He walked away from the noisy Christmas Eve party. Eavesdropping, it seems, is good for many things. Like figuring out from McGonagall and Lupin why Harry wasn't there laughing with everyone else.
The cheery (and slightly out of tune) Christmas carols stopped abruptly when the doors closed. The moon reflected eerily on the snow. Draco shivered and pulled his cloak closer to his body. He spotted Harry beneath a tree, sitting on the snow. His knees were drawn to his chest and his glasses set off to the side. The palms of his hands were pressed into his eyes. To fight off tears, probably. Draco sat next to him.
"I heard what happened,"A whisper. The night was too fragile for anything more.
"So what? Come to make fun of me have you? Or to give me pity? I swear, the next person to pity me will find my wand up their–"
"To make fun of you at a time like this," Draco interrupted calmly, "would require cruelty even I do not possess. As for pity... I never have, and never will, pity you Potter,"
Harry nodded. A small feat when your hands are holding your head, Draco noted. He waited for Harry to speak. The wait wasn't long.
"Why him?" A question that really didn't need an answer. It's a good thing, since Draco didn't have one. Harry, however, did. "It's always the good who die young, isn't it?"
"I suppose it is... It's probably a good thing I don't have any 'good' friends." Perfect Draco. Distract Potter from his problems by focusing on yours.
"Why's that?"
"I don't get hurt as bad when they die. Very few people would cause me grief if they died. I could count them on one hand... But, I miss out on the things you take for granted. The freedom to laugh when I want. I can remember the last time I laughed; the morning of my sixth birthday. The last time I cried was the afternoon of the same day... I can't even talk to whomever I want. My father... my father has spies everywhere. If he even suspects that I don't want to be a Death Eater..." he trailed off. Harry would get the silent meaning. Harry looked at him. Draco still refused to look into the innocent green eyes.
"Do you want to be a Death Eater?"
Harry couldn't have known how complicated that seemingly simple question really was. In those eight words Draco's whole existence; his past, his present, his future and his beliefs were questioned.
"I don't know," he replied softly. Harry studied him for a few minutes, then put his head back into his hands and sighed. Draco tentatively put his hand on Harry's shoulder.
"He was such a good person," Harry whispered. Draco could hear the tears in his voice. He wrapped his arm around Harry's shoulders. "Why him? He had people who cared about him, he had a girlfriend! He had everything-" a sob, "-everything!"
Draco pulled Harry into his chest softly. He wasn't used to touching people. Having them touch him gently. Draco was surprised that he knew what to do. He moved his arm from Harry's shoulders to his waist and gently rubbed his back. His other hand was running through Harry's messy hair in a soothing manner. Draco couldn't hear what he was saying, but Harry was mumbling things about his friend through his sobs. He was murmuring comforting words into Harry's hair.
Slowly, Harry quieted down. Draco continued to run his fingers through Harry's hair while Harry caught his breath against Draco's chest. He quite liked touching someone for once, even if it was just Harry Potter. The only person he had for a parent now was his godfather, and the man wasn't too big on the touching thing either.
"I'm sorry," Harry mumbled. Draco stopped his hand and removed it from Harry's soft locks. They moved apart awkwardly.
"It's all right," Draco whispered.
Harry sniffed. "Then thank you," he wouldn't look up.
"You're welcome," They sat in an awkward silence. It was only broken by an occasional sniff from Harry. "Are you coming back in?" Harry shook his head.
"I don't want to see anyone yet,"
Draco nodded and stood up. He put his hands in his pockets and felt the wrapped necklace that he had forgotten in there. Draco thought for a moment, then pulled the present out. He removed his warm cloak while trying to keep from dropping the little box. The freezing wind went through his clothes and seemingly straight to his bones, but he ignored it. He draped the coat around Harry's shoulders.
"Malfoy...?"
"We can't have the savior of the world freezing to death, now can we?" A light, teasing voice. Harry got it, he smiled. Draco put the package into Harry's fingers and closed them around the box.
"Happy Christmas Potter."
Draco woke the next morning to a small pile of presents. His mother had more or less forgotten about her son. While the year before she had sent Draco at least one letter a week, he had only gotten two this year, including his Christmas present. Draco suspected that she was seeing another person behind his father's back, but he shook the thought out if his head.
A petite box wrapped in forest green paper caught his eye. He saved that one for last. It didn't take long until he was pulling the fine paper away. All it contained was a note:
For your present, meet me in the entrance hall before breakfast.
There was no name on the bottom. Or anywhere on the wrapping paper either. The message, cryptic as it was, sparked Draco's curiosity and he hurried into the shower. He slowly started up the stairs from the dungeon that led into the entrance hall. He couldn't help it, his expectations were quite high. His stomach was in knots, and he had no explanation as to why.
When he reached the meeting place, he saw Harry standing against one of the stone walls. A bundle, Draco noted was the cloak he had lent him yesterday, was in Harry's arms. He stopped next to Harry, who looked up.
"I didn't think you'd come,"
"With a suggestive note like that, who wouldn't?"
Harry laughed. As he did, his burden slipped down. He hiked it back up, and then told Draco told hold out his arms. Draco felt his coat squirm in his arms. He looked at Harry.
"Look inside," Harry said softly. Draco pulled part of the coat away and saw a small, white kitten in his arms. He swallowed his dry tears.
"I... I couldn't–I mean–"
"She's yours,"
Draco locked his eyes with Harry's for the first time during one of their 'conversations.' He felt like he was looking through the other boy, into his soul. Harry's eyes showed his emotions in a way Draco's never could. Harry's eyes were filled with sorrow and sadness but at the same time laughter and felicity. At the moment, they were portraying complete trust.
The kitten rubbed her head under Draco's chin and purred. Draco closed his eyes and whispered, "Thank you,"
"Happy Christmas Malfoy," Harry replied quietly.
"Call me 'Draco'," he said, still in a whisper.
"Only if you call me 'Harry'," Draco simply nodded his agreement. Harry walked into the Great Hall to eat breakfast. Once he had composed himself, Draco followed him. He sat next to Severus, who raised an aristocratic eyebrow at the kitten.
"What is that?"
"It's a kitten professor. Honestly!" he heard a few people, Harry for one, stifle their laughs. The kitten clambered into Severus' lap. White cat hair stuck to the mans signature black robes almost instantly.
Remus Lupin (the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor) whispered to Harry, "Isn't that the cat we picked up in Diagon Alley last week?"
"Yeah, it is," Harry said simply. The tone in his voice ended the conversation. While Draco and Harry had busied themselves with the delicious food in front of them, Remus locked eyes with Severus, who had been watching the conversation. He raised an eyebrow and Severus shrugged.
In the moment Severus had taken his attention away from the feline in his lap it had tried to climb onto the table. Severus' plate was between the kitten and its destination, and he ended up with food covering him. The attention of the whole table was drawn to the potions master at the clatter and they were watching him apprehensively.
He looked over at Draco pointedly. Draco gathered the playful kitten back into his lap sheepishly. Harry locked eyes with Draco and gave him a secret wink.
Draco was sitting on a bench, waiting for the Hogwarts Express with everyone else. The kitten was bundled up in his lap. She was warm and asleep. He, on the other hand, was not warm. It was freezing out there!
The train arrived slowly. Happy people got off. Talking and laughter were every where. Well, almost everywhere.
Harry had found Hermione, and he pulled her into a hug. She was crying into his shoulder while he mumbled words of comfort. He took the role that Draco had. Draco realized that he had seen Harry's weak side. A side that Hermione wasn't going to be seeing anytime soon.
Draco felt the need to be next to them. To help comfort Hermione. To do everything that they did. But he couldn't. It wasn't allowed. He was a Malfoy, wasn't he? Private conversations with Harry were one thing. But trying to become friends with Harry and Hermione on the Hogsmeade station? That was something entirely different. And it was cruel. It would be like trying to replace Ron. He couldn't do that. Draco knew it then. That he was an outsider, destined to be alone. Always alone. Unless he did something now.
Please Review!
Note: Edited on 12/16/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.
:-:silver-sunn101:-:
