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I don't know, but if you come here often, you must hear it a lot. Like now, for instance.
Slayers: The Starbird Chronicles
Chapter 6: The Next Day, on the Road North from Kale
It was the fourth bandit ambush that day. Starbird Sighed. They had left town early that morning, but in spite of the early hour, the first attack had occurred only a mile outside town gates. It had, fortunately, provided an opportunity for Starbird to get an idea of Naga's basic aptitude for spell control; he had convinced her to use Freeze Rain rather than Freeze Arrow, though she had claimed it was a waste of a good spell. After dispatching the orb with a Flare Lance and undoing the (extensive) excess damage, Starbird had walked with Naga for a while, giving her some pointers on the fine control of spell effects.
After the experience of being frozen solid, however briefly, Lina strongly resisted allowing Naga to handle the next bunch as well, but she eventually allowed it. Naga, using some of the pointers Starbird had given her, actually managed to make the spell hit only the bandits. It still required an outside force (this time, Lina's Heat Fang) to stop it, but, hey, no one's perfect.
The third encounter had, at the very least, helped alleviate some of the leftover tension between Starbird and Lina. A group of bandits of above-ordinary skill had attacked them shortly after lunch, and managed to pin both Starbird and Lina down. While the rest of the bandits ran off following Naga, Lina and Starbird struggled until Lina used a Bram Fang (which requires no physical motion) to distract the pair of bandits holding Starbird, who in turn blinded all four foes with an incredibly bright flash of Lighting. They staggered around rubbing their eyes for long enough for their would-be victims to get out of the way, and for Lina to Mega Brand them all into the Stratosphere. They felt a lot better towards each other after the experience; after all, it's a proven fact that two people saving each other will promote bonding. It is upon this principle that a lot of team-building activities are based.
It is perhaps worth mentioning that in the process of regrouping from that third attack, Lina and Starbird had found Naga with the other three bandits, who were completely incased in Ice. This earned Naga some rare praise from Lina: "Wow, Naga. You're making some real progress." Naga, of course, replied with her usual laugh, and probably a comment about Lina being a "pathetic lackey," though Lina wasn't too sure, since she was covering her ears at the time.
And now, another band of robbers. Starbird sighed again, and shook his head.
"What you sighing at, Pretty Boy?" The apparent leader of the bandits, a large, tanned man with a bushy red beard and a ridiculous floppy blue hat spoke in a gruff voice.
"You're the fourth bunch today. I'm getting sick of it."
"Yeah? Well none of the others were as tough as we are!"
"I'm sure. Um, who are you again?" He had a vague memory of the hairy-faced bandit speaking- well, talking, anyway- during his reminiscence.
"Weren't you listening? We're Keller's Hammer!" the big man posed to make the black hammer design on the back of his vest more visible. "The Elite Warriors of the Great Wizard Keller!"
"Okay, one, no, I wasn't listening, and two, how great can this Keller be if he doesn't have a color?"
"And I suppose you do, Pretty Boy?"
"Oh, I don't, but if you'll direct your attention behind me," he stepped aside to reveal Lina deep in concentration, hands together, chanting and glowing with a faint red aura, "I'll introduce you to my traveling companion, Lina the Pink!"
"Lina the Pink? Lina," he sized the girl up physically, "as in Lina Inverse? Lina the Bandit Killer?"
"Yup."
"RUN AWAY!" The bandits began to follow their leader's orders, but the ground beneath them was already glowing. None of them made it more than a step or two before the fiery sorceress in question finished her spell.
"DIGU BRAND!" the ground within the glowing circle erupted in a fiery blast of rising earth, first scorching the band and then blasting them sky high. Naga, whom Lina had told to let her handle this bunch, watched them go, before turning an anticipatory gaze and evil smile on Starbird and Lina. This should be good...
"It's almost a pity we had to blow them up. They actually had a decent name," Starbird said. Lina replied with a Bomb Sprid to his head.
