Harry was walking down the corridor on his way to the Defense Against the Dark Arts class. Last year's Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher Professor Umbrige was removed of the position since she tried to violently take over and overpower all of Hogwarts school. Harry wondered who his new teacher would be. Maybe Dumbledore finally hired someone civilized. Then again, it wouldn't be Defense Against the Dark Arts if it was civil. Where's the fun in that!?

As Harry entered the class he noticed a short lady wit black hair and a huge ass. He told himself, "maybe she's not as bad as she looks." He then took his usual seat in the class, next to Ron and behind Hermione. Hermione looked overly content with the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher but Harry on the other hand didn't really know what to think.

When class began the professor introduced herself as Professor Laponi. She explained to them how she was fired from her other job in some distant school when the students found out that she was half senile and had the "fifth" sense.

"Class! Lets start by taking attendance." She hollered. But the class just kept on talking.

"Class I'm taLKIng!" She screamed even louder as the tone of her voice kept on going up and down. She then pulled out her magic wand and cast a spell.

"Crescendo Whistleo!" Just then a whistle appeared. She took it as if it was her last resort and blew the whistle as loud as her lungs could blow. Holding in laughs the class finally stopped talking.

"That's better!" she said. She then began to read the names on the class list.

"Ermyoni" she read.

"Professor, its Her-mi-on-e!" said Ron.

"Excuse me mister, but if Ermyoni wanted her name corrected she would have said it herself!" Said Professor Laponi.

Hermione then interrupted, "Ummm. Its Herm..."

"SILENCE!! No talking while I take the attendances!" Professor Laponi screamed. "Now back to the attendances, T-t-tess Pipponi!? OH MY HECK! I know her!!!" Professor Laponi was holding back tears. "She was my model student back in my old school!!"

In the back of the class a blonde haired girl was hiding her face underneath her books. She wondered to herself what mortal sin she had committed in her other life to be stuck in that class! Tess Pipponi than with a sarcastic enthusiasm said, "Hi Professor!"

"Class you see Tess Pipponi was my old English student! She was the best in the class" Professor Laponi sighed. "If only you were all like her!" Then she began to worship Tess.

A while later she finally went back to her attendance list.

"Now where was I?" Professor Laponi asked. "Oh yes! Harry Ptotter!?"

"Present!" replied Harry.

She then continued the attendance list right down to "Ron Wheezly."

Professor Laponi then began to talk once again. Hermione's enthusiasm turned into trauma and Harry hoped it would be all a dream... but it wasn't it was really happening.

"First we're going to do vocab! Not vocabulary... its called vocab!! One word a day and then I'll be testing you. Now today's word is Hippogriff. Can anyone use it in context?!"

Hermione raised her hand.

"Ya you! The one in front of that guy with the physical deformity on his forehead!" she said.

"Yes, a Hippogriff is a lion-eagle." Hermione said. "The hippogriff's claws caught the fish as he soared about the river."

"Very good! Now I'll just change it a bit." Said Professor Laponi.

She then wrote on the chalkboard The half eagle half lion also known as a hippogriff ran in the forest until he found a comrade.

"Umm that's not what I said!" exclaimed Hermione.

"Class! What is this nonsense! You are IB wizards! You are supposed to behave!" said Professor Laponi.

She then spent 20 minutes lecturing the class about being role model students and comparing them all to the "excellence" of Tess Pipponi.

She finally ended up handing out their hardcover textbooks which had the words "magic power" written on them. There were also 3 uneven holes which looked like they were chiseled.

"I hole punched them myself!" she proudly exclaimed. "Now for homework, I don't want to give you to much work, just do until page 29."

Harry then asked, "When is this homework due!?"

"Next class!" she snapped in. "However I'm not checking it because I believe in the honesty policy."

"Also write a 3 scroll persuasive essay to persuade me on how Tess Pipponi is even more of a role model student." She said "And if I don't get persuaded you will be penalized!!"

Tess Pipponi raised her hand. "Professor, what do I write about!?"

"Oh! You don't need to write about anything. Just write your name and I'll give you a reasonable mark!"

Just then the clock struck 10 which meant that it was the end of class! What a day. Harry thought that he was going to once again fail Defense Against the Dark Arts because once again Dumbledore hired a total crazed lunatic. Perhaps things would get better.... Hermione on the other hand left class crying and saying how her whole future would be ruined.