The next month or so was fairly uneventful, save for the stream of comments
that usually followed Draco and I wherever we went, usually Blaise Zabini
or his newly acquired cronies, Crabbe and Goyle, were to blame. Needless to
say, Draco was having some trouble adjusting to the fact that he didn't
have cronies, or many friends for that matter, anymore.
"Urgh... This is insane! I am a Malfoy, I cannot go through my entire life having to do everything for myself!" Draco said, halfway through a Transfiguration essay on Animagi.
"Draco, if you were going to do everything by the Malfoy Code Of Honor, you wouldn't have been kissing me how you were last night..." I said, grinning and touching his hand with mine.
I was very thankful that Ron wasn't there; I had a feeling kisses were soon to follow. I wasn't entirely wrong, he stood up and started rubbing my shoulders in a gentle circular pattern. He really was amazing at this, it's how he put me to sleep at night. I tipped my head back against his stomach and he trailed his hands down my chest. I squirmed when it tickled, but he didn't stop until I stood up.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed across his collar bone. It was amazing how easily he could distract me from whatever I was doing simply with the promise of kisses. I teased his neck with my tongue, not stopping until he pulled away.
He brushed his fingers though my hair and off my face, then leaning in and kissing my forehead. He stopped and looked at me after a moment, his fingers tracing over my scar.
"Do you remember it, Harry?" he whispered, his face just inches from mine.
"Remember... What?" I said, my eyes opening fully and staring into his.
"When you got this scar," he said.
"Draco, we've been over this, I can't tell you. It's too difficult..."
"You know you can trust me," he said, dropping his voice to a whisper. He pulled me closer to him and kissed my cheek.
"I know..." I said, leaning on him and letting him hold me.
"So, will you tell me? About Voldemort?" he asked, running his fingers down my spine and whispering the words in my ear.
I pulled away from him, glaring. I shouldn't get mad at him, he's curious... Who wouldn't be? I had killed the man that had been wreaking havoc in Britain and other parts of the world for decades. But I still didn't feel right telling him... I couldn't tell him. It would bring back too many memories. The very memories that had taken me over a year to suppress. Memories that would continue to haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. No... I can't tell him... Not yet... Maybe.... Someday....
"Draco, I can't... I really can't. It's not that I don't want to, but the memories of it... Are too horrible..." I said, shivering as a vision of Voldemort as he uttered his last words to me: "You will pay, Potter, you will pay..."
"Do you trust me?" he said, stepping back from me.
"Yes, of course I do!"
"Then why won't you tell me? I deserve to know what my father was in with!" he said. I could tell he was starting to get angry...
"It's painful for me to remember... You don't understand," I said, my voice failing me.
"Harry, I need to know. Don't you think I deserve to know what my Father was in with?" Draco said, a slight hint of urgency in his voice.
"Draco, no! I can't! I'm sorry..." I said. It was breaking my heart that he didn't understand enough to not press me... But how could he know better? To him it would probably just seem like some grand adventure.
"But it's my Father, and all of my family! I told you about my aunt, Bellatrix, remember? Don't I deserve to know what was going on?" Draco asked, anger mingling with desperation in his voice.
"Yes, you do... But I'm not the proper person to tell you," I whispered. I heard the anger that was now lacing itself through his words and it scared me. He hadn't said anything to me in that tone of voice since.... December, and it was February now, and the circumstances of our relationship are much different than they were....
"But I think you are the proper person... We can talk about anything... Anything except this, right? The reason why you have a hard time trusting anyone, the reason why you wake up in a cold sweat every other night because you've had a nightmare about him... We can talk about anything... But that..." Draco said in an obviously hurt voice.
"You know I'd tell if I could... It's just too much to deal with," I whispered, making a move to hug him, but he stepped away.
"You don't trust me," he said, his voice rising dangerously now.
"Don't yell at me! You just don't understand it!" I yelled back. I was suddenly more hurt than angry... He wouldn't let me hold him... For the first time in months he'd stepped away from me.
"I'd understand it if you trusted me enough to tell me!" he shouted, a flush creeping across his flawless cheeks.
"Will you stop yelling? You've got no reason to yell at me! You never had to fight him, you have never almost been killed by him! If you saw your godfather die I don't think you'd want to talk about it either! Oh wait, I forgot, it was your aunt that killed him!" I said, my voice rising steadily.
"Don't bring my family into this. Need I remind you that if it weren't for your godfather that your parents would still be alive?" Draco spat in a nasty tone.
"That's not true! It wasn't him that sold them out!"
"Who was it then? Or did they just drop dead of their own accord?" he said lightly, checking his nails in a very sarcastic way.
"Damnit Draco, you don't understand! Professor Lupin – "
"Yeah, I know who Lupin is. He's our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, the one with no money and even less dress sense."
"– and I exposed the truth in third year. If you paid attention to your surroundings and not just your hair you might have known that, Draco," I snapped, still fuming from the dig at my parents.
He glared at me for a moment before answering.
"Watch your step, Potter, and be careful who you insult. You remember who my father is, correct?" Draco said. I saw a lot of his old self returning to him... He had changed so much over the past couple of months, and here it was all melting away...
"Of course I know who your father is, Malfoy, I put him in Azkaban. Twice. Or did you forget that?" I said, a sneer playing on my face.
"Would I be correct in assuming that your precious Sirius was also in Azkaban?" Draco said, his voice rising about normal again.
"Leave Sirius out of this! One more word about him and I swear I'll – "I didn't get to say exactly what I'd do as Ron, followed close by Hermione, burst through the door.
"What the hell is going on up here? You could hear the shouting down in the common room!" Ron said, looking from me to Draco and back again, taking in the sight of the anger on our flushed faces.
"And here comes Potter's sidekicks. What would you do without them?" Draco said in his old bored drawl.
With that, he pushed past Hermione and stepped out the door, leaving his books on my desk.
I was in complete shock, although I tried to keep it off my face. He had just... left.
"Are you okay Harry?" Hermione asked, walking over and hugging me. I was thankful for the contact but I didn't want to hug her... She needed to be Draco... "Yes, I'm fine..." I lied as I pulled away from her. Ugh... I didn't want anyone to touch me.
~*~
I spent the rest of the day sitting in a chair in front of the fire, staring but seeing nothing. Everything seemed to have just completely faded away into nothing. I was angry with him, yes, but not angry enough to leave him... I knew better than to blame him for what he said, he didn't know what he was talking about. It had definitely been a shock to see him go back to his old self so quickly. He had changed so much... Into someone who was... Pleasant to be around, but now he seemed just as he had been before; someone I would rather not be around at all. This is what made this so bad, I didn't want to be around him, but I couldn't not be around him, either. I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep at all tonight.
I stood up and said my goodnight's to Ron and Hermione before ascending the stairs to the dormitory. I slowly undressed and pulled my pajamas on, then slid under the covers of my four poster and pulled the hangings shut. I stared, completely void of all emotion, at the ceiling until I heard the others some up to bed. The sounds of them dressing for bed brought me back to reality enough to realize exactly how long this night was going to be.
IHe hates me.../I
That was all I could think of for the next... What seemed like forever. I had finally managed to stop thinking about the argument, but now I was thinking about all the happy moments... and that was, in a way, worse.
I don't know exactly when the tears started, but they did. I only became aware of it when I sobbed loudly.
IShut up./I
I knew I had to be quiet... they'd hear me if I wasn't, and I didn't want them to hear me. I buried my face in my pillow to muffle my sobs; I couldn't stop them from coming now...
I thought about the last two months and how happy they had been, aside from the taunts in the corridors. I remembered how Draco had been...
I"Potter, will you slow down, I just want to talk to you!" "Talk, or curse, Draco?" "Talk. Just talk, Potter – Er, Harry,"
"Potter... Harry? What's it like?" "What's what like?" I asked, even though I had a feeling what. "Being you. Defeating the Dark Lord... The Boy Who Lived..."
"I haven't finished that essay yet! Can I hand it in tomorrow?"/I
Then there was how beautiful he looked in the moonlight as it streamed through the window... I had always loved walking with him at night because of how the moon seemed to bathe him in a silvery light. His eyes seemed more blue than gray now, only gray when he was angry... They were a soft watery blue the rest of the time... I loved his eyes... so easy to get lost in...
I need him. I can't sleep without him. I'd manage to drift off, but then I'd wake up and reach for him and all the pain would come back when he wasn't there. Each time would start a fresh wave of tears that were silenced by my pillows and my unwillingness to breath until it passed.
~*~
I didn't see Draco outside of classes at all over the next three days except when I thrust the books that he had left in my room into his arms before walking away. I didn't even look at his face. I couldn't look at him. It hurt too much.
I saw him in Potions class once; he didn't look at me at all... But I couldn't take my eyes off him. I guess the old saying 'you never know how much you love something until you don't have it anymore' is true.
