A/N: God, it's been months since I last updated.. If anyone is still
following this, I apologize. But sometimes life just gets in the way. I've
had a serious case of writer's block. It seems like I can only write when
I'm miserable. I use writing as a way to escape reality, but when reality
is looking pretty good, there's no reason to escape from it. But hey, I'm
all back to my usual moody and whiny self, so now I should be able to
finish this story once and for all.
Ok, this note got a bit longer than planned..
Chapter 12
Exhausted, Buffy dragged herself to her feet and started making her way towards the bathroom. All dimensions might be about to be destroyed at any minute, but at that moment she only wished to brush her teeth. The rooms that they'd been given didn't really lack anything, if you thought of the fact that the dimension they were in had pretty much frozen and stayed in the 1950's when technology was concerned. A computer nerd would probably think of it as hell.
Buffy brushed her teeth slowly while she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked just as she always did, except for the clothes. Whoever had picked out the clothes for her wardrobe might be good at ball gowns, but when it came to every day clothes he or she really had a lack of fashion sense. But it wasn't like it mattered. She didn't really care what the vampires and demons thought of her, and Spike -- well, she didn't think that she cared about that either. None the less she put her uncombed hair up in a ponytail and smoothed some of the creases out of her lavender blouse. She only did it because the loose strings of hair were bothering her, of course. It had nothing to do with any blonde, obnoxious vampire that sat on the sofa just outside. No, nothing at all.
Somewhat pleased with her appearance Buffy left the bathroom and tried to walk to her bedroom as unnoticed as she possibly could. But since Spike was neither deaf nor blind she didn't make it. Plus he had the whole vampire sense thing going on.
"You're going to bed?" he asked her, obviously trying to sound indifferent.
She shrugged and opened the door.
"Yeah, I'm, kinda beat. Plus I think that I could use a good nights sleep. Who knows what happens tomorrow." She almost went in and closed the door behind her, but against her better judgement she turned towards him. "Why'd you ask?"
Spike shrugged as well and did his best to make her meet his eyes.
"Just thought we could talk, tha's all," he said, still trying to sound like it didn't really matter whether she stayed or not.
"I thought we just did," Buffy replied slowly. "Just minutes ago. You know; you me, with the words and the-- er, dimensions."
"Yeah, right," he agreed quickly, and it seemed like that was the end of it. But just as she started to turn around, he took a breath and started talking again.
"I thought that we could talk about other stuff. Like-- like stuff that's not business. Or something."
Spike looked at her awkwardly, and Buffy could see that he was a bit embarrassed. It was almost cute.
"And what could that be?" she asked him, knowing very well what he wanted them to talk about.
"You know; you, me. Our, er, situation." Spike was really having troubles finding the words. His pride wouldn't let him say straight out what he wanted to tell her.
"Our situation?" Buffy repeated. She was about to say something more; something that she knew would make it even harder for him, but decided not to. She knew what he was getting at, and even though she really didn't feel ready to have that discussion, she decided that it might be best to get it over and done with. They wouldn't stay in the alternate dimension forever, either they'd go back home or, worst case scenario, they'd die. But if they managed to return to their own dimension, she didn't want to do it without clearing some things with Spike first.
"Ok, we'll talk," she said quietly and walked up to the armchair opposite Spike and sat down. "But then you'll have to listen to me first." She paused to think of how to start while Spike nodded in agreement. She really didn't know what she was going to say, so she decided to play it by ear. "All right. Um, I've been kinda confused lately. I've felt kinda numb. I haven't been myself, ever since-- Ever since that happened. That--" She paused again, this time to take a really deep breath. Spike's eyes were watching her closely. "So I guess I've been acting a bit strange. And I might have done and said things that could be misunderstood." Before Spike had the time to cut in and protest she continued. "You've done a lot, both before my -- my death and while I was gone. And when I came back you did everything you could to help me, even though I didn't really appreciate it. At least I didn't show that I did. I guess I didn't let myself, because I didn't know what might happen. After all, you are a vampire, what I'm supposed to fight. You are what I hate. And despite that, here you are, helping me out." She grinned faintly and looked sadly at his frowning face. He had no idea what she was getting at, and she could see that it was worrying him. "I know that our kiss earlier meant a lot to you. After the kiss I told you that things would change, but I didn't really know how. I still don't, but I want you to know that I'm grateful for all that you've done for me. I don't want us to go back home without you knowing that it meant something for me too. Not as much as it did for you, but it meant something."
She stopped and sighed. Now he didn't try to talk, he only reached out to take her hand. She didn't let him take it, but smiled weakly.
"I don't know what to say. I didn't plan this. But I want you to know that I'm really sorry. I-- We should both get some sleep, and then we'll continue this tomorrow when we've both gotten the chance to think things trough."
"I don't need to think it trough," Spike said hoarsely. "I know what I feel. And I know what I want. And I think that you know what you want too, you just don't want to admit it." The annoyance and impatiens was clear in his voice, and Buffy, who was really tired and quite confused, suddenly got angry with him. She'd really tried to do what he wanted; to sit down and have a calm, honest conversation with him, and the only thing she got out of it was his irritation and assumptions.
"You know what, I'm going to bed now." She rose quickly, but before she got the chance to walk away he did the same. They stood face to face, with Buffy having to look up slightly to stare him in the eyes as he blocked her way.
"Move aw-," she started to say, but before she managed to finish the sentence his lips met hers. At first she tried to push him off, but without knowing why, she soon stopped and kissed him back. The kiss was soft and didn't last that long, but when their lips parted Buffy was out of breath.
None of them said anything, mostly because both of them were as shocked over what had happened. She could see on his expression that he'd expected her to punch him down or something, not to return the kiss. Not that he was sorry about it.
"That was unexpected," she finally said, and then she broke out laughing.
Spike looked at her like she'd gone crazy. That was really not the reaction he'd been expecting. He didn't know whether to be affronted or glad that she didn't render him unconscious.
"What--" he started to ask, just as she kissed him again.
This time the kiss was everything but soft, and he had to steady himself on the back of the sofa to keep them standing. But soon he gave that up and they fell down on the soft, fabric surface. Their hands were joined together at first, but as the kiss grew deeper Spike's hands went up to clutch her face, and Buffy's arms hugged around his waist.
TBC
A/N: Lol, got to stop there!!! Ok, as usual, PLEASE review! I love those little things ;) And constructive criticism is a very good thing, because I know that my writing isn't even close to perfect. (Not that it ever will be completely, but.)
Chapter 12
Exhausted, Buffy dragged herself to her feet and started making her way towards the bathroom. All dimensions might be about to be destroyed at any minute, but at that moment she only wished to brush her teeth. The rooms that they'd been given didn't really lack anything, if you thought of the fact that the dimension they were in had pretty much frozen and stayed in the 1950's when technology was concerned. A computer nerd would probably think of it as hell.
Buffy brushed her teeth slowly while she stared at her reflection in the mirror. She looked just as she always did, except for the clothes. Whoever had picked out the clothes for her wardrobe might be good at ball gowns, but when it came to every day clothes he or she really had a lack of fashion sense. But it wasn't like it mattered. She didn't really care what the vampires and demons thought of her, and Spike -- well, she didn't think that she cared about that either. None the less she put her uncombed hair up in a ponytail and smoothed some of the creases out of her lavender blouse. She only did it because the loose strings of hair were bothering her, of course. It had nothing to do with any blonde, obnoxious vampire that sat on the sofa just outside. No, nothing at all.
Somewhat pleased with her appearance Buffy left the bathroom and tried to walk to her bedroom as unnoticed as she possibly could. But since Spike was neither deaf nor blind she didn't make it. Plus he had the whole vampire sense thing going on.
"You're going to bed?" he asked her, obviously trying to sound indifferent.
She shrugged and opened the door.
"Yeah, I'm, kinda beat. Plus I think that I could use a good nights sleep. Who knows what happens tomorrow." She almost went in and closed the door behind her, but against her better judgement she turned towards him. "Why'd you ask?"
Spike shrugged as well and did his best to make her meet his eyes.
"Just thought we could talk, tha's all," he said, still trying to sound like it didn't really matter whether she stayed or not.
"I thought we just did," Buffy replied slowly. "Just minutes ago. You know; you me, with the words and the-- er, dimensions."
"Yeah, right," he agreed quickly, and it seemed like that was the end of it. But just as she started to turn around, he took a breath and started talking again.
"I thought that we could talk about other stuff. Like-- like stuff that's not business. Or something."
Spike looked at her awkwardly, and Buffy could see that he was a bit embarrassed. It was almost cute.
"And what could that be?" she asked him, knowing very well what he wanted them to talk about.
"You know; you, me. Our, er, situation." Spike was really having troubles finding the words. His pride wouldn't let him say straight out what he wanted to tell her.
"Our situation?" Buffy repeated. She was about to say something more; something that she knew would make it even harder for him, but decided not to. She knew what he was getting at, and even though she really didn't feel ready to have that discussion, she decided that it might be best to get it over and done with. They wouldn't stay in the alternate dimension forever, either they'd go back home or, worst case scenario, they'd die. But if they managed to return to their own dimension, she didn't want to do it without clearing some things with Spike first.
"Ok, we'll talk," she said quietly and walked up to the armchair opposite Spike and sat down. "But then you'll have to listen to me first." She paused to think of how to start while Spike nodded in agreement. She really didn't know what she was going to say, so she decided to play it by ear. "All right. Um, I've been kinda confused lately. I've felt kinda numb. I haven't been myself, ever since-- Ever since that happened. That--" She paused again, this time to take a really deep breath. Spike's eyes were watching her closely. "So I guess I've been acting a bit strange. And I might have done and said things that could be misunderstood." Before Spike had the time to cut in and protest she continued. "You've done a lot, both before my -- my death and while I was gone. And when I came back you did everything you could to help me, even though I didn't really appreciate it. At least I didn't show that I did. I guess I didn't let myself, because I didn't know what might happen. After all, you are a vampire, what I'm supposed to fight. You are what I hate. And despite that, here you are, helping me out." She grinned faintly and looked sadly at his frowning face. He had no idea what she was getting at, and she could see that it was worrying him. "I know that our kiss earlier meant a lot to you. After the kiss I told you that things would change, but I didn't really know how. I still don't, but I want you to know that I'm grateful for all that you've done for me. I don't want us to go back home without you knowing that it meant something for me too. Not as much as it did for you, but it meant something."
She stopped and sighed. Now he didn't try to talk, he only reached out to take her hand. She didn't let him take it, but smiled weakly.
"I don't know what to say. I didn't plan this. But I want you to know that I'm really sorry. I-- We should both get some sleep, and then we'll continue this tomorrow when we've both gotten the chance to think things trough."
"I don't need to think it trough," Spike said hoarsely. "I know what I feel. And I know what I want. And I think that you know what you want too, you just don't want to admit it." The annoyance and impatiens was clear in his voice, and Buffy, who was really tired and quite confused, suddenly got angry with him. She'd really tried to do what he wanted; to sit down and have a calm, honest conversation with him, and the only thing she got out of it was his irritation and assumptions.
"You know what, I'm going to bed now." She rose quickly, but before she got the chance to walk away he did the same. They stood face to face, with Buffy having to look up slightly to stare him in the eyes as he blocked her way.
"Move aw-," she started to say, but before she managed to finish the sentence his lips met hers. At first she tried to push him off, but without knowing why, she soon stopped and kissed him back. The kiss was soft and didn't last that long, but when their lips parted Buffy was out of breath.
None of them said anything, mostly because both of them were as shocked over what had happened. She could see on his expression that he'd expected her to punch him down or something, not to return the kiss. Not that he was sorry about it.
"That was unexpected," she finally said, and then she broke out laughing.
Spike looked at her like she'd gone crazy. That was really not the reaction he'd been expecting. He didn't know whether to be affronted or glad that she didn't render him unconscious.
"What--" he started to ask, just as she kissed him again.
This time the kiss was everything but soft, and he had to steady himself on the back of the sofa to keep them standing. But soon he gave that up and they fell down on the soft, fabric surface. Their hands were joined together at first, but as the kiss grew deeper Spike's hands went up to clutch her face, and Buffy's arms hugged around his waist.
TBC
A/N: Lol, got to stop there!!! Ok, as usual, PLEASE review! I love those little things ;) And constructive criticism is a very good thing, because I know that my writing isn't even close to perfect. (Not that it ever will be completely, but.)
