A/N: We're BAAAACK! And for some reason, we can't remember why, Jen*Draca is GOOOOODDDDDDDDDD, Freckled Raven is Satan, and Random character is thenorhtiahdrithakjf. (don't bother asking what the hell that is…she just decided that's who she was…why? We have no idea). Well it's been a looooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggggg time…but we're back. That may be a good thing…maybe not. We really don't know. You decide. Thanks for reviewing everyone! You must be crazier than we are.^^
Ammmmmmmy: Hope Foofoobear didn't have a bad trip, what would a teddy bear's bad trip be like anyway? Moving on, here's the next chappie you've been anticipating.
Zelph: Well we've kept writing… as you can tell…
Druidess Vadania: Yup, Monty Python rules!!! NOOOO, not the crack!!! WE NEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDD it. I suppose ice cream would work too… it's doing a lot for us right now.
Frankie Beeblebrox: Well welcome to more wonderment that is still parody… ah yes, we are the queens of stating that obvious. The absolute bloody obvious.
Katie115: Yes, we are nuts, honestly, you should have known by now, well here's what Harry will say!
Foureyedsnail: Yay! Pointless friends!! Don't worry about catching plot, there really isn't one… basically Voldie is a pansy, Harry has an evil twin sister, and Hermione is prone to fits of violent insanity.
Now ON WITH THE INSANITY!!!
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Chapter 3: Inconvenience and apologies.
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* IMPORTANT NOTE!! READ THIS NOW IF YOU WANT TO COMPREHEND ANYTHING!* Due to the fact that the authoresses are incredibly bored with the current situation in the plot, we have decided to skip further ahead to a more interesting part that we actually have interest in writing. We apologise for any inconvenience. Moving on…
Hermione decided that the best course of action would be to introduce Harrina to…everyone else. So what if she was just being a busy body, so what if Dumbledore had chained Harrina up for a reason. Dumbledore was OLD…man. His head was all screwed on too tight and shit, yo. Fo' real yo. Shizzel my nizzel.
Freckled Raven: ok…just…NO!
Random Character: *looks sad*
Jen*Draca: back to the damn story
Freckled Raven: you're caucasian for gods sake. For the last time YOU ARE NOT BLACK.
Random Character: woah. That was racist!
Jen*Draca: shut up and get back to the damn story!
We apologise to any african american/canadian/whatever out there who were offended. We're REALLY REALLY SORRY!... moving on.
Hermione walked into the common room with Harrina in tow. Seeing Harry Ron and 'the gang' in the common room she began to speak.
"yo my homies. Was happenin'?" She turned away from her aghast dorm mates to Harrina. "Yo babe this is my crib…where I chill with my homies."
Freckled Raven: JESUS FORKING CHRIST I SAID STOP!!!
Random Character: sorry
Harry and Ron tried to ignore Hermiones bizarre and very ooc greeting. They chalked it up to PMS. Walking up to the two girls, Harry and Ron looked over Harrina in shock. All Harrina could do was stare back into Harry's stunning green eyes that were exactly like hers.
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Harrina's POV
From the moment I saw him I knew my heart was trying to tell my something, but what? *romantic music playing in background* Was it true love, or was I only being told that he would break my evil little heart?
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Harry's POV
Woah…dude…she looks the exact same as me. That is soooooo trippy
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Harrina's POV
I'm not sure…but I think that this moment will be the first time I fall (dun dun daa) in LOVE!!!
Freckled Raven: hold it!…this is SO wrong.
Jen*Draca: yes…yes it is. It's just so… ewww.
Random Character: I know, with the incest and the other stuff. I mean they're twins! Nasty nasty nasty.
Freckled Raven: I can't believe we're writing this. Whose idea was it anyways?!
Random Character: sorry that would be me. Come on. It's so wrong it's hilarious.
Harrina: excuse me for a sec but you're interrupting the most important part of the story.
Freckeled Raven: and which part is that exactly?
Harrina: THE PART WITH ME IN IT. THE PART WHERE I COME TO GRIPS WITH MY FEELINGS FOR HARRY!
Random Character: Which is exactly why we're interrupting it.
Jen*Draca: cause it's just so…wrong.
Harrina: but it has ME in it.
Freckled Raven: your point? Can't you see we're trying to have a forking conversation here?
Random Character: forking?
Freckled Raven: yes, forking, I read it in another parody fic. MarySue Mockfest 2003. It's a really great parody about the goddess of Mary Sues Celestina Windbreaker and this girl named Randi-
Harrina: HELLO. Get off your asses, stop talking, and finish MY fic!
Jen*Draca: excuse me, but that's really rude. You shouldn't interrupt people like that. (this is funny cause Jen*Draca would never actually say this in rl)
Harrina: maybe if you got back to the fic I'd stop "interrupting" you.