~*~
Blaise Zabini, of course, thought all of this was very amusing and took every opportunity to taunt me. I notice he never said anything about Draco, unless you want to count "So Malfoy finally came to his senses and dropped the Gryffindork, huh?" every time I was within earshot.
"So, Potter, is it nice to have a bed all to yourself again?" he said one on Wednesday after Transfiguration.
I glared at him. What in the name of Merlin did he expect me to say to that? Hmm, let's go over the options, shall we?
I could say 'yes' and have Draco, who was standing about ten feet away, think that I don't miss him at all, or I could say 'no' and have them all think that I was a sniveling little child who needed someone there to baby- sit him at all hours.
"I don't think that's any of your business, Zabini," I said as calmly as I could manage. I wanted more than anything to hit him, to tell him that I missed Draco and he had no right or reason to make any sort of comment... But I didn't. I couldn't. I just walked away to my next class, Defense Against the Dark Arts.
~*~
"It's well into February now and as you know, you take your N.E.W.T exams in April, so we had better get moving on your knowledge of curses. I know that with "Moody" you did some with the Unforgivables, but we are going to go more in depth into the study of jinxes, hexes, counterjinxes, charms and curses," Professor Lupin said over the chatter in the room.
There was a slight murmuring in the room as people remembered Alastor Moody who had, in fact, been Barty Crouch, Jr., a Death Eater who had nearly been responsible for my death.
"We'll start with smaller jinxes, like Jelly Legs and the Four Point charm, simple things. Yes, I know you've probably gone over these in your Charms class, but here you'll actually get to use them on each other," Lu[in continued as the class started to quiet down.
I already knew how to work both the spells he just mentioned and he knew it. I had learned them in fourth year while training for the Triwizard Tournament. I could do a lot of spells then that I probably shouldn't be able to do now.
"Harry, would you come demonstrate a Stunner? I know you can do it," Lupin said, snapping me out of my day dreams.
"Oh, um, all right..." I said. What else was there to say? Besides, there weren't any taunting Slytherins in here.
I got up and stood next to Lupin, waiting for further instruction.
"Who'd you want me to Stun, Professor?"
He had me stun Ron, Hermione, Seamus, and two of the Ravenclaws before he was satisfied.
"See, that is how you can stop your opposition without actually hurting them. Not the choice of some wizards, but is nevertheless effective," Lupin said happily.
~*~
"Not hurt them my ass," Ron said, rubbing his lower back.
"I'm sorry," I said halfheartedly. It was hardly my fault that it hurts when you fall over.
I really wasn't in the mood for conversation, and this time Ron and Hermione knew exactly why that was and were trying to cheer me up. Needless to say, it was to absolutely no avail.
~*~
Later that evening when I probably should have been eating dinner, I sat by the lake throwing stones into the water.
"He hates me..." I whispered and I threw a rather large stone with all my strength .
"I don't hate you," said a voice coming from somewhere behind me.
I jumped in surprise. Partly because he had snuck up on me and partly because he was talking to me at all.
"I think you should read this," Draco said, coming and sitting next to me in the sand.
He handed me a piece of parchment with what looked like Ron's handwriting on it.
IMalfoy,
I don't know what happened with you and Harry, but whatever it is it's hurting him. I've seen him in all kinds of pain, but never like this. He's the Golden Boy who can take anything, correct? If that's so, how come he's been crying himself to sleep every night? He tries to hide it, but I can hear him. Even if I couldn't hear him, his eyes are all red by morning. He puts it down to not sleeping well, but I know better. Like I said, I hear him. Whatever, I can't change your mind or make you see what it's doing to him, but I had to tell you this much.
-Ron Weasley/I
I couldn't say anything. Ron, who had always seemed against my relationship with Draco, had written him a letter telling him how upset I was. Now it seemed like Ron was... Trying to get him to do something...
"Interesting," he whispered, moving a little closer but still not touching me. "Very interesting. I didn't know it would affect you that badly... I just assumed you'd get over it after I left... I suppose not."
I nodded, wishing that he'd just wrap one of his arms around me. I couldn't stand to be that close to him without us touching in some way.
It was like he could read my mind. He wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me close to him.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered against his chest, thankful that he was holding me.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said, rubbing his hand up my back. ~*~
We had an unspoken agreement to not mention the argument we had or it's after effects. He stayed in Gryffindor Tower with me that night and held me like he had before, with me curled up next to him and my head on his chest. He kissed the top my head and rubbed circles on my back until I fell asleep. It was warm and comfortable and for the first time that week I was able to sleep.