"No one," she continued, pulling him into a headlock, "and I mean no one, mentions that title around me. Ever. On pain of Death. Got it?"
"Got it," he croaked, coughing ash and trying to breathe.
"Good." She let him go with a soft smack to the head.
"Hey," he continued, wiping his face on his cape and trying to straighten his frazzled hair, "What was that spell you used on them? Earth- and Fire-Shamanism, right? A variant of Dill Brand?"
"Yeah," Lina replied, setting off again, "I picked it up in the Sorceror's Guild in Ralteague, where I learned Flare Barrage, and I'd been meaning to try it out."
"I've never seen anything quite like it before." Starbird got his hair in order, and started to follow.
"Really? I'm surprised."
"Lina! How unfair is that!" The other two turned around to see Naga starting after them, wearing a hurt face.
"What's unfair, now?" Asked Lina, puzzled.
"If I'd done that, you would've used a Fireball, at the very least! You probably would've hit me with the same spell you used on the bandits!"
"Yeah, well, He," she jerked her thumb at Starbird, "is the one who knows where we're going and what we're doing. You're a lot more expendable."
"That was a little harsh," said the slightly scorched young man, still fiddling with his forelocks.
"Naga tends to miss subtle things. Like a Dragu Slave, for example. Now, as I was saying, I'm surprised you haven't seen that spell before..." With that, the two Sorcery Geniuses walked off, talking shop, and left the one exceedingly miffed Sorcery Idiot Savant to follow behind.
"...So the guy was totally obsessed with creating this 'Holy Hand Grenade' thing, and he kept trying different spells to make it work, but they never did, so he ended up with a whole bunch of rejected original spells and never even thought of registering them until we suggested it. Also, there's an ambush in this clearing."
Starbird nodded, he had sensed it as well. The sun was starting to set, making it nearly the perfect time for an ambush, and the aura of hostility in the area was palpable. "We might as well call them out."
"Yeah. Hey, Whoever's out there! We know you're here, so come on out already!"
"Very well. You are clever. Not that it will do you any good." A wizard in plain, grey and brown robes stepped into the clearing... and was followed by a group of eight juvenile Blue and Black Dragons, which rose up out of the forest at the edge of the clearing. "You may have beaten all my men, but my power far exceeds theirs!"
"Oh, please." The flame-haired sorceress spoke up. "You're Keller, right? You've got that Hammer design on your robes. You can't be that tough, or you wouldn't need dragons to do your dirty work." she only half paid attention to his response as she muttered to Starbird. "This isn't good. They're so spread out that even with a Dragu Slave I couldn't guarantee killing them all, and if even one's left, it could blast us in the time it takes to charge up another one."
"And getting rid of Keller would just release them to go berserk, right?"
"Probably. It's likely enough that it's not worth the risk."
"I think I can handle it. Where's Naga?"
"Last time I checked, we were gaining a foot every minute, and that was about three hours ago..."
"Okay. You distract him." Starbird fell back slightly, raised a shield, and began chanting.
"Right. Hey, Keller! Is that the only trick you know?" she shouted at the man across the way.
"Thou dark beyond the twilight skies,
The shade of crimson blood..."
"It's Enough! Dragons! Attack!" Two of the nearest dragons spit red flame at Lina, who jumped out of the way.
"Thy power hid from mortal eyes
In time's onrushing flood..."
I hope he knows what he's doing, thought Lina, as she dodged another bolt of flame. I told him a Dragu Slave wouldn't work...
"I make my soul a gift to thee,
In darkness find rebirth..."
"Foolish girl! I spent a fortune on those men! This is what you get for ruining my investment!"
"And in return grant thou to me
The strength to rend the earth..."
"You should have hired better men!" What the hell is that idiot doing?
"These fools who would see my fall
Are nothing, to be less..."
"Lina, darling... what's going on?"
