the boy's dormitories. I pushed the door open and immediately saw Ron sitting at the foot of my bed, a dark scowl on his face. "Where have you been?" "Just... Out...." I said, lying in the middle of a loud yawn. "Well, you worry people when they wake up in the middle of the night to find you gone with no note or anything!" Ron said in a tone so reminiscent of his mother I couldn't help but laugh a little. I laughed even louder when his ears went a funny shade of reddish-purple and his cheeks followed suit. "What in the name of Merlin is so funny?" Ron snapped, his ears returning to almost their normal color. "I was.... Asleep," I said simply, walking across the carpet to my trunk from which I removed a clean change of clothes. "You - you're wearing the same clothes you were yesterday," Ron said accusingly. "Yeah.... I guess I am...." "Care to tell me... Why?" "I fell asleep in the common room in front of the fire. Dobby woke me up when he was cleaning," I lied, digging around for my comb. "You didn't. I've been down to the common room four times and you weren't there," Ron yelled, causing Neville to stir. Thankfully he didn't wake up. "Ok, I'll tell you where I was, if you promise to not start shouting and wake everyone up," I said hastily, giving him a silencing look.
All right, I promise," Ron said, but his face was unconvincing.
For a moment I actually considered telling him about how I had spent the night asleep with Draco, but no, I decided, I knew he wouldn't take it well.
"I went for a walk and I feel asleep in the Entrance Hall. Snape woke me up a few minutes ago and gave me detention," I said, lying again. I didn't like lying to Ron, but he just wouldn't understand this.
"Oh..."
"I'm going to go shower before I go back to bed..." I said and Ron nodded.
I threw my cloak on my bed and gathered up my clothes, then headed for the washroom. Once inside, I shut and locked the door behind me. I put my clothes on the countertop and started to undress. First kicking my shoes off, then my socks, then undoing my belt and letting my jeans fall, soon followed by the rest of my clothing. The cold in the room made me shiver and I reached over and turned the shower on. When the water was as warm as I could stand, I stepped inside and winced. The hot water in contrast to the cold air burned.
I let the water wash over me... Soothe me... Relax me. I needed it. But the moment I relaxed myself enough to lean against the wall of the shower and close my eyes, Draco drifted across my mind again.
I had never had a homosexual thought or urge in my entire seventeen years, but here I was, wanting, needing to be as near to Draco as I had been earlier.
I opened my eyes and stared blankly at the crimson red wall, the Gryffindor emblem inscribed on it.
I turned my back on the fall of the water and let it cascade down my back. I leaned my head back and allowed the water though my hair, guided by my fingers.
I wonder what Draco's fingers would feel like...
I shook that thought off immediately. I didn't want to think of Draco Malfoy like this. He was someone I had sworn to hate the moment I met him, and here I was, lusting after him like a silly schoolgirl.
Ahh... But you were only eleven when you swore that to yourself...
Came that impossible voice in the back of my mind that always managed to ruin any chance I had a conscious thought.
I turned around to face the hot cascade of water again, reaching down to turn it off. I opened the door of the shower partially to allow my arm out to feel around for a towel. The steam that was clouding the air didn't make this easy, but I managed.
I dried my face and my arms, then over my torso before I wrapped the towel around my waist and stepped out of the shower, again greeted by colder air that made me shiver involuntarily. I finished drying and dropped the towel to the floor and began to dress again, silk boxers feeling wonderful against my bare skin.
I dressed in silence and willing myself not to think. All my thoughts seemed to turn to Draco, and I didn't want that. I couldn't possibly...
I picked my shoes, socks and towel up off the floor and walked back into the dormitory where Ron and the others still slept soundly.
Getting into my own bed, surrounded by the warmth that was the blankets and the memories of Draco's warm body I fell asleep almost immediately, and perhaps why I dreamed what I did...
"I love you, Harry..." "I know," I whispered, pulling him close to me and kissing his forehead. I let my hands rub over his back and his head rest on me. How warm his breath was against my skin... How gentle his touch was... I never wanted this contact to end, I needed it to last... To never move...
"Harry, wake up," Ron said in my ear, shaking my arm perhaps harder than usual. "I already let you sleep through breakfast, now get up. We've got Divination in twenty minutes."
"Hmm?" I gurgled sleepily, barely having heard him.
"Get up. Class," he repeated.
I got up slowly, my feet finding the floor and I nearly fell sideways. I was still drowsy and not able to stand very well. It took me a moment to find my robes and clothes that I would be wearing that day, but when I did I looked at Ron.
"What?" He asked me.
"Can you go while I get changed?"
"Harry, you've never cared before..." Ron said uncertainly, looking at me as though I'd gone mad.
"Yes... Well, I care now," I said lamely, my eyes averting from his.
"Fine," he said and swept from the room.
I didn't mean to make Ron feel like I didn't want him around, but I suddenly felt very strange about who saw me dress or undress...
~*~
"This is, as you know, your N.E.W.T year. We will be going over basic principals of Seeing again, just as we did in your O.W.L. year, starting again, with the Dream Oracle," Professor Trelawney said, her voice just as misty as it ever was. "With only this week left before the Christmas holiday, I am going to assign you the Dream journal again, and have you interpret them. You may start now with any dreams you may have had last night."
"Malfoy..." I whispered, my breath catching.
I had suddenly remembered the dream I had that morning and the kisses and how warm he had been...
"What?" Ron's voice interrupted my thoughts of Draco and dragged me back into the real world. "Why did you just whisper 'Malfoy'?"
"Erm, just a dream I had last night Ron," I said, for once, being completely truthful.
"About Malfoy?" Ron asked me, plainly confused.
"Yeah, just your standard nightmare about the graveyard... Only it was Draco and not Voldemort..." I said, a pang of guilt coursing though me.
"Oh, are you all right then?"
"Yeah, I'm fine now."
I had never been happier to hear the bell to signal the end of class, and even better, it was the only class I had before lunch.
I think I'll go back up to the dormitory, Ron. Tell Hermione for me, will you?" I said, climbing through the portrait hole behind Ron and heading directly for the stairs.
With the intent on sending a note to Draco, asking him to meet me in the Astronomy Tower an hour before we had to serve our detention, I pulled a spare piece of parchment out of the pocket of my cloak. I slowly unfolded it and set it on my bed, then started looking around for a quill and some ink.
I finally located some in my bag, scowling slightly at the fact that the quill was bent a little at the top, but still useable. I picked up a heavy book to write on and then set the parchment down on it, but wait –
IDecember 16, 1997, Wednesday
I haven't had any word from my father since he was taken to Azkaban, after the fall of Voldemort, I haven't heard from anyone I used to know anymore. All my family have either been arrested or killed save for my mother who is home at the Manor. What she's doing there all alone escapes me. I'd have run away if it were I./I
I stopped, completely dumbfounded. Words, written by Draco Malfoy by the look of the content and penmanship, were appearing on the parchment.
IYes, it is entirely Harry Potter's fault that my father is back in Azkaban, but this time I don't care. Yes, I miss him, but he never was a wonderful father figure. He was never home and when he was he wasn't the most pleasant person to be around. Always swearing and angry and secretive. I remember how he used to be when he'd come home from work when I was a child, he seemed happy to see me then, like I wasn't the disappointment he now referred to me as. Why mother has put up with him for twenty-three years is completely beyond me. I assume it was an arranged marriage.
Lord Voldemort was a very frightening man. I only met him once... He has eyes that seem to look through you rather than at you and a voice that makes your eardrums just want to crack. I met him when my father took me to meet the man that, according to him, would one day be my Lord and Master. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that they didn't brand the Mark on me right then and there, but were going to wait until I turned 18. 18, which I will be on the twenty-fifth of July./I
"Wow..." I whispered to myself as the words continued to form. It was quite shocking for a piece of parchment to suddenly start showing me diary entries. Not to mention the fact that the last time something of this nature happened, it had been Voldemort in disguise. I never knew that Draco's birthday was just six days before mine...
IIronic, perhaps, that my sworn enemy and me are born under the same sign and just six days apart. Yes, Harry Potter. Speaking of the Golden Boy, I had a lovely little chat with him this morning. I asked him what it was like to be him. Wondered what it was like to have the weight of the Magical and Muggle worlds on my shoulders. Until recently, I hated Potter, but now... It's different. I want to know him, really know him. I offered him friendship once and he all but spat in my face. But with the Voldemort era behind us all, I think that he might actually be beginning to accept me. He doesn't insult me or turn me away anymore, that's definitely a big change. I find myself thinking about him more and more lately, taking notice of how his hair always seems to fall in the right place or how the moon seems to create a glowing aura around him. Why, I do not know, but it confuses and scares me to the core of my very being. I need to go now, I am meeting Potter in an hour.../I
I sat dead quiet for several moments, just staring and re-reading over the parchment.