"Urgh... This is insane! I am a Malfoy, I cannot go through my entire life having to do everything for myself!" Draco said, halfway through a Transfiguration essay on Animagi.
"Draco, if you were going to do everything by the Malfoy Code Of Honor, you wouldn't have been kissing me how you were last night..." I said, grinning and touching his hand with mine.
I was very thankful that Ron wasn't there; I had a feeling kisses were soon to follow. I wasn't entirely wrong, he stood up and started rubbing my shoulders in a gentle circular pattern. He really was amazing at this, it's how he put me to sleep at night. I tipped my head back against his stomach and he trailed his hands down my chest. I squirmed when it tickled, but he didn't stop until I stood up.
I wrapped my arms around his waist and kissed across his collar bone. It was amazing how easily he could distract me from whatever I was doing simply with the promise of kisses. I teased his neck with my tongue, not stopping until he pulled away.
He brushed his fingers though my hair and off my face, then leaning in and kissing my forehead. He stopped and looked at me after a moment, his fingers tracing over my scar.
"Do you remember it, Harry?" he whispered, his face just inches from mine.
"Remember... What?" I said, my eyes opening fully and staring into his.
"When you got this scar," he said.
"Draco, we've been over this, I can't tell you. It's too difficult..."
"You know you can trust me," he said, dropping his voice to a whisper. He pulled me closer to him and kissed my cheek.
"I know..." I said, leaning on him and letting him hold me.
"So, will you tell me? About Voldemort?" he asked, running his fingers down my spine and whispering the words in my ear.
I pulled away from him, glaring. I shouldn't get mad at him, he's curious... Who wouldn't be? I had killed the man that had been wreaking havoc in Britain and other parts of the world for decades. But I still didn't feel right telling him... I couldn't tell him. It would bring back too many memories. The very memories that had taken me over a year to suppress. Memories that would continue to haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. No... I can't tell him... Not yet... Maybe.... Someday....
"Draco, I can't... I really can't. It's not that I don't want to, but the memories of it... Are too horrible..." I said, shivering as a vision of Voldemort as he uttered his last words to me: "You will pay, Potter, you will pay..."
"Do you trust me?" he said, stepping back from me.
"Yes, of course I do!"
"Then why won't you tell me? I deserve to know what my father was in with!" he said. I could tell he was starting to get angry...
"It's painful for me to remember... You don't understand," I said, my voice failing me.
"Harry, I need to know. Don't you think I deserve to know what my Father was in with?" Draco said, a slight hint of urgency in his voice.
"Draco, no! I can't! I'm sorry..." I said. It was breaking my heart that he didn't understand enough to not press me... But how could he know better? To him it would probably just seem like some grand adventure.
"But it's my Father, and all of my family! I told you about my aunt, Bellatrix, remember? Don't I deserve to know what was going on?" Draco asked, anger mingling with desperation in his voice.
"Yes, you do... But I'm not the proper person to tell you," I whispered. I heard the anger that was now lacing itself through his words and it scared me. He hadn't said anything to me in that tone of voice since.... December, and it was February now, and the circumstances of our relationship are much different than they were....
"But I think you are the proper person... We can talk about anything... Anything except this, right? The reason why you have a hard time trusting anyone, the reason why you wake up in a cold sweat every other night because you've had a nightmare about him... We can talk about anything... But that..." Draco said in an obviously hurt voice.
"You know I'd tell if I could... It's just too much to deal with," I whispered, making a move to hug him, but he stepped away.
"You don't trust me," he said, his voice rising dangerously now.
"Don't yell at me! You just don't understand it!" I yelled back. I was suddenly more hurt than angry... He wouldn't let me hold him... For the first time in months he'd stepped away from me.
"I'd understand it if you trusted me enough to tell me!" he shouted, a flush creeping across his flawless cheeks.
"Will you stop yelling? You've got no reason to yell at me! You never had to fight him, you have never almost been killed by him! If you saw your godfather die I don't think you'd want to talk about it either! Oh wait, I forgot, it was your aunt that killed him!" I said, my voice rising steadily.
"Don't bring my family into this. Need I remind you that if it weren't for your godfather that your parents would still be alive?" Draco spat in a nasty tone.
"That's not true! It wasn't him that sold them out!"
"Who was it then? Or did they just drop dead of their own accord?" he said lightly, checking his nails in a very sarcastic way.