"I would have thought you'd seen it enough, Naga. We need to get out of the way. Now!" Lina, with a quick Raywing spell, grabbed Naga and flew back a ways behind Starbird, who had retreated all the way to the edge of the clearing, and was now floating, shieldless, some dozen feet off the ground. The flame breath followed Lina and Naga all the way back before diverting to Starbird; Lina cast Balus Wall to protect him just in time.
"For thou and I shall crush them all
By power we possess!"
From where she now stood, Lina had a clear view of the magician to whom she had entrusted this task. He held his right arm, elbow cocked, at his side, the closed fist radiating dark red light. His whole body was in a stance that would have been designed to absorb recoil from that hand, had he stood on the ground rather than floating. Suddenly, he grabbed his right wrist with his other hand and thrust them both forward, opening the closed hand in the process.
"Monster Killer! SHOTGUN DRAGU SLAVE!!"
Eight beams of red light shot out from his extended hand, all at different angles, each one heading for a dragon. Each beam produced an explosion on contact, the crimson brilliance washing away the outlines and then the forms of the dragons within. However, the explosions didn't grow very large, and one could clearly see the form of Keller, intact, against the glare, half-being blown and half-flying away. When the light finally died, there were eight shallow fifty-foot craters around the perimeter of the clearing, and nothing else.
"And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why getting in my way can be hazardous to your health. Thank you." With that, the mage's spent, unconscious body tumbled out of the sky, and was only saved a hard collision with the ground by the intervention of a grateful, redheaded agency.
Starbird woke just as the sky was getting dark enough for the stars to be seen, with a severe headache. "Someone remind me to never cast that spell without a talisman ever again."
"Sure. Why didn't you use talismans this time?" Lina was using a long stick to poke at the fire she'd made.
"The ones I brought aren't exactly friendly to that
sort of magic. Besides, Keller would've noticed quicker." He tried to it
up, winced, and settled for supporting himself on his arms.
"Oh. Can you teach me how to cast it?" she
glanced in his direction, across the fire, to see if he was okay. And to grab
all the details of his response, but hey, enlightened self-interest is better
than not caring at all.
"I don't think so. I'm not really sure myself.
Just... think about the beams being focused differently... It's hard to
explain. Hey, it's Night." He got the rest of the way up and walked, a
little shakily, to the edge of the crater in which the girls had set up camp.
There, he pulled out his sword and started dragging the tip through the earth
around the perimeter, muttering to himself.
"Hey, you shouldn't be up yet! You're walking like a drunkard!" there was actually a note of genuine concern in the fiery girl's voice as she spoke, standing from her position by the fire. She nearly tripped over Naga, already in her sleeping bag (another one of the supplies Starbird had insisted on buying, this time for protection against the cold in the north, though these were comfortable in temperate climates as well); but he motioned her back down.
"This way, we don't have to stand watch. It's a guardian spell, like the one at the Inn.
"Oh." She watched him finish the circle, then peer
out into the night before returning to the sleeping bags. He got in his, not
bothering with his forest-green pajamas, and was settling down when Lina asked
him, "What was that about? That looking in the woods?"
"Oh, I thought I saw something moving, but it was
probably just some animal. G'night."
" 'Night." And thus ended
another day.
Author's Note: And thus ends another chapter. I'd like to thank MossyGirl again; it's nice to know someone is reading these. And I'm a pretty big Wrede fan myself, especially of the Enchanted Forest Chronicles. Not only are the chapter titles done in that style, I've got a character or four based on the idea of Fire-Witches, and I'm still trying to think of a way to work in something like the Frying Pan of Doom (From the short story "Utensile Strength" in "Book of Enchantments"). Sadly, I'm not really past my Block; I'm just burning buffer.
To anyone else out there, if any of that made no sense at all, look at the reviews of the story. Then, after learning what I'm talking about, notice how few there are. Leave one as a token of your pity. Please?
1) For the record, I don't own the Holy Hand Grenade any more than I own Slayers, and if you don't know who does, shame on you. I would have put this in the Disclaimer, but it would have upset the Zen-Koanish tone.
