A MASK OF HUMANITY
Part V (Zadei)
I watch Tetei leave. His shoulders are hunched, his steps quick, making me think more of a hurried retreat than of the end of a pleasant afternoon. The girl is standing motionless, gazing after his disappearing form. I'm not particularly perceptive when it comes to the feelings of other people but somehow the longing in her eyes is painfully obvious. I don't think she truly loves him yet – it is more of a young girl's crush and it mustn't be allowed to grow. If I had to guess I'd say she told him today. And Tetei of course is far too scared of hurting her to give her any sort of answer. I've been wanting to talk to her for some time now but somehow I never got around to actually do it. Now or never, isn't it? Before the girl has a chance to get away I step out of the shadows, smiling in what I hope is a reassuring way. Close up she is even prettier. As she notices me her face crumples in confusion and I suddenly feel like some a leering pervert harassing little girls in a dark alley. Well, not altogether wrong. I keep smiling.
"Hi."
It is obvious that her first instinct is to run but breeding and the many people watching keep her from it.
"Uh, hello."
"You are Sherrill, right? I'm a friend of Julian's. Maybe he mentioned me some time – Yamato?"
Now she, too, is smiling, all fear gone from her eyes. Stupid girl.
"Yes, actually he did. But you missed him. He just left."
"I know. I want to talk to you. Why don't we go back inside?"
She follows me back into the coffee shop and I grin somewhat proud of myself. It's not going half bad. We sit down at the table she and Tetei occupied a few minutes ago. Ordering a latté, Sherrill looks expectantly at me.
"So what do you want to talk about? It – it's got to do with Julian, isn't it? Did he ask you to talk to me?"
I look at her hopeful eyes and decide to be blunt. She'll never get it otherwise and let's face it, subtlety isn't my strong suit.
"Not exactly. I want you to forget about him."
Her mouth opens but before she can say anything I quickly continue:
"It's not that he doesn't like you. But he hasn't been completely honest with you. He ... didn't want to hurt you. But the truth is that he'll never be anything more than your friend. Julian is mine."
I watch her as slowly understanding sinks in, her hands trembling so badly she has to put down her cup. As she speaks her voice, too, is trembling.
"Wh-what should I do?"
"Find someone else, someone who makes you happy. He wants you to be happy – probably more than you can imagine. And if you can't do that while being his friend you'll need to very gently tell him to leave you alone."
She doesn't say anything but her eyes are wide and filled with pain. I suddenly know that I did the right thing. Tetei could never have done this, not blaming himself the way he does. I however have no such qualms and I couldn't care less about who she used to be. Does he realize, I wonder, that his feelings of guilt about this girl are not wholly unlike mine? Well, I guess I have made myself clear enough. Throwing some cash onto the table, I get up. As I look down at her I can feel the black bleed out of my eyes.
"One more thing: if you ever hurt him on purpose I will make you pay. Coffee is on me."
I whistle as I head out of the door, leaving a thoroughly stunned girl behind. Is she going to tell Tetei about our little chat, I wonder? Probably not – too embarrassing. My left hand aches and, absent-mindedly flexing my fingers, I descend into the subway. The train isn't going to arrive for another few minutes so I sit down and idly study the wall. The past few days have been tough. I have been constantly on the lookout for Gerumu's demons but so far only one showed up – a rather pitiful little creature, easily disposed of. I've been trying to spend less time at home to not draw any unwanted guests. All in all I think so far I've been doing a fairly good job. All of a sudden a giant hand seizes me and the world ripples out of focus. Fuck. Breathing through my nose, I extend my senses, trying to find the source of the disturbance. It is gone, though, unequivocal and untraceable.
The train arrives and half an hour later I reach our apartment block, smiling happily as I see the light behind our window. Tetei must have gone straight home. Already my pulse is quickening, stomach twisting in anticipation. It's been a few days, hasn't it? Altogether too long. I truly haven't been home much... Well, starting today I'll make it up to Tetei. I'll be the nicest, most forthcoming lover imaginable. And did I mention all the hot sex we'll have?
TBC
Rheeeeeea and everyone! *squeals* Thank you so much for your patience! And your comments! So glad you are still here and reading.