"Damnit Draco, you don't understand! Professor Lupin – "
"Yeah, I know who Lupin is. He's our Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, the one with no money and even less dress sense."
"– and I exposed the truth in third year. If you paid attention to your surroundings and not just your hair you might have known that, Draco," I snapped, still fuming from the dig at my parents.
He glared at me for a moment before answering.
"Watch your step, Potter, and be careful who you insult. You remember who my father is, correct?" Draco said. I saw a lot of his old self returning to him... He had changed so much over the past couple of months, and here it was all melting away...
"Of course I know who your father is, Malfoy, I put him in Azkaban. Twice. Or did you forget that?" I said, a sneer playing on my face.
"Would I be correct in assuming that your precious Sirius was also in Azkaban?" Draco said, his voice rising about normal again.
"Leave Sirius out of this! One more word about him and I swear I'll – "I didn't get to say exactly what I'd do as Ron, followed close by Hermione, burst through the door.
"What the hell is going on up here? You could hear the shouting down in the common room!" Ron said, looking from me to Draco and back again, taking in the sight of the anger on our flushed faces.
"And here comes Potter's sidekicks. What would you do without them?" Draco said in his old bored drawl.
With that, he pushed past Hermione and stepped out the door, leaving his books on my desk.
I was in complete shock, although I tried to keep it off my face. He had just... left.
"Are you okay Harry?" Hermione asked, walking over and hugging me. I was thankful for the contact but I didn't want to hug her... She needed to be Draco... "Yes, I'm fine..." I lied as I pulled away from her. Ugh... I didn't want anyone to touch me.
~*~
I spent the rest of the day sitting in a chair in front of the fire, staring but seeing nothing. Everything seemed to have just completely faded away into nothing. I was angry with him, yes, but not angry enough to leave him... I knew better than to blame him for what he said, he didn't know what he was talking about. It had definitely been a shock to see him go back to his old self so quickly. He had changed so much... Into someone who was... Pleasant to be around, but now he seemed just as he had been before; someone I would rather not be around at all. This is what made this so bad, I didn't want to be around him, but I couldn't not be around him, either. I knew I wasn't going to be able to sleep at all tonight.
I stood up and said my goodnight's to Ron and Hermione before ascending the stairs to the dormitory. I slowly undressed and pulled my pajamas on, then slid under the covers of my four poster and pulled the hangings shut. I stared, completely void of all emotion, at the ceiling until I heard the others some up to bed. The sounds of them dressing for bed brought me back to reality enough to realize exactly how long this night was going to be.
IHe hates me.../I
That was all I could think of for the next... What seemed like forever. I had finally managed to stop thinking about the argument, but now I was thinking about all the happy moments... and that was, in a way, worse.
I don't know exactly when the tears started, but they did. I only became aware of it when I sobbed loudly.
IShut up./I
I knew I had to be quiet... they'd hear me if I wasn't, and I didn't want them to hear me. I buried my face in my pillow to muffle my sobs; I couldn't stop them from coming now...
I thought about the last two months and how happy they had been, aside from the taunts in the corridors. I remembered how Draco had been...
I"Potter, will you slow down, I just want to talk to you!" "Talk, or curse, Draco?" "Talk. Just talk, Potter – Er, Harry,"
"Potter... Harry? What's it like?" "What's what like?" I asked, even though I had a feeling what. "Being you. Defeating the Dark Lord... The Boy Who Lived..."
"I haven't finished that essay yet! Can I hand it in tomorrow?"/I
Then there was how beautiful he looked in the moonlight as it streamed through the window... I had always loved walking with him at night because of how the moon seemed to bathe him in a silvery light. His eyes seemed more blue than gray now, only gray when he was angry... They were a soft watery blue the rest of the time... I loved his eyes... so easy to get lost in...
I need him. I can't sleep without him. I'd manage to drift off, but then I'd wake up and reach for him and all the pain would come back when he wasn't there. Each time would start a fresh wave of tears that were silenced by my pillows and my unwillingness to breath until it passed.
~*~
I didn't see Draco outside of classes at all over the next three days except when I thrust the books that he had left in my room into his arms before walking away. I didn't even look at his face. I couldn't look at him. It hurt too much.
I saw him in Potions class once; he didn't look at me at all... But I couldn't take my eyes off him. I guess the old saying 'you never know how much you love something until you don't have it anymore' is true.
