Chapter 3: Revelations and Twists

Like a song of love that clings to me,

How the thought of you does things to me.

Irvine Gordon – 'Unforgettable'

Outside, merged with the darkness and harsh flickering light of the exterior torches, a young lady stood unmoving, thinking about love.

Get a hold of yourself, Chris. She chided herself as she had done for the past fifteen minutes. But the thought of him would not leave her. She blushed as she reminisced the brief moments when he had spoken to her in her room. In her room...

She could not think of how much pleasure that had surged through her when he touched her hand, or when his eyes met hers while he brushed his lips over her palm. Her lips curved in a smile as she thought back further, to the times when he had acted with such hot jealousy over her and later dismissed it to her as being 'protective'. Did does he feel a semblance of what I want? I do not trust my heart... I am afraid, and cannot bear to hurt someone I might love

Chris ran a hand through her hair, wind blown and floating about her like a silver cloud; but did not cease to stop thinking. Her thoughts whirled about her now, the violet orbs growing distant as she engrossed herself with thoughts of the simple people of Zexen, the welfare of her knights under her command, and also the fate of Orange Castle.

She could smell the salt and restlessness of a coming battle. She could sense it with all her veteran experience. That small piece of land was prospering too much for the council to keep their eyes turned the other way. In their arrogant opinion that land was simply theirs.

Chris let out a sigh that had been lodged in her throat. But she had been there! She had witnessed peace and happiness. She had seen how the people honoured their new master and how their master respected each and every one of the people who resided there in turn. It was true the place had not many physical attractions, but there was an inner magnetism that drew many people from all over the land. And above all they were willing to fight! Chris smiled in the darkness, her face glowing. All of them, she thought, with their pitchforks, the eccentric spellcasters, bad – tempered fortune tellers... for their land and the master that had but newly come. They had no organized army, knights, or whatsoever, but they had passion for life and were prepared to fight for it. Even against the odds of the might of the Zexen Army.

Chris gazed out into the night sky, softly hearing noises from the large dinner hall – a loud bursting laugh; a lady's high society voice drifting across to her, and wondered if there she was ever going to find the 'more' to life that she realized was missing in hers.

Borus felt a catch in his throat at the simple sight of her. He had steadied his walk, deliberately walking slower so that he could drink in the image of her standing like a princess searching the sky for her star – her knight: Me. Borus blushed slightly at that last impromptu thought.

Chris spoke without turning around, halting him. "You're back early. I would have thought that a trip across the grasslands would take somewhat longer." Her eyes continued to drift over the blanket of stars, the feeling of hurt enveloping her. Why did he leave without telling her? And why was she – the Captain of the Zexen Knights, not aware of the council's orders to one of her knights?

Borus completed his walk toward her, unsure of her tone. "I was sent on short notice by he council, my lady." He stopped beside her and leaned against the railing. He studied her profile, sharply etched in the darkness. Her tone was guarded, but she did not seem displeased with him.

"Why did they send you?" Chris asked, willing herself not to return his gaze. The intensity of him being even this close had quickened her pulse.

"The council has an interest in Orange Castle, my lady. But I am not very certain of how deep their interest goes. Orange Castle is prospering well and I am beginning to think the council wants some of that prosperity." Borus explained, confused with her conduct.

Isn't this what you were waiting for? Chris slowly turned to look at him, her breath catching in her throat as her eyes met his. He was beautiful, with blond hair that was not quite straight and hazel eyes that were wavering uncertainly as they looked at her. "Borus..." She whispered, not quite knowing what to say other than topics related to duty. "You missed the dinner opening." You couldn't be there to see me make my bow with my new dress on... Chris thought, but he had come earlier and she could not forget that scene or even diminish it somewhat from her mind.

At that Borus smiled at her. Had she wanted him to be there? "Chris..." Borus shook his head, "My lady..." He corrected himself, how much longer could he wish to pretend that she was just a beautiful, lonely damsel and not his ranked superior? Violet eyes lit with amusement, as Chris placed her hand impulsively upon his arm. "Please Borus, you have my permission. You always have." She said. And I love to hear you say my name

Borus cleared his throat. The touch upon his arm had not been removed. It seemed to linger, its presence forgotten. Not that he minded in the least. "My absence was noted?"

"Yes, of course. It is not usual for a knight of high standing to be attending public dinners; it is rare, however, for him not to attend. Many were uninformed of your upcoming absence. Salome was worried for protocol purposes." And I missed your presence. Chris lowered her eyes, she was rambling!

"Do you enjoy attending them? State dinners, I mean." Borus asked her. That was very smart. Couldn't think of anything else to say, Borus?

"Oh, every high born lady enjoys balls and parties, finding new gowns to wear and seeing whether they can live up to the competition." Chris answered carelessly. "I also love the way gossip spreads in one of those halls. So incredibly fast and efficient, you wouldn't realize it if you had a very large knife protruding from your back."

"I don't believe a word of it." Borus said, his eyes sparkling with some of their old mischief. He chuckled over what she had said. There was a large measure of truth in it.

"What?" Chris said, gaining confidence as the awkwardness left her.

"What are you doing outside then?" Borus asked with a wink. Chris closed her partly opened mouth and turned her gaze back to the sky. Daydreaming... "I was getting some fresh air. The stench of ale was beginning to clog my nose." To her surprise Borus threw back his head and laughed. Chris's eyes grew large as she looked on at his mirth over her statement.

"What's so funny?"

When he had caught his breath, he smiled at her. "I definitely don't believe you now. Chris Lightfellow, the extraordinary Silver Maiden, who once had outdrunk five of her fellow knights, left them sprawled on the cold floor of the inn, and was left still sober to pay the bill and leave, saying that 'the stench of ale clogged her nose'?"

Chris gave him a small smile before putting her hand to her mouth to suppress a giggle. "I remember." Oh yes, she definitely remembered. She had awoken with a splitting headache the morning

Borus looked at her again, trying to catch the smile that so seldom came. He covered her hand that was still touching him with his own. Chris immediately looked up, mortified that she had left her hand there, though the mirth was still in her eyes. She did not pull her hand away. "I'll ask you again in different words now. Why did you leave?" There was a two – fold question in that one. She knew what exactly he was asking from her, but she was not yet ready to answer the unspoken question. That would come later when she was ready to tell him why she had temporarily deserted the Zexen Knights to see the rest of the world with Nash. She decided to answer the simpler of the two.

"It was oppressive in there." She murmured. Unconsciously turning her hand that was linked with his upward and tightening her hold.

Borus brought her hand towards his lips and kissed it. His breath lingered upon the knuckles, making tingling sensations shoot through Chris' body. "I understand." He said softly. He often wondered if she knew of his defection, his shame. Of the murderous rage he had unleashed on the defenseless women and children of Karaya Clan. Please, let her never find out. This moment may never come again...

"But I am ravenous from travel, my lady. Would you do me the pleasure of having dinner with me? I... I assume you haven't supped yet." Borus asked her, his eyes searched hers, uncertainty making his voice softer than usual.

Chris's eyes lit up in delight though she had no desire to get back into that gala. It was her intention to get back to her room through the secret doorway. But who could resist those eyes and the charming smile that was too tentative, and she loved the feel of her hand holding his. "I would love to." She heard herself say. And she allowed herself to be led inside the castle, feeling like girlish.

* * *

I don't want to let you down,

I don't want to lead you on,

I don't want to hold you back,

From where you might belong.

David Foster and Linda Thompson – 'Goodbye'

Later that night, when everyone had retired, Chris sat awake in her room, watching the pale moonlight as it streaked across her room. Perhaps the night would have ended up wonderfully, Chris thought wistfully. Wrapped in her white nightgown that was buttoned up to chin she looked picturesque with her long hair loose about her shoulders. Had she acted too soon, too caught up in emotions she couldn't control? The fear that had suddenly risen inside of her and overridden everything. And in the end, what else could she have done to mask it, other than to slip back into the role of Captain and forget the role of an ordinary young woman in love.

Sitting alone, watching the night pass by; she wondered if she regretted her action toward him. He was besotted with her. That was not unusual though, Chris thought ruefully. But was what he was feeling and what she was feeling real? For she was a lonely, beautiful woman and pursued throughout the Zexen land... and he was – Chris suddenly sat up as the thought struck home. Wasn't he just as prized as a man? His family was old and honorable one, though of late their social standing had been fading slowly; did they expect him to make an advantageous marriage? It didn't matter, she decided firmly. Not any seed that is planted can be expected to grow.

"Love is forged through blood and steel." Chris recited, her brows furrowing trying to remember where she had read that. Numerous books were shelved around her room, from old and tearing to brand new with their spines intact. "Not through girlish fantasies of a real knight in shining armor. Especially the one with piercing brown eyes and careless hair... I would probably have to haul him from danger." Chris almost smiled at the thought, wasn't she the Silver Maiden, White Devil and numerous other names that had been associated with her? As much as she enjoyed those dreams, she did not once think that it could be real. She let out the breath she had been holding and thought back to what had happened:

They had reached the dinner hall doors, her hand now less confidently holding his. She could not stop the guards stationed around the castle from whispering and eyeing them both curiously when they had made their way there. She could not order them to keep their brows from rising in inquiry or grins from splitting their broad faces. There were some things even a Captain of the Zexen Knights cannot do, for the sure absurdity of it. She was powerless and she did not enjoy the feeling.

"Chris?" Borus asked. His eyes questioning her.

She slowly, determinedly pulled her hand from his. "Shall we?" Her eyes evaded his.

Borus barely managed not to let the surprised hurt show on his face, or in his voice. "Of course, my lady." He bowed to her, allowing her to precede him into the hall.

Chris' face had only showed confusion as she quickly turned to look at him. But he had averted his eyes this time.

She had quickly replaced it a warm smile for all the knights, pages and servants that greeted her as she made her way around the room. On the other side of the room, Salome raised his glass toward her, inviting her to where he was.

The night had passed smoothly. Like marble, cold. They had greeted each other with cool gravity and politeness bordering on unnatural between them. If the other knights had noticed it, they had given no sign. During the entire time, she had never felt so confused, relieved and regretful in her life.

Chris threw the embroidered cushion out of her lap. "This place is oppressive!" She yelled. Here she didn't know her own mind, her decisions kept on changing and she couldn't even figure out what her primary duty was: to herself or to the people. The people who were represented by the council who gave her independence to do whatever she pleased – as long as she played by their rules and furthered their gains.

Chris bounded off the foot of her bed and to her extensive wardrobe. She flung it open to reveal several elaborate gowns excruciatingly lined and pressed by her ladies. She was on orders from the council to 'keep up appearances' when ambassadors came, thus the real reason for the gowns' presence in her wardrobe. Without the gowns, the large piece of furniture was fairly empty. She tossed about the clothes that hindered her from her real search.

"There you are, "Chris said, pulling out her traveling clothes. An old, sweater that was a faded green and a pair of black pants that were well on their way to being purple or brown. She placed them along side her cheek trying to inhale some scent – a reminder of the wilderness she had come to love. They now smelled like the lavender that lined her wardrobe; she closed her eyes, concentrating on remembering the scent of the wind that had caressed her so often on her travels. Her journey of discovery. If she had been discontent then, she was desperately restless now. Should she leave? Give it a few days, Chris... everything will be fine.

* * *

Meanwhile, on a barstool on the other side of town Borus Redrum was contemplating what had happened between them. He had come with Percival, who had insisted he knew the best way to make disappear the 'forlorn' look, as he called it upon his face. Leo had tagged along but was not the best company to have, especially when induced with spirits; he was loud and red – faced, unquestionably an embarrassment to any refined knight. He was now slumped into a large armchair, asleep with a tavern wench wedged underneath his arm. Borus felt a humorous type of sympathy for the poor woman.

Percival along with his life – long affair with fine wine and ale was able to remain more sober and alert. He now looked at Borus; he had not seen him look so inconsolable since the raid on Karaya Village. Percival gulped the last of his ale, "Borus, you look like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders." He began, looking for Borus' reaction to his inquiring start. Borus stared into the untouched liquid, trying to find a pair of violet eyes. He almost laughed with pity at himself. "Care to tell me what's so funny?" Percival asked, watching the twitch of Borus' upper lip.

"I lost a duel." Borus lied.

"You what?" Percival asked, shocked. "I don't believe it. To whom?" He had never known Borus to lose a duel. Amongst themselves, the six of them never always won or lost against each other for long. With the exception of Leo who was slower at dueling but devastating when using his gargantuan axe, they were fairly matched for speed and style.

"A woman." Borus replied softly.

Percival whistled in response. "A woman, huh? She must have been something to throw you off track!" Percival studied Borus' profile. There was something that Borus wasn't telling him. "What were you dueling about? Did you challenge her modesty?" He prodded.

Borus rubbed his eyes tiredly, half – heartedly answering Percival's questions. "I tried to hold her hand." Percival's eyes widened, he couldn't tell from Borus' tone whether his friend was humoring him or telling him the truth. He let out a strangled laugh.

"You jest." Percival said. Borus merely shrugged it off, deciding the conversation was over. "Maybe." He said softly, killing the conversation. Borus then picked up the large mug that he had not touched throughout their time there and drunk it in one go; he then stood up and stretched.

"Let's head back. Leo can foot his own bill; I don't want to have to be forced into paying a share for the serving wench."

Percival drained the rest of his cup and slightly swayed when he stood. He then walked over to where Borus was and threw an arm carelessly around Borus' shoulder. "You'll get over it, friend. Give it a few days."

* * *

Chris tossed about on her bed, her body tangled with the generous amount of blankets and pillows; still in the restless clutches of her dreams. In those dark, dark dreams she saw a boy. Barely a young man and very much a boy, with lively red hair and a scowl etched upon his face. He had drawn a knife towards her, very much in the throes of a furious rage. She, on the other hand was calm, collected as at that moment anger surged through her veins at the thought of her father having died dishonorably at the hands of these barbarians.

He flew towards her, very intent on burying that long knife deep inside her. She barely had seconds to react. Never mind that he came from behind.

Chris' forehead drew into a frown. What had she done? What did I do?

"Wake up, milady!"

Where had that voice come from? Sweat dripped from her brows and trickled into her eyes. The village was burning! Great, leaping flames more than a few meters swallowed everything in sight, eating everything in its path. Were her knights safe? The stench of burning flesh assaulted her nostrils and piercing screams rang inside her head.

The boy was suddenly back and very much alive. Chris felt the calm, cold prick of fear, spreading throughout her body in a lazy fashion with devastating effects. His eyes bore into hers for a good while. The river of flames danced about them, twirling about in a dangerously alluring death dance. Someone shouted in her ear.

"Well, what do you expect of an 'ironhead'?"

A huge explosion threw them both off their feet. Storages of gas and fuel exploded, sending a good portion of the village into pieces and the rest flying into oblivion. Screams that had been heard were quickly silenced, a calm quiet swept over the village. A dark, dark red glow began to settle over the barren, slowly turning to blackness. Despair washed over her.

Chris bolted upright in her bed panting heavily. Her long hair was matted to her head and her nightgown was soaked with cold sweat all the way through. She could hear small fists pounding on her door calling her to awaken. Louis, she thought with a careless smile. She hurriedly tossed aside the heavy comforter, horrified that the golden rays of the sun were already streaming through her windows and pooling upon her bed. She quickly rang for her ladies to come bring in bathwater and attend her. In the flurry of getting dressed and the pain of her maids pulling her hair into a tight chignon, Chris was able to momentarily forget.

Louis waited for her outside, nerves making him jump as she exited her sleeping chamber. She greeted him warmly, smiling at the young lad. Louis told her of messages that he had taken in her stead, small errands and chores as well as what he had done in the early part of the morning. "Louise, you are a knight in training. Not a page, please remember that. It is not your duty to wait upon me." Chris absently said, stretching out her hand and affectionately ruffled the blondish hair.

"My Lady! It's my pleasure to do them." Louis said. "I enjoy waiting on you. And you treat me better than any other knight."

"Why do you say that?" Chris said. Louis wrinkled his nose, wishing he had not said that. He had also found out during their campaigns together that Chris was very protective towards him, always keeping him away from any unnecessary danger or situations. "They sometimes ask me to do the most tiring things."

"Such as?" Chris asked conversationally, but wanting to know for other reasons.

"It is no large matter, my lady." Louis said.

"Your father was a close friend of my father, Louis. That was the reason I specifically wanted you as my trainee when I found out your father had enlisted you." Chris gave a wry smile, looking at Louis' happy smile. "Though you seem to like playing lady's maid more." Louis giggled at the not entirely false statement and her perception.

Together they walked towards the knights meeting room, where she expected everyone would not let her forget that she overslept. Louis held open the door for her as she stepped in.

"Ah! Good morning, Lady Chris. I trust you slept well?" Salome asked, looking up from the papers he held with a glint in his eyes. The other knights looked at her, smiling their greetings, lounging about on the large chairs that were arranged in a circular fashion slightly off – center in the room. She avoided looking at Borus. Leo had a large grin pasted to his face. Usually he would be the one who would oversleep and had received the end of Salome's lashing tongue many times.

Chris took it in stride. "Extremely well, Salome. I thank you for asking." The knights guffawed. Percival looked her over, there was not a strand of hair out of place or a belt unbuckled, she looked immaculate as usual; but he could sense a deep restlessness about her. The dark shadows under her brilliant eyes betrayed a few things she would have preferred no one knew. And she was thinner than she had ever been. The last war must have taken its toll out on her, Percival thought with concern.

Salome cleared his throat. "Shall we begin now that everyone is present?" He glanced about the room. "Where is Roland?" He asked, mildly irritated.

Percival laughed. "He said he was hungry." Leo laughed at the remark, "I second that!" Borus looked up, bored. "You're always hungry." He said.

Chris felt a pang of guilt. Usually, after the morning summons, the six knights would proceed to break their fast before each carried out their duty for the day. Now that it was close to the tenth hour, the time for breakfast was already past. None of the knights showed any reactions to their stomach's demands, but Roland was an elf and maybe the difference lay there. She looked down at Louis' cheerful face and asked him quietly, "Are you hungry, Louis?" He nodded eagerly in reply. "Alright then..." Chris said to him.

Chris addressed them all, "Everyone!" When she was satisfied she had received everyone's attention, she began. "Firstly, I would like to apologize for my delay. Salome, please do not reprimand Roland for justly being hungry. The fault lies with me – for my late appearance at this meeting."

Borus looked up, and then quickly tore his gaze from her, for fear that what he felt inside would show through them. She was acting like he had expected – like nothing had happened.

"I suggest, Salome." She continued. "That we all break our fasts first and then proceed to this meeting room for your briefing of duties and notes from the council for today."

Salome nodded. "A fine idea, Lady Chris. You are all dismissed until the next hour and a half."

Percival leapt up to his feet. "Finally, I'm starved." Leo and Borus mumbled along the same lines and contexts as they all made their way to the door. Percival was about to whisk around and use his charm to persuade Lady Chris to join them, but she was already at the door.

"Shall I escort you, Lady Chris?" Louis asked hopefully, looking up at her. She smiled gently at him, and gave him her arm. "Of course, Louis. You needn't have asked." She said with mock gravity and threw him a teasing wink and he laughed. Percival watched all with a mix curiosity and a little jealousy toward her carefree attitude towards Louis. Why was she acting like she was distancing herself from the rest of the knights?

* * *

Percival chewed noisily on his bread before swallowing it down with a large gulp. He washed it down with cool water and then turned to the other knights. He noticed Roland looking bored and said, "Put away that long face, elf. If you had waited then, you wouldn't be bored out of your wits now." Roland flicked a lopsided smile to Percival, before letting loose a loud yawn that momentarily had other inhabitants of the kitchen looking their way.

"This table is very dreary." Percival tried again, attempting to cut through their attention towards their food. "Does anyone have a mission they have not yet accomplished?"

"Aye, I do." Leo answered gravely. Percival inclined his head towards him, not believing it. "And what is it?"

"I'm still on a mission to win over Lady Chris' heart." Leo said, and broke into laughter at his own joke.

"It was a mission doomed to failure before it ever started, Leo." Roland retorted; his face carefully expressionless but betrayed by the crinkling of the eyes. Percival grinned; he and Borus toasted their mugs together, laughing.

This was just like an ordinary breakfast, Borus thought. The jokes they had made about themselves and Lady Chris, it wasn't unusual at all for her name to be brought about in humorous conversation. But today, although it was funny, he didn't feel... he couldn't pinpoint it exactly, but he didn't quite feel as it was OK to joke about their Captain in that sense. They should show her some respect. Borus looked downwards, still smiling for outward appearances. He knew better, she had the admiration and respect of the entire legion of knights, just not the ungrateful council that governed them. I cannot forget last night... that is why.