Part V (Zadei)
I watch Tetei leave. His shoulders are hunched, his steps quick, making me think more of a hurried retreat than of the end of a pleasant afternoon. The girl is standing motionless, gazing after his disappearing form. I'm not particularly perceptive when it comes to the feelings of other people but somehow the longing in her eyes is painfully obvious. I don't think she truly loves him yet – it is more of a young girl's crush and it mustn't be allowed to grow. If I had to guess I'd say she told him today. And Tetei of course is far too scared of hurting her to give her any sort of answer. I've been wanting to talk to her for some time now but somehow I never got around to actually do it. Now or never, isn't it? Before the girl has a chance to get away I step out of the shadows, smiling in what I hope is a reassuring way. Close up she is even prettier. As she notices me her face crumples in confusion and I suddenly feel like some a leering pervert harassing little girls in a dark alley. Well, not altogether wrong. I keep smiling.
"Hi."
It is obvious that her first instinct is to run but breeding and the many people watching keep her from it.
"Uh, hello."
"You are Sherrill, right? I'm a friend of Julian's. Maybe he mentioned me some time – Yamato?"
Now she, too, is smiling, all fear gone from her eyes. Stupid girl.
"Yes, actually he did. But you missed him. He just left."
"I know. I want to talk to you. Why don't we go back inside?"
She follows me back into the coffee shop and I grin somewhat proud of myself. It's not going half bad. We sit down at the table she and Tetei occupied a few minutes ago. Ordering a latté, Sherrill looks expectantly at me.
"So what do you want to talk about? It – it's got to do with Julian, isn't it? Did he ask you to talk to me?"
I look at her hopeful eyes and decide to be blunt. She'll never get it otherwise and let's face it, subtlety isn't my strong suit.
"Not exactly. I want you to forget about him."
Her mouth opens but before she can say anything I quickly continue:
"It's not that he doesn't like you. But he hasn't been completely honest with you. He ... didn't want to hurt you. But the truth is that he'll never be anything more than your friend. Julian is mine."
I watch her as slowly understanding sinks in, her hands trembling so badly she has to put down her cup. As she speaks her voice, too, is trembling.
"Wh-what should I do?"
"Find someone else, someone who makes you happy. He wants you to be happy – probably more than you can imagine. And if you can't do that while being his friend you'll need to very gently tell him to leave you alone."
She doesn't say anything but her eyes are wide and filled with pain. I suddenly know that I did the right thing. Tetei could never have done this, not blaming himself the way he does. I however have no such qualms and I couldn't care less about who she used to be. Does he realize, I wonder, that his feelings of guilt about this girl are not wholly unlike mine? Well, I guess I have made myself clear enough. Throwing some cash onto the table, I get up. As I look down at her I can feel the black bleed out of my eyes.
"One more thing: if you ever hurt him on purpose I will make you pay. Coffee is on me."
I whistle as I head out of the door, leaving a thoroughly stunned girl behind. Is she going to tell Tetei about our little chat, I wonder? Probably not – too embarrassing. My left hand aches and, absent-mindedly flexing my fingers, I descend into the subway. The train isn't going to arrive for another few minutes so I sit down and idly study the wall. The past few days have been tough. I have been constantly on the lookout for Gerumu's demons but so far only one showed up – a rather pitiful little creature, easily disposed of. I've been trying to spend less time at home to not draw any unwanted guests. All in all I think so far I've been doing a fairly good job. All of a sudden a giant hand seizes me and the world ripples out of focus. Fuck. Breathing through my nose, I extend my senses, trying to find the source of the disturbance. It is gone, though, unequivocal and untraceable.
The train arrives and half an hour later I reach our apartment block, smiling happily as I see the light behind our window. Tetei must have gone straight home. Already my pulse is quickening, stomach twisting in anticipation. It's been a few days, hasn't it? Altogether too long. I truly haven't been home much... Well, starting today I'll make it up to Tetei. I'll be the nicest, most forthcoming lover imaginable. And did I mention all the hot sex we'll have?
TBC
Rheeeeeea and everyone! *squeals* Thank you so much for your patience! And your comments! So glad you are still here and reading.
