He was still standing on the terrace in the darkness, and the moon was still shining on him.
And Knox was watching him, smiling. "You didn't expect that, did you?"
He drew a deep breath. Time was running again now. I did.
"Oh, really." But Knox didn't sound convinced. "You'd make a fine one, if you ask me. You've got that certain something."
He'd make a fine assassin.
What was it he had? What did Knox mean?
He'd make a fine assassin. What a thing to say. Would he really? He wondered. Could he kill?
It's not hard, he told himself. After all, a human is only too vulnerable.
And you've always wanted to, haven't you? Ever since that day you hate to remember. You've secretly desired to kill, to rip, to cut, to tear, to spill blood different from your own. There were those nights when you couldn't sleep, and you would get out of bed and gaze out into the night, and you would long for murder, thirst for blood…
It's all that hatred inside me. I'll have to let it out or it may well kill me.
Someone, whoever, has to be killed.
Anyone.
You will finally see blood…
Man, he scolded himself, come to your senses! Some weird fellow offers you the job of an assassin and there you go, fantasising about bloodshed like Count Dracula!
For a brief moment he smiled inwardly, wondering if that had anything to do with his Romanian heritage. But then he realized that Knox was still looking at him, watching him. He was waiting for an answer.
This situation is crazy. You're dreaming, boy. Wake up.
Well, if he was dreaming, he might as well…
What would you need an assassin for? he scribbled and passed the note on to Knox.
The man smirked at him in response. "You never know, kid. You never know."
Why do you ask me? Any moment now Knox would laugh at him and drop the matter and instead tell him that he needed just a lad for odd jobs or something like that. Any moment. Go on, just do it. Your little joke is not funny anymore.
But did he really want it to be a joke?
"We-ell, I asked your friend Morgan. He wanted to quit because someone else had made him a bigger offer. I said I was ready to accept his resignation, but he'd have to find me another one. A nice fresh kid, for preference. Someone whose wages wouldn't be over the top. Someone we could have trained as I wanted him. He grinned at that and said he knew just the kid." Knox was behaving as if giving an account of a football match he had participated in, with a lazy air but not without pride. "I wanted to take care of that selection myself, but Vivian took matters into her own hand. She arranged for you and Morgan to come to that bar and do a bit of fencing. When she found you worthy, she took you along. And here you are. Our hopeful new candidate."
He felt a surge of anger at Benji for not telling him, and at Knox for playing with him like that. Yes, he tended to believe him. But couldn't they have used another method of informing him?
Knox was probably waiting for a reaction of any kind, an answer. But he didn't know what to tell him. Should he accept? Was it wise to accept? Maybe he would find himself entangled in some criminal organisation soon, with no way out.
Yes, but Benji had been allowed to leave.
There was one more question on his mind. Has Benji ever killed for you?
"Only once, and not really for me."
Oh man. And Benji had never told him.
Should he follow that path? Somehow, it was mightily alluring. An unexpected opportunity, a life full of risk and danger, a life filled with adventure, a life he might well enjoy.
And if they caught him, he might well be executed.
"Still considering it, buddy? Come on, it's just the right thing for you. Maybe no steady income and no mortgage, but you can make big money there. Believe me. And I'll have an eye on you. I'll make sure you do it right."
A sudden idea struck him: Acting the tough businessman, he wrote: How much?
Reading this, Knox chuckled to himself. "That's a language you understand, eh? Let's say five hundred mice for tonight because you're still learning. For every hour of bodyguard duty you may well double that. There'll be various little jobs for you, which will also earn you something, of course. And for a proper kill… there'll be a lot more."
What? Did Knox really mean to give him five hundred dollars this evening? He'd never had that much! He'd never even seen that much! Well, to others that might not be a lot of money, but to him it certainly was. And those other offers…
"Can you agree with those terms? Or do you want more? I'm always open for negotiations."
For a moment he hesitated. Should he ask for more? After all, for a dangerous job like that… But no, he didn't want to appear greedy. 500 $ is fine. Am I going to kill anybody tonight?
Knox nodded in satisfaction. "That's another test you've passed. I don't like my men to be avaricious. Yes, kid, you're going to kill tonight. That is, if you accept. Take your time to consider it."
Is this another test?
Knox smiled. "No, boy. Just take your time."
Thrusting his hand into his pockets, he looked up at the full moon. A wild wolf of the woods would howl now, sing a sad, lonely song, not caring if there were any listeners or not. Somehow he felt very much like a wolf on its own.
There was something in his pocket. A strand of hair. Vivian's hair. He had ripped it out.
What was it Vivian had asked him shortly before he had done so? If he would kill Knox?
Would Knox want him to kill Vivian tonight?
No, certainly not. Vivian seemed to be his partner in whatever it was he was really doing, and moreover she seemed to be his lover. Knox wouldn't want him to kill Vivian.
If he killed somebody tonight, and the police found out… Again the prospect of execution appeared before his inner eye.
He shrugged it away. You don't have a life anyway. There's nothing before you. You might as well start off as a killer. There's nothing else for you.
Taking up notepad and pen again, he prepared to write an answer.
Knox was walking up and down nearby, not heeding him. Indeed, he was giving him time.
There was the slapping of the waves against the rocks again, constant like the heartbeat of the universe. And moon and stars shining upon it all… What a rare beauty lay in this scene! And what a contrast had their matter of discussion been.
The stars were still shining on him as they had done before. But something had changed. He had changed. He had made a decision that altered everything. To him, it felt as if he was re-arranging the stars.
Yes, he was currently re-arranging his own stars. His personal stars of fate.
But beside all that, he was still the teenager he had used to be, silent and a loner, not even twenty yet, almost half a child. The long evening began to wear down on him, weariness was creeping into his limbs. He felt awkward so on his own, somehow lost. And he still had to go to the bathroom.
Not the great warrior his grandfather had wanted him to be.
But from now on, he might have the chance to fulfil that wish.
As he finally wrote his answer, he smiled faintly. At first he had wanted it to be a little bit dramatic, like in a fantasy novel. But then, it turned out quite simple: I accept.