~*~
Blaise Zabini, of course, thought all of this was very amusing and took every opportunity to taunt me. I notice he never said anything about Draco, unless you want to count "So Malfoy finally came to his senses and dropped the Gryffindork, huh?" every time I was within earshot.
"So, Potter, is it nice to have a bed all to yourself again?" he said one on Wednesday after Transfiguration.
I glared at him. What in the name of Merlin did he expect me to say to that? Hmm, let's go over the options, shall we?
I could say 'yes' and have Draco, who was standing about ten feet away, think that I don't miss him at all, or I could say 'no' and have them all think that I was a sniveling little child who needed someone there to baby- sit him at all hours.
"I don't think that's any of your business, Zabini," I said as calmly as I could manage. I wanted more than anything to hit him, to tell him that I missed Draco and he had no right or reason to make any sort of comment... But I didn't. I couldn't. I just walked away to my next class, Defense Against the Dark Arts.
~*~
"It's well into February now and as you know, you take your N.E.W.T exams in April, so we had better get moving on your knowledge of curses. I know that with "Moody" you did some with the Unforgivables, but we are going to go more in depth into the study of jinxes, hexes, counterjinxes, charms and curses," Professor Lupin said over the chatter in the room.
There was a slight murmuring in the room as people remembered Alastor Moody who had, in fact, been Barty Crouch, Jr., a Death Eater who had nearly been responsible for my death.
"We'll start with smaller jinxes, like Jelly Legs and the Four Point charm, simple things. Yes, I know you've probably gone over these in your Charms class, but here you'll actually get to use them on each other," Lu[in continued as the class started to quiet down.
I already knew how to work both the spells he just mentioned and he knew it. I had learned them in fourth year while training for the Triwizard Tournament. I could do a lot of spells then that I probably shouldn't be able to do now.
"Harry, would you come demonstrate a Stunner? I know you can do it," Lupin said, snapping me out of my day dreams.
"Oh, um, all right..." I said. What else was there to say? Besides, there weren't any taunting Slytherins in here.
I got up and stood next to Lupin, waiting for further instruction.
"Who'd you want me to Stun, Professor?"
He had me stun Ron, Hermione, Seamus, and two of the Ravenclaws before he was satisfied.
"See, that is how you can stop your opposition without actually hurting them. Not the choice of some wizards, but is nevertheless effective," Lupin said happily.
~*~
"Not hurt them my ass," Ron said, rubbing his lower back.
"I'm sorry," I said halfheartedly. It was hardly my fault that it hurts when you fall over.
I really wasn't in the mood for conversation, and this time Ron and Hermione knew exactly why that was and were trying to cheer me up. Needless to say, it was to absolutely no avail.
~*~
Later that evening when I probably should have been eating dinner, I sat by the lake throwing stones into the water.
"He hates me..." I whispered and I threw a rather large stone with all my strength .
"I don't hate you," said a voice coming from somewhere behind me.
I jumped in surprise. Partly because he had snuck up on me and partly because he was talking to me at all.
"I think you should read this," Draco said, coming and sitting next to me in the sand.
He handed me a piece of parchment with what looked like Ron's handwriting on it.
IMalfoy,
I don't know what happened with you and Harry, but whatever it is it's hurting him. I've seen him in all kinds of pain, but never like this. He's the Golden Boy who can take anything, correct? If that's so, how come he's been crying himself to sleep every night? He tries to hide it, but I can hear him. Even if I couldn't hear him, his eyes are all red by morning. He puts it down to not sleeping well, but I know better. Like I said, I hear him. Whatever, I can't change your mind or make you see what it's doing to him, but I had to tell you this much.
-Ron Weasley/I
I couldn't say anything. Ron, who had always seemed against my relationship with Draco, had written him a letter telling him how upset I was. Now it seemed like Ron was... Trying to get him to do something...
"Interesting," he whispered, moving a little closer but still not touching me. "Very interesting. I didn't know it would affect you that badly... I just assumed you'd get over it after I left... I suppose not."
I nodded, wishing that he'd just wrap one of his arms around me. I couldn't stand to be that close to him without us touching in some way.
It was like he could read my mind. He wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me close to him.
"I'm sorry..." I whispered against his chest, thankful that he was holding me.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," he said, rubbing his hand up my back. ~*~
We had an unspoken agreement to not mention the argument we had or it's after effects. He stayed in Gryffindor Tower with me that night and held me like he had before, with me curled up next to him and my head on his chest. He kissed the top my head and rubbed circles on my back until I fell asleep. It was warm and comfortable and for the first time that week I was able to sleep.