Random Character: you can be really annoying you know that? Why don't you get back in the fic and we'll keep writing.
Harrina: why don't you keep writing and I'll get back in the fic.
Jen*Draca: shut up! *pummels Harrina with erasers and herds her back into the fic.*
Freckled Raven: now that that's settled…
Random Character: but it isn't. There's still the matter of how wrong this is.
Freckled Raven: I wouldn't be talking about it like that. It was your idea.
Random Character: oh yah. Ok people, *claps* back to the fic.
Due to a case of writers block…this scene is now finished. On to something more interesting…again. Once again we apologise for any inconvenience.
In the Great hall, Harry, Ron, and Harrina were talking about all the things Harrina had missed throughout her stay in the dungeons. Things like…the sun…and food (that wasn't rats). Ironically enough, Dumbledore didn't seem to notice that Harrina had escaped…because he was old and senile.
"La la la la la la la la," sang Dumbledore as he walked between the tables carrying a ... COD (see it's not a herring! Hah! We're original!) and a talking banana that he had named George.
"Should he really be headmaster of this school?" wondered McGonagal. But she quickly went back to her breakfast of pure potassium (if George had seen this he would not have been happy…because bananas have potassium in them…just in case you were wondering…or didn't make that connection…why did we say that…no idea)
"So basically the way quills work is that you stick the pointy end on a piece of beige stuff we call parchment." said Harry to Harrina.
"You retard, you're going to confuse her…you have to dip it into the ink first." said Ron.
As they continued on this 'fascinating' conversation, Draco happened to walk by. Wait a second. Ok he kind of meant to walk by…just so he could sneer…cause that's what Draco does. That and drawl. It's all part of his daily routine. And we wouldn't want to upset this routine because then he'd get all anal.
Draco: damn straight
And it makes him feel superior. Draco sneered…in a very talented way (he'd had a lot of practise) and was about to pass them by when he suddenly did a double take. Sitting there at the Gryffindor table beside Harry was the most beautiful creature he had ever seen. Even though she looked exactly like Harry. Except for the boobs. Which is mainly what he focused on.
Jen*Draca: sick pervert
At this moment, Ron attacked him and started beating him with a spork (it's kind of a spoon/fork thing…nevermind) which he carried around in his pocket for good luck.
"YOU WERE LOOKING AT MY SISTER!!" Ron yelled as he beat Draco (unsuccesfully) with the spork.
"No I wasn't! I think you just want me to look at your sister…you sick freak. God you have issues!" Draco said (notice in the actual books how many times they use the word said? Sorry just had to say that).
"You BASTARD" screamed Ron, amazed that Draco had figured out his secret. Just then a small Gryffindor 1st year piped up, his face a mask of grief.
"My parents weren't married when I was born." said 1st year gryffindor.
"Son of a bitch." Ron said in frustration rolling his eyes.
"My mom was a dog," 1st year gryffindor wailed. It was at this moment that everyone suddenly realised that 1st year gryffindor (that's his name by the way…says us) had fur, and a tail. They were all overwhelmed with a desire to call him Spot.
"BLOODY FORKING JESUS!" Ron yelled.
It was at this moment that 'the christian lord and saviour' (to be said in british accent) appeared in a cloud of pleasant smelling smoke…it smelled like…toothpaste..you know…the nice minty kind.
"Hey that hurts my feelings." Jesus cried angrily, "have you ever been crucified? No? I didn't think so. You shouldn't make light of my sacrifice for human kind. CAUSE IT HURT LIKE A BITCH!"
"When will it end?" yelled/wailed 1st year Gryffindor/dog child. Having made his point, Jesus dissappeared…in the same cloud of minty smelling toothpaste smoke.
Due to inability on the writers part to continue this in any meaningful way, we have decided to end the chapter. We are sorry for the inconvenience. We would also like to apologise to any religious readers that we may have offended.
Freckled Raven: man we're apologizing a lot tonight.
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And so endith the chapterith, said the lord. And he thought it was good.
Jen*Draca: thanks for that ending Jesus. You're my saviour…even though I am GOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD.
Jesus: anytime.
Random Character: yo homies that's the end of this bitchin' chapter yo.
Freckled Raven: sweet jesus!
Jesus: why thank you.
Freckled Raven: oh for the love of... *wanders away mutterin yo* STOP IT!
Random Character: hehehe
Jen*Draca: In case you were wondering…the chapters over now.
The end…of this chapter…there will be many more.
Jen*Draca: *singing* AND MANY MORE! What are you still doing here? I said the chapter's over…go away…don't you have lives? BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO REVIEW! Candy for those who do…and more insults to those who don't…not that we can tell if you didn't review or anything.
Random Character: stop before you hurt yourself.
The end…for real now…yo.
