He looked past his Slytherin-green curtains into the night sky. His window was open, letting the warm early-summer night air into his room. It breathed down onto him softly, but it still didn't lull him into sleep. He felt that something was missing. Something he couldn't place.

There was tentative knocking on the door to his room. The door that gave him access to his private Head Boy rooms. Draco sighed and pulled a shirt on before he left the bedroom to answer it. He was looked at his visitor in a slight shock.

"Harry? What's wrong? Why are you here at this time of the night?" he asked softly. He opened the door wider to allow Harry access to his rooms. Harry wasn't looking too well, in Draco's opinion. He had bags under his eyes. His eyes themselves were lined red and bloodshot. His skin was sweaty and pale and he was trembling.

"C-can I stay with you tonight?" he whispered. "Please?" The tone in his voice, combined with Harry's appearance, broke Draco's heart. He didn't like to see his love looking so helpless.

"Of course you can. Come on," Draco put his arm around Harry's waist to lead him into the bedroom. He lifted up the blankets for Harry, andHarry crawled in without question. Draco walked around the bed to the other side. He held Harry in his arms. "What's wrong?" he whispered. A small, shaky sigh escaped the other boy's lips.

"I-I feel so stupid... I had another nightmare and I thought that–maybe–sleeping with you would help me sleep better," Harry whispered. Draco could hear the fear in Harry's voice. He was afraid that Draco would push him away!

Draco hugged him tighter.

"That's not stupid Harry, it makes perfect sense... Do you want to tell me about it?" Harry nodded silently.

"At first, it was like looking in a pensive, you know? And then, I sort of fell in, and I was like an outsider in a memory. The memory was the night my parents died... Voldemort came, and he k-killed them. These ghost- looking figures came out of their bodies, looked straight at me and said 'If it wasn't for you, Harry, we'd still be alive'... After that, the memory switched to something I'd never seen. The Dursleys, the family I stay with, were all killed by Voldemort and they became ghosts and said, 'If we hadn't taken you in, Harry, we'd still be alive.' And then Cedric died, and his ghost said 'If I hadn't listened to you, Harry, I'd still be alive'," Harry stopped and let out a small sob. Tears were already running down his cheeks.

"Then-then Sirius' fell behind the veil and I looked in, and his ghost was looking at me and said, 'If you weren't stupid enough to fall for Voldemort's trap, Harry, I'd still be alive.' And Ron appeared and said 'If I wasn't your friend, Harry, I'd still be alive.' Everyonebecame ghosts and started saying that! Hermione, Remus, Dumbledore, McGonagall, Hagrid, Snape, and then you!" Harry sobbed harder. "You showed up human, not ghost-like, all bloodied and bruised and you said-you said 'If I hadn't fallen in love with you, Harry, I'd still be alive!'"

Harry was crying severely by this point. So hard that Draco hardly made out the end of the nightmare. He ran his fingers through Harry's hair and made soothing noises. When Harry calmed enough, Draco looked him in the eye.

"That'll never happen Harry. I'd never blame you if I died. I've been the happiest I've ever been with you, and I wouldn't trade it for anything," he kissed away a tear on Harry's nose. "And it's because I love you, Harry." Harry looked a little shocked.

"I love you too Draco," he said softly. Draco kissed his slightly parted lips and when they pulled apart, Harry looked at him, "You know, no one's ever said that to me before,"

"Me either,"

Harry yawned quietly. He buried his head in Draco's chest. "I'm glad I got to share it with you, then,"

Draco ran his fingers through Harry's raven locks again. "Me too Harry, me too,"

He, too, fell asleep. He didn't even realize that he had found what he was missing. And that it was asleep in his arms.


Draco was walking to dinner in a fairly good mood. He was whistling part of Carmen under his breath. Since everyone else was at dinner, Draco had an uninterrupted walk. That is, he had an uninterrupted walk until a random classroom door opened, a hand shot out, and he was drug into the room.

"What do you think you are doing with Harry!" Draco calmed at the sight of the person. He had thought that it was someone bad. He sat on top of a dusty desk.

"Nothing," it came out more as a question than at statement.

"That's not what I was told," Hermione was glaring at him. Her hands rested on her hips.

"Well then, what were you told?"

"I was told that you are romantically involved with him,"

"He told you!"

"Was he not supposed to?" she raised an eyebrow.

"No–I mean–we never decided–but–"

"That's what I thought!" Draco was silent. Hermione looked at him with a calculating gaze. "You can't love him, you know."

Draco swung his legs childishly. "Why can't I? Are you saying that it's forbidden or that I'm incapable of love?"

"A little of both," she said after a moment.

"I may agree with you on the first, but not on the second,"

"If it's so forbidden, then why do you do it?"

"I love him. It's as simple as that."

"Love isn't simple."

"You know this from experience?" Had Hermione had a lover? She hadn't had anyone besides Ron, as far as Draco could remember. He was sure thatRon's death didn't help anything for her.

"Yes, but we aren't talking about me... I'll cut straight to the chase–I believe that you are using him!" Hermione looked at him. With her eyes she dared him to lie to her.

"Oh yes Granger," he said sarcastically. "I'm going to make him fall drastically in love with me and lure him out of this 'safe' castle and straight to Voldemort. After Voldemort kills Harry, I'll be made second in command–even thought it's common knowledge that Voldemort uses his followers until they're dead or incapable of following him. You've found me out. I'm shocked," he ended in a monotone.

"Your sarcasm didn't do anything to convince me that you don't mean to hurt Harry," she said, unfazed.

"Do I need to convince you?"

"Yes. Right now I'm what's standing between you and him. Which professor wouldn't believe me if Itold themthat you two need to be kept away from each other?"

"Professors Snape, Lupin, McGonagall, and Dumbledore," he answered the rhetorical question. Hermione raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know that?" Draco shrugged.

"How do you know that I mean Harry harm?" A question for a question. He had been trained for interrogation too well.

"You're a Malfoy," Hermione said as if it explained everything.

"So? Does that mean that I'm automatically evil? Does that make me any less capable of feeling love?" She didn't respond. "Granger, I've been alone my whole life–" She opened her mouth to speak. "No, let me finish. My parents are like walking statues, and my mother stopped hugging me when I was five. I haven't cried since I was six, and I'm not sure I remember how to. The first time I truly laughed was with Harry, before that I hadn't laughed. I've had manners, courtesy, threats, and how to act like a damned 'proper Malfoy'–" he moved his fingers in the air to gesture the quotations, "beaten into me for a very long time. It wasn't until I started talking to Harry did I have a real friend," As he paused to take a breath, Hermione spoke.

"Are you sure that you didn't mistake feelings of friendship for love?" Draco heard hurt and experience in her voice. He said nothing about it. He stared straight into her chocolate eyes.

"More sure than I've ever been about anything in my life." She looked hesitant to believe him. "I am a good guy, Granger... I don't want to be a Death Eater." Her eyes widened.

"You–what!"

"I talked to my godfather(Snape) and Lupin, and they to Dumbledore. After school gets out, I'm joining the Order,"

"And Remus believes that you really want this?"

Draco nodded. "He does, even if it is just because Severus told him to trust me... Deciding to switch sides earned me a lot. It was worth the proud look in Severus' eyes alone to switch. Not to count the same look from Lupin, McGonagall, Dumbledore and Harry even!"

"I still don't believe you! This is so sudden–this 'change' in you. I don't buy it,"

"I've been questioning it for months,"

Hermione simply shook her head.

Draco looked down at the floor. This was a courtroom. And in front of him was a one-girl jury. His eyes tingled and his throat constricted. He didn't feel it. All he could think of was losing Harry. The thought of loss made his body ache.

"You can't keep him away from me... I don't know what I'd do without him," he looked up at her. Her eyes widened, but she said nothing. "You don't know what it's like to have stone-cold parents. Harry and Severus are all I have. And Severus has more important things to do than ensure my happiness. Sure, he cares about it, but it's not his main concern. If you take Harry away... I'll be alone. I don't want to be alone." She didn't comment on his little speech.

"I thought that you said you had forgotten how to cry," she said softly. Draco gave her an odd look.

"I have forgotten how to cry,"

"Then what are those things trailing from your eyes?"

Draco wiped his cheeks. Salty tears coated his hands. He stared at them in near wonderment. "But I–I didn't even realize that I was doing it," he whispered to himself. He continued to ponder his tears silently. All the while, Hermione observed him.

"All right," she said abruptly. Draco almost jumped. He looked at her.

"All right?"

"I'll leave you two alone. But, if I suspect anything but the best intentions..." Draco nodded vigorously. He was overjoyed that she gave in. So much so that he sprung off of the desk and hugged her. He pulled back when he realized what he had done.

"Sorry..." he mumbled.

"It's all right," her eyes were now dancing with mirth.

"Thank you–for letting Harry and I stay together... I hope that you'll give me a chance to show you that I'm really a good guy,"

"I think you can have one chance. For Harry's sake. But one mistake..." she trailed off cryptically. Draco nodded again. He had to be on his best behavior from now on. Hermione turned to leave, but Draco stopped her.

"Granger!" she turned back around. "In public–in classes and such–I'll still have to keep up appearance. I want you to know that I don't mean what I say, and that I haven't for most of this term. And that I'm sorry for all the times I called you a Mudblood. You didn't deserve that,"

"Thank you, you don't know how much that means... And, I suppose, I'll help you 'keep up appearances' though I don't understand why you must..."

"My father'd kill me, or find someone else to, if he knew which side I'm on. And it gives them less time to plan without me. I've been trained since birth to be a Death Eater and they are one-hundred percent positive that I'm joining them. The longer we put off letting them find out, the better advantage we have,"

"All right, that makes sense... Bye Malfoy,"

"You may call me Draco, if you like," she nodded, but didn't say anything. He understood; she still didn't trust him. She wasn't ready to be on a first name basis. Draco didn't push it. "Good-bye Granger,"

The door shut quietly behind her and Draco was alone. But, not completely. He had managed to keep his and Harry's relationship safe for now. And his sanity intact. Even if Hermione only half-believed him, it was a start.

Draco walked over to the open window. There were a few students were enjoying the last minutes of the summer sun before it set for the night. The sun was shining an unearthly bright orange that seemed to make the room, and the grounds outside, glow.

Graduation would be soon.

They were already practicing the graduation ceremonies. At the end of the term he would have his chance to convince the Order that he is worth the chance to join. But with the end of the term comes the end of his life in the school. The end of the safety behind the powerful walls of Hogwarts.

Draco wasn't anxious to see that final day. Not in the least.


A/n– Harry does seem to cry a lot, doesn't he?

Please Review!

Note: Edited on 12/16/04 for grammar, spelling and punctuation. A few things may be different from the original version, but nothing drastic.

:-:silver-sunn101:-: