Author's note: Was written in 90 minutes for a Temps_Mort challenge. Far from brilliant, but then, few 90 minute pieces are ^_^.

Fairytale.

And they all lived happily ever after.

Wait, that's not quite right, is it? Most fairytales are supposed to start somewhat differently, but I can't quite remember how. I've never really been one for fairytales, I was certainly never read any as a child. I'm sure the correct phrase will come to me in time.

Ah. That's right. Let's try that again, shall we?

Once upon a time there lived a very handsome prince. He was rather dashing, with pretty green eyes and luscious black hair that cascaded in waves down his back. Oh, don't look at me like that, it did so. Don't be jealous simply because you're not a picture of perfection as well.

And by the way, that colour is awful on you. Just thought you'd like to know.

As I was saying. Once upon a time there was this devastatingly perfect prince. Perfect figure, perfect complexion, absolutely perfect cascading hair and a wonderfully perfect temperament. The name of our hero, our dashing man of action?

Because you asked so nicely, his name was Ryuuji Otogi.

Why yes, that happens to be my name also. An interesting co-incidence that I never would have picked up on if it hadn't been pointed out for me. Thank-you so much for your witty contribution to my fairytale, now if you would so kindly go back to practising the fine art of listening?

People these days.

Our prince lived in a dark and not particularly nice castle called the 'Black Crown' – horribly ominous sounding, wouldn't you agree? Suitably so, really, considering the horrible and mean King that ruled there. Unlike most horrible and mean kings, his dungeon was not hidden deep in the depths of the castle – there was a game shop there, instead – but upstairs in what really should have been innocent rooms. The kitchen, with its pretty china set with purple flowers on it. The lounge, with its state of the art sound system. The bedroom, which never ever seemed to be clean, no matter how many times it was scrubbed and swept.

Don't you hate it how horrible and mean kings never have decent detergents? Oh, well.

Because our prince was still young (and very beautiful – have I mentioned that yet?), he could not leave the confines of his castle unless his father allowed, which was rare. In fact, the only time that poor Ryuuji was ever really allowed to go anywhere without the supervision of his parental unit was when he went to his daily non-father inspired torture. School.

For some strange reason that Ryuuji could not possibly understand, kids didn't like you too much when you're the son of an obviously insane, mentally deranged King who dresses up as a clown all the time. Yes. Even when attending parent nights. How embarrassing.

But luckily for our prince, the King decided to move his kingdom elsewhere, concluding that it was time to leave the small, dank territory that he had made his own, and conquer new and greater ones. Ah, but it wasn't quite so simple as that, it never is when gorgeous and tortured princes are involved. There was a vendetta, and promises of death and revenge.

Your normal fairytale stuff, when you think about it. Although there are sadly no fairy godmothers involved, magical spells or pretty dresses. Not that our prince would ever wear a dress, and he especially would NEVER look like a girl in one. Handsome. Handsome. Not pretty. Pft.

I'm not pouting. Besides, what did I tell you about the importance of being a good and quiet audience?

To defeat the opposing King, Prince Ryuuji was used as a tool, considered easily expendable by his father and sure to become exactly that if he failed. But in a drastic twist that no one could have possibly foreseen, Prince Ryuuji did end up losing, but it was his deranged father who said bye-bye, all the way to a far away lunatic asylum.

Stop cheering; I'm not finished yet.

As a result, Prince Ryuuji took over his father's kingdom, inheriting all of his dear dad's responsibilities. Promoting the fabulous game that every single kid wants for Christmas – including yours, my dear listener – was easy, but attending conference after conference, meeting after meeting? To be brutally honest, it bored our poor prince half to death. After all, all the other Kings were at least twice his age, and the product many of them were interested in when it came to our prince often had little connection to his actual game.

Which is not to say that he never … played … with the other kings. Ryuuji was all about the end result.

What?! A slut?!! Why you little –

Oh, the story? Right.

One day, however, Ryuuji met someone who would save him from his crushing boredom. That the same person would also rescue him from the defeating loneliness that was slowly swallowing our prince is mostly unimportant, because it was the boredom that was really the problem. Seto Kaiba was unlike any King that Ryuuji had ever met: young, collected, intelligent.

Plus, he didn't try to jump Prince Ryuuji within minutes of meeting him. A very rare phenomenon, indeed.

Our prince knew of Seto Kaiba, of course. Kingdom-wise, there were few bigger. On top of that, one of the few 'kind of' friends that Ryuuji had made since moving had some sort of lopsided rivalry with the 'arrogant snot of a prick'. Not that that particular opinion meant much, coming from a commoner and all.

The introduction was brief, but the pair found themselves gravitating towards each other at those very conferences and talks that had so hampered Ryuuji's life, beforehand. The prince doubted that it was really that King Kaiba actually liked him all that much, and that it was instead the prince's mixture of obvious intelligence (which the others all seemed to be desperately lacking), undeniably good looks and the presence of a backbone (again, a choice-optional for all Kings) when dealing with him.

And as for Prince Ryuuji? Well, Seto Kaiba was the closest thing to normal he had ever known. If there is a scarier thought out there, I dare you to find it. That the prince found the King almost attractive in a 'fuck me NOW!' kind of way really had nothing to do with their somewhat friendship.

For the last time, the prince was Not. A. Slut. I know you didn't say anything, but that look practically screams it.

Even though our prince most certainly was not anything close to being slutty, it was really only time before the pair fell into bed together – don't you dare roll your eyes. Being with King Kaiba was very different to any of the prince's other relationships, where he'd always felt like a pawn being played perfectly by someone else. With Seto, it was … nice. Not roses in the evening and breakfast in bed nice, because this was King Seto Kaiba after all. Besides, he'd been brought expensive flowers before and served breakfast in bed on numerous occasions, and never felt more important than a two-bit trick. Seto had a way of letting him know that he was an equal. Not superior. Not inferior. Just equal.

Of course, equal ended up meaning that Prince Ryuuji wasn't the only one with a fucked-up childhood that still haunted him constantly. It certainly led to some interesting and uncomfortable moments, especially after one of them would have one of those pesky nightmares that, gosh darn it, they just could never remember when they woke up.

They eventually taught each other how to remember.

But I suppose I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I? It's not long until the end, I promise. You can go off and bitch about the crappy fairytale you were told soon - I never mentioned anything about this being a masterpiece, did I? So, anyway. King Kaiba and Prince Ryuuji engage in a relationship with heaps of fucking fantastic sex. As time went on, Prince Ryuuji found himself falling in love with the wonderful King who saved him from his boredom yaddy, yaddy, ya. Ryuuji slowly began to allow Seto to see some of the deepest buried skeletons that were hidden in his closet, and Seto in turn revealed some of his.

All very romantic and sweet. Which means it must be time for some conflict. Yay! Conflict!

Yes, I was being sarcastic. Should I be worried that you even had to ask?

The conflict that our plot now follows came about solely as a result of our prince's inexperience. Not in THAT area you pervert, how can you call him a slut one moment then with your next breath mock his abilities? Sheesh. No. Ryuuji's inexperience came not from any lack of talent in the bedroom. Most definitely not. You see, Ryuuji's major problem was that he'd never really known happiness before. Certainly not with his father, who had made sure his life was anything but. The various lovers and part-timers that had come before Seto? Ha! Don't make me laugh.

Not having known what it was like to be happy, Ryuuji set about screwing up his newly found life as much as any single person could.

He asked for more.

Stupid, stupid Prince Ryuuji. Turns out that our perfect prince was really far from perfect after all. In fact, if one looked closely, they'd most likely see that there was nothing golden or handsome about the prince, and that he was nothing more than tarnished brass covered with a thin layer of yellow paint. Used goods trying desperately to masquerade itself as anything, anything else.

Our prince, being so silly and naïve, thought that what he asked for was hardly much to kick a fuss up about. After all, the pair had been secretly seeing each other for almost a year, and surely King Kaiba wanted everyone to know about his fabulous lover. Not, I'll have you know, in a Pamela Anderson/Tommy Lee kind of way, but in a more subtle 'gentle kiss on the cheek in public', 'occasional special smile across the conference room', sort of way. It seems that Ryuuji was turning into the worst kind of romantic – the one who couldn't see the forest through the trees.

Kaiba said no. Resolutely.

Ryuuji threw a hissy fit.

Very mature, I know.

According to Ryuuji, people who cared about each other didn't hide their relationship from even their closest 'kind-of' friends. According to Ryuuji, people who cared about each other didn't have to pretend to occasionally date other people. According to Ryuuji, when people loved each other-

Kaiba, being the nice, sane King he happened to be, chose that moment to interrupt Ryuuji and remind him of one little fact. Love had never factored into their relationship, at least most certainly not from his end.

Which really, forest/trees, trees/forest. Kaiba was after all the King who had everything, and Prince Ryuuji was just Prince Ryuuji, a fucked-up little boy in royal clothing.

He still had pretty green eyes, however, ones that starred at the boy-King, wide-eyed, before narrowing in anger. We've already established now that our paper-bag prince is very good when it comes to not seeing things for what they are, and in a moment of insanity that was more befitting his father, he offered his lover an ultimatum. The following night. 7pm. That nice little restaurant just off the main road that the two 'friends' often visited to discuss 'business'.

Only this time, they would be there as a couple.

Or that was it. Ryuuji would find a new Kingdom, and a new King.

With that, he flounced out, leaving a hopefully anguished Seto behind.

It wouldn't have been fair if only his heart had been breaking, after all.

It rained the next day. Naturally. Just as naturally, there was no cover outside the restaurant, so the hair that had been perfectly styled and the clothes perfectly pressed, were ruined moments upon Ryuuji's arrival at their meeting place outside.

I take it that the symbolism there is not too difficult for you to comprehend? Good.

For quite possibly the first time in his life, Ryuuji was early. And while it would have been nice for Seto to have been there at six thirty, drenched to the skin and apologetic as hell, Ryuuji didn't hold his absence it against his punctual lover. After all, Seto most likely had something very important to deal with. Just as long as he was on time like usual, because the water was already beginning to seep through his jacket.

I doubt that Ryuuji breathed between 6:50pm and 7:00pm. Realising that Seto was obviously running late, the prince didn't take the intelligent route and wait for his partner inside. That would take an ounce of common sense, which we've already established Ryuuji most certainly lacked. He turned down the umbrella that was offered to him by a sympathetic customer closer to 8pm, wanly replying that his date was sure to be there 'any moment now'.

As the distant bells of a clock tower chimed 9pm, Ryuuji's tarnished and battered crown fell to the pavement, shattering into a thousand pieces. When the restaurant closed several hours later, his heart joined it.

He took the first plane to the kingdom named 'The United States' first thing in the morning, and he never saw King Kaiba ever again.

… and that is it! Tada! You'll have to excuse me if it drags in places, my first time round, and all. I must say, you got much better at that whole listening without interrupting bit as the story went on, very restrained of you. No need for you to –

Oh. Damn it. There I go with my lack of knowledge of fairytales again. Not only did I not start this one correctly, I ended it wrong as well. Mind if I attempt that once more?

And they all lived happily ever after.

Huh. You know, that doesn't sound quite right here, either. Are you sure it doesn't belong at the beginning, after all?