2) I realize it's out of character for Naga to be able to control her magic, but recall that Sylphiel was able to blow open walls with Flare Arrow - for a whole half an episode in the first season. Then it's back to carrots.
3) Starbird casts his spells a little bit oddly, as you might have noticed. He frequently adds an additional phrase, in the common tongue, between the incantation (in Chaos Words) and the name of the spell (The Words of Power). It's different for each spell or spell family: For Dragu Slave, it's "Monster Killer." For most of the spells in the Fireball series (Including Burst Flare and Blast Bomb), it's "Explosive Burn." He only uses them when he uses the incantation, not when he's quick-casting, and sometimes not even then. The most likely function of the phrase, besides dramatics (which is probably a big part of it), is that of a Kiai in martial arts- it helps focus energy. Just in case you were wondering.
Next Chapter: The first of the crazy NPCs (Keller doesn't count, and this guy's crazier anyway).
EXTRA
Or, Stuff You Wish Was On the DVDs
The Starbird Chronicles: Spellbook
Once again, This EXTRA is a listing of all the original spells I use in the Story. Any spell not listed here can be found at either Slayers Universe or QP's Slayers page (addresses in previous chapters), some with spelling variations (Slayers Universe lists Freeze Brid as a variant spelling for Freeze Bullet). The style of these entries is still from the Slayers Universe magic resource. Without Further Ado:
Slayers Spells A to Z: The Starbird Chronicles, Chapter 4-6
Diem Breath (dimu buresu)
Category: Shamanism / Air
Note: also seems to call on Water Shamanism, but Weakly.
Causes a cool wind to circulate through a fixed area. Basically Air conditioning for any old area, even outside. At maximum power, it might numb someone's skin for an hour or so. The wind can never knock over a human unless massively boosted.
Digu Brand (digu burando)
Also known as: Digger Brand, Digu Brando, Eruption Array
Category: Shamanism / Earth
Note: Calls upon both Earth and Fire Shamanism
This spell is a version of Dill Brand modified by the addition of fire magic. The effect is about the same, causing a circle of earth to erupt skyward with enough force to take several humans with it; however, the eruption also produces a blast of flame powerful enough to seriously hurt, though probably not kill, anyone caught in the radius. Unlike Dill Brand, this spell is almost never cast with the caster at the center, as he or she would most likely be injured by the blast.
Heat Fang (hiito fangu)
Category: Shamanism / Air
Note: Calls on both Air and Fire Shamanism
Combining the power of a Fire Spirit with a form very much like Wind Brid or Bram Gush, this spell creates one arrow or several arrowheads of superheated air which burst on contact, usually causing the target to catch on fire. The arrows are nearly invisible except in mist; they appear as heat distortion in the air. This spell is not very useful against most stone, but it can make metal too hot to hold on to with a direct hit.
"Wind, Flame; Focus all thy power in my hands! HEAT FANG!!"
Shotgun Dragu Slave (shottogan doragu sureibu)
Also known as: Dragu Slave Spread Shot
Category: Black / Offensive
Note: This spell, while technically no more different from the normal Dragu Slave than any of Lina's Fireball variants are from the basic Fireball, the functional difference is such that I thought it deserved a separate entry.
The Shotgun Dragu Slave is a variant of the original spell designed to hit multiple targets. The spell is no more powerful than the normal Dragu Slave, and therefore requires no more actual energy. However, it does require vastly greater focus, and the mental energy to focus that much is beyond most people. The difference is due to the fact that in the basic spell, the vast majority of the power is bled off (read: wasted) in the collateral damage of the explosion; the beam, which does the direct damage, is significantly less than half. The Shotgun Dragu Slave, with enhanced focus, transfers all but a little of the power into direct damage and uses the power to split it into six to twelve separate beams of power nearly equal to the normal spell, each in a different direction (but all more or less forward). Very few people have the focus to cast this spell variant, and it is mentally and physically exhausting to do, especially without a talisman.
(Incantation is the same as the normal Dragu Slave)