"Watsamatter?" He stammered, his face still sleepy and his eyes weren't focused which is probably why he didn't notice Snape right away. "I think you know perfectly well 'watsamatter', Mr. Malfoy," Snape said coldly, glaring at me, then at Draco. "Professor!" he said, suddenly snapping full awake but not looking at his surroundings. "I haven't finished that essay yet! Can I hand it in tomorrow?" "Yes, you can. Tomorrow is the only day this week you have my class," Snape said smoothly, still glaring at me but speaking to Draco, who had clearly forgotten I was there. "That's detention, I think. You not only slept – together – on the stairs, but that clearly means that you were up after hours. Your detention is to be served with me tonight. My dungeon at 8:30 pm," he continued, brushing past us and walking up the steps in the direction of the library. "Detention?" Draco repeated, still looking mildly confused. "Yeah. I guess we fell asleep," I replied, getting to my feet and helping Draco do the same. Draco nodded his goodbye and yawned again before stumbling down the stairs, obviously still tired and going back to bed. I got up and headed for Gryffindor Tower, thinking vaguely of a hot shower and clean clothes. I walked blindly through the corridors and nearly banged into the portrait of the fat lady who shouted at me to watch where I was walking. I gave her the password and stepped inside the Common Room. The fire was out and the room was void of all life save for Crookshanks asleep in a chair in front of the non-existent fire. I yawned and stretched my arms over my head, then started the stairs up the boy's dormitories. I pushed the door open and immediately saw Ron sitting at the foot of my bed, a dark scowl on his face. "Where have you been?" "Just... Out...." I said, lying in the middle of a loud yawn. "Well, you worry people when they wake up in the middle of the night to find you gone with no note or anything!" Ron said in a tone so reminiscent of his mother I couldn't help but laugh a little. I laughed even louder when his ears went a funny shade of reddish-purple and his cheeks followed suit. "What in the name of Merlin is so funny?" Ron snapped, his ears returning to almost their normal color. "I was.... Asleep," I said simply, walking across the carpet to my trunk from which I removed a clean change of clothes. "You - you're wearing the same clothes you were yesterday," Ron said accusingly. "Yeah.... I guess I am...." "Care to tell me... Why?" "I fell asleep in the common room in front of the fire. Dobby woke me up when he was cleaning," I lied, digging around for my comb. "You didn't. I've been down to the common room four times and you weren't there," Ron yelled, causing Neville to stir. Thankfully he didn't wake up. "Ok, I'll tell you where I was, if you promise to not start shouting and wake everyone up," I said hastily, giving him a silencing look.
All right, I promise," Ron said, but his face was unconvincing.
For a moment I actually considered telling him about how I had spent the night asleep with Draco, but no, I decided, I knew he wouldn't take it well.
"I went for a walk and I feel asleep in the Entrance Hall. Snape woke me up a few minutes ago and gave me detention," I said, lying again. I didn't like lying to Ron, but he just wouldn't understand this.
"Oh..."
"I'm going to go shower before I go back to bed..." I said and Ron nodded.
I threw my cloak on my bed and gathered up my clothes, then headed for the washroom. Once inside, I shut and locked the door behind me. I put my clothes on the countertop and started to undress. First kicking my shoes off, then my socks, then undoing my belt and letting my jeans fall, soon followed by the rest of my clothing. The cold in the room made me shiver and I reached over and turned the shower on. When the water was as warm as I could stand, I stepped inside and winced. The hot water in contrast to the cold air burned.
I let the water wash over me... Soothe me... Relax me. I needed it. But the moment I relaxed myself enough to lean against the wall of the shower and close my eyes, Draco drifted across my mind again.
I had never had a homosexual thought or urge in my entire seventeen years, but here I was, wanting, needing to be as near to Draco as I had been earlier.
I opened my eyes and stared blankly at the crimson red wall, the Gryffindor emblem inscribed on it.
I turned my back on the fall of the water and let it cascade down my back. I leaned my head back and allowed the water though my hair, guided by my fingers.
I wonder what Draco's fingers would feel like...
I shook that thought off immediately. I didn't want to think of Draco Malfoy like this. He was someone I had sworn to hate the moment I met him, and here I was, lusting after him like a silly schoolgirl.
Ahh... But you were only eleven when you swore that to yourself...
Came that impossible voice in the back of my mind that always managed to ruin any chance I had a conscious thought.
I turned around to face the hot cascade of water again, reaching down to turn it off. I opened the door of the shower partially to allow my arm out to feel around for a towel. The steam that was clouding the air didn't make this easy, but I managed.
I dried my face and my arms, then over my torso before I wrapped the towel around my waist and stepped out of the shower, again greeted by colder air that made me shiver involuntarily. I finished drying and dropped the towel to the floor and began to dress again, silk boxers feeling wonderful against my bare skin.
I dressed in silence and willing myself not to think. All my thoughts seemed to turn to Draco, and I didn't want that. I couldn't possibly...
I picked my shoes, socks and towel up off the floor and walked back into the dormitory where Ron and the others still slept soundly.
Getting into my own bed, surrounded by the warmth that was the blankets and the memories of Draco's warm body I fell asleep almost immediately, and perhaps why I dreamed what I did...
"I love you, Harry..." "I know," I whispered, pulling him close to me and kissing his forehead. I let my hands rub over his back and his head rest on me. How warm his breath was against my skin... How gentle his touch was... I never wanted this contact to end, I needed it to last... To never move...
"Harry, wake up," Ron said in my ear, shaking my arm perhaps harder than usual. "I already let you sleep through breakfast, now get up. We've got Divination in twenty minutes."
"Hmm?" I gurgled sleepily, barely having heard him.
"Get up. Class," he repeated.
I got up slowly, my feet finding the floor and I nearly fell sideways. I was still drowsy and not able to stand very well. It took me a moment to find my robes and clothes that I would be wearing that day, but when I did I looked at Ron.
"What?" He asked me.
"Can you go while I get changed?"
"Harry, you've never cared before..." Ron said uncertainly, looking at me as though I'd gone mad.
"Yes... Well, I care now," I said lamely, my eyes averting from his.
"Fine," he said and swept from the room.
I didn't mean to make Ron feel like I didn't want him around, but I suddenly felt very strange about who saw me dress or undress...
~*~
"This is, as you know, your N.E.W.T year. We will be going over basic principals of Seeing again, just as we did in your O.W.L. year, starting again, with the Dream Oracle," Professor Trelawney said, her voice just as misty as it ever was. "With only this week left before the Christmas holiday, I am going to assign you the Dream journal again, and have you interpret them. You may start now with any dreams you may have had last night."
"Malfoy..." I whispered, my breath catching.
I had suddenly remembered the dream I had that morning and the kisses and how warm he had been...
"What?" Ron's voice interrupted my thoughts of Draco and dragged me back into the real world. "Why did you just whisper 'Malfoy'?"
"Erm, just a dream I had last night Ron," I said, for once, being completely truthful.
"About Malfoy?" Ron asked me, plainly confused.
"Yeah, just your standard nightmare about the graveyard... Only it was Draco and not Voldemort..." I said, a pang of guilt coursing though me.
"Oh, are you all right then?"
"Yeah, I'm fine now."
I had never been happier to hear the bell to signal the end of class, and even better, it was the only class I had before lunch.
I think I'll go back up to the dormitory, Ron. Tell Hermione for me, will you?" I said, climbing through the portrait hole behind Ron and heading directly for the stairs.
With the intent on sending a note to Draco, asking him to meet me in the Astronomy Tower an hour before we had to serve our detention, I pulled a spare piece of parchment out of the pocket of my cloak. I slowly unfolded it and set it on my bed, then started looking around for a quill and some ink.
I finally located some in my bag, scowling slightly at the fact that the quill was bent a little at the top, but still useable. I picked up a heavy book to write on and then set the parchment down on it, but wait –
IDecember 16, 1997, Wednesday
I haven't had any word from my father since he was taken to Azkaban, after the fall of Voldemort, I haven't heard from anyone I used to know anymore. All my family have either been arrested or killed save for my mother who is home at the Manor. What she's doing there all alone escapes me. I'd have run away if it were I./I
I stopped, completely dumbfounded. Words, written by Draco Malfoy by the look of the content and penmanship, were appearing on the parchment.
IYes, it is entirely Harry Potter's fault that my father is back in Azkaban, but this time I don't care. Yes, I miss him, but he never was a wonderful father figure. He was never home and when he was he wasn't the most pleasant person to be around. Always swearing and angry and secretive. I remember how he used to be when he'd come home from work when I was a child, he seemed happy to see me then, like I wasn't the disappointment he now referred to me as. Why mother has put up with him for twenty-three years is completely beyond me. I assume it was an arranged marriage.
Lord Voldemort was a very frightening man. I only met him once... He has eyes that seem to look through you rather than at you and a voice that makes your eardrums just want to crack. I met him when my father took me to meet the man that, according to him, would one day be my Lord and Master. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that they didn't brand the Mark on me right then and there, but were going to wait until I turned 18. 18, which I will be on the twenty-fifth of July./I
"Wow..." I whispered to myself as the words continued to form. It was quite shocking for a piece of parchment to suddenly start showing me diary entries. Not to mention the fact that the last time something of this nature happened, it had been Voldemort in disguise. I never knew that Draco's birthday was just six days before mine...
IIronic, perhaps, that my sworn enemy and me are born under the same sign and just six days apart. Yes, Harry Potter. Speaking of the Golden Boy, I had a lovely little chat with him this morning. I asked him what it was like to be him. Wondered what it was like to have the weight of the Magical and Muggle worlds on my shoulders. Until recently, I hated Potter, but now... It's different. I want to know him, really know him. I offered him friendship once and he all but spat in my face. But with the Voldemort era behind us all, I think that he might actually be beginning to accept me. He doesn't insult me or turn me away anymore, that's definitely a big change. I find myself thinking about him more and more lately, taking notice of how his hair always seems to fall in the right place or how the moon seems to create a glowing aura around him. Why, I do not know, but it confuses and scares me to the core of my very being. I need to go now, I am meeting Potter in an hour.../I
I sat dead quiet for several moments, just staring and re-reading over the parchment.