He looked up to see three pairs of eyes blinking expectantly at him. "What?" Borus asked, his thoughts thrown off track. Roland grinned, "Who is she?"

"She who?"

"The one who beat you in a duel?" Leo pressed on. Borus shot a quick look at Percival, who just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders with a bewildered look upon his face, indicating that he had not spoken of what Borus had said the night before.

"Don't look like that at ol' Percy; it's amazing what you hear when others think you're asleep." So he hadn't been asleep! Borus thought. I did not give him enough credit.

"I'll keep that in mind." Borus replied a little tersely. "Was the wench there for deco?"

Leo erupted in a hearty laugh. "C'mon Borus! We're dying to know. Roland here wants to try his bow against her, if she's good enough to actually beat you."

Borus searched his head for a name, any name. A girl that knew how to fence. "Alright, alright." He said, satisfied with his choice. "It was Lily." He looked around him in amusement as their jaws dropped, especially Percival who thought him either besotted with her, or just plain mad – being besotted with her was crazy enough, mad was just an extra point.

"That loudmouth?" Leo asked, scratching his head. Percival cut in, "She came during the attempted siege of Brass Castle, with the son of Lucia of the Karayan Clan. She was a pretty good swordsman, and fought on our side." He looked at Borus incredulously. Was this the girl he had tried to hold hands with? The image was so absurd that he started to laugh.

Roland, not taking the bait at all, asked: "How did you meet up with her?" Now Borus felt a little jaunty and mischievous. "She was staying at Orange Castle. And has matured in more ways than you can imagine."

"Ah." Roland said. "I shall have to see now, won't I?" Throwing Leo a conspiring wink which caused the large man to laugh, he stood and excused himself.

"Err; I hope he isn't going to do what I think he's going to." Borus muttered to Percival who was shaking with mirth. Leo finished his ale, draining the last drops not bothering to keep the noise down. "Since when have we ever been able to see though that elvish mind of his?" Leo said.

"Leo, are you quite finished? I was going to ask you to spar with me." Borus said, his patience already stretched waiting for him.

"Need practice, huh?" Leo guffawed.

"No! Forget I asked." Borus said, standing up from the table. "Percival?" He asked.

"Sure." Percival said. Sparring was one of his favorite past times, it kept him fit and healthy, along with fencing. He generally enjoyed fencing with Lady Chris though, she was his greatest challenge for a good fight; she was lightning quick with devastating combinations of attack which he could never keep track of. It was also the only time, besides in real live combat that he could get that close to her and she would not back away a step.

"Let's go then." They excused themselves from Leo and made their way to the training area.

The sounds of the training area could be heard from outside the high walls. Loud grunts of exertions and clashes of steel were uncommon if one happened to walk past. Nevertheless it was the finest place to train in the opinion of many who had journeyed and traded with trainers from the Grasslands and beyond. It was a pity though, they said, that it was hard to get into and very exclusive. The smell of sweat drifted in the air the closer Borus and Percival got to it.

"Oh! I may have to pull back from your offer, Borus. Look who's going into the training grounds!" Percival suddenly said, his eyes transfixed in delight. Borus followed his eyes and startlingly made out lithe figure of Lady Chris along with Louis. He closed his eyes, half wishing that when he opened his eyes, she would not be there. He was so uncertain about them, were they friends? He couldn't answer it with certainty, not after last night, when she had held his hand so willingly and blushed when he had kissed hers. But... it could either be an opening, a softening of her or a closure to whatever might have been.

"I have to ask her for a fence." Percival said beside him but Borus was no longer listening. Before he knew what was happening, Percival was dragging him by his sleeve, calling out her name.

"Lady Chris! Lady Chris!"

A/N: Well, there it is! I'm very sorry for the extremely long delay for this chapter. Comments are welcome. I am not sure if this chapter came out as it was supposed to and if I wrote it well to satisfy. Anyway, just enjoy it. And no, it isn't supposed to be a cliffhanger. =) Thank you for all of you that reviewed. I write for the fun of it, but it is very encouraging to receive them